Narcissistic mom tries to be emotionally supportive.
Hi.
So, I made the decision to tell my mom about the struggles I’ve been facing for the last several months and how they’ve impacted me. I wouldn’t have said anything, but she asked and it’s not like I’ve been hiding my depression from anyone(I think it’s mentally unhealthy to hide your sickness).
She told me that she was coming over so we could talk. I told her I’d rather she didn’t, but I didn’t say why.
The reason I don’t want to talk to her is because when I was a child, she was not emotionally present, supportive, aware, present, etc. She was, instead, rather narcissistic and emotionally manipulative and dismissive with guilt trips and making everything about herself. I’m 36 years old now. I don’t look at her as an emotional support. Hell, I only see her a few times a year and our current relationship is pretty much through random text conversations spaced weeks apart. I don’t feel comfortable having intimate, vulnerable conversations like that with her.
The issue is that she, as a narcissist, likely feels that because she’s my mom, she’s entitled to what happens in my life despite barely being involved in it whatsoever. So, putting up this boundary will likely upset her. I just don’t know the right way to address this. I WANT to tell her that she was a shitty mom and she has no right to know anything about me except for what I allow—that she had that chance when I was younger and she missed it.
But… she’s still my mom and I do love her. I want to remain objective and not say something that will unnecessarily hurt her feelings.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!