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u/jellybeanzz11

▲ 51 r/MtF

I'm starting to hate cis men

The difference between how cis men treat me vs cis women is astonishing. Yes I know 90% of cis people in general usually have issues with trans people or trans issues, but cis women seem to treat me so much better than cis men by far.

To be upfront, I don't pass and I am very, very far away from passing, I'd need FFS and multiple other surgeries. But I have managed to improve my appearance somewhat over the years to be a bit more feminine than before. And people have seemed to have noticed this.

Cis women will see me, and address me with things like "sweetie" or "honey." and generally stuff that I'd imagine they would call other women. They obviously know I'm a trans woman, but they atleast acknowledge my presentation and don't lump me in with men, and address me in a feminine manner

99% of cis men I've met will try to forcibly throw me into the men category. It's pretty clear that I'm not a cis guy and they refuse to acknowledge that. With cis men, it's always "bud" and "dude" etc. Calling me by masculine terms all the time. It's not even atleast a situation where they just don't gender me, they constantly gender me male every sentence they can. Cis women do this sometimes do, but not even half as much as men do this.

So yeah, men suck. I don't like them.

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u/jellybeanzz11 — 12 hours ago
▲ 44 r/DysphoriaPosting

My hairdresser knows I'm trans and still sees me as a guy lol

Recently when I went with a hair appointment with my hairdresser (been going to her for bit over a year btw), she commented on my eyelashes and eyebrows and said "ugh, boys get everything." like??? and then I showed her photos of my mom and my step dad and she said me and my step dad looked alike. Both of these things happened completely unprompted.

The worst happened at my last appointment with her. When I told her about my girlfriend (because I love my girlfriend and I like talking about her) and I tried to kinda encourage the idea that I'm a woman, saying that me and my gf are both GIRLFRIENDS. I also mentioned how my gf wanted me as her WIFE one day.

My hairdresser gave some compliments and said that I was tall like it was a good thing... mind you I'm literally only like 2-3 inches taller than her so that comment made no sense... She said it like it's a good thing and people only compliment being tall for guys

When I mentioned that my gf is taller than me, she seemed shocked and was like "oh that's even worse!" Which genuinely annoyed me. Why would it be bad for a woman to date another woman taller than them? Society still has a stigma about guys dating women taller than them, so it's pretty obvious she still sees me as a freaking dude with the way she reacted.

Anyways I'm going to find new hairdressers/salons to go to and just ghost her lol

u/jellybeanzz11 — 1 day ago
▲ 27 r/DysphoriaPosting

I wish I could just wear a dress but I'm too much of a freaking honbeast monster to wear one

I'm so jealous of cis women

I see so many cis women outside wearing pretty dresses. I WANT TO LOOK LIKE THEM AND DRESS FEMININE TOO WTF????

Why am I trapped in such a moid body???

I want to look good and pretty and wear a nice dress to show my legs and stuff...

But my body is just too disgusting and deformed.

I'm just so cooked. I want to be a woman and I'll never be able to be one. I hate it here...

WHY COULDN'T I HAVE JUST BEEN BORN A GIRL?! WHY COULDN'T I BE BORN RIGHT?! IT'S JUST NOT FAIRRR

i.redd.it
u/jellybeanzz11 — 3 days ago
▲ 27 r/DysphoriaPosting

I'm going to KMS soon

I might tonight

I just can't anymore

life sucks as a troon and surgeries can't save me

I hate my face, my body and my hair more than anything on this planet

I hate myself more than anything.

I should have been miscarried

u/jellybeanzz11 — 5 days ago
▲ 24 r/DysphoriaPosting

NEVER GONNA LOOK ANYTHING LIKE A WOMAN EVER EVER EVEN AFTER 10 YEARS HRT + 12 SURGERIES AWARD GOES TO ME AWARD GAHAHAHA

u/jellybeanzz11 — 7 days ago
▲ 48 r/DysphoriaPosting

Never malefailed award. Look nothing like a woman award. Look like a cis man in every way award...

Never malefailed? Check

Gets mogged by literally everyone all over the world? Check

Gets mogged by pre HRT troons and cis femboys? Check

Has zero hope of ever passing even after 15+ surgeries? Also check!

Has to HRT rep and manmode forever? Check...

Yes, this is me. This is the life of a perma manmoder like me...

u/jellybeanzz11 — 7 days ago
▲ 1 r/BPDPartners

My GF knows me very well in a short amount of time, should I be worried?

So my GF and I have been dating a bit over a week and met eachother a month ago. After us talking often for about a month, she already knows me very well, like that she's able to predict what I'll say or ask about BEFORE I even say and addresses it before I bring it up. I was a bit surprised and she playfully said she knows me very well and has me figured out already. This is new for me as even all the friends I've had before have never predicted what I'd say or things like that

She seems very intelligent with a good memory and pays close attention to details, and she has many skills and talents too.

Admittedly I have barely any relationship experience so I am unsure if it's common to know your partner so well within a few weeks. Should I be a bit worried or am I overworrying?

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u/jellybeanzz11 — 8 days ago
▲ 13 r/DysphoriaPosting

I love my girlfriend!!!

Ughhh I love my gf so much I love herrrr

We haven't been able to talk as much lately (unfortunately) but every time she does call and we can talk again I feel so happy on the inside. She always brightens up my day so much every time I can talk to her and she always gives me so much motivation to get through the day just by talking with me and her presence...

I love her so much I want to do nearly anything for her. She's one of the very few people in this world, if not the only one, who would actually love me. I feel so lucky to have her, she truly is an angel.

(and no, liking women isn't agp for the hussies who think that lol)

u/jellybeanzz11 — 9 days ago
▲ 57 r/DysphoriaPosting

My cis girlfriend is literally me but BETTER than me in every possible way

My cis girlfriend is very similar to me in so many ways. We have a lot of the same or similar life experiences and went through similar things. We both like helping people. The list goes on. In so many ways, she's almost like another me, we're so similar but different in some ways too

The thing that sucks though is that she's basically me, but a waaaaaay better version of me in every way there is.

She's infinitely prettier than me. She's way more fembrained than me. She's much stronger of a person than I could ever be as the amount of things she's gone through makes my life look like a garden in comparison. She's smarter than me, funnier, more talented etc the list goes on!!!

And she's better at helping people... And she does more for her family than I do for mine...

She is literally just a better version of me. She doesn't just physically and spiritually mog me, but she life mogs me too...

She's a reminder of what I am not. What I fail to be. I can never be even a quarter of the woman she is. I aspire to be like her one day but she's so far out of my league it's not even funny ☠️☠️☠️

u/jellybeanzz11 — 11 days ago
▲ 65 r/DysphoriaPosting

Going outside and seeing cis women in dresses is ropefuel...

be me, a 24 year old perma manmoder

I go outside to get things for mother's day

I see cis women in dresses and stuff wishing I could dress feminine too...

day ruined

no seriously though I WISH I COULD WEAR A DRESS OR SOMETHING WITHOUT LOOKING LIKE A HONBEAST MONSTER AGHHH

u/jellybeanzz11 — 11 days ago
▲ 11 r/DysphoriaPosting

My gf said she cares more for personality than looks... is she acknowledging that I'm an ugly moid 💀💀💀

I feel like she's kind of acknowledging that I'm very cooked looks wise 💀💀💀

View Poll

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u/jellybeanzz11 — 12 days ago
▲ 106 r/MtF

How do other trans women shave body hair so fast???

I genuinely just don't get it. Whenever I see posts about shaving body hair and how long it takes, most trans women say it got a lot quicker over time and HRT made the hairs finer and quicker to shave. Even a lot of cis femboys not on E can shave quickly

This never seemed to happen for me. It's always taken me over an hour just to shave my chest and legs and it still does. It never got easier or quicker even with HRT I still struggle with this. My legs are always so itchy afterwards too.

I'm 1 year HRT and it hasn't seemed to have done anything. Everything for my body is still the same a year later. Why does HRT just... not do anything??

My levels are 362 pg/mL E and 12 ng/dL T for those wondering...

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u/jellybeanzz11 — 13 days ago
▲ 37 r/DysphoriaPosting

I am such an embarrassment for my girlfriend

So basically my girlfriend unfortunately has a generally conservative family. She's one of the very few who supports trans people...

So uh, we already have a bit of a situation. She can't really introduce me to most of her family until I start to pass... And as both me and any tranner who has ever seen me before know, passing is pretty much out of the cards for me.

I'm never going to pass, even after surgerymaxxing. It'll take years for me to get FFS, shoulder reduction, ribcage, etc and I'll still look like a cis man, just uncanny. It's actually so joever...

I'm so cooked tranners. I'm such an embarrassment for my girlfriend as a manmoder. We'd have better luck just introducing me as her "boyfriend" but that's going to make me want to KMS on the spot. I'm a perma manmoder and my relationship is cooked due to that.

u/jellybeanzz11 — 14 days ago
▲ 31 r/DysphoriaPosting

I have a girlfriend now!

hi tranners. not all things have to be bad...

the girl I've been talking with for a while, well it turns out she likes me too... basically I uh, confessed to her yesterday and she said she felt the same and we're both falling in love with each other. we want to get married one day...

we're so happy with each other and I'm just so surprised because I genuinely thought she would never like me that way. but anyway she's just amazing she never misgenders me even when she's upset. even though she's a cis woman she tells me I'm beautiful too and loves me... (and yes if you're wondering, yes she does mog me to oblivion ofc but I love this girl too much for that to matter)

granted I'm still a giga moid who will need tons of surgeries for any hope of passing but, I genuinely feel happier now that I have her... I love her so much

u/jellybeanzz11 — 16 days ago
▲ 0 r/ExNoContact

So some background, we used to date briefly in 2020, and then broke up twice and the second time was for good. We tried staying friends afterwards but it didn't work out very well. So I went no contact.

She tried contacting me for 5 years after our breakup. She tried various methods of contacting me, from making dozens of new accounts online to follow me or see me, to trying to reach me through my friends, and contacting me from changed phone number. But I ignored her through it all because we weren't good for each other. Eventually in 2025, she stopped.

I recently found an old edit I made of us when we were together. Watching it really tore my heart up inside and it felt so heavy.

As crazy as it might sound, 6 years later I miss her. I know it's a bad idea to contact her again. But I still miss her now. I miss the good times that we had and the time we spent together.

I remember the last she contacted me, I eventually responded and she told me that she was going to therapy and trying to get better. A part of me is drawn to her because of the "what if things could be different now? What if we can be friends??"

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u/jellybeanzz11 — 21 days ago