r/exchristian

Forgive me if I'm out of line here but I used to have some fun jokes in the day but finding that being an atheist now allows me to have some over ruling of what was off limits. I hope you all are thriving in any way you wish having left your faith and have done so through deconstruction or otherwise.

For certain that many people who would very strong convictions in their faith had to deal with a lot of personal psychological turmoil if you have overcome it I applaud you

A few weeks ago I (22F) was at a party with some people who are in band with me at my college. I know the returning members pretty well, but not the freshmen, including Z (18F). The party is pretty chill, mostly we all hang out, play some games, and chat. At one point, pretty late in the night, Z says that without Jesus she wouldn't be alive right now. I half-jokingly respond that for me it was the exact opposite. She says something about how being Catholic is really important to her, I say I was raised Catholic and have a lot of issues because of it, and then she says "well, I hope you accept Jesus into your heart someday."

At the time, I don't think I responded at all, but I haven't been able to stop thinking about the interaction. What could I have said? I need to remain friendly with her but also want to convey that that phrase does not mean the same thing to me as it does to her, and that I am not interested in discussing religion with her further. Curious to hear your thoughts!

I feel like multiple tw tags apply to this so also anti gay stuff and purity culture i think?

Hi, this is probably gonna get long.

I'm seventeen and in senior year. I don't even know why I'm posting here but I guess I'm just kind of sick of only hearing from the same religious people.

I've been an extremely devout southern baptist all of my life. My parents always raised me as such and have always taught me right from wrong and about how not to give into the world. I got baptized first when I was six but I chose to rebaptize when I was thirteen because I didn't really remember the first time and don't think I fully understood it at the time, and I'd been backsliding in faith a bit. I signed my purity pledge when I was 13 aswell. I read the bible every morning, and pray throughout the day. If I've been struggling with sin or am convicted, I go up to the altar when altar call happens. If I keep falling into sin I repent and seek guidance from my pastor. I always carry a spare pocket bible with me incase anyone needs it. I often spread the gospel. I'm very active in my church community. I am very committed to Christ and serving him, and I am grateful every day for his forgiveness and grace.

Recently I started senior year. I live in the south in a rural-ish area, it's a Christian area and I have a strong church family. my teachers share seating plans sometimes, (they aren't super creative lol) but we often end up seated around the same people in multiple classes. The teachers will usually pair us up for paired/group projects with the person we're sitting next to since they don't want us talking to friends. They pair us up with people we don't know or like so we don't talk. They're pretty strict in these rules.

So this is where the problem starts. I'm seated next to this guy (I'll call him J for this) in APenglish lang and AP gov. I'm also paired with him for projects since I'm next to him. There are a lot more projects this year that are paired products with shared grading, because my school is trying a more hands on method this year.

J is a stereotypical punk and also is openly gay. He has a mohawk, often wears skirts just to mess with people (in his own words), wears makeup and just generally looks inappropriate. I try not to judge too much on appearance tho, but I didn’t think he's a good influence.

Pretty early on we had a lot of homework and there wasn't really a choice other than studying together outside of school, and we have to study way later in the evening because I have football practice. we both take study hall but not the same period. we've been doing our work, but there really wasn't enough time in the day, so we ended up just doing all of our homework while studying, in addition to the group stuff. J lives about a half hour away from me plus we can help eachother with the work outside of group stuff we struggle with, so it just made sense. Anyway it's ended up with him just staying the night a lot, because we're doing work for a while and usually just fall asleep on the floor at some point when we're working.

I've been praying for him of course and I've also asked him about his religious practices on multiple occasions. The times I asked if he prays or goes to church, he's just laughed. I don't think he thought I was serious at first. I've told him that Jesus loves him and can bring peace and told him my testimony, and he was polite but not receptive at all. I've asked him if he wants to attend a service at my church a few times, but he's declined. he's pretty insistent that I can do that i want but he "doesn't want a God to follow."

A few weeks after school started so about a month-ish ago we started forming some sort of casual friendship, mainly because we were spending so much time doing work together and often talking late into the night. He's asked me some stuff about Christianity, but mainly stuff about "how do you justify the harms of it." I've asked him stuff about why he chooses the lifestyle he does. We've also been talking about our lives and he told me about his past. A year and a half ago he'd been addicted to adderall and witnessed a friend's opioid overdose. He was really casual about it and told me he's clean now. I hate to say it but I honestly have been doubting a bit why God would cause suffering for people and how that's justified and why he would let it happen. I asked him about that which I feel really guilty about and he told me about how religion is often used as an excuse for bad things in the world, which I think but I feel like I have been shaken a bit.

We've become fairly close friends and have been hanging out outside of studying sometimes, he's actually really nice and I feel really bad but I have been doubting things a bit more. I asked him why he chooses a homosexual lifestyle and he told me it isn't a choice, and I honestly don't know what to think. I told him some about my doubts and how Sometimes I feel really guilty and wrong and like God hates me, which I know isn't from God, but I told J about that and he told me about religious guilt and now I keep second guessing myself.

I'm comfortable with J, and I keep repenting for all this stuff, but I'm scared it's not genuine because I'm still doubting. Somewhere along the line, I started getting some kind of crush on him. I've never struggled with temptation or lust towards women, and when I've been thinking about it I don't think I've ever been attracted to them. I always thought everyone got a sin to struggle with and some people got lustful thoughts, I thought I just didn't struggle with that sin. I've never really imagined being with a woman. I just kinda thought when I'd marry I'd get attracted to her then. I've had a few girlfriends, but i never felt anything and thought they just weren't the one God meant for me.

It's really scary because I feel like I'm closer with him in a few weeks than I am with some of my closest friends, who I've literally known since childhood, am on the football team with, and am in youth group with.

Okay now the big part is the past week. My parents were out and me and J were supposed to be working but were just goofing off, it was pretty late and we were sitting out on my roof. We were sorta flirting back and forth and we ended up kissing, and i know it's wrong but I do really like him. I repented a lot that night but I don't feel like anything changed. I know this is just a temptation from the enemy but it also feels right. I was freaking out the next day and he obviously noticed and he was quite chill about it, he was just like reassuring me a bunch that like we don't have to do anything and he does not want to do anything if im uncomfortable but i said something along the lines of 'thats not the problem, it's a problem because i did like it' which is so stupid and I don't know why I said that but it's also true?? Like it did feel right and I'm so confused.

We ended up kissing again a few days ago and then on Thursday I had a really bad panic attack or something, we were studying then it kinda happened suddenly and I couldn't breathe and it felt like i was dying, he sat with me and helped me breathe even though it took like ten minutes for me to calm down and he was hugging me, and i ended up crying which I feel really guilty about because I don't really do that and ig I've kinda unconsciously been thinking its wrong to show emotion, and I'm really conflicted. and we ended up kissing again yesterday, I know its sin and I've been repenting every day and crying out to God but I feel like he hates me now and I feel really gross.

But also I feel safe around J, and like he actually cares. I've never actually liked a girl but ive been thinking and I can think of at least five instances I've had crushes on other guys. I've never been able to really express emotions and he wasn't judgemental and actually told me what happened was a panic attack instead of just telling me it's sin and made sure I was okay.

I have the urge to just abandon religion, this is all kind of falling apart. I'm scared of what will happen if i don't believe. I'm conflicted.

Hey guys ex Muslim here. I’ve been a lurker of this sub for a little while and from I noticed, so many of the posts made towards Christianity and christians can easily be applied to Islam and Muslims. The reason why I see Islam as the other side of the same coin is because it has almost the same number of followers as Christianity today and is colonial like Christianity. You can even call Islam an Arab man’s spinoff of Christianity cause of so many things like nonbelievers being in hell for eternity, Adam and Eve, etc. I keep telling various ex Christians on TikTok “same thing about Islam” in various posts. Except from my view, I’d argue that Islam is even worse than Christianity cause most women regularly cover up head to toe like how misogynistic is that? And how you have to blindly memorize the Quran in a 1,000+ Arabic dialect and pray to god 5 times a day which makes god even more narcissistic than the one from the bible. These 2 giant Abrahamic cults take up over half of the entire populations planet. I can go on and on all day long about why Islam is essentially Christianity’s cousin. They both enslaved millions of people and erased entire cultures. Sorry if my post can seem a little bit jumbled but like I said, I can go on and on all day long about why Islam and Christianity are just the same coin. Those 2 are the worst offenders when it comes to common criticisms of religion in general. To all of those on this sub thinking about converting to Islam, DON’T!!!

I was talking to my dad last week and he made some comment about my 11 yr old son still believes in Santa and how that's not good. I said "well you still believe in god". Of course that didn't go over well. But really, I see more similarities than differences. Why is one okay for little kids, but the other is treated as real and important.

While a Christian, there were all sorts of sentences and phrases that get tossed around and everyone is cool with but after leaving the faith, I hear many of those things said now and I just think "what does that even mean?" It's just nonsense gibberish and I feel even dumber that I just went along with it. This includes:

• "The Lord spoke to me" - he did? how? you mean you had a feeling? a thought? an urge? you read a passage of scripture? did you hear a voice?
• "Let's take back or claim our city/school/nation for Christ" - what does that look like? how will you know it's happened? when everyone is a christian? when everyone votes you're the dominant religion? when did you even have it before? when did you lose it?
• (in prayer) "Lord just be with the doctors/teachers/dead person's family right now" - if you're going into surgery and they pray "Lord be with the doctor" what does that mean? Will the doctor do better? Or if a person has died and you ask god to "be with the family" what does that look like? do they feel better? less sad?
• "Lord lead us/direct our path/guide us" - how? if something works out for you (you got the job, you got into the college, etc) does that mean god lead you there? Is it just saying whatever happens was "god's will"? do you make a list of options on paper and holy light shines on the right one?
• So many examples in the worship songs. The one I always remember is "This is the air I breathe" - what? The holy spirit is the air you breathe? what is everyone else breathing? what were you doing before you got the holy spirit?

I know there's a million more but these are the ones I can pull out now.

After the veil is lifted, certain things in the ‘good’ book become absurd quickly. There’s a lot of verses that I love, but close to the top for me is Ezekiel 23:19–21, cause them boys hung like donkeys 🫏🐎🐴

according to my religious family members 😭😭which is shocking to hear as someone who is not straight. These family members also don’t believe that someone can be homosexual without going through some sort of child abuse/other types of abuse. Which is also shocking to me because i haven’t been abused in any way, shape or form, yet im still bisexual.

conversation arose because i asked if everything is predetermined since god knows everything. The answer i got wasnt very helpful but i didn’t want to continue asking because every question seems to be answered uncomfortably. This is despite being told that i can “ask anything”. They then went on a tangent talking about sodom and gommorah however you spell it, and how “that’s where homosexuality and the concept of watching explicit stuff comes from”. This includes how it’s “a form of pagan worship”.

I was then told that not being a christian is the end of the world because i would go to hell. so when i was asked if i was still a christian, i lied and said yes very dryly. i’m hoping that they do not believe me👍

if God is all-powerful and created the universe, he is supposed to be able to do anything. if he is all-loving, he wouldn't want children to suffer. so if he has the power to stop it, knows it's happening, and chooses not to, he either isn't all-powerful, or he isn't all-loving.

if God can intervene to answer prayers about everyday things like helping someone win a football game or survive a car crash… why can't he intervene to stop a famine or a terminal illness in a child? if he has the power to do the small things, he has the power to do the big things.

if a human adult stood by and watched a child drown when they easily could have reached out a hand to save them, we would call that person a monster and put them in prison. why do we hold a supposedly perfect, all-loving God to a lower moral standard than a regular human being?

"well, humans cause the suffering because of free will," children die from cancer, earthquakes, and tsunamis. free will doesn't cause natural disasters or pediatric diseases.

Curiously, God’s thinking seems to echo the current beliefs of any random date you look at. For example, God is now good with same sex marriage, along with science and multiple denominations of Christianity. However, there is one hard and fast rule that the Christianity is left defending. When it has no defense.

The fact that God’s love is 100% conditional. I believe that this will be the next tenet that Christians will leave behind. By 2035, it will be normal to believe that God doesn’t hold your belief (or non belief) against you.

I don't know what to do. I no longer believe in god and wanna explore buddism but I cant. I cant escape my past mindset about sin and going to hell if I even dear speak bad about him. I just need advice becaue I don't beileve in god and christianity can get toxic but I just can't escape the belifes that held me down like chains...Does anyone know hwo to escape it?

tw: depression, s** thoughts

hello, I'm writing here because I feel so alone in my experience - I am not sure if it is a good sub to share my story.

(this is kind of a rant and really any support is welcomed)

english isn't my first language, sorry for mistakes :((

I'm in relationship with amazing boyfriend for the last one and a half year and now I feel I can't do it anymore. for the context: he is trans. my parents unfortunately know that and completely don't accept our relationship because they say it is not the way God wants me to live. they would see me with some Christian guy and then get married in church and have kids - my sister has five and how much I love them and I love my sister I want to make decisions about my own life. I want to have kids but with my bf. they say it is not acceptable and I am so wrong for thinking our relationship can ever work. I can't listen to this bullshit anymore like some dude from heaven cares in what relationship I am. not like the is any proof for his existence, even if He would be there somewhere I am pretty sure he has more important stuff to worry about than my relationship. and if my bf would be toxic or something: but of course he is not and he has such beautiful soul.

unfortunately my sister says she understands our parents in some way bc she has her own children and just my brother and his wife are fully supportive for us. it kills me every time I see my bf or my family. I hate Christianity so much for the pain it gives me every fucking day of my life. what is even worse, my parents except that are good people so I can't hate them or something. I am mostly pretty submissive person, so it is really hard for me to stand in opposition to them when they are talking something I disagree with.

right now I am in college and they pay for my rent, I am working when it is possible, but they are still a big financial support to me.

I am also seeing a psychiatrist lately and has been diagnosed with depression and possible ADHD. every time I come back home I am trying to be a good daughter for my parents, but everytime they read something from the Bible or talk about church I am so annoyed, sad and dissapointed it is destroying my life so much.

my boyfriend is probably the kindest man I could ever dream of. probably if not my parents we would have been so happy and live our best lives. however my life has fallen apart after I heard their words about disapointing God and them because of my choice to date him. my depression risen from the dead since and with every month I feel worse and worse.

sometimes I want to end relationship with him to not give him pain from my death and then kill myself to show my family how much pain they gave me. right now I am so exhausted with fighting with my illness and my family that I want to call it all a day. I just want to stay in my bed forever or die. I wonder if I deserve to feel this way, if am I really that evil?

I am really sorry for my messy writing.

thank you so much for reading this, have a good day/night xx

If a church has supposedly been spiritually cleansed, is filled with the "Holy Spirit", and demons are unable or afraid to remain in such a place, how does a demon possessed person walk into that church with the demon still inside them without bouncing back out? Why does the demon only react or leave once the pastor begins the deliverance? I’m genuinely interested in how people who believe in deliverance reconcile this.

I will tell a true story and then explain my thoughts.

Christian Relative A: Because you see, medical science says just rely on science, and not the holy spirit.

Christian Relative B nods their head.

My Thoughts: This was during a car ride. I sit and read a book as I overhear these two people here.

My only thought at the time was, how ironic. Lol. They do exactly the same thing just for the 'holy spirit'. My thing is, look at how many people are ill and can/ could be helped and/or have passed on, because they kept waiting and praying for the 'holy spirit' to heal them. Guess what, they were not healed and they passed away. That alone tells me all that I need to know. Even some christian people say, 'we need to apply some medicine with the spiritual'.

Because they know if they don't get said modern medicine, they may increase their chances of not making it.