u/GovernmentFeeling50

It is possible to be happy, but because of social pressure some people don’t fully confront their actual feelings and may describe themselves as happy to fit in.

In modern society, paths like the 9–5 work structure and having children are often treated as default life choices. Because of this normalization, people may stop questioning whether these choices actually align with their personal sense of happiness. Admitting that you are not happy can also be difficult in itself, which makes self-confrontation something many people avoid.

The way people try to understand their own happiness is often through introspection. Introspection is a deeper form of thinking where you reflect on your thoughts, emotions, and motivations rather than just reacting to them. However, it can be limited because much of human behavior is influenced by automatic and emotional processes rather than fully conscious reasoning.

Some people describe life as a gift, but the comparison is limited: with a gift, you can refuse it, return it, or choose not to accept the obligations that come with it. None of those options exist in the same way with being born.

Do you think most people genuinely evaluate their life choices, or do social norms shape the answer more than we realize?

If people systematically misjudge or overstate their happiness due to social pressure and cognitive bias, then using “most people are happy with life” as an argument against antinatalism becomes less reliable.

Research about social pressure and biased perception:

https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10902-025-00879-3

Research about social norms and life paths:

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S016726812400235X

Research about avoiding self confrontation:

https://www.nber.org/papers/w32208

First of all people can't consent to being born. Some argue that something that doesn't exist can't consent, but this proves the point rather than defeating it — you are creating a situation where consent is impossible and proceeding anyway. We generally consider it wrong to make irreversible decisions on behalf of others without their input, and bringing someone into existence is arguably the most consequential decision you can ever make for another person.

Secondly I don't believe there is a selfless reason to have your own child since the child has no say in being born. I do think adopting can be morally good if you do the parenting properly.

When people that are middle class or upper class in a richer country (for example the US) say "I want a child to help society" I think they can use the money they have and do a lot more direct good by giving it to charity or supporting other people. This is especially true for people with a high cost of living, because they need more money to meet their basic needs than someone who is poorer or lives in a poorer country. A child could be good for society as well, but it's a gamble — directly using your money to help people isn't.

Also other reasons against having children are:

(these reasons are circumstantial, even climate change, because some countries will be more affected than others)

* Inflation making it harder to meet basic needs

* People becoming more soft and narcissistic because of bad parents and social media, making it harder for children to navigate an increasingly toxic environment, especially as teens

* Climate change

* Bad genes (high risk of specific hard to live with diseases or disorders)

* Possibly not being a good parent

Sources for the negative influence of social media/iPad kids:

https://www.hhs.gov/surgeongeneral/reports-and-publications/youth-mental-health/social-media/index.html

https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/news/publications/health-matters/screen-time-and-the-developing-brain-are-ipad-kids-at-risk

Source about decreasing quality in parenting:

https://www.aftenposten.no/foreldreliv/i/pQv1yE/dagens-syn-paa-barneoppdragelse-gjoer-barna-mindre-robuste-mener-psykologl