r/TMPOC

I really want to be careful with my wording here because of course no one HAS to be attracted to me just bc theyre transgender. But it does feel to me like I'm consistently looked over by WHITE TRANSGENDER people in the dating scene even if they're transmasc.

Primarily cis men persue me and that's whatever, white cis queer men are into hooking up with me too even if sometimes it's only for the novelty.

Maybe it's the area I live in but most of the rejection I get from dating is from white trans ppl. I will see in their profile that they are t4t and proudly so but then they act really weird when I try to persue them. This is a trend that happens irl as well. It could be because of my weight? I'm unsure of that being the case though because I also go out of my way to enage with fat people. Its kinda disturbing how dick obsessed the trans men around me can be. Why put t4t though if you dont want other trans people to hit you up?

Trans women are so so in reciprocating attraction, but I kinda get that even if it does suck. If you need to be validated in your gender by cis men I think that's a rough road to walk but I get why you would feel like you need that type of validation. Especially if you're straight, society has a lot of crazy expectations for heterosexual women; doubly so for trans women.

I guess I just take it more personally if someone like me isn't attracted to me? I want nothing more than to hook up with a faggy fat black trans man but I swear I'm the only one in my city, most of the trans people around me are white. (Tale as old as time ik ik) I expect this type of rejection from cis people who don't really understand me. I would like to eventually settle down with another trans person and this feels really discouraging. Like my only shot at genuine attraction for who I am will come from someone who doesn't exist :P If I'm missing something, I would love to know. Or even how to have this not bother me as much. In my ideal world I would only have sex and relationships with other bipoc trans ppl and I would be extremely happy.

I have rather healthy relationship with my bottom and I may get Metoidioplasty later in my life but I'm fine with having a female organ [although I want to get hysterectomy] and I enjoy my sexual life with it. Is this or does this disprove that I'm trans masc or not? I'm even thinking to keep my bottom part because why remove it when I feel good about it? Is this not being trans enough or not? I'm sorry because this is taboo but I want to know what you guys think.

Disclaimer: I am NOT asking this in bad faith. I keep seeing discussions and arguments about transmisogyny and the idea of transandrophobia. And I'm just not quite understanding, but I want to.

I saw people saying that trans men inherently hold power over transfems. Which is like, yeah if they pass as cis men. But how does someone like me, a non passing trans man, hold power over transfems?​

I guess this confusion and lack of understanding from me comes from the fact that I'm not sure just how much our experiences differ, other than just transitioning in different directions and the amount visibility (good and bad) in media.

I'm looking for binders that have specifically front zippers due to mobility issues where I can't always lift my arms over my head.

I used to use wonababi's but the zipper is very obvious under shirts and tends to break after 3-4 months.

I'd like to find one that's more durable and less obvious.

Anyone know of some good brands that could fit what I need?

Theres a naming culture in SEA, and I'm Thai for context. We rarely use our legal name and use mostly the nicknames we're given. Mine was Sonia which is very feminine and something I used my entire life. When I first started transitioning I wanted to throw it away mostly cause people were slow to pick up my new name and nickname. But with time I honestly started caring less. To some I'm my legal name, my new nickname or Sonia, and I'm kinda chill with it? People still treat me as a guy regardless. I'm a guy who's sometimes Sonia. I only allow my close family members call me that, if anybody else said it, would feel like dead naming. Maybe that's weird of me too?

For others, being referred to a feminine nickname is frustrating and disrespectful. And it's perfectly reasonable. But I feel weird/guilty that I dont feel the same way.

I have a South Asian (North Indian) dad and a hapa/wasian (Burmese, English, Chinese) mom. How do I look more South Asian as a pre t (I can't go on testosterone yet because I am living in a transphobic country)? My eyes have the same size and similar region between the eyes and the brows as South Asians and I have no epicanthic fold but my medial canthus is curved. I have a puffy face and I think that's what makes me appear ambiguous. When I had long hair (don't have a pic anymore) in my teens (not girlmoding since I knew I was trans at 14, but because I wasn't allowed to cut my hair), I could pass for a South Asian girl.

I've been told I look like a mix between Vidyut Jammwal and a younger Shahid Kapoor.

There is a joke going around that combining South asian and East Asian genes make you look South East Asian or Malay. Personally, I don't think I look Malay but some people think I do.

I dont think misandry exists on any level. Trans men face regendering by transphobia, we aren't discriminated against by misandry on any level because misandry does not exist. We are oppressed on the basis of sex and misogyny but not because we are men.

I bring this up because the only time I've seen anyone discuss this are white trans men. Yes trans men are heavily erased, but we aren't erased on the basis of being men but because masculinity is the default. And they're almost always saying grotesque things about trans women, like genuinely there is no "kissing the asses of trans women", that would mean they hold power above trans men.

over the years since i first came out, i have noticed that i generally don't relate to much of anything i read or watch from others. while i always value others' different experiences from mine, i feel bothered that i can't feel understood or relate to anyone.

does anyone here remember writings, stories, memoirs, anything at all that made them feel seen or understood? or have you made anything related to your life experiences you could share? i feel like i am losing it from frustration in trying to find anything that works :(

Before I vent, I want to explicitly state I do not support trans medicalist bullshit. I just need to know if anyone else has dealt with this. Whenever I post photos of myself online or meet other trans people in person, they- specifically nonbinary and transfeminine people- flock to me to tell me they wish they looked like me, that I'm very androgynous, etc. I identify as a man and am 100% binary in my identity and this feels so invalidating. I literally had a trans woman tell me I was gender envy for her. Another trans woman told me after hooking up that I was one of the "good men" because it takes a woman to be a real man.

Why does nobody see a problem with this? I explicitly state that I'm a trans man and yet people assume I'm a transmasc nonbinary person or a he/him lesbian at most. I'm literally sick of it, it makes me so dysphoric I want to rip my skin off.

I hate the way other people perceive me. Am I just doomed to never be seen as a real man?? What's even the point of transitioning and losing my entire family, life, friends, and opportunities, if the community I thought was going to be there to lean back on doesn't even see me as what I am?? This is turning me bitter and hateful and I'm trying so hard to be okay about it but there is genuinely nothing more frustrating than the constant reminder that I'll never be seen as a man, and knowing that the more frequently I have to point this out, the more hostile/conservative people will perceive me.

This is mostly directed to black transmasc people, but if you have any advice, it'd be very much appreciated!!

Okay so I'll be traveling to Japan for study for two weeks and I'm a bit nervous. I do want to pass while I'm there because it'll be the first time I'll be using my chosen name and pronouns outside my home. One of the main things is hair. While I actually pass somewhat with locs or an afro, as soon as I get braids I look femme again. I do love braiding my hair but it's a bit annoying sometimes lol. The style I'll be doing are those layered braids (I might color some idk). Any tips to style it?

Am I still trans masc person when I did not had life long gender dysphoria and I recently found out that I was kind of trans masc who is also Bisexual Asian Boy/Man. I did not had gender dysphoria till two months ago, and I feel like I'm intruding this space. Maybe I was never trans at all when I hear from other trans man saying that they have been dealing with gender dysphoria when they were 6. Maybe all of this is caused by my internalized misogyny and my depression, Adhd and BPD. I need help and I'm really struggling with this. Am I still trans or not?