r/TMPOC

it's been a month and a half since top surgery so maybe it's too soon for me to be worrying about it but they're lighter than my actual skin. I feel like I haven't seen that many pigmentation results for poc with formerly brown nipples and I am feeling very insecure.

I have three questions: how long did it take for peoples grafts to darken (if they did at all)? and if they have remained pink, does it effect your comfort levels going topless/do people notice or comment on it? and is there anything I can do in the meantime to darken them?

im 5'3" and wasian. i have no idea how to wear clothes or look for masculine clothing that fit me. i'm 5-6 months on T, i tried looking up clothing advice but it seems to focus a lot on white trans men/masculine people.

is there any advice you guys can give me?

So I'm pre-T and 18 and I've been trying my very best recently to pass more and solicit advice on how to pass better. As I am right now, I'm still under my parents roof, and while I'm lucky enough to not have an outright transphobic family, it's not like they have any interest in supporting me in any way, so the possibility of me being able to start testosterone or at least go to therapy for an official gender dysphoria diagnosis is not possible. My goal is to DIY, but I'm still working out and researching the logistics of that and if that could even be possible for me.

So now I'm just trying my very best with the base that I have. I voice train. I'm fat, so I'm losing weight and going to the gym to try to build muscle, and I bind 100 % of the time I go out. I Try to mimic the mannerisms of men, like speaking patterns, how people walk, etc. And still, to literally no result, I am gendered female probably 99% of the time that I go out. Honestly at this point I'm trying to make peace with it and accept the reality that until I start testosterone, it's going to be very difficult for me to pass.

That being said, I feel like anytime I try to ask for pre-test passing advice from communities and forums on the internet, they are overwhelmingly White. I get the overwhelming response that I already look like a man and that I don't even need testosterone. I don't know if this is just "hugboxing," like where people are more likely to glaze you online because they want you to feel good about yourself, but I know it's literally not true. I interact with cisgender men at work, in school, and at home. Other young Black men can be the same weight and build, but still, there is a definitive difference.

I've come to the conclusion that in these overwhelmingly white spaces they already view blackness as inherently masculine, and that's why they seem to think that it's easier for Black people to pass when, in reality, different communities have different standards for passing.

I don't want to speak for Asian transgender people, specifically transgender Asian women, but I saw a similar discussion online about a month ago, and I thought it reminded me of this. It was someone saying that transgender Asian women were "lucky" because Asian people already look inherently feminine and girly, so unlike the "rest of us," they hardly needed to transition at all. I feel like that's like a crazy generalization to make about like 60% of the world, but also it's just not true. Like maybe if you're approaching everything as a white person with white standards and have minority communities be the outliers.

But in reality as a trans person of color, specifically one who's trying to adhere to a gender binary, you're going to interact with your community, so how you look to a white person doesn't matter that much. Like, I really don't care if a bunch of white people on Twitter think it's easy for me to pass because to take one step in my shoes and to walk outside, you would see that it's literally not.

I feel like the crux of my problem is that white transness is so often seen as the default, and it seems like a lot of the time they like to carry over these white supremacist ideals of minorities being exotic and "other". It just upsets me to think because, like, if this is how you're seeing me, how do you see the cisgender people of my race also? Like, Black women are already so masculinized and treated so poorly as a result. I don't know about if the same thing happens to Asian men, but I imagine it could be the case.

Hey y'all, I'm about 4 years on testosterone and haven't had a period in that time. Recently changed from gel to injections so I suspect that my body is actually getting less testosterone than it's used to.

Additional details about my regimen: I've been on estradiol cream for maybe a year or two. Never took it two consecutive days in a row except I did made that mistake this week.

I've been having cramps and headaches and I feel a period coming. And I am wondering if it's more likely because of the change in T dose or the slip up with the E cream.

PS for those who will inevitably tell me to see a doctor: I'm choosing to ask reddit before doctor. You don't get more information than that. Move along internet stranger :)

So I live in the capital of my state in the South and ... it is full of white people. I've been to trans events, nightlife events, the LGBTQ center and it's all full of white people. I really am looking for community with QTBIPOC people because that's who I have always got along with. But I just feel lost because even non-LGBTQ things I am into are also very white dominated around here.

I don't really know what to do since this is my first time actually trying to make friends outside of college (I just graduated in May) so any advice or personal experience is much appreciated!

I am currently 15 and I would like to start taking T this year, but the only thing holding me back are my parents. Someone told me to wait till I turn 16 which would be next year, but to be quite honest I can't wait any longer. Although, they said to wait till I turn 16 so if things get bad I can hopefully have a car by then and leave. My parents are very transphobic and in the past said slurs along with other things I will not repeat to me. Plus when I tried packing with a sock and my mom found out she held a belt to my face, but luckily my dad stopped her (this was a few months ago). My parents still aren't supportive but are learning to tolerate it to the best kf their abilities by buying me men's clothes, giving me a little more leeway to choose what hairstyle I want (not allowed to get a haircut), and let me go to two pride events thats about it.

My concerns are that my parents see and hear the effects on T and take me to the doctors to get evaluated. Which could result in them telling my mom to get my hormones levels checked and probably have me take estrogen. And or confiscate my things including my phone as punishment for "hurting my body" for these changes. Lastly, I could possibly get kicked out but I very highly doubt it because my parents especially my mom care about the family image and me getting kicked out will reflect poorly on them.

Although, what do yall think should I get that DIY T now as a 15 year old or just wait until im 18? Also should I change my name in the school system as well or would that be a bad decision?

It makes sense, I guess, since my head hair is kinky. But I forgot that facial hair could be curly. Everyone I know with a beard or mustache has straight hair.

I've always winged shaving and facial hair. Should I be looking up videos or reading books on black facial care hair? Is curly hair vs straight hair different when it comes to taking care of facial hair?

Has anyone changed their name as a dual citizen of one or more non-accepting/conservative leaning country? I’m American, but I use a Chinese-issued Travel Document to enter China (nationality conflict; p common with second gen kids). I’ve been putting off starting the process of changing my name legally bc of potential issues with documents not matching up, esp bc I might want to live in China for a period of time.

first of all, I'm middle eastern (or west asian, whatever the politically correct term is idfk) on my mother's side but very much white passing so no one really assumes I'm mixed unless I say something. While this obviously gives me white privilege which I do understand is, well, a privilege, and is not something I take for granted, this creates a lot of passive aggressive racist comments to be made around me by white people who think I'm "one of them." Like the type of white people who are perfectly respectful and normal around poc, but start making gross jokes when the room turns all-white.

This is isolating (do these people only view me positively because I'm mostly white?) and scary (would these people treat me badly if I mention my heritage?) and something I thought I could escape by surrounding myself by white "progressive" allies + queer folk but it's always me and the one other mixed person in the room speaking up and being ignored. Like these racist jokes are made around me more than they would be if I weren't white passing, but because I'm mixed I can't just brush them off or condone them like monoracial white people can. Not to mention how I'm expected to, as an afab "white" person, reprimand the people making these jokes gently, instead of telling them that they are genuinely an irritating, boring human being like I want to.

I also have been shut down with the "you're not REALLY middle eastern" comment multiple times so I also feel like I can't protest against how white supremacist/"middle eastern people are dangerous" jokes hurt me personally. I have had someone who has personal beef with the idea of me being mixed (long story) say "watch out for middle eastern people [at an event]" (implying a bombing) so that I would be too uncomfortable to mention my race.

Every white person I know irl does not stand up against racist comments so it feels like I'm constantly trapped between being too white for poc and too poc for white people. It's really exhausting but I don't feel like I can mention this around my poc friends because it feels like such a white person complaint and it feels strange to just randomly vent about to my non weird white friends.

just yesterday, me and my friend (let's just refer to him as One), and his boyfriend (Two) went to this artist market near my house and were hanging out together. One slept over at my house since it was close to an event we were going to while Two wanted to go home since he was pretty tired and just wanted to rest in his bed.

One ended up getting rlly drunk while i got a little baked and it was a pretty fun time. we started talking about secrets and along the way, we started talking the first time i met Two which was at a party. at said party i was crossfaded, paranoid and getting memories of unfortunate things that happened to me and i was embarrassed about making a really poor impression so i tried my best not to talk to One or Two while i was like that. One asked me why i didnt want to talk to his bf and why i was "looking at them weirdly" so i told him that truth. he was relieved because apparently some of our mutual friends think that "i'm into him" and have been making a big deal about that night.

this is when i started to feel this sinking sensation inside my chest. a mutual friend in particular (she will be called Three) was mentioned as one of the people who headcanoned my relationship with One. i just felt really weirded out since I told Three that i'm not interested in dating, much less being in love with someone, multiple times. I thought she would've believed me since I think she's a nice person and I've never felt uneasy around her until today. However, I have noticed her looking over at me and One a few times in a way that implies she thinks there is something between us but I just ignored it. One, Four (mainly One's best friend, goes to school with me and One), Three, and Five (mutual friend, mainly Three's best friend) went out to eat a few days ago for Five's birthday since they all live near eachother. I'm pretty sure they talked about me as a conversation topic since I wasn't there and that's why One wanted to bring up the initial meeting with me and his boyfriend.

It also annoys me that One is the person that initiates physical contact while drunk but all of this is put on me because people think I like him, even when I never actively seek that sort of affection. People want healthy male friendships but will say somethings up when two guys cuddle platonically. The thing that bothers me the most is that I'm affectionate with One as much as his other cis male friends are with him. Four can casually ask about how One's private area looks and no one bats an eye, but when I sit a little too close to him suddenly it's because "I have a crush on him". I also noticed this morning One seemed to be more quieter than usual but I just think that's because he was tired from drinking himself to oblivion the night before and was eager to be home.

I'm really hurt by this because it feels like I'm being treated like a small cute girl who follows around the boy she likes. It makes me sick because all of it is just so familiar to shit that went down back in the past. I've always been in this sort of situation where people think I hang around guys to seek romantic approval and praise from "the opposite sex". The idea of being someone's girlfriend is something I've always found myself being averse to and now it feels like that idea is being perpetuated by the people I thought respected me. I've worked so hard to be seen as my own person and now suddenly the outside perception of my being (by friends who honestly don't even know me that intimately) is centered around a guy that I don't even have interest in. All of our mutual friends are queer people themselves, yet they still subconsciously implement romance and male centered thinking when it should not be thought about.

If this happened with a female friend or if I was a cis male, I don't think they would be making such strong claims about how I feel. I know they probably don't mean any harm, but its always the ones who don't mean it who say the most hurtful things. no one takes me seriously when i want them to but when i say or do something lighthearted with A CLOSE FRIEND, suddenly everyone is sherlocke holmes trying to figure out the secret. Maybe if I stop wearing vibrant outfits, speak and smile less and rid myself of everything "feminine" about me, people will finally see me as a person worthy of respect. Even so, I know that no matter what, I'll always be read as feminine or inferior because of my race and the way I physically look

I'm honestly a bit hesitant to be around One tomorrow at school now that I know there are people out there who I think I like him like that, but I feel guilty for thinking that because I think it's only weird if I make it weird. At the same time, it would also be awkward if I don't clearly address anything since we were talking about it when we were in an altered state of mind. I just want to be free and be friends with people and not owe anyone an explanation. Do I not even deserve that much?

a while back i realized every trans man of color i know (and i know many!) is either dating a white man or a fem. it was kind of disconcerting to realize as a guy who is more attracted to masculinity. ive dated a white guy in the past but itd be nice to have a partner that Gets It. is this just my social circle or is it a thing??

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What's the lowest dose of T that you can start on? Did you microdose T?

How did you find Doctors who helped you advocate and what kind of advocating did you need? Did you combine with other medications or birth control to stop your period?

I don't want to have PMS or a period anymore. It's really important to me that I don't have PMS, although it would also be nice to stop bleeding. I want to honestly know about other people's experiences.