r/MtF

Seeing women out in public, on TV, etc makes me want to be a girl and have the ability to look as good as them. Even when I'm with others (almost nobody irl knows I'm trans including my friends and family), I'm randomly zoning out imagining being a girl and I get very upset when I realize that I'm probably never going to pass or genuinely be seen as a woman by anyone.

I'm not sure what to do anymore.

Context: we were talking about being single and relationships and stuff then she mentioned another trans girl has recently gotten single but then she pointed out her ex was a dude and they might be heterosexual" and then said "as a joke" that it wouldn't matter in my case because I look like a dude anyway. Mind saying I'm 9 years into HRT. I said it's hurtful to say, like it's a borderline thing to say on the expensive of my passing, it's the punchline, I don't really see a joke there, am I overreacting when I'm hurt my best friend would say that to me? I would never *think* to make that joke to a trans person.

So it may be that where I live is a fairly accepting place, but most cis women that I know and encounter (even ones who knew me pre transition) are fine having me around them and are happy to count me as one of them. On multiple occasions, I’ve been approached by a cis woman in public and complimented on my fashion, and/or even given supportive comments!

I’ve had exactly two cis women give me grief, and one of them was clearly not playing with a full deck of cards. The other one just yelled at me from her car and that was it.

Back to positive moments, the first time a cis woman referred to me as being female with the phrase “well, we’re both women here” it definitely caught me off guard and I’m sure I blushed a deeper red than I ever have before.

Another was when I came out to my folks (father and step mom) and this one was unintentional on their part. Step mom asked me if this meant I was “gay” and into men. When I told her I was still into women, I also mentioned that, other than family members and close friends, I don’t like most guys. Without skipping a beat, she said “I don’t blame you, most guys are dicks!”.

Thoughts? What’s your experience with cis women? Are they accepting of you?

I think I might be trans. I'm not sure. But ive been thinking about it a ton. I seem to want to be a girl, I like wearing girl clothes, I have always displayed a more feminine side. Ive looked into HRT and the surgery, and imagining that always makes me happy. But I dont have constant dysphoria like ive heard a lot of trans women did. And I also dont feel attraction to men. Ive heard the button question, and yes I would instantly click the button to be a girl with no consequences. Theres just a lot pointing in different directions, and i was (am) being raised Mormon, so I have long rooted teaching that trans is wrong, even if i know that's not true. I'm so confused. Can anyone help me know for sure. I feel dumb.

She just told me "if you think you are ever going to pass as a woman, you have got to be kidding yourself"

I’m distraught, I’m emotionally hurt, she loves me, but she absolutely does not respect me! I don’t know what else to say. Fml

I think it captured the feeling of repressing while in a deep depression perfectly. The world feeling so fake and suffocating. Wishing and waiting for someone to come save you but they never come. The years piling up so fast they feel like seconds. Knowing you have to take responsability for yourself but not daring to. And then you regret it but the world doesn't care, and time keeps moving and moving and moving...

I feel like it adds an easy (whether malicious or accidental) misunderstanding into what gender dysphoria and being transgender is. I was always a woman, I didn't change my gender, I just realized I was a woman and worked on looking like it.

Yes, this is the nitpicky-est thing I've ever said. But. It's something that's been eating at me for a bit now and I'm curious if it's crossed anyone else's mind.

Edit : to be clear I don't like "transexual" either... That one has transmedicalist undertones. And I do not have a better term to offer as a substitute

Could someone explain to me why, when I see trans women, something triggers in my mind that makes me want to be a woman myself?

There's a fundamental misunderstanding a lot of "allies" have, that the reason trans people should be able to exist is because we're not hurting anyone, that it's "nobody else's business" or whatever. People believe they're truly being supportive when they say this but really what they're doing is being performatively supportive while leaving the door open to turn on us in the future.

They don't view our existence as a matter of human rights and instead as a matter of personal choice. This framing leaves us open to attack if anyone can provide evidence of a trans person causing harm. When the only reason they believe we should have rights is because we're "not hurting anyone", not because we're real people who deserve human rights, the only thing preventing them from turning on us is evidence of a trans person causing harm. They're only one trans person who offends them personally away from abandoning us altogether. They aren't allies.

Maybe it's just me, but everywhere I turn it feels like us transfems are taking the blame for something. Even in our own community. We take up too much space, we're male socialized, we're making the fight harder for everyone else, we have male privilege.

I only see grace and sympathy for trans men, and I get that it's hard but it's so often paired with how we're doing something wrong.

Idk, it just feels like everyone hates us. I might just be imagining it, this is just a bs vent idfk

i'm sick of reading scp articles and suddenly there's something like: "mobile task force omega-alpha-42069 or whatever the authors come up with at the spot, if there's a special ocassion for it, to me it's ok, but then they suddenly invent 10 new mtfs just to do the SAME things again and again

If not.... you should. Thank me later when you have buttery soft skin all over. Have a lovely rest of your day now 😄

So a i (18) fell for a scam and lost all my money. And in that process my parents figured out how i got scammed and belittled me for it, and then we had a conversation about being Trans and they said that they don't understand it and that its a mental illness. My mom started saying that "Even trans people say its a mental illness" and sited Blaire White, and Jordan Peterson as her source of information. She then asked how far I would take it and said that I would never be a woman even if I chopped my Dick off I would never be a woman. And then I told her what I would do, Which is HRT, grow my hair out, and learn makeup and stuff. And she said that if i dont get surgeries im not committed to being trans, that's just my mom's side. My dad on the other hand got angry and was telling me that i used to be so logical and that what im thinking isn't logical and that biology doesn't work how i think it does, and there are only to Sexes and i cant change that. And they said they had known fir a while that i "wasn't normal" and hoped in the end i turned out normal. And then they made me tell them everything I have done to try to be feminine and they said im sick in the head and to stop doing this "Weird shit" and after i told them I was extremely depressed and have been forced four years, they said that its because of the internet and that i was influenced by "Weird shit" and then they said i got scammed because im trans. And then compared me to my older brother who is a drug addict and domestic abuser, saying how im no different. Then after all that, they told me since im under their roof i have to box all my girl stuff up and thet are gonna force a routine change, and force me to cut my hair. I dont know what to do and I feel so empty. Like I just want to curl up and dissappear.

Long story short, I took my kids to a 4th of July rodeo at the fairgrounds in my fairly red area of a supposedly blueish state. They have a thing called a calf scramble where all the kids 12 and under go out to chase a few calves around and try to grab some ribbons for a prize.

I waited and watched all the kids streaming back to where they belonged and mine still didn't show up. When it was clear they were all out of the arena I flagged an employee, and he told me that some of the kids got herded out a gate on the other end of the bleachers, so I limped as fast as I could down the front, then back again along the back. By the time I returned my son had shown up, but not my daughter. We did another loop of the bleachers, and I started getting really freaked out and looked for the sheriff's deputies I'd seen wandering around.

The employee had me do one more loop of the bleachers, but then the cops had me stay at the registration table so they could find me when they'd found her. That was when I started losing it. I had to do continuous slow breathing to keep from bursting into tears while surrounded by trump supporting rednecks whom I was relying on for help. It didn't help that my son started having a meltdown about not being able to see the rodeo and having to stay by me. I almost started crying again on the drive home just thinking about it.

Anyway, they found her after about half an hour. Another child had told her she could go say hi to the animals.

She was in the pen with the bulls.

I am 60 and grew up in the 70s and 80s. As a child, I had curly hair, blue eyes, and long eyelashes, often mistaken for a girl, especially by women who praised my appearance and wished they had my hair and eyelashes. At 11, staying at a friend's house, his mom bent down to greet me without a bra under her shirt. I saw her breasts, and I thought I couldn't wait to have breasts too. I was confused growing up due to limited information about being trans. In the 90s, I got married. The internet made it easy to look up information about being trans. My wife found my internet history, and we got divorced.

I am now married to my wonderful wife, and we have an awesome daughter. I have always been attached to women but at the same time wanted to be a woman. I spent years of wanting this feeling to go away. Now, at 60 my egg has cracked. I am a trans woman.

They should take hrt for three years and then report their findings and see if they could STILL bench press their usual lbs (if they even lift in the first place)

anecdotal evidence is Always the best one truly. Because the entire discourse is absolutely apocalyptic levels of stupid. i have like 0 muscle mass now and its already been scientifically proven

Hi everyone,

I'm a trans woman in my early 30s and I've been on HRT for a while now. I'm trying to understand my sexuality, and I'm wondering if anyone has experienced something similar.

I know that a decrease in libido is extremely common after starting estrogen, so I'm not really asking about that. My libido did disappear for several months, but over time it gradually came back. I also went through a period where my orgasms felt much weaker, but that eventually improved too. Nowadays I can masturbate again, although much less often than before HRT (roughly once a week or even less, whereas before it was almost every day).

I'm also sapphic. I've always been attracted to women, and that hasn't changed.

The problem is that what came back doesn't feel like the same sexuality I had before.

Even before transitioning, I was never a particularly sexual person. I lost my virginity as a teenager, but then spent around 15 years without having sex and never really felt motivated to seek it out. Even back then, I wasn't very interested in conventional pornography. What I found arousing was usually more psychological or fantasy-based content rather than explicit sexual content.

When I eventually got into a relationship, I discovered that many sexual activities didn't naturally appeal to me. My partner and I found a way to make intimacy work, but looking back, I wonder if testosterone was doing more of the heavy lifting than I realized.

Now, after HRT, I have almost no interest in actual sex with another person.

It's not that I don't desire my partner specifically. I don't feel that kind of desire toward anyone.

I can still become aroused again by fantasy, stories, or psychological scenarios. I still have a libido, I can still masturbate, and I still enjoy orgasms. But I don't fantasize about having sex with people, and I don't find myself wanting real-life sexual encounters.

Sometimes I wonder if HRT didn't make me asexual, but instead revealed something that had always been there once testosterone stopped pushing me toward sex.

This has been really difficult for my relationship. My partner understandably struggles because she knows I still masturbate sometimes, but I rarely want partnered sex. From her perspective, it feels like rejection, even though that's genuinely not how I experience it.

Has anyone else experienced something similar?

I'm especially interested in hearing from trans women whose libido eventually returned, but whose interest in partnered sex never really did.

Did your sexuality fundamentally change after HRT? Did you eventually identify somewhere on the asexual spectrum, or did you find another explanation?

I'd really appreciate hearing your experiences.

so I've been thinking for a a while an I haven't transitioned or started HRT and I think my opinion is invalid when it comes to deciding weather it's a fetish or if I'm really Trans I've watched countless videos self-assured myself multiple times and still I can't known if it's real or not as being a boy it felt meh not dysphonic nor anything just meh never okay or happy every relationship i was in never felt like anything and now without any traditional flags to point this out I'm soo lost and deeply and not once have i ever actually fell in love with anyone it was either peer-pressure and such my female friend also has asked me if I'm gay or not and neither did i enjoy that title so I started to identify as non-binary but when I mention planning to transition it feels like im pretending or lying and that makes me deeply uncomfortable and i don't want it to be true so i tried to prove to myself it is but I just can't say yes i'm trans without confirmation it's been in distress about this for soo long (note sorry if it sounds rushed cause it was)

title <3