u/honeylettering

Chasers are gay or at least bisexual. And there is nothing wrong with either. The pathetic part is their cowardice. Their selfishness. The disgusting little performance where they use other people, especially women, because they are too weak to stand behind what they want and too fragile to face what it says about them.

If they are with a cis woman to keep up appearances, they are SCUM for that. She becomes cover and decoy. A person whose life, body, trust and time they are willing to burn through because their masculinity is too brittle to survive honesty. That is cowardice.

If they are with a trans woman obviously treating her like an object or like a filthy little shortcut into their own desire or identity, they are just as rotten. A waste of time. They are using her. They are feeding on her while still looking down on the very thing they came crawling toward.

I do not care how many of them are secretly trans, repressed, ashamed or whatever else they hide behind. None of it excuses a damn thing. Their fear is not a worthy excuse. Their shame is not a free pass to disrespect other people. Their pathetic crisis does not give them the right to hurt others.

If this were not already so dangerous, if this exact cowardice were not already getting women hurt and killed, I would use every ugly slur there is for them. Because they are disgusting and selfish. They would rather use women as shields, props, objects and exits than stand in front of a mirror for one honest second.

Take this with a grain of salt, it’s meant to be ironic.

I was at the grocery store today and noticed one of the cashiers again. She has stood out to me a few times over the past couple of months. She looks like she is in her late teens, probably a student. She had a textbook with her at the register, which I only noticed because it seemed unusual for a cashier to be allowed to study during a shift.

She was very sweet and polite, and I got the impression that she might be one of us. I did not say anything, of course. She was at work, I was a customer, and I would never want to put someone in an uncomfortable position like that.

My read could be wrong, but she seems very early in transition. I only go to that store every few weeks, so I notice small changes. Nothing intense or weird, just little things in her presentation that are different from the last time. And honestly, from what I can tell, she must have been boyfailing pretty hard even before this point. Good for her, genuinely. There is something very vulnerable about seeing someone at that stage, especially in such an ordinary public place, under those lights, scanning groceries and having to be polite to strangers all day.

The part I am unsure about is her presentation. For example, her eyeliner was a little uneven and I genuinely do not know whether that is simply her style, which would be completely fine, or whether she is still figuring things out. No shade at all. It just made me wonder whether a kind word from another person would feel supportive, or whether it would feel intrusive.

I would never give unsolicited makeup advice. I would never say anything that could clock her, especially not at work. I am more wondering whether something very gentle and very general, like a small compliment if it came up naturally, would be okay. Something that does not imply “I clocked you”.. and does not put any pressure on her to respond.

Would that make you uncomfortable? I am leaning toward saying nothing unless there is a very natural opening, because she did not ask to be perceived or helped by a random customer. At the same time, I know how much a tiny bit of warmth can mean when you are early on and everything feels visible. I really do not want to overstep. I just want to be kind in a way that does not make the situation about me.

Just to say this upfront, I am not trying to open some kind of discourse can of worms here. I do not mean this in an overly serious way, but I also do not mean it completely superficially either.

Every subculture, and I am not saying being trans is one universal subculture, has its own terminology. Language changes, new terms appear, meanings shift. That is completely normal and honestly fine. So please read this with that context in mind.

I am someone who transitioned a long time ago. Maybe not old in actual age terms, but definitely transition wise ancient enough to admit I am no longer fully up to date on newer terminology.

Lately I have been seeing the terms “doll” and “brick” a lot, and I am not entirely sure what people specifically mean by them. Does “doll” basically mean hyperfemme, and “brick” mean at least somewhat masc leaning?

The older terms I remember were things like “fishy” and “clocky,” but these do not seem like exact equivalents to me. Especially because someone can be very passable without being particularly feminine, and someone can be very feminine without necessarily passing. Conventional attractiveness and passing are also not automatically the same thing.

Part of why I am asking is because when I tried googling it, I found a lot of contradictory explanations.