Medical biases
Not really related to my own transition but something I just need to get off my chest. Why won't the doctors let me get diagnosed for literally anything. The only time I've been treated properly was when there was blood coming out of my ass during gastro. Otherwise, they've never cared about me ever. I've been trying to get diagnosed with excessive daytime sleepiness and check whether its idiopathic hypersomnia/narcolepsy or just a circadian rhythm issue.
The last time I was trying to get treated for this was when I was 15 and they didn't even take me seriously but wanted me to keep coming back. They told me I had to stop napping (the literal point is that I can't) so they could stabilise my sleep schedule and do a sleep test. They told me that they wouldn't treat me if I continued to sleep during the day and so I tried my best not to. Then when that happened, they said that there was nothing wrong with me and that they won't do a sleep test even though I met their criteria. They tell me "everyone's sleep schedule is different so there's nothing wrong with you" then proceed to tell me "you need to sleep like a normal person or else we won't do anything about it"
Why is it like this? Am I not high value enough for them? Almost every doctor I see doubts me and thinks I'm just seeking attention because of the way I look. Getting HRT legally as a minor has taken 4 years and they told me that they would be able to give it to me before I turn 18. I'm 17 now and they've done absolutely nothing but my white friend who goes to the same clinic got it in 6 months. They will have more sympathy for a white person who scrolls on their phone all the time and therefore has life ruining ADHD or something adjacent. So many of my white queer acquaintances are diagnosed with some sort of neurodivergence and tell me that I don't know what it's like to suffer like they do. They take days off school for a mental health day while I force myself to get out of bed while having dizziness and unable to keep my eyes open and have to travel 1hr from my house to my school on the opposite side of the city
I'm always 1hr late to my morning class, can't concentrate and I start getting tired after 4-5hrs of being awake despite having a full 8hrs of sleep, get headaches constantly and I feel like a zombie. But that's not because there's something wrong with me, it's just because I'm a lazy piece of shit who wastes the time of the precious doctor. Fuck my life