r/antinatalism

Hi good fellow people! I wish you a peaceful morning!

I am an antinatalist since i was about 15 years old. I realized at very young age that human life is about struggles, suffering and just paying the bills. So I decided since that I love my “children” so much that i will never bring them on Earth. I still have same opinion.

Also, i am not into adopting either. I do understand that helping inocent kids giving them a better life its a good human trait, but I don’t agree to complicate my life for the rest of it for someone I don’t even know that had 1 minute of pleasure. I believe if you made a child, that should be your responsibility!

I am 30F and my fiancé is 50M. Please don’t judge the difference in age cause i never have been into men my age or closer to my age.

We are in the relationship 8 years now and we have a peaceful, happy relationship. We love, respect and support each other. We are stable in every aspect in our lives.

My fiancé already has a son, soon to be 18. For context i love his son and i see him as my best friend. We have a good relationship and I am grateful that he has already a son.

Now, i want to ask you.

Did you regret after certain age being child free?

I knew from little girl that I never wanted to have a child. Still to this day i still have same feeling, but sometimes thinking about this i am afraid I would regret it. What is you your thoughts on this?

It's so strange to me. It's perfectly understandable to not want to work hard, and no one deserves suffering for simply not liking the effort. Because if you don't choose to be born, why would you "deserve" suffering that came with life?

I know the probabilities of success are very low, but still, it’s an interesting idea to explore. How could we mobilize votes and the public opinion in our favor? We would have a huge reaction from the dominant natalists. How could that war be won? And if it was won and antinatalists came to power, what would they do?

Like I personally believe that any form of bringing more humans into the world is selfish, but surrogacy is a different level of strange to me. I understand not wanting to give birth, but if one truly wanted to raise, nurture, and love a child, why not adopt someone who is already present and here? But no. The need to pass on one's special, amazing, and spectacular DNA remains strong, so why not have another woman carry and have your baby for you only for her to never see it again after that? It's also weird how surrogacy seems to be a common thing among celebrities and rich people.

I have a cousin who had a good job, she got married and simply threw it all away to have 2 kids. She has moved 8 times and is now living in my brother's basement with her husband because she needs time to find another place to rent. Her husband had a back injury and can't work, so both were left without any income. Basically she went from having income with no kids to a life where she has no income and 2 kids. And I think she plans to have more!

My point with this story is: Are we programmed to have kids ? Either by nature or god, is this something that is ingrained in us ? Is desire for sex with specific people just a means to an end (to have better kids or whatever) ?

It feels to me that those who decide to stay childfree like me and others, are basically fighting this programming. Maybe in the past very few people thought about it, I don't know.

By the way, my cousin was heavily advised by her father not to give up her job to have kids but didn't listen and had them anyway. And I see many people I consider rational giving in to the desire to have kids as well.

I noticed that most antinatalists appear to be 30 years old or older. Is there a decent number of antinatalists who are 18-23 here? I think that there are more young female antinatalists than young male antinatalists, but still not a lot of young ones overall. Maybe I'm off. I wonder why it seems this way.

Can anyone else relate?
When we compare our lives to the time we’ve spent not having been born and the time we’ll spend being dead, it’s basically just a blip. If I’m right about what happens after death, it will be as if we never even existed at all.
So, what difference would it have made if I truly never existed at all? Thinking about the void is only scary because I was dragged out of it. If I was still in this void for all of eternity there would be no fear or despair about it. But because my time spent in this void is separated by this brief lifespan, I now have to not only deal with the burden of being human but also intense dread over my mortality.
This is why I don’t want to have kids. Why burden them with a fear of this void that they’re so comfortable in right now? Especially when their death may happen after a long and excruciating process?

I am kinda new to antinatalism. I agree with the base argument, but could someone recommend me some antinatalist philosophers, or books? And also could someone help me why this philosophy is valid and logical?

Thank you!

I’m just interested in this. I personally consider myself a Marxist because I think capitalism is a major source of suffering and if we can eradicate that, it’s easier for the people who already exist and will inevitably be brought into existence. As well as supporting environmental policies and animal rights. Marxists tend to dislike anti natlaism because they think it’s just ‘life bad not capitalism’ or think it’s linked to Thomas Malthus.
Interestingly there’s a philosopher called Philip mainlander who was an anti natalist socialist who argued that after a socialist revolution workers find out that life itself is the cause of suffering not just exploitation and so after the revolution they chose to go exctinct. Food for thought

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and everybody knows it. how the fuck people can breed facing the fact everyone suffers? i just cant get it. this is utterly offputting. still i cannot believe i suffer only due to being alive. the world is completly fucked up.

due to fact everybody suffers more or less, breeding is the more disgusting, because these people have suffered too and STILL have decided to have kids. THEY KNEW THAT THEIR KIDS WOULD SUFFER AND STILL MADE THEM. i have no words how inhumane this is.

and i know it has been said many times here before but it amazes me everyday. i swear.