r/needadvice

Frame rate, input lag, color calibration, hdr, these bring me anxiety. I really enjoy playing video games but I basiclly can't anymore. Its been my main hobby my entire life, I dont want to let to go but its overwhelminly stressful playing any. I'm constantly checking input and frames. None of my devices can run perfectly theres always a big issue with it. Some of it makes no sense. My phone cant really run minecraft dispite other people with a weaker phone playing just fine.

I sprained my ankle at work. I’m off work for at least a month and I’m going to go crazy with boredom soon. I’m already day 4 of no work (6 days consecutive with the weekend). My face dropped when the dr told me I’d be off for at least a month. I work construction, I’m hoping my company can bring me into the office so I have something to do at least.

Need suggestions on what I can do to pass the time. I’ll be going to physical therapy 3x a week. Going to the gym and doing what I can within reason.

What do people do during the week during the 9-5 if they’re not at work?

Hi all, for context I have some anxiety and been trying to get better in life. I recently lost ~70kg (154lbs), taking a bit more stuff on at work, and started martial arts to gain a bit more confidence all over.

Issue is at martial arts I've got to the point where they want me to start training others. In some ways it may be good as I get some leadership skills and confidence. But its kind of obvious that when I do it I don't really act as a "leader/trainer" and partly its because tbh I'm not sure if I want to, I have to pay for training just to teach others.... with them saying "oh its good for you to understand the art in a different way". But then lowkey that could just be my anxiousness saying "nah bro don't do hard stuff".

Because of this, I noticed I think the two trainers are trying to "push me into confidence" and I'm being asked to go to this secondary class (weekend). I went to it and honestly felt a bit weirded out. They were training and the main trainer was like "oh come shake the other guys hand" so I did, then he's like "oh good eye contact...". And when leaving he's like "go shake their hand to say good bye", "go on" I felt like some kid saying bye to a parents friend.

I don't know I'll be honest I already have 1 training a week, and I kind of went with the attitude that I wanting to go home. losing hours on the weekend sucks and tbh I found the comments kind of weird, I know the guy and I know he's trying to do it from a good place.

But its a bit like I want to say hi "I don't want to be a trainer, I don't see this hobby as that serious and I have other shit I want to do on the weekend". While at the same time, these people are like friends, we go drinking occasionally dinners etc. and it could just be my anxiety talking, so I was hoping to get others advice and views.

Thanks so much!

I don't know what to do because I'm financially dependent on my mom and she pays for my university ( which costs a lot) but she keeps abusing me. I'll say right away that I don't have any contact with my father. After my younger sister was born, our relationship got really bad. My sister is 7, I'm 19 yrs. During arguments my mother always threatens to send me to live with my grandparents at the village in the montains. I love them very much and we have a great relationship but they live in super small village, there no people my age and everything is very far away from there. I won't describe every situation because it will take a lot of time, but there are few examples.
Recently we were travelling and we stayed at the hotel. It was time for us to leave and we were packing our things, and I wanted to turn on air conditioner bc it was super hot and | always get sick in the heat. To do that I moved some of her bags aside and wanted to climb onto a chair because the air conditioner remote control stopped working. She got angry at me for moving her bags and slapped my thigh with full force. I got angry and said to her "Would you like if I did that to you?".
She said to me "Go ahead and hit me back". I slapped her back on the thigh. She got very offended and stopped talking to me for like ~12 hours. I had to say sorry, not because I was actually sorry but because I depend on her.
Even though I'm over 18 I can't work because she
constantly asks me to look after my sister. For half of the summer or more, 1 was babysitting her from morning to 5-6 PM. She also expects me to take her to school starting and September and than pick her up from school( my classes at university are in the evening).
Another situation just happened. We were standing in the check in counter at the airport business class. My sister likes to annoy me for fun( it's not fun at all for me but nobody cares) so she started kicking me, pulled my pants down, started stepping on me- she knows she won't get in trouble for that, but if I do something about it my mom would start yelling at me. I couldn't take it anymore, because I've already told her about 10 times that I don't like that and I want her to stop so I spanked her. My mother immediatly started yelling at me, telling me to live her alone. She got really aggressive after that because my mom's yelling made her think that she is right, my sister started getting on my nerves even harder than before so! spanked her again. My mother started yelling harder at me, telling me that she's just a child etc..and my sister decided to take a revenge on me (I guess) so she kicked my leg with her leg I got mad at her and kicked her back like she did it( not hard because I still understand that she is a child). My mother saw it and became furious. She kicked me back in the led woth her leg with all her strength and it was painful…After that, she started telling me that as soon as we got home I have to live for my grandparents place, that she’ll buy me a ticket and send me there.
I have absolutely no idea what to even do. My grandparents can’t help me with money because they are not rich at all and they wouldn’t be able to give me more than 50$ a month. I know she won’t actually kick me out, but I’m so tired of how she treats me.. About two hours later, she came up to me and said that we were both wrong, that hitting a child is not allowed. She admitted that she lost her temper, but didn't apologize. I don't even want to talk to her. Why is a child allowed to hit me, pull my clothes off in front of everyone, and bully me, but I'm not allowed to spank her on the butt?

Sorry if this is too long but my grandpa has an old car and it's air conditioning recently broke (mind you he had 2 cars and decided to sell the newer/low mileage/much more reliable car to keep this car which air conditioning just failed). As a result he now asks me to drive one of my cars so he can go to his Doctor appointments in this hot summer. I have a sports car and an old hybrid, he initially insisted he drives my sports car since he knows I commute on weekdays driving the old hybrid (not happening). Not wanting to sound like an asshole, I told him he can take the hybrid as I will just take the sports car this workday. He takes the hybrid at around 11am for his Doctor appointment and doesn't come back until 8pm with a shitton of groceries. The thing that really irritates me is that he has a habit of destroying everything that he touches. When he comes back, the tires hit a curb because he didn't bother to slow down fast enough. I immediately notice the alignment is not the same. On top of this, I also immediately notice the driver door is super loose and not as firm when opening/closing as it was before (I watched the camera and he literally folded the door outward while trying to get out, he is a huge guy). He greeted me in the evening saying that he bought insurance for a year which covers my hybrid that he just drove and mentioned how he plans on taking it again this week for another doctors appointment. How do I nope out of this without sounding like an asshole?

i’m 19 but i have strict parents and i have never even gone to a concert without them before. but now that i’m in college, the opportunity has arisen- there’s a concert my friend and i would like to go to but it’s on a school night and my parents were not pleased with that when i brought it up to them. i know im technically a grown adult and this probably sounds silly bc any other person my age would do whatever they want, but i just am afraid of getting in trouble with them especially since i rely on them financially 😭 now the thing is- my friend already bought tickets for both of us just to secure a chance of us going, before i really had time to think it over how id pull it off. i go to college upstate ny and the concert would be in the city (home for me) so i would have to take the bus and miss like two days of class and a shift of my on campus job, i feel especially guilty abt that and if i can catch up on work.

i am able to stay with the friend at her house and everything so that i dont have to tell my parents im missing school but im just really nervous abt running into my parents while im in the city and just overall terrified how they’d react if they ever found out. at this point im considering not going and just selling the ticket, i had to do this with another concert i had hoped to go to and it was on the weekend but id be going alone and i knew my parents would still disapprove. i hate that they still control my life but im just feeling super guilty about going behind their back (and about missing class too). also they pay my tuition so adds another layer of guilt and afraid of ruining that. any advice?

I’m going on a second date this week with this girl. She texted me today to confirm and sounded still very much interested. I checked Hinge and saw that her profile is no longer there. Was I unmatched? How to tell the difference between unmatched and deleted account? Should I ask her about it on our second date?

For context I'm 15M and for all my life it was my parents that decided my haircut: either just short hair or a bad combination of a side part + bowl cut. I didn't really mind it but since I'm a teen now, I wanna boost my confidence by having a better haircut.

I'm thinking of booking a cut in a different barber near my house, tell them that im hanging out with a friend and just do the cut. The problem is the aftermath... how do i tell that i changed: do I send a message, do I just come home with a different haircut??? Should I really sneak to a different barbershop?

I (24M) made an appointment at a hair salon that I went to as a kid/teen because the stylists are really good and I needed to fix a really bad haircut. In short, I missed the appointment and need to pay a $75 fee. I needed to call or text them back with my card number and I haven’t yet and it’s been about a week and a half. I’ve been having some mental health issues that I won’t go into much detail about because I’m not looking for sympathy, but I do want to give the context that that’s the reason I haven’t reached out. I have trouble with isolation and dissociation so I don’t realize the time is going by. It causes a lot of problems and gets me in situations like this a lot. I don’t know what to say at this point, they really liked me which is part of the reason I haven’t reached out because I know this is wrong and I’m ashamed of myself. I’m afraid to tell the truth because it’s so stupid. Does anyone have any advice on what to do or say?

Hi all. I wasn't exactly sure if this counted as a flair for friendships or something else so hopefully other is right haha. Anyways.

I really only use reddit to post to a group about a car I own so I'm feeling very vulnerable about this. My (20f) 21st birthday is a couple weeks ago and I'm not feeling great about it like I think I should. My birthdays have been overshadowed for a long time. For context, my maternal grandmother passed very suddenly, two days before my 13th birthday. That birthday was of course, very hard on myself and my family and I understood that. However, since then, her side of the family has barely made an effort to show up for my birthdays and my dad's side of the family lives out of state. Because of this, the years that followed I only felt truly seen on my birthdays by my dad and only ever got a present from my dad.

It's safe to say I've struggled with my birthdays for a very obvious reason but this one is different. Last year, my partners parents (and him) made me feel the most seen I've ever felt on my birthday and it was absolutely wonderful. I will note though that his grandma's birthday is two days after mine. This year said Grandma turns 94 and so his family is basically having a family reunion for it. With that being said, my birthday has been entirely brushed under the rug because of it. I was basically told to figure it out myself this year by his family, who has been my home the last two years.

However. As hurt as I feel, I do understand what they're doing for his grandma and am not asking for advice on that. I want some birthday advice on how to make my 21st good for myself because I feel like for once I deserve for my milestone birthday to be about me. I don't really have close friends. However, Ive made friends with 4-5 other girls over the last year. Is it worth sending an evite to those girls for a small party the Friday night after my birthday (since my bday is a Wednesday)? Ive always been the "forgotten" friend so I'm anxious that if I try that no one will show up like normal. And it's that feeling that's making me dread my birthday so much again.

If I'm honest, Im feeling really hopeless about my birthday but I want to try to make something work because I feel like for once I deserve a birthday where I don't spend all day wondering if anyone but my partner or dad even thought about me. I would just appreciate some tips and advice on how to make my birthday work out. And maybe some advice on how to host a get together because I've never done it? Thank you for listening to my little rant, and thank you in advance for any advice (:

Junior year I had a job and a plan for the future, but my parents tore it all down, saying that we we're going to moving to their home country Thailand. Having no other choice than to go homeless if I stayed in the U.S., I decided to go with them after graduating. After senior year I quit my job and we all moved to Thailand, but it turns out that various promises my parents made were false. They said I would be able to get a job and go to college just fine, but I can't really do either of those! I don't speak much of the language here and they wanted me to lie about the country I reside in on work applications, which would cause SO MANY issues. And I can't go to college because I don't have money. My parents have decided to live off of social security and not work either, so we're also tight on money, and they refuse to help me pay for college.

I want to move back to the U.S. I actually have opportunities there, but my long-time friend said that they won't be able to roommate up for at least a year.

I've been thinking about doing art commissions and content creation but I don't know if I'm good enough, or if I'd be the one in one million to make it.

I want to go to college, I want to work, and I really want to cut off my parents and be independent! I just. I don't know what to do. ANY advice would be greatly appreciated! Please ask questions if you have any.

My friends are having a sweet sixteen birthday party this Saturday and my wife and I are completely clueless! We’re both in our fifties don’t have any kids if our own and have never been to one of these. What’s an appropriate gift? I thought four or five hundred bucks in an envelope but my wife said that’s ridiculous, that I suggested something classic like a pair or pearl earrings, that suggestion also got crushed. So what’s a “cool” nice gift that’s not to over the top but not to boring either?

I had the perfect apartment set up for me to take i had extreme 10/10 anxiety and didnt take it. My sublease was up I was homeless prior (couches, hotel, car never street) so i was so scared to go back. I was scared it was wrong in someway so i didnt sign on move in day. I knew jt was wrong. I have never done something like that in my life ever. Now im homeless and stress has been so high the last 4 days i did start eating and sleeping again which was nearly impossible those first 4 days. I was in shock. I am so mad at myself. Its the 17th so i doubt anything new will show up. The apartment is gone too they got someone that same day to take it. My home was so important too me. Im trying to be positive but living out of a bag is hell and i had clear plans and goals i was gonna do once i got in that now i cant.

I really cant come back from this one. Idk how to handle this next chapter it was so bad before. I hated how it stopped my life when your honeless its hard to work on goals bc sleeping every night is really your number one. I sidnt think this would happen to me.

I will not go to a shelter as i am a 23 yr old girl and will be hurt by others there and it would make my anxiety worse.

I cant believe i did this to myself. I truly ruined my life i have never done that. Idk how to come back and it will never be as good as it could of been. Im gonna have to lean on friends again which will cut ties. Im so heart broken. Im packing up my sublease today:( I was ready ro start really living now im back in it

(16F) I hope this post doesn't break any rules or anything. Anyways my dad is addicted to several drugs like mushrooms, toad extracts (Which is DMT I think?) and ecstasy. I know the exact names of the things me and my sibling and have found in his room and his distributor though I don't feel like being murdered or anything so I won't mention their name. He's been taking these for a while now and it really hurts me when I find out that he's been using. I don't know what to do. I really hate foster care.

Went to an event hosted by a relative's significant other. They paid for the catering, etc...so they decided who came. One of the teens wanted there friends to come along (They over 18). Still live under the parents roof so we didn't want to cause any issues.

The parents said yes, it's fine in the beginning. Two hours later, after the event started we were told no they couldn't come. We had already catered for them and saw the parents over the weekend, who said all was good.

We later found out that one parent was upset they weren't included when it legitimately was a gathering for our *blood* relatives. We only included their children because the kids wanted friends on the day, as the majority of the kids are extremely young, which is fair. This parent apparently spoke about us to other members at our shared community gathering. Where things escalated. This one parent started turning on everyone and saying hurtful things to anyone close by.

My relatives are upset with this parent for how they handled the situation and no longer want to go to the gathering location. They feel extremely uncomfortable and would have preferred this parent expressed their discomfort from the beginning. This parent got so angry they shouted at everybody and made a huge scene (people not related). They even got up and left everybody there that came him (even his wife) and they had to arrange their own transport home. That's how badly this whole situation affected him. This specific parent isn't easy to deal with because they can be vulgar, brash, loud and domineering no matter whose in charge they have to be the center of attention which is the very reason they weren't invited.

I commute about 45 minutes each way to work, and I can’t help but get road rage almost every time I drive. It’s a combination of people who drive with their highbeams on 24/7 (today across from my red light a Tesla just sat blinding me, I flashed my lights at them, and when they attempted to flash back you just see the fog lights turn on and off because these new cars have these auto highbeams that never work right, or they are just oblivious, or it’s intentional. But it feels like every month there is more of it. Then you get the people in the fast lane going exactly the speed limit being passed by multiple cars in the right lane.
Those are my main triggers. Like how hard is it to drive without highbeams and just move over when you are causing traffic….

I (M 17 if that’s relevant) was just on the toilet when all of a sudden it was like I had just been pulled from the past? It was like it was just December 2019 and I was in my old bedroom writing in my diary and I could smell the year if that makes sense and then all of a sudden I was in the toilet and I was regaining memories of the last 7 years as if I hadn’t lived them myself? I started panicking and I wanted to text someone about it but I don’t want my friends to think I’m crazy. Please help me, I’m so so scared.

I’ll answer any necessary questions just please please please tell me what’s going on, I feel like I’m going to be sick

Okay so, I left Islam back in December after being a niqabi for years and overall very involved. Ever since I feel like there’s just no purpose for me in life and there’s no reason to do anything and I dunno it’s very hard.

like, Islam isn’t just a belief system but an entire way of life. Leaving and deconstructing that is extremely hard but what’s harder is trying to find something to fill that void. I feel like all I do most days is work, eat, sleep, repeat and there’s nothing that makes me feel like I am doing anything good in life and I often wonder if I’m just going to die anyways then why bother trying to do anything at all?

In other ways it’s been freeing…I’ve redone my wardrobe, gotten a new job, got my own apartment, etc and can genuinely just do what I want but sometimes I miss the guidelines and rules too. Sometimes I miss simply knowing my purpose in life and what was expected of me and how to dress and such. Other days it’s awesome being able to wear whatever but that guilt doesn’t fully leave from simply wearing a t shirt.

Everyday I see people living their lives and laughing and spending time with people and I can’t help but think “how can they be so happy? what is there to be happy about?”

i don’t know what there is to truly live for and I don’t believe in god or an afterlife anymore, not really. so what’s the point? how do I find a point?

If this post isn't allowed just delete, i don't think it's breaking any rules but yk I might be stupid lol

So I just ended up buying something off of someone and as I'm preparing it to smoke, I notice little shiny fibers throughout all of it and I'm wondering if this stuff is safe to use.. it seemed pretty dang affordable so I probably should've been a little wary but idk, I thought I'd ask somewhere people might have any idea

And yes, It is absolutely legal for me to have this, I live in a legal state

i had no where to ask for help so here we go

hi, im 19 and i have two very close friends. M19, I'll call him Jay and F18, call her Fae (not real names). I hold them very dear to my heart and we all share similar interests.

The problem is this, a long time ago while Fae was busy with school, me and Jay managed to bond over our interests and we loved talking to each other about it. At one point, Fae started having a problem with everything and she'd get mad at the simplest things we do. We could not even hang out or play games without her because she would get angry.

We called her out on it, and she has stopped that behavior and is getting better. I can definitely tell she is trying to be better. My big problem is this. Whenever she tries to talk about that same interest with us, I feel this repulsion around her and can't help it. I know it would be called something like jealousy and possessiveness with the way she's bonding with Jay?

I also believe it's because she's said a lot of hurtful things to me in the past due to it aswell. She would say mean things to me and repeatedly get upset that I'd have to walk on eggshell around her. It was very uncomfortable.

I believe I forgave her already, but I don't think I can see past that disgusted feeling I have when she tries to join in. It's very hard for me to tell myself that it's okay. I am very well aware I'm jealous and posessive of Jay, but I cannot for the life of me control this feeling, and I hate how much of a horrible person it makes me feel.

My question is, how do I get past this feeling? Do I talk to them about it in all honesty? Do I pull away from both of them and try to better myself? I've been considering trying to distance myself away so I can atleast get better because I know it's my fault and not hers. Please help me.