(Redacted with ChatGPT cuz I am too lazy)

Hi everyone,
I’m a 23-year-old guy from France, and as far as I can tell, I’ve had complete aphantasia and complete anendophasia since birth.
I have absolutely no voluntary mental imagery. If I close my eyes and try something like the “red apple test,” I see nothing at all — just darkness. I can know what an apple looks like and think about its characteristics, but there is no visual image in my mind.
I also have no inner voice / inner speech whatsoever. I’ve never “heard” my own voice in my head, and I can’t mentally hear other sounds either. For example, I’ve never experienced a song literally playing in my head or being able to hear music internally.
The interesting exception is dreaming. I do dream visually, the images can be very clear while I’m dreaming, and I can remember my dreams afterwards. So apparently my brain is capable of producing visual experiences during sleep, just not voluntarily while I’m awake.
This has been my normal experience for as long as I can remember, so for most of my life I didn’t even realize other people were genuinely seeing images or hearing a voice in their minds.
From what I’ve read, having both of these traits so completely seems relatively uncommon. I’ve never met anyone like this in real life, and I’d really like to.
Is anyone here both completely aphantasic and completely anauralic/anendophasic?
Sometimes I feel pretty alone knowing that almost everyone around me seems to experience an entire internal sensory world that I’ve never experienced.

Are there any aphant movie actors? If seems to me actors must have a great ability to imagine and visualize. Like, with CGI and green screens they can't see the alien or ghost or dinosaur that they are interacting with. Or staring into the camera as if it's your boyfriend breaking up with you or your dieing mother, shedding a tear. 

As a total aphant I can't even imagine how actors do this.

Do yall have dreams? Or remember them? cz idk i literally dont dream and everytime i bring it up to someone theyre js like "oh you probably js dont remember them" but I'll go to sleep l, then just wake up and theres nothing in between that, and its not like its a once in a while thing, It's every night. The only time i actually can remember something is i guess when its a nightmare? But thats like once a year or every few months. I cant even remember the last time that happened. And i cant see shit when i try to picture stuff in my head either. idk if that means i have aphantasia or not im js CONFUSED

I was on my way back from school when I realised something. I "saw" green and pink. It felt like a filter. When I closed my eyes, I could see a floating spot of Cosmo green and when I looked around, I could see the same spot in soft Wanda pink.

I realised that I've been able to experience similar things when I happen to stare at a sunny sunset a little too long. So naturally, I searched it up on Google and apparently it's called "after images" and it's because I accidentally, temporarily "bleached" my retinas or smth.

I'm slightly aware of this effect since it was mentioned in my intro to psych class but how similar is it to "using your mind's eye"? or "seeing images"?

Hi everyone! I’m an MSc Psychology student at Birkbeck, University of London, and I’m currently recruiting participants with aphantasia for my dissertation research.

The study is looking at how aphantasia may affect visual imagery and cognition. If you have aphantasia, think you might have it, or relate to the questions on the poster, I’d really love to hear from you.

The study involves an in-person behavioural experiment in London, so participants would need to be able to attend a testing session here.

If you’re interested in taking part or would like some more information, please feel free to email me at the address on the poster or send me a message.

Thank you! And please feel free to share this with anyone who might be interested 😊

https://preview.redd.it/btgn3hnfu6kh1.jpg?width=1688&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7a6f2170053d3c040c6db08d48286b2d476bc3c8

Title says it all. I've taken multiple tests and also just life experience: I legit cannot forget a face. If someone bags my groceries once and I see them at a rave 6 years later I'll remember them (an actual experience I've had). BUT I have full on aphantasia, don't see sh*t in my minds eye.

Also, fwiw: My dad has a photographic memory and aphantasia...

Even after reading, I’m still not sure if I have aphantasia. A test was to close my eyes and picture a ball being pushed off a table. I close my eyes and I only see black, no outlines, no colors, but I know exactly what that looks like so I know what I’m thinking about when I’m trying to picture it, but no outlines or any picture is showing. I can go through my morning and reply what I did when I close my eyes and think about it, but it’s more just me thinking about what I did not actually picturing it and being able to go through it like that. Hope I’m making sense lol

So this is gonna be a long, rambling post. I don’t really know why I’m sharing. Let’s see where this goes.

I recently lost my mother. This Wednesday she would have turned 95 so she lived a long, fruitful like. I’m trying to understand more about myself with how I’ve dealt with her loss compared to my siblings.

Let’s start with some honesty… I haven’t been devastated by my mom’s passing.

Well, not to the extent that that I believe most experience. Definitely nothing like my siblings.

I haven’t really cried about it. I haven’t thought about my mom anymore often that normal. The realization that I’ll never see my mother again does seem “odd” to me. Nothing more.

This is sort of the same experience I had with the passing of my grandfather and my father. The only two other significant people in my life that have passed. I’ve always felt like I should’ve mourned their passing more than I did. I now feel the same way about my mom’s passing.

To be honest, I’m not bothered by this. What I’m really bothered by is the thought that I don’t have the ability to mourn. What if my daughter passes… or my wife? These two people are intwined in my life. Will I mourn them? Will I be devastated? Or will I just trek on with life? Would that mean I didn’t love them?

I wasn’t too close to my mom. My brother cared for her; she lived with him. Maybe this allowed me to be distant. My parents were immigrants and as I’ve come to understand that’s the norm for many immigrant parents, they were providers but were really not emotionally available. I don’t fault them for this. It is what it is.

When my mom had her stroke… when she passed, I almost felt like showing any emotion would be phony. Seriously. Like I had no right. I had every opportunity to call and visit my mom when she was alive but I didn’t. I had no desire to. For me to now feel sad seems dishonest. Again, I’m not saying this is why I’m not devastated but it is how I feel. I also have tried very hard to understand why I had no desire to connect with my mom but I have never come to any conclusions.

I don’t say this for sympathy. It’s how I truly feel. And I don’t think it’s because I’m suppressing my true feeling. However, I sort of feel like I’m incapable of caring for someone… if I’m not sad about my mom passing, does that make me a psychopath?

I really am super fearful that I won’t mourn if someone truly close to passes. Someone that I believe I truly care about.

There’s a ton here to unpack. Lots of other thoughts. But let’s start with this.

Hi, I have aphantasia like I'm assuming most people do on this subreddit. I also have been known to have really poor short term and long term memory. Which I think may be due to cancer treatment but I'm not too sure anymore? I've been thinking about it and I feel like aphantasia has more of a part in it than I think. I find myself having an incredibly difficult time telling memories apart from fabrications and or making details out in said memories due to the fact I can't see them. Sometimes it feels like my mind has been wiped blank from previous years and it has caused me a lot of depression. I have to write things down all off the time because I just get myself back into mental spirals that I previously forgot about. I lack a lot of confidence in my ability to do pretty much anything, I was just curious if anyone can relate and or if there are studies or evidence in such issues. Thanks.

Im pretty sure that I have aphantasia. For example, if i try to picture an apple i just see black, but i know what an apple looks like and i can conceptualise it.

So can people imagine things and see it like its a picture or something?

Edit: i just thought of something, i do see clear as day in my dreams, does this mean i dont have aphantasia? if not is that kinda how people "see" things in their mind?

While I see absolutely nothing while awake and only think in words, I see images in my dreams and also see images in my mind as I'm falling asleep.

I'm wondering if the rest of you are like this?

I feel like the very act of philosophizing to oneself seems nigh impossible unless you do so by talking out loud. Can you do this and, if so, how do you do this?

I understand this doesn’t apply to every person with aphantasia. This is a question for those without an inner monologue.

This is kind of a weird and specific question but here it goes-

I don't have aphantasia but my girlfriend does. She recently got a job as a manager and is having a really hard time setting boundaries for herself with work.

In these kinds of instances, what I would do is imagine a container and put everything having to do with work in it for the weekend and pull it all out on Monday. She can't visualize a container and this is really affecting her mental health. I feel useless to help her.

Just wondering if any of you have some helpful tips for getting yourself to stop thinking about work when you're not there that don't involve visualizations. She also doesn't have an internal monologue.

Random one - while I was in a therapy session, my new therapist was reading my notes and mentioned about aphantasia, this lead to the session going a bit random and off topic, which turned into him asking me random questions. So it's got me thinking... what's the weirdest question you've been asked about this? Secondly, I want to ask some questions back to her, as she's now fascinated and wants to do some digging into things, so what should I ask her next? Is there anything that anyone could think of that I should mention? As I don't know what to ask.

Thanks for reading :)

UPDATE: thanks for all the replies, some great ideas of what to ask here. Turns out she's doing a PhD specialising in memory and now seeing how people with aphantasia cope. Interesting to see what happens. I will update again if she can find any answers to our questions :)

I've always felt out of place talking to people about how listening to music makes me feel. When I was in middle school, the music teacher was telling us when we were performing a specific song, she could see a ball of light growing bigger and bigger. I thought she must have synesthesia, because the concept sounded completely foreign to me. This was shortly before I discovered I have aphantasia, and I later learned that I possibly have synesthesia. Music does have color to me, I just can't see it.

However, she might not have synesthesia. What she was seeing wasn't a color, it was symbolic imagery that captured her feelings. I assume her experience is not uncommon. What alienates me so much is not that I don't see things, but that I don't feel things. Or at least, not in the same way that others do. The lack of a visual imagination doesn't necessarily equate to not having emotional responses to things. Considering the aphantasia-alexithymia link, perhaps that does play into the reason after all.

Does anyone else feel like they respond differently to music/art? Have you found ways to bridge the gap with others in conversations about it?

Is the inability to remember faces of those you see infrequently a sign of dyslexia or not? I suffer from both so just wondering.

Question for aphants or possible more aphants + no inner monologue.

I know that I spend a lot of time self reflecting and strategizing in my life to feel safe. To me it seems like if you don't spend a lot of time ruminating on how things went or how you can manipulate the future you will be in great danger. It feels like strategizing outcomes and conversations, visualizing possible futures and actions was how I felt safe.

Do you guys feel like people just loved you growing up, you were provided for and everything was always just going to work out?

*Edit: This post is written from the perspective of a non-aphant to aphants. I am talking about myself being the unsafe manipulator and that's why I would develop those skills. My theory is that aphants would be more comfortable just 'going with the flow.'

*Edit 2: I just want to say thank you to everyone who responded. This has been one of the most enlightening internet interactions I've ever had. As someone with hyperphatasia learning about aphantasia shook my world just as much as some of you. I've learned that the way I see the world, visualizing things all day every day, changing my surroundings, is also rare. I thought my whole life that everyone else just ignored it. I'm not just learning about you. I'm learning about me. There is no where else I could have had these conversations and I am extremely grateful.

Also I have changed my mind. What we call congenital aphantasia likely has nothing to do with trauma from the responses. I have other ideas, but I think we're going to need actual scientific research to come in and fill the gaps. Until then just learning about the differences in the way we think I think will change the world. I don't think we are so different in the ways it counts like basic human decency. I don't think aphantasia is a disability. I think it's part of the neurodiversity that makes our species so successful.

I also recently learned I have ADHD, something I wish we knew about when I was a kid. Now maybe I can communicate better and be more considerate of the possible broad spectrum of inner worlds. Even if it doesn't change the world it has changed my world. Thank you sincerely.

I have aphantasia, but I always wanted to be an artist. I never developed that and have no skill to speak of. However, I have a lot of ideas for art that I want to create. I don’t know what to do to be able to translate these ideas onto a canvas. Are there any aphantasic artists with advice on where to start? Do I just need to start with the basics of how to draw and hope that I can eventually translate my ideas into actual drawings? I’m unsure how I would be able to draw original content signed I won’t have a reference photo even if I do develop drawing skilled.

Im trynna figure out if i have aphantasia or not cuz i dont get a lot of visuals on psychedelics and apparently aphantasia is the main cause of that. I can imagine things pretty easily but i dont actually see it. like when i close my eyes its still black but i can imagine stuff. do people actually see stuff with their eyes closed as in they dont just see the darkness of their eyelids they actually see shit? i feel like this is just miscommunication but idk

Hey so after 18 years of life I was talking to some friends about imagination and I realized that I can barely voluntarily imagine stuff and even if I do, All I see is darkness and a weird foggy shilouette that barely resembles the object in mind. I believe this fits in the definition of an aphant, but the thing is, while reading books I unconsciously imagine the scenarios and characters, sometimes even moving, but if I were to want to do this voluntarily it's impossible. Additionally, while dreaming I believe I do see both colours and details. What do you guys think?

edit: I know it's weird and stupid, but also I am not sure if I am seeing it the way other people see it, or I'm just thinking that I can