I go to saint George quite often and have no clue where the weirdo niche is, I'm assuming there has to be some scene of peculiar people selling peculiar things. Also any cute stores? Let me know!
Hi, I'm a cancer survivor of bone cancer. I lost my leg due to it and had to undergo a rigorous chemo treatment. I saw many things during my time in the hospital, I saw how children suffered and died in their hospital beds. I saw how legislation and corruption put children dying of cancer on the back burner and I saw how society never took a second to think about these kids. I myself remember thinking I was going to die because I had contracted RSV, I remember my anger before that moment when I had found out the mask mandated was lifted for the hospital. How my mind raced thinking about how many immunocompromised kids would get sick, me being one of them. I'm here by sheer luck and by the care of many health care providers, but never have I felt more neglected and alienated from society. I often think about how many children have been put through unnecessary pain, surgery and treatment because of budget cuts. How many times have children died because the research they needed never got funded. How many kids died before they could even be diagnosed. Its sadistic. People are told to have more kids by society instead of taking care of the ones they have, never stopping to think. My mother never stopped to think that her child may develop cancer before she decided to get pregnant with me, its not to say I want to die but this thought never even grazes people's minds. It's difficult living my life and many others live an even more difficult one, not because of our disabilities, no, because society was never made for us. We used to die early, and then be replaced by new offspring. But it isn't the 18th century anymore, yet instead of seeing this acceptance, us and many other minorities receive cruelties. People would rather have a new kid then save the one who is already dying of cancer. This isn't all to say that disabled people and cancer survivors suffer, I'm not preaching some eugenics adjacent belief. I'm saying that those who are unfortunate enough to be put in such a situation aren't supported because people can't stop having new kids, and this world wasn't made for our condition in mind.
For almost all of my life since I was young I have believed that having children is wrong and not something for me. I feel as though going through puberty really highlighted this discomfort I have with the idea. One example is when I was 12 I was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer and when I was told that I may suffer reproductive harm due to the chemo, I was delighted by the idea that my uterus wouldn't work. To my dismay months after chemo stopped, my period started. I get so uncomfortable with thinking of myself as a "woman" but I can't tell if this is simply fueled by the connotation that comes with that, the idea of being a mother or even being capable of birthing. I don't gain discomfort from people calling me a girl or using she/her pronouns. I just find this bitter distain for seeing myself in that way, and honestly I'm someone that believes gender is a social construct anyway. When someone fights back on my belief and says, "well maybe you will change your mind" I feel like I grow more of a disconnect from my gender. It just feels wrong that I even have the anatomy for it, like how I see myself It shouldn't even be possible. I don't know I'm just curious if anyone else has this internal battle? I'm also not someone who strictly dresses masculine I mostly present feminine but I have gone through phases of my life where I have presented that way, and I currently do possess space in many male dominated areas. Which in turn throughout my childhood has led people to call me a man, or insinuate I'm trans. Especially when I had cancer, sometimes I think that experience of being so disconnected from my body has led me to feel this lack of gender identity in a way?