u/Competitive-Ear-6693

I'm only 15 and I officially left Christianity on January 14th and I wanna burn my Bible but my mom might get mad even tho she's ok with me not being Christian. Maybe I should just draw the pride flag all over it instead? Wait maybe I'll do that instead lol

Also! There's no flair option for sex-oscillating 😞

It's already been proven that this has no correlation but I recently came out to my mom that I'm omnisexual and a few days ago she was saying it might be because I used to watch lesbian porn when I was younger. I can see why she thought that bc I had doubts about it too, but it honestly made me feel invalidated and also when I came out to her I knew she was gonna bring it up sooner or later.

So I go to a standard state (public) secondary school in New Zealand. It is completely NON-RELIGIOUS. However, at today's Year 10 assembly, the staff unexpectedly started the session with a likely Christian prayer. It ended with a distinct "Amen," which left me and my close friends feeling incredibly confused and uncomfortable (except for my sister, who is Christian).

After the assembly, my Muslim friend, my agnostic friend, and I were talking about it, and we all felt really weirded out by it.

Our school normally avoids this kind of religious instruction. They pride themselves on being inclusive of all backgrounds and identities. We usually open assemblies with the traditional karakia "Whakataka te Hau" ("Whakataka te hau ki te uru, whakataka te hau ki te tonga..."). I fully participate in that because it is a secular cultural ritual about clearing weather, finding focus, and bringing people together—it has absolutely nothing to do with a god.

Has any other NZ public school student experienced this recently? Is this becoming a regular thing now, or did my school just completely mess up the Ministry guidelines? Not everyone at school is religious, and I thought public schools were supposed to remain strictly secular.

Edit: Thanks for all the comments and the legal breakdowns. To clarify a few things being debated: our school regularly uses secular karakia (like Whakataka te Hau) which doesn't mention a god and is purely about clearing the mind and gathering together. We all happily participate in that.

What happened at this assembly was entirely different—it was an adult-led Christian style blessing that wrapped up with a formal 'Amen.' Whether or not they tried to sneakily swap out the word 'God' for general values, using a distinct religious closing at a mandatory assembly without giving anyone a heads-up or an option to opt out definitely feels like a breach of the secular guidelines

So I go to a standard state (public) secondary school in New Zealand. It is completely NON-RELIGIOUS. However, at today's Year 10 assembly, the staff unexpectedly started the session with a probably Christian prayer. It ended with a distinct "Amen," which left me and my close friends feeling incredibly confused and uncomfortable (except for my sister, who is Christian).

After the assembly, my Muslim friend, my agnostic friend, and I were talking about it, and we all felt really weirded out by it.

Our school normally avoids this kind of religious instruction. They pride themselves on being inclusive of all backgrounds and identities. We usually open assemblies with the traditional karakia "Whakataka te Hau" ("Whakataka te hau ki te uru, whakataka te hau ki te tonga..."). I fully participate in that because it is a secular cultural ritual about clearing weather, finding focus, and bringing people together—it has absolutely nothing to do with a god.

Has any other NZ public school student experienced this recently? Is this becoming a regular thing now, or did my school just completely mess up the Ministry guidelines? Not everyone at school is religious, and I thought public schools were supposed to remain strictly secular.

Edit I'm lowky getting slimed in r/newzealand

Idk why but I always felt that words like cunt (in the context of like a baddie or smt), baddie, girlhood and stuff were just for cis women, like it just felt like it belongs to them, and then one day I came across a video where a nonbinary person said they felt cunty and I jist felt super happy bc I wanna be a baddie but that makes me feel cis. This is a useless rant but those types of girlhood things made me feel unseen or too cis and hetero.

So I officially came out to my mom, and I am currently sitting in my room experiencing the most insane emotional whiplash ever.

For context, I’m omnisexual, demisexual, genderfaerflux, gendervague (they/she), and an agnostic atheist. A few days ago, my mom and I had a conversation where she basically said she doesn't care if we're gay as long as we're healthy, and she even said I didn't have to go to church anymore (just me, since my siblings are still Christian). But during that same conversation, she randomly made a joke like, "if ur lesbian or something I'll actually kick u out, I don't want u in my house." Her tone was super serious and me and my twin sister were both like wtf that's not ok, but then she claimed she was just joking. Because of the other stuff she said though, I still thought she was in a much softer place than she used to be.

I spent forever writing this super detailed coming-out script explaining my identity, how my neurodivergence connects to my gender, and setting boundaries about religion. I sent it on Friday morning right as I was waiting at my bus stop, totally forgetting that she actually had work that day and that the text stressed her out while she was there.

Then today (Saturday), everything exploded. I was just sitting on the couch when she walked up to me, and the second I saw her face, I knew it was bad. She looked at me with pure disgust. Because of that joke she made the other day, I was a little worried. She started saying I was "confused" and using religious guilt trips about how this is what happens when you walk away from God. My little sister was in the same room the whole time just on her laptop playing games, and my fraternal twin sister—who is also queer—was also in the room when it happened.

Later on, my little sister told me she didn't feel bad for me, she only felt bad for mom. Then my twin sister started tone-policing me in our group chat, telling me I was being "mean" just because I wasn't being fake-nice back to our mom while she was literally invalidating my existence. It sucked because she is queer too and was right there in the room, but she still turned on me in the chat. I felt pathetic, shaking and crying in my room, totally regretting that I ever said anything.

But then a few hours later, my mom called me back upstairs to talk again. It turns out she actually spent that time self-reflecting. She completely turned things around, apologized, and said she realized she was wrong. She connected it to her own childhood trauma about being forced to go to a mosque when she didn't want to, and said she realized religion is personal and she won't force the church rule on me anymore. She even said that knowing I’m LGBT makes her think completely differently about the whole queer community now, and she wants to rebuild our relationship.

Honestly, I'm glad it ended on a good note, but the emotional hangover is destroying me. My brain keeps replaying that first look of absolute disgust she gave me on the couch, and I keep crying thinking about it. She wouldn't have said those things or looked at me like that if she didn't mean it in the moment. It’s like I can’t just accept the apology yet.

Has anyone else experienced a parent completely flipping scripts like this in a matter of hours? How do you cope with the trauma of the bad reaction when they’re suddenly trying to be supportive now?

So I officially came out to my mom, and I am currently sitting in my room experiencing the most insane emotional whiplash ever.

For context, I’m omnisexual, demisexual, genderfaerflux, gendervague (they/she), and an agnostic atheist. A few days ago, my mom and I had a conversation where she basically said she doesn't care if we're gay as long as we're healthy, and she even said I didn't have to go to church anymore (just me, since my siblings are still Christian). But during that same conversation, she randomly made a joke like, "if ur lesbian or something I'll actually kick u out, I don't want u in my house." Her tone was super serious and me and my twin sister were both like wtf that's not ok, but then she claimed she was just joking. Because of the other stuff she said though, I still thought she was in a much softer place than she used to be.

I spent forever writing this super detailed coming-out script explaining my identity, how my neurodivergence connects to my gender, and setting boundaries about religion. I sent it on Friday morning right as I was waiting at my bus stop, totally forgetting that she actually had work that day and that the text stressed her out while she was there.

Then today (Saturday), everything exploded. I was just sitting on the couch when she walked up to me, and the second I saw her face, I knew it was bad. She looked at me with pure disgust. Because of that joke she made the other day, I was a little worried. She started saying I was "confused" and using religious guilt trips about how this is what happens when you walk away from God. My little sister was in the same room the whole time just on her laptop playing games, and my fraternal twin sister—who is also queer—was also in the room when it happened.

Later on, my little sister told me she didn't feel bad for me, she only felt bad for mom. Then my twin sister started tone-policing me in our group chat, telling me I was being "mean" just because I wasn't being fake-nice back to our mom while she was literally invalidating my existence. It sucked because she is queer too and was right there in the room, but she still turned on me in the chat. I felt pathetic, shaking and crying in my room, totally regretting that I ever said anything.

But then a few hours later, my mom called me back upstairs to talk again. It turns out she actually spent that time self-reflecting. She completely turned things around, apologized, and said she realized she was wrong. She connected it to her own childhood trauma about being forced to go to a mosque when she didn't want to, and said she realized religion is personal and she won't force the church rule on me anymore. She even said that knowing I’m LGBT makes her think completely differently about the whole queer community now, and she wants to rebuild our relationship.

Honestly, I'm glad it ended on a good note, but the emotional hangover is destroying me. My brain keeps replaying that first look of absolute disgust she gave me on the couch, and I keep crying thinking about it. She wouldn't have said those things or looked at me like that if she didn't mean it in the moment. It’s like I can’t just accept the apology yet.

Has anyone else experienced a parent completely flipping scripts like this in a matter of hours? How do you cope with the trauma of the bad reaction when they’re suddenly trying to be supportive now?

So I officially came out to my mom, and I am currently sitting in my room experiencing the most insane emotional whiplash ever.

For context, I’m omnisexual, demisexual, genderfaerflux, gendervague (they/she), and an agnostic atheist. A few days ago, my mom and I had a conversation where she basically said she doesn't care if we're gay as long as we're healthy, and she even said I didn't have to go to church anymore (just me, since my siblings are still Christian). But during that same conversation, she randomly made a joke like, "if ur lesbian or something I'll actually kick u out, I don't want u in my house." Her tone was super serious and me and my twin sister were both like wtf that's not ok, but then she claimed she was just joking. Because of the other stuff she said though, I still thought she was in a much softer place than she used to be.

I spent forever writing this super detailed coming-out script explaining my identity, how my neurodivergence connects to my gender, and setting boundaries about religion. I sent it on Friday morning right as I was waiting at my bus stop, totally forgetting that she actually had work that day and that the text stressed her out while she was there.

Then today (Saturday), everything exploded. I was just sitting on the couch when she walked up to me, and the second I saw her face, I knew it was bad. She looked at me with pure disgust. Because of that joke she made the other day, I was a little worried. She started saying I was "confused" and using religious guilt trips about how this is what happens when you walk away from God. My little sister was in the same room the whole time just on her laptop playing games, and my fraternal twin sister—who is also queer—was also in the room when it happened.

Later on, my little sister told me she didn't feel bad for me, she only felt bad for mom. Then my twin sister started tone-policing me in our group chat, telling me I was being "mean" just because I wasn't being fake-nice back to our mom while she was literally invalidating my existence. It sucked because she is queer too and was right there in the room, but she still turned on me in the chat. I felt pathetic, shaking and crying in my room, totally regretting that I ever said anything.

But then a few hours later, my mom called me back upstairs to talk again. It turns out she actually spent that time self-reflecting. She completely turned things around, apologized, and said she realized she was wrong. She connected it to her own childhood trauma about being forced to go to a mosque when she didn't want to, and said she realized religion is personal and she won't force the church rule on me anymore. She even said that knowing I’m LGBT makes her think completely differently about the whole queer community now, and she wants to rebuild our relationship.

Honestly, I'm glad it ended on a good note, but the emotional hangover is destroying me. My brain keeps replaying that first look of absolute disgust she gave me on the couch, and I keep crying thinking about it. She wouldn't have said those things or looked at me like that if she didn't mean it in the moment. It’s like I can’t just accept the apology yet.

Has anyone else experienced a parent completely flipping scripts like this in a matter of hours? How do you cope with the trauma of the bad reaction when they’re suddenly trying to be supportive now?

So I officially came out to my mom, and I am currently sitting in my room experiencing the most insane emotional whiplash ever.

For context, I’m omnisexual, demisexual, genderfaerflux, gendervague (they/she), and an agnostic atheist. A few days ago, my mom and I had a conversation where she basically said she doesn't care if we're gay as long as we're healthy, and she even said I didn't have to go to church anymore (just me, since my siblings are still Christian). But during that same conversation, she randomly made a joke like, "if ur lesbian or something I'll actually kick u out, I don't want u in my house." Her tone was super serious and me and my twin sister were both like wtf that's not ok, but then she claimed she was just joking. Because of the other stuff she said though, I still thought she was in a much softer place than she used to be.

I spent forever writing this super detailed coming-out script explaining my identity, how my neurodivergence connects to my gender, and setting boundaries about religion. I sent it on Friday morning right as I was waiting at my bus stop, totally forgetting that she actually had work that day and that the text stressed her out while she was there.

Then today (Saturday), everything exploded. I was just sitting on the couch when she walked up to me, and the second I saw her face, I knew it was bad. She looked at me with pure disgust. Because of that joke she made the other day, I was a little worried. She started saying I was "confused" and using religious guilt trips about how this is what happens when you walk away from God. My little sister was in the same room the whole time just on her laptop playing games, and my fraternal twin sister—who is also queer—was also in the room when it happened.

Later on, my little sister told me she didn't feel bad for me, she only felt bad for mom. Then my twin sister started tone-policing me in our group chat, telling me I was being "mean" just because I wasn't being fake-nice back to our mom while she was literally invalidating my existence. It sucked because she is queer too and was right there in the room, but she still turned on me in the chat. I felt pathetic, shaking and crying in my room, totally regretting that I ever said anything.

But then a few hours later, my mom called me back upstairs to talk again. It turns out she actually spent that time self-reflecting. She completely turned things around, apologized, and said she realized she was wrong. She connected it to her own childhood trauma about being forced to go to a mosque when she didn't want to, and said she realized religion is personal and she won't force the church rule on me anymore. She even said that knowing I’m LGBT makes her think completely differently about the whole queer community now, and she wants to rebuild our relationship.

Honestly, I'm glad it ended on a good note, but the emotional hangover is destroying me. My brain keeps replaying that first look of absolute disgust she gave me on the couch, and I keep crying thinking about it. She wouldn't have said those things or looked at me like that if she didn't mean it in the moment. It’s like I can’t just accept the apology yet.

Has anyone else experienced a parent completely flipping scripts like this in a matter of hours? How do you cope with the trauma of the bad reaction when they’re suddenly trying to be supportive now?

So back in June I decided to come out to some old school friends who are super Christian. I used to be Christian too but left that environment, and I'm currently omnisexual/demisexual/genderfaerflux/gendervague/agnostic atheist. I had a feeling it might go south, so I added my friend Nix to the group chat for backup, and my sister (who is also queer but Christian) was in there too.

Izzy took it fine, but Danielle completely ignored me and straight up blocked me at first. But then she actually unblocked me just to drop this massive wall of texts into the old group chat, which was honestly so unhinged. She kept doing the classic passive-aggressive "I love you and support you but I don't support your lifestyle choice" thing, acting like she was somehow superior and knew more than me. Then she straight up said homosexuality is a "mental illness" but tried to shield herself by saying "it's just my opinion."

Because she was being so incredibly condescending, arrogant, and acting like her religious beliefs were absolute facts, me and Nix had enough. We started hitting her back with actual logic, science, and historical facts about the Bible timeline to totally dismantle her arguments. The second she realized she was losing, she tried to casually back out by calling it a "nice debate" and trying to save face. I literally called her out and texted "good on you backing out," and her polite mask completely slipped. She got super bitter, told me I was a waste of time, told me to "find my way to God," and blocked me again. But I just texted "I loved u, bye" and shut it down.

The wildest plot twist was my sister. She literally tone-policed me at the end, telling me to "stop" and asking why I was being "mean this whole time" just because I wasn't being fake-nice back to Danielle. Like... she completely ignored the fact that Danielle called me mentally ill, but got mad at MY tone? I told her she could defend a homophobic person if she wanted to, kicked everyone out, and deleted the whole GC.

Honestly, I'm just glad to be out of that toxic Christian school bubble. I ranted to my current group chat and my friends completely had my back. One of my friends who is Muslim even pointed out that Danielle is just projecting her own weak, insecure faith because she's terrified of anyone challenging her worldview.

It's just crazy looking back at how much drama people will create just because you want to live your truth. Glad that chapter is officially closed.

This post doesn't show how horrible and toxic Danielle was being, but there's too many screenshots to send and I doubt anyone will read them lol.

Idk if this is fit for r/atheism? I've posted it in r/lgbt and r/omnisexual too

So back in June I decided to come out to some old school friends who are super Christian. I used to be Christian too but left that environment, and I'm currently omnisexual/demisexual/genderfaerflux/gendervague/agnostic atheist. I had a feeling it might go south, so I added my friend Nix to the group chat for backup, and my sister (who is also queer but Christian) was in there too.

Izzy took it fine, but Danielle completely ignored me and straight up blocked me at first. But then she actually unblocked me just to drop this massive wall of texts into the old group chat, which was honestly so unhinged. She kept doing the classic passive-aggressive "I love you and support you but I don't support your lifestyle choice" thing, acting like she was somehow superior and knew more than me. Then she straight up said homosexuality is a "mental illness" but tried to shield herself by saying "it's just my opinion."

Because she was being so incredibly condescending, arrogant, and acting like her religious beliefs were absolute facts, me and Nix had enough. We started hitting her back with actual logic, science, and historical facts about the Bible timeline to totally dismantle her arguments. The second she realized she was losing, she tried to casually back out by calling it a "nice debate" and trying to save face. I literally called her out and texted "good on you backing out," and her polite mask completely slipped. She got super bitter, told me I was a waste of time, told me to "find my way to God," and blocked me again. But I just texted "I loved u, bye" and shut it down.

The wildest plot twist was my sister. She literally tone-policed me at the end, telling me to "stop" and asking why I was being "mean this whole time" just because I wasn't being fake-nice back to Danielle. Like... she completely ignored the fact that Danielle called me mentally ill, but got mad at MY tone? I told her she could defend a homophobic person if she wanted to, kicked everyone out, and deleted the whole GC.

Honestly, I'm just glad to be out of that toxic Christian school bubble. I ranted to my current group chat and my friends completely had my back. One of my friends who is Muslim even pointed out that Danielle is just projecting her own weak, insecure faith because she's terrified of anyone challenging her worldview.

It's just crazy looking back at how much drama people will create just because you want to live your truth. Glad that chapter is officially closed.

This post doesn't show how horrible and toxic Danielle was being, but there's too many screenshots to send and I doubt anyone will read them lol.

So basically, to me kissing is an act of romantic attraction and not sexual attraction. Idk why it just feels like that and I lowky feel like a fake demi bc apparently it's sexual?

Ok so I'm 15 years old and I can barely remember my primary school years, like at all. When people talk abt primary school and things that happened, I can't think of anything myself unless someone prompts me very very descriptively, it's basically just like "yeah I used to be little I guess"

I hate this so much, my parents aren't exactly great and I wanted to make sure I never forget what it's like to be a kid so if I have my own kids I can be a good parent, but I can't even remember what school was like a few years ago. I don't want to turn out like my parents. I'm scared. I wish there was a cure. What am I gonna tell my kids about my youth?

I'm also worried that once me and my friends go to uni, they're gonna end up as dust like all my past friends from schools or cities I moved away from, just facts of them being my friend, nothing else. I struggle to keep relationships with people I don't see, also being a part of why my old friendships have faded away so fast. I really like this new "set" of friends, they're my first friends where they're still my friends for more than a year, every other "set" I moved away, they moved away, or we just didn't last. I'm so scared bro I need these friends.

I know I'm probably not alone but still, anyone relate?

I fucking hate SDAM. Before I used to see some of the advantages and hold on to them but they are so significantly outweighed by the disadvantages, it's not worth holding onto them anymore

Edit: I know SDAM isn't progressive or anything, but due to my very poor eating habits, it does worsen for me

Today in English our teacher was going over what our creative writing test at the end of the term.. and guess what... ITS DESCRIPTIVE WRITING 😭. Then me and an another classmate who also has aphantasia went tk the teacher after class and explained why it's unfair and why we may need extra resources to be prepared, and thankfully he was open minded, told us he'd heard of aphantasia but didn't think anyone in his classes had it, but also that he would try to help us out extra so we are set up for success like the rest of rhe class ❤️

Honestly, it's a shame aphantasia is so unknown and that a lot of school assignments or tests or what not are unfairly challenging for aphants, but I'm grateful to have teachers like my English teacher.

Edit: i have multi-sensory aphantasia, which is for every sense. Also: The issue isn't just my imagination; it’s how it's taught. School prompts constantly tell you to "close your eyes and visualize." I never understood why others found this so easy until I discovered aphantasia. Realizing this meant I had to catch up on my own and figure out alternative, non-visual ways to strengthen my writing, yet I'm still behind, hence the point of my post

Final Edit: Hey everyone, I want to apologize. Reading through the comments and taking a step back, I realize I was majorly gatekeeping and generalizing my own experiences onto the whole community. I got defensive because I was stressed about an upcoming test, and I accidentally conflated my multi-sensory aphantasia and SDAM as a barrier for everyone, rather than just recognizing it as my own personal struggle. Thank you to those who offered actual advice and workarounds, and I'm sorry for shutting down your experiences. I'm going to take a break and focus on preparing for my test.

Ok so, lately I've been on my phone a lot, especially at night, and my mom saw my screen time and took my phone away for a little. I thought she was gonna check my phone but all my windows were still there. BUT. I had a bunch of r/lgbt notifications and I was super worried she was gonna see. My mom is Christian and queerphobic, and I have thought of coming out to her before, but now that I was close to being outed im thinking I should get it over and come with so nothing happens accidentally. Let me know if you want to see my script I have prepared and I'll add it to the post body.

Ok so I'm an agnostic atheist, and whenever I make a post and specify this, people always say "you can't be agnostic and atheist at the same time!!"

Agnostic and atheist are two different binaries!

Atheism vs. Theism is a binary of belief: Do you actively believe a deity exists? Yes or No.

Agnosticism vs. Gnosticism is a binary of knowledge: Can humans definitively prove or know the truth? Yes or No.

Knowledge and belief are different! So if I'm an agnostic atheist, I KNOW that humans cannot prove the existence of a higher power or an ultimate truth (agnostic), but I personally BELIEVE that there is no higher power (atheist)

People have full on arguments over A DICTIONARY DEFINITION

Someone even said " agnostic is when you believe in a god but not a higher power"

A god is a higher power?? That's just a theist.

I genuinely thought this was obvious, but apparently not