r/needadvice

A kid

I had such a terrible situation today. I went through a very stressful experience, and because of it I completely panicked. The problem is that I haven't spoken to my father for two years, and I felt so much better not being in contact with him.

Because I was panicking, I decided to call him. I asked him if he loved me and if he would accept me for who I am. Overall, the conversation went well. My father said, "Yes, of course," and things like that.

But I feel awful. A couple of hours have passed, and now I'm thinking, "Why did I talk to him?" I didn't have to. Talking to my mom would have been enough. Asking her those questions would have been enough. Instead, I decided to start this whole thing again for no reason.

Now I feel like I'll have to start everything over again. I'll have to start talking to him again. And what makes it even worse is that my relatives, so people are going to say things like, "It's so great that you started talking to your father again! That's wonderful. You forgave him. Good for you."

No, I didn't forgive him! It was just a moment of weakness. I honestly hate myself for it. It feels like I'll have to start everything over again, and that's just horrible.

A big tree branch just fell from my yard taking out my neighbor's power. They are screaming at me. We have not had a good relationship. I (51F) went inside. I didn't feel safe with several grown adults yelling at me. I have no one who can help me at home. I usually do but my family member has cancer and if very ill. I know I need to call a tree service but it is Sunday. If the neighbors weren't screaming at me I would talk to them about trying to get a tree service ASAP. I am afraid to go outside. I know they are going to say I just left them to deal with it but I'm totally freaked out.

It’s been a few years now that I feel I can’t do my best in studying despite wanting it so bad and trying for it. Even when I manage to get myself to do the work, and even after things go very well, I always end up feeling kinda bad like something is missing. Do you know that feeling when you achieved something and everyone congratulates you but they are happier than you are? I feel like it’s been a long time since I’ve felt whole, which makes it incredibly hard for me to get myself to work, which then translates to not giving it my all and feeling always like I haven’t done enough.

Again it’s been several years so I’ve put a reasonable amount of thinking into this and I’m aware that if I could do anything in the world there’s a very good chance I wouldn’t continue on my current path, but given where I am in life I can’t logically find something that I can enjoy more and that could put me on a better path.

Long story short, I’ve(29F) faced immigration issues my whole life and haven’t left the US since I was about 5. All I’ve ever wanted to do was see the world but couldn’t and feel very behind on life at this age. I may get my green card soon and my lease ends in September. I have about $520k in investments and about $40k in checkings and savings. I’ve felt a bit burnt out in my career and tired of sitting on a chair everyday, typing on a computer. I’m single and have been thinking of spending 3-4 months traveling throughout Europe, Africa, and Asia. I’m a bit worried that I might not get a job after but also confident that I can. Would you recommend doing this or just looking for a remote job with good PTO? I’m very conflicted

I've had my first "fight" with a friend (as a young adult). It's pretty complex, and I guess I am here for advice/insights on what's going on?

Here is the context: three years ago I made 2 friends at university (let's call them Sara and Emie). I first became friends with Emie, who introduced me to Sara. I sort of noticed (I guess) that I became the "favorite friend" for both of them, but that was neither explicit nor a problem. Things were great, we frequently reunited to play board games or to go to the museum. Only, last year I had to take a break from university while both Sara and Emie had an intensive year of preparation to obtain an academic title. There starts the mess.

For practical reasons, Emie chose another workmate with whom to share the workload. Sara did not understand this choice and instead of talking it out started to build resentment and eventually checked out of the friendship. Emie did not know what was going on with Sara, though she felt her drifting apart. As I did not want to be stuck in the middle (they both confided to me) I tried to prompt them to talk to one another. Well, they both were too proud to talk, but acted as friends before me. And I was fooled.

About a month ago, Sara called to tell me that she didn't want to go on vacations with Emie. (At this point we had been planning vacations for the three of us for several weeks, without any clear date or destination yet). I was shocked and disappointed, but Sara explained that she and Emie had been drifting apart for a long time now.

The following day or so, Emie called and complained about how Sara did not answer the messages about the vacations on the group chat. And this is how I found out that:

a) Sara did not tell Emie that the common vacation was cancelled

b) Sara had been pretty consistently ignoring Emie over the last weeks

I made the choice to tell Emie that Sara did not want to go on vacations with her. (Maybe I could have left out a part of the truth to protect Emie's feelings and just said that she had to cancel vacations, but I believed that she had the right to know the whole of it and that I had to talk.) Emie, who was already dealing with family problems, was deeply affected.

I then started planning vacations with Emie, who was very depressed and surrounded with terrible people (her family). I needed to get her out of there.

However, after several days of her telling me that although she really needed these vacations they seemed difficult to make come true, I started to assume that she just didn't want to say no. (I usually make a rule not to "read people's mind" but the whole context unfortunately pushed me to do so.)

Indeed, parallel to this I had learnt that my grandmother would be alone for a week in jully and needed help. I made a quick decision to ask Sara to come with me at my grandma's house and Sara was immediatly in.

The very same day, only a few hours later, Emie told me at last that she could come on vacation with me. Oh I felt so dumb. Of course I told her the whole situation that had led me to believe that she wouldn't be able to come, and that I needed to act quick for my grandma.

She sent me some very fear and guilt-inducing texts (that I was her last hope and that I had abandoned her). She is currently safe and away from her family, but that was very scary. Otherwise, I understand her sentiment. Apparently I had misread one of her messages, which made it clearer that she was trying hard to get free of her previous engagements with her mom, even risking her anger (reminder: her mom is an awful person).

Though I couldn't change what was done, I felt terribly sorry and told her so. That was 5 days ago and I have been on silent treatment eversince.

Right now, I am still very worried for her and can't help but feel guilty. But also, silent treatment is a crossed boundary for me. I am also disappointed in both of my friends for their way to handle conflict.

I don't know what to think of all this. I feel quite lost as I am not the type to fight with my friends. I want to do what's right but it also feels like I have no actions left

What's the right thing to do? Am I losing a friend?

PS: excuse my english, it's not my mother tongue

Edit for additional context & update:

1. inviting Emie to grandma's feels complicated. Emie stated earlier that after learning about Sara she wouldn't want to go on vacation with her either.
2. I told Sara that I was not okay with her way of treating Emie and that I didn't like her leaving me to tell Emie about the vacations. She apologized to me and sent a message to Emie for a long overdue explanation. Emie seems to be ignoring her as well.
3. Emie knew my views on silent treatment. I sent her a message in the morning, asking her to stop ignoring me and that it was hurting me. Now I think I can say that she is being intentionally cruel. Again, I can see her perspective and own my mistakes and be compassionate but this is not ok

Same as title.

I know it's incredibly rare. I also know that if it actually happened, I probably wouldn't even have time to feel anything.

But every single time dark storm clouds roll in, I hear thunder, or I see lightning, I start panicking. It's like my brain immediately goes into survival mode.

I can't stop imagining that the next lightning strike is going to hit me - or hit somewhere right next to me. The images in my head feel so vivid that I almost start believing they're about to happen.

It's an awful feeling, and I was wondering if anyone else experiences this, or if it's just me.

Do you have any tips for not thinking about it? How do you just stop caring and stay calm instead?

So I referred one of my close friends for a role in my same team and she got fired from the company in a less than a year due to performance. I have been in the company for almost 4 years now and got promoted a few times and earned good visibility with the leadership team.

In the mean time, she got another job and got fired from that job as well. She’s been looking for a job for many months. Now that her EI is cut off, she desperately needs the money. So she found a job posting in my company and she’s asking me to refer her again.

I asked her to contact the director of the department through LinkedIn and talk to her about it. But the director never responded. So she’s back to square one. I feel like this is also jeopardising my role since she’s already been referred by me and was fired. I’m not sure if this is a good idea or I’m just overthinking it.

Please pardon my English, not my first language and my brain is not braining on a Friday afternoon.

So it from me and my mom and I just want toknow am I the cazt one did I really do any thing so wrong I stop reading all her messages cuz well idk ig I belive Im really just so scum on this world at this point somthing cuz every one in my life has done this to me.andim tired of it

Just as the title says:

I have a friend group of 2 girls and 3 guys, me included. 10 days ago, one of the girls by the name of Maria confided in me and told me Carl asked her to send him explicit videos of herself. She politely declined and he sent her an immature response which made things worse. I saw the screenshots and it rubbed me the wrong way. I told the other girl in the group about it, Jasmine to keep her distance from him. I gave Jasmine and Maria my word this will stay between the 3 of us to keep them safe.

I'll be honest, I took the avoidant route way too far because he started picking up on it when he messaged me the following days. Yesterday, he told me about the situation with Maria from his perspective. Carl mentioned he felt bad and thinks he ruined the vibe of the group because of it. He sent me the screenshots between him and Maria through this feature on Instagram called 'disappearing messages'.

Unbeknownst to me, I was not aware taking a screenshot would notify him when this mode was on. He immediately asked me about it, I said I wanted to test it because a girl used that feature with me to send me stuff through the same app. In reality, I just wanted to provide an update to Maria about how Carl felt and felt the need to send her proof. It obviously backfired.

Carl could smell the bs through that excuse and told me to he was about to go completely ghost. I told Jasmine about the situation, and she feels this isn't a black and white situation and that I can still salvage the friendship without me breaking my word to Maria and her that this would stay between the 3 of us.

I am looking for advice as to what would you guys recommend I do? I honestly didn't want to get more involved but somehow, I did. If you have more questions I'll be happy to answer them in the comments.

TLDR: partners sibling has nonrefundable tickets and flights and is willing to just take the L over her travel anxiety.

Looking for advice as I want them to come with still. Also, everything is already all planned and paid for and they’ve already bought their flights (non-refundable too after all of us advising otherwise🤦‍♂️).

My partner’s family has been planning this trip to Europe for everyone (9 of us originally, down to a potential 4 now lol) for the past like 18 months and has generously offered to pay for all accommodations and meals. We just had to get there. They’ve even rebooked our accommodations a couple times to reduce the space we’d need as other people slowly dropped out since this past Christmas.

Until now, her sibling coming has been gung-ho and super excited about the trip as she’s the only one who followed through with buying her stuff, along with us. However, this week, she drops on us out of no where that she’s not going to come and to just tell us what she owes us for other tickets and passes we’ve bought for things to do while there… she is 100% willing to just flush all the money down the toilet. We’re talking well over $2,000. Sib says they’re feeling anxious about going and apparently recently had a fight with their dad, so doesn’t feel like talking to him right now (frankly, some petty bs).

I know it’s not my problem and people are going to do what they want to anyway, but she’s already expressed regretting things in the past. We both really enjoy spending time with her as she’s about 9-10 hours from us and I know my partner was really looking forward to having that quality time and making memories together for a couple weeks. We’ve tried talking to her and being reassuring, but it seems like she’s just shutting down.

Any advice on what to say or do or try to help alleviate the anxiety? I just feel like she is making these decision irrationally. I was even going to bring up helping to pay for anything if it’s a stress about the finances. We’re just stuck, so plz other Reddit travel enthusiasts, HELP!!

Is my bestie a bad friend?

Hey guys, English is not my First languane so im trying my best!
So i have this problem.
Lately i have been feeling that my “best friend” is not actually a good friend. For an example she’s only happy for me if its benefiting her. Like i sold my first car, which she loved and i asked her to come over and celebrate, i even brought a cake and champagne, because i felt it was a huge part of my life. She was “ tired” but told me that if i want i can come to her place to hang but she’s tired to celebrate? I also have been feeling like i wanna go to a university this year, learn a news things and get a better career but that would’ve mean that i have to move. I got my first rejection today and she left me on read, i told her multiple times that im feeling sad and she only asnwered with 👍🏼. - She has told me before that she doesnt want me to go because i would left her. Also when im with my bf then she doesn’t text me ( i get it they both don’t like each other but she wont tell me anything). When my bf is at work then she tells me stuff but otherwise im the one who makes plans, invite her somewhere, even bought her food when she had no money left. She have been supportive when me and my bf have been fighting.
We both have different lifestyles, she likes alcohol and partying and i like to be at home or go to cafes and drink coffee and enjoy the outdoors.

I have told her to please make plans with me also and call me over to her place to hang or sum. Only times she has called me out is to go to the cinema to watching horror movies but she knows i hate them alot. Im always telling her that. Sometimes she suprises me and comes to my work and buys me a can of red bull. We have this thing that we dont ask money for stuff, like if i buy her coffee then i don’t expect her to pay me back. Same for her.

Also she’s super close to her mom and every time when someone says something wrong she goes to tell her mom and im always so scared to say some things because I wouldn’t feel comfortable to see her mom while she knows all my life. Her mom is chill and very cool but i feel like my friend doesn’t really know such as things as boundaries.

PS- i celebrated ALONE when i sold my car because i felt it had to be celebrated anyways, doesnt matter if she doesnt want to do it with me. I did it alone.

She doesn’t own a car and always walks or goes with a bus, i was the “car” firend and always offered to pick her up or her packages and everything.

But every time i offer plans she usually always agrees, i have bought her some expensive gifts and ordered some food for her to pick up when she feels sad.
I just feel lately that she’s on my side only when its benefits her.. am i correct?

My family likes to make fun of my appearance a lot, especially since I look different or I change my looks from what I actually look like. For example, I wear makeup, dyed my hair red, have a nose and fake eyebrow piercing, and thinned my eyebrows significantly. I wouldn’t say I’m alt I just like to try new styles. And honestly, at least in mine and a lot of others opinions, I have glown up a lot and I guess I look more conventionally attractive.

Furthermore, for my parents and my older sister (25) constantly make fun of me for my very thin eyebrows and red hair. My sister likes to brag all the time about how she dyes her friends hairs and does their eyebrows and how she learned how to grill and how she parallel parks her friends cars. Basically, everytime she comes home she likes to tell my parents all the tasks she does and she genuinely sometimes acts and talks like she’s 5 years old and complains how ”no one asks for her ID anymore”. Anyways even if she does something rude or wrong, bcs she’s in college my parents like baby her and even forget what she’s done, yet they yell at me daily over simple things.

So today, while we were in the car my mom shows me this lady who is making her eyebrows thicker and saying how people desire thick eyebrows not thin and she said how my eyebrow lady is going to ask “where my eyebrows are” and lecture me. And I gave her a very straight answer that if she lectures I will say something back because honestly I’m fucking exhausted. Then we talk so much and sister looks at my eyebrows and says where are you eyebrows and like makes fun of how thin they are. Then I said well maybe you need to get rid of some eyebrow hairs because clearly you have a bunch (Ik it was mean but she had been making fun of me the whole week and honestly all i felt like doing was punching her in the face so that was the better alternative).

My parents also act like Im jealous of my sister all the time when I bring up the treatment she gets versus I do. For example, when I was a kid I had a very abusive nanny yet my sister would enable this. My sister would hear her make r3pe jokes about me and see the nanny hit me yet they would both laugh at me (my sister never got in trouble btw bcs apparnely she’s my “second“ mom) and even when I bring it up anymore, my mom says ”oh she was a kid. she made mistakes“. Btw almost an adult and the exact same age I was btw but I forgot I get yelled at daily!!!

There was also a stage and unfortunately sometimes it still happens where I would sh almost daily and everyone would make fun of me and even ask if I wanted something sharper to do it with. But my parents buy me stuff a lot, so I feel guilty complaining about them because my mom says she does all of this out of love. Idk:(

I know it's not abnormal but I haven't usually had such frequent panic attacks until recently and I think it might be due to the caffeine intake which again, hasn't been an issue until recently. Kind of stuck in a bind cause I've been dependent on coffee and caffeinated soda to help perk me up in the morning and long busy days.

I know the other alternative is exercise and healthy eating and I do that too like my job involves a lot of moving around and lifting heavy things and I try to limit my junk food intakes. However, I feel like I still need to the caffeine boost but I don't want to keep having to deal with these panic attacks that come and go at random times.

Not sure if this fits in this community but I’m not sure where else to share this.

Basically for background context my dad was arrested feb 2025 after I found CSA evidence in his office in our basement. I had a repressed memory when from my childhood seeing underage girls on his computer, but he gaslit me for years about it. He was then arrested shortly after I found this hard evidence.

His parents have been defending him from the start and paying for his criminal offenses, and bailed him out of jail. Part of his bail was to have NO electronics or devices that access the internet. Few weeks later I saw his Facebook account active, and sure enough it was him and he got arrested again. Of course they bailed him out once more until his 4 year sentence this year.

So I stopped contact with my grandparents earlier last year, but now since I turned 18 they have been sending me letters back and fourth, and I finally made the decision to speak to them. Despite it probably being a bad idea, I already know what they will do since they are narcissistic and mentally ill. Me and my mom have spectated for a while now that they are also predators, and they likely have CSA material in their house somewhere. I started speaking to them via text today, and I have came down with a plan: tomorrow I speak to them in person, I get invited to their house more, and eventually probably will get asked to watch their cat while they are away on vacay. I know this sounds impulsive and dangerous but I have always had an itch about people and it always turns out to be right.

I just need more advice on how to go on with this “plan”, I already bought pepper spray in case although I don’t think they will do anything violent, they just want emotional control over me.

I need advice. So the past couple of months I have had some money problems. My 2 dogs have been sick (one with eye and lung problems and the other with lumps and severe allergies and getting spayed) and the doctors have been amazing but it’s just so expensive (around 5k for both currently since this year). I also have been getting less hours from all 3 of my jobs leaving me with 33.2 hours combined a week and I’m earning minimum wage. I’m currently going to college and someone hit and run my car in a parking lot and broke my left back break light and bumper so I had to get them fixed (insurance said that they would pay for it but ended up saying it wasn’t covered in the end). That was around 1k. Gas prices as we know have been astronomical and diving from one job to another has been taking up so much gas. At this point after all my bills (rent+utilities+insurance+gas+college+vet+doctor visits+1 Netflix subscription with ads that I share and split with a friend+car payment+mechanic payment+dog food) I have been left with almost no money at the end to even buy food, gifts, repairs for broken items in my house, etc. at this point what do I do? I have nobody who can take my dogs. I’m in extreme debt. From what I know there is no financial assistance available in my area and no food banks near me. Who do I consult for help?

alright so I'm in college in different state from home and depends on my parents for me, but the thing I go home after like every month or two because somehow there are some holidays for a week or two and everyone goes home, my father books my ticket and I feel extreme guilt over it because AC tickets are expensive and we're not well off and I feel bad for making him spend this much amount for travel every month. He doesn't book general tickets which are cheap because of safety reasons since I travel alone.

help me feel okay with this or idk find any other solution

idk how to earn, I've tried to find freelancing job online but it's not working out. part time is not possible.

I'm also very homesick so staying in hostel when everyone has gone home makes me feel miserable.

this is making me so anxious all day

I have been juggling this thought around in my head a lot since I found out I was going to be a father. The due date isn’t until January so I still have plenty of time to think about this but I am going through it trying to figure out what is correct.

I think the best way to discuss this is to just give you my thoughts on my parents, explain some circumstances and examples from my childhood, then summarize where we’ve been since so you guys kind of understand my situation.

I have suspected my father has bipolar disorder since I found out what that was. He has always reacted in initial emotions, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen the man try to process a situation before just attacking it with whatever thoughts crossed his brain first. On top of this he is, objectively, not an intelligent man. I can’t find anyone in our shared past that thinks he was a smart guy, he was always just a dumb stubborn man. My mother was the opposite. She was very bright, had a future in the field of astronomy. She gave up on it when she was 20. She had found out she was pregnant with twins(me) and stopped pursuing her interest in space.

As I grew up I watched as my dad called all of the shots. I would listen to countless nights of my parents in screaming fights about -insert problem here- and then find my mom in tears after my father stormed out of the house. No matter what happened it was his way or the highway. From what I recall my mother was almost always correct, whether it was money or how to parent. But she couldn’t put her foot down. She always caved to his wishes.

Due to this we were poor as hell. My father was a felon long before I was born and always leaned on that as to why he couldn’t maintain a job. My mother always worked. When I was 14 she went back to college and was an honors student, at the same time she had 5 kids and a full time job also. My father was jobless, and when welfare threatened to cut us off he didn’t step up. So my mom had to quit school and get another job.

I was about 18 at the time, and I moved to my grandparents after a fight about the job thing. They lost the house they were renting so they moved in with my dad’s friend, John. John was a long haul trucker, found out later he was a pedophile, and he had sister wives who hated each other. Between the three of them they had 3 kids living there, and John would have his other 3 kids from his first marriage over all the time. So there were literally between 12 and 20 people in a 3 bedroom house all of the time.

Eventually John decided to leave the state we lived in to move to Oregon and start a marijuana farm. They bought a camper to do the road trip and my parents went with them, they took my two youngest brothers also. I haven’t seen any of them, except for my youngest brother, since. That was 7 years ago.

As soon as they arrived John and my father got into some sort of fight, so John took his family and moved back to where we are from. My parents were left out there with my siblings, no jobs or money. They lived in a camper in a church parking lot for a year, to this day they still live in a long term motel that’s paid for by a church. Also, my mother is staunchly anti-religion.

I didn’t speak to them after they left, they tore my brothers away from any family they had here and took them out there for what? A life of poverty, worse than the poverty they were already in.

A few years ago I called my mother and we spoke. I told her how I felt. I felt she was a weak willed person, and it upset me that not even her kids were enough to motivate her to make decisions that made sense. I told her she should’ve divorced my father years ago, and despite her not being a shitty person she just allocated my father to do it for her. I told her if she decided to divorce him I’d let her have one of my spare rooms and I’d help her build her life. The only thing she didn’t agree to was coming to live with me and finally divorcing my father.

A few more instances to describe my father.

- when I was 8 I had 2 staples in my head. Instead of getting them removed by a doctor, my father tried removing them with vice grips. He got them mostly out before my mother walked in the back door and saw me bleeding and crying, head pressed to the kitchen table while my father yanked on the last staple.

- when I was 23 my twin went to prison, he is a pedophile. While on trial he was released from bond and was telling my grandparents that he would be coming to a big family cookout. My Grama said no- for all of the obvious reasons. At the time my grand grandfather, the previously mentioned grandmas father, had passed away. When my father heard that my brother was denied going to a family party, he sent my Grama a text. All about how she is a shitty person, that my great grandpa was in heaven looking down at my Grama in disappointment shaking his head. Etc. my Grama lost her dad a month prior to this. My father had all the details and still did this.

- when I was 16 we got into a giant fight. I was paying his bills and he wouldn’t get a job, just stay at home and smoke weed. He stormed out mid fight and was gone 6 hours, came home and screamed at me that he had gone and applied at McDonald’s, bakeries, etc, basically anywhere he could walk to. He never got any of those jobs btw.

- when I was 18 another giant fight happened. My younger brothers(14 and 12 at the time) had gotten ina fight on the way home from school. Bunch of kids their age were involved. Instead of going to the school, those kids parents, or the cops, he wanted me to go beat up these kids. I was 18, he wanted me to track down 3-4 kids between the ages of 12 and 14 and beat the shit out of them. Of course I refused. Big big fight. Finally stopped when I offered to fight my father instead, he didn’t want to do that as he had a bad back and I’m sure he knew I would’ve gone straight for it.

- one of my brothers who is still out there with them, he’s 20 now, told me this the other day. My father(58) is experiencing ED. My mother apparently handled her own business, and when my father found out he had a 2-3 days crash out almost non stop fight with my mother about it. Def TMI but helps to show my father’s mindset has not changed yet.

So writing this out I understand that my father is kind of the devil. He will never be in my kids lives. My mother tho, she still a sweet and kind person. She’s a victim of his and she won’t save herself. Every one of us in the family have offered her lodging and financial help, anything as long as my father isn’t involved. She still won’t leave. I think that me having a kid might change her stance, this is the only opportunity she will have to have grandkids, I’m convinced.

If there’s a way to allow it, should I allow my mom into my kid’s life? Shouldn’t I? Insight could help me a lot

I (21f) and my g.f (20f) adopted a dog from a family member that didn’t want him anymore due to having too many pets already. I have 2 dogs at home, one being the dog I’ve had since I was 8. The other we’ve had since she was a puppy, she’s 4.

The dog we adopted (Andie) is so sweet. He was 4 months when we took him in, and he is now 6 months. I adore him! I take great care of him and have never had an issue with responsibility. He’s a medium sized dog and I take him on runs everyday, as well as brush him daily to keep him from shedding in the house.

However, him being a medium sized dog clashes with the fact that my other 2 dogs are 5 pound each. When we adopted Andie, he was very small, the same size as my other 2. Seeing as he was a rescue, we didn’t know the breed and didn’t think he would get much bigger, but he more than doubled in size.

He is very high energy and often hurts the other 2 small dogs unintentionally during play. Because of this, they are scared of him. My family and I keep them separated most of the time, Andie stays in our room while the 2 girl dogs free roam in the house. When switch back and forth with who gets to free roam, but most of the time, they aren’t out together unless someone is holding the littlest one (Andie targets her for play, she gets very scared)

Because they clash personality wise, Andie has to be in a crate some of the time/if I’m not home. When I am home, he doesn’t get to spend very much time outside (aside from daily 0.5/1 mile run) because our backyard is not fenced.

It makes me sad for him because I want him to have other dogs to play with and roam outside with, but I don’t have many options.

My mom came into my room earlier today and asked if I’d considered giving Andie to a family more equipped for him (another medium-sized dog, fenced backyard, etc.) She thinks he doesn’t have the best quality of life that he could because he has to spend a few hours a day caged. I agree and wish he didn’t have to, but Andie has grown on me!! He sleeps next to me every night. We cuddle during the day and play, we have fun together, but he is often confined to my room or his crate unless I’m taking him out.

Should I help find him a better home? I would be devastated to see him go because I luv him unconditionally, but I also what him to be happy. Any way I could keep him while also improving his quality of life?

I appreciate any help or advice. 🥰