r/needadvice

I’m in an unfortunate situation where my neice is about to lose her father from a terminal illness. She’s only 11, is a strong character and very mature for her age. She understands what is going on, and has been receiving counselling. She was upset the other night asking things like who will walk me down the aisle, and resenting the fact that it’s her father that’s become unwell and “why him”.
What else can I do or say to support her at this time?

To sum up, we met on reddit and started calling on discord. Everything seemed perfect, we got along pretty well and played games together.

Last night, while we were on call, her phone started glitching out while we were exchanging our numbers. Then the call hung up and she disappeared.

The messages i sent her through discord don't go through neither does through reddit. Both account seemed to have disappeared a few minutes later she disappear from our call. I contacted her to her phone number through Imessage and she read the first few messages and then the rest only got delivered. I tried calling her but the call goes to "User Busy."

When I tried looking her up through my other account her user on Discord and Reddit still exist, and I was able to send her a friend request. So I don't know if she blocked me everywhere or if her email/accounts got compromised and they closed.

We got along really well, and she didn't seem to dislike me either. We had a lot of fun. Now its been almost a whole day and no news from her. I tried calling her the following morning but same answer "User Busy." I just know her name, but forgot her last name, and I know what her job is.

What should I do? We did not exchange other socials, and I don't know if she can find me. What do you think happened?

Ive always found myself to be a very insightful and empathetic person. I have recently just become so exhausted by the world and everything going on, its very hard to not feel hopeless.

It’s easy for people to tell me to just ignore it, but I find that to be difficult. Living in America, I genuinely care about my country and my peers. Climate change, wars, viruses, politics, data centers, AI have just been weighing on me heavily because I know there is nothing I can do. My vote doesn’t matter because no matter who is in office nothing will ever change. Politics aside, the world just seems hellbent on destroying itself and that doesn’t sit right with me. Every news story just goes 6 levels of bleak higher.

I guess my first thought is to just volunteer locally at a homeless shelter or animal shelter, but I feel like seeing how those people need genuine help and will never get it will make me feel worse.

My personal life is fine but not without issue. I work a fine job and have hobbies and friends, but maybe its my need for control that just makes it all feel pointless.

Anyone here deal with this? How do you change your perspective? I dont want to feel this way anymore

Five of my coworkers who I have hanged out with before are planning a hang out without me. We are in the same department so I have heard bits and pieces of their plans here and there. They don't have a full blown discussion infront of me.

At first I thought it was a couple thing but they've also asked the colleague who is also single either than me.

There's a chance they didn't ask me because I live more than a hour away from where they all live but I would have appreciated it if they asked me despite knowing the answer would be no just to make me feel included.

Right now I'm not part of any conversation and the fact they are hiding the plan from me hurts me the most.

I don't know if what they are doing is reasonable or not but I have no idea how I should react to the situation at work.

For as long as I can remember, my dream uni was imperial. Now, i have been working hard but junior year was rough. I found it hard to cope, now my school will not allow me to take calc bc (further maths). Imperial needs calc bc for biomedical engineering MeNg which is what i want to apply for. Now, i can apply for biology with calc ab (regular maths a level), but it is a bsc and not engineering.

Because of this, i decided because of where my math level is i will not pursue bc calc, instead, focus on crushing ab. Now, many many other schools such as queen mary, ucl, sheffield.. etc etc all allow ab to be a prerequisite. I have decided that my mental state and math ability is best suited for this route, especially since i am en route for a formal diagnosis of anxiety/adhd, not sure yet.

Now, how am i supposed to tell my parents, that all of their hard work has gotten nothing in return. Im not going to imperial. How do i tell them im not the best? I am indian so if that provides any context. But i am struggling deeply with this, and i dont know if i can tell them without crushing them.

My brother is 11. I'm 18. My mother says he doesn't need therapy. He what I assume is that he is addicted to technology. Whenever he is allowed to play for an hour, he plays two. The only reward for studying or anything is electronics. He does virtually nothing but play or watch stuff. Doesn't play with toys. Doesn't meet with friends that often, and when he does, he usually also plays games with them. I have no problem with some gaming, I think it can be fun. The problem is, he gets violent when those devices are restricted or taken away. He has no problem cursing, screaming, insulting or even hitting me and my mom. He regrets it after, cries, begs for forgiveness. I took his phone today (he stayed at home because he had temperature in the morning). He got very violent. I have bruises on my arms now. I don't know what to do with him anymore. My mom blames me for taking his things. He lets him waste his life. He is 11, I can't hit him back, report or blame him. I don't know what to do, and it's still a few months till I depart to college. I feel so helpless and lost.

Hi, I've tried to inflation-proof and grow my (tiny) savings by investing them into ETFs. Three years later, and a lot of stress and hand-wringing as the numbers swung up and down, I'm still a little ahead (not of inflation, I'm pretty sure, but of the starting amount) and I've realized the stock market is Not For Me. I just don't have the tolerance for this kind of passive risk, and am going to either have to bite the bullet (I'm losing badly right now, another week like this and I'd have broken even without considering inflation) or wait until my stuff does a little better for a while and GTFO with a lesser sting.

Even the savings accounts at the bank I get my check in I have secondary savings in make my nerves itch. I've also considered buying gold, but I really don't like the people pushing that online and also, as with any well-performing asset, the right time to get into that was however many years ago, if I buy now I'm just burning some of the money. I already did that same thing with all the ETF I ever touched and am kicking myself.

Obviously, if I can't handle stocks, I won't handle starting a business, not that I've saved enough for that.

What else can I do to inflation-proof or grow my money a bit? Ultimate goal is to have to worry about money as little as possible (ironically, I was less worried about it when I was unemployed for a long time and thought I was screwed and surely going to die on the street).

Edit: I don't knowingly entertain anything to do with AI slop.

Edit 2: Thanks for nothing. I wasn't looking for anyone to defend the hegemonic financial system to me or nag me to learn more about it and be patient with it, but for ways around it.

I’m in university, so I’m fairly new to solely living with and relying on my peers.

I’ve been in a mild-moderate bulimia relapse for months now and it’s looking like I’ll be struggling to various degrees for a long time.

Is it worth telling my close friends? Or should I just carry on as usual without mentioning it?

I’m also not sure what I would even say if I was going to open up. My friends are all aware that I’ve had other metal health struggles in the past, but since eating disorders are a very active illness I feel like opening up would be very different.

My friend got mad at me because I changed the name of the gc and I called him to unkick me and he said "yk the friend group does not like you" and I asked my friends they said they liked me (no diddy) so should I go low contact for him lieing

Hi There,

I have some family on my step mums side, who have invited us up to their place for a few days. However I feel quite hesitant about this as these family members are completely unvaccinated, no shots or vaccinations for anything at all.

My therapist told me that I have nothing to worry about, as I’m vaccinated so therefore it will cancel it out, but I think that’s misinformation. I also have a weak immune system and get sick easily, and my biological mum (who isn’t going on the trip, but I live at home with her) is slightly immunocompromised and I don’t want to give her something.

I know it’s my own personal choice to make, but what would you do? I really do want to meet my step mums side of the family, and it’s only 3 days however I’m not sure if it’s selfish to put my mums health at risk like that.

Would appreciate any thoughts or ideas on how I can navigate it. Thanks so much!

hoping for advice from someone who has rented in the uk before because I’m stressed about it

Im 14f, and became an atheist at age 10, I was born into a Shi'a Muslim family. I told my parents and 9 yo sister about my athiesm at age 12. Which made them vissibly upset but they havent told any relatives or friends. And I have these childhood friends in india, who I last saw at age 7(I met one of them at age 3, the other at age 6) but now our moms talk to each other on the phone to us and we last spoke to each other on phone at age 9, that's all, and this summer I'm going to see them IN PERSON, and am planning to keep my athiesm and level 1 autism and me being a tomboy a secret. But I'm worried they may find out and it could potentially be a big deal since I remember ONE of my friends(who comes from a muslim family and is Muslim herself) had a mom who would freak the heck about religion a lot, like shouting at me when I didn't pray properly. and she may tell my friend to stop talking to me. What do I do if they find out any of those things about me? And I also have this maternal grandma who'll freak the hell out about my athiesm since I know at age 9 when I was simply not praying enough she said to not talk to her, she'll probably get EXTRA mad over this. What do I do about THAT? Edit: I Know this seems a bit overdramatic, like I'm not loosing rights or anything if they find out, but why I feel otherwise is cuz these are people who I GREW UP with, I feel love for them and feel hurt about the risk that they may cut me off for this.

This has been the third time in my life I’ve encountered another female threatening to stab me, also officially diagnosed with BPD.

Uhm what the actual f?

I tend to be a people pleaser and tend to get along with people(or at least that’s what I think). But every time I’ve said no to something that made me uncomfortable or did something these specific individuals didn’t want me to do, I’ve been threatened to be stabbed.

Now these are like absolutely ordinary people on the outside. Like some of them are laboratory technicians or medical scribes or cafe baristas who get along with people generally, have a big social media following and appear to be absolutely “normal” up until the whole “I feel like I’m going stab you” phrase comes up. One of the worst ones was when a chick was describing how she’d cut off parts of my genitals and etc.

But hasn’t happened yet. Yet.

Should I take it seriously? How do I report this verbal threats? What do I do?

(24M) Not exactly a NEET, but i'm on hard place now. Lost my dream job last year,. While i don't get a job again, i try to fill my mind. I spend my days reading the books i like, studying , and doing cardio at the park. Sometimes i play games, but not more than 2 hours. I've just finished college last year.

I'm re- studying Pharmacology and Chemistry at home, by reading books, because i yearn to get a job on the chemical companies from my area, and they often give some exam during the interview, so i need to be intellectually repared. It is really tiresome, my brain aches after that, and i'm mentally drained and too tired to do anything else.

I dont go to the gym or sports because it's enjoyable for me, and i don't feel motivated. My physical health is A-okay though , because of the cardio and eating clean. But sometimes i think i could do more and feel like a loser for not doing a lot of things, like some i knew that had time to work, play soccer, go to the gym, play games, play guitar, read books, go to a dinner with girlfriend, and etc. My parents are disappointed with me, but Heaven Knows i tried to be a good son and toe the line, being distant from drugs, clubbing friends and other distractions like that. Life happened.

I would like to know, how be more "productive"? How not feel like you' re doing less?

For reference this is in the indian context, indian = republic of india; country in south asia

I'm passionate about science, I don't care much for medicine, but I can appreciate

being a MSL (medical science liaison) maybe a physician-researcher, that, life sciences consulting, bioinformatics, genetic sciences and a backup in biotech + IP law. I want to do PCB because it's slightly easier for me, and I want to do NIOS math, so that I know math and perhaps clear some easier exams. I don't plan to do more than just pass NIOS math. I'm also open to PharmaD is all else fails and pivot to regulatory affairs/MSL eventually. NEET/IMAT are still on the table for me, but I understand they are risky.

To make it more clear, I want a [b.tech}  biotech/bioinfo etc, etc. Like via VIT or Manipal etc,

However, I've noticed, and seen of late, people calling and considering PCB risky, and that it kills career chances if one doesn't 'crack' NEET and get into an MBBS or BDS program, (since, AYUSH and Veterinary sciences are risky, and tbh, so is medicine without a PG)

So, essentially, do I take

PCB (CBSE/TSBIE) + Math NIOS or PCM (CBSE/TSBIE) + Biology NIOS for my career goals?

thank you

He doesn't have a phone, won't answer messages, all his social media is dead & didn't tell any of us (other friend's) that he graduated. We were talking quite a bit and spending time together before he dropped off but I noticed he was pretty down before. I'm friends with his sisters & one thinks he's depressed, which I do as well, and the other thinks he just has senioritis. I'm not sure if I just wait. I don't want to be overbearing but I really miss him. Is it appropriate to reach out in this situation or is that not the best way to proceed?

I need outside opinions because I can't tell anymore.

Quick background. I'm 20, going into my third year at a local university studying sociology and anthropology. First generation college student, working about 24 hours a week as a CNA. Before this I spent some time at another university in the sate of Massachusetts until I had a manic episode my first semester there (I have bipolar disorder), medically withdrew, and lost most of my friends from that period. Took about eight months off, came back to school where am at, and had a really strong recovery semester. honors list, around a 3.85.

I applied to transfer to Brown and BU for fall 2026. Spent months on those applications. Brown rejected me last Wednesday. BU hasn't decided yet but I'm preparing for a no, mostly because of the financial side. I needed it to be either cheaper than what I'm paying now or close to a full ride, and that's a long shot at BU.

Here's where I'm at. I have two projects I actually care about. One is called Project Shibboleth, an analysis of how fan verification systems on Ticketmaster and Spotify code class as authenticity. The other is EccoMuse, a music blend app where fans pay for artists' taste recommendations. It has working code and lives at eccomuse.com. I've also been running a bilingual podcast under a pen name for a couple of years now.

The plan I'm considering: stay enrolled through fall semester, use the summer and fall to build income through online consultancy (I have podcast production experience) and possibly prediction market trading. Build out a beta of Shibboleth in that same window. If those things actually work, drop out before the spring semester and move to NYC to build the company full time.

Why NYC: more artists per capita than anywhere else, more VCs and angel investors, and I think in-person relationships beat online ones for the kind of company I'm trying to build, its also closer to where I live... Massachusetts.

Why I think this might be the right move. I'm in my third year and I don't want to keep going just to get a diploma. I want to actually build something meaningful, something that I actually care about and can solve problems. I don't want to look back at this time in my life and wished I had executed my plan to trust myself and my plans to pursue my dreams of building a company that I believe will bring value to the world.

My local uni doesn't have the resources for what I want to do; no real founder programs, the career fairs are mostly nonprofits and unpaid internships. My recovery period from the manic episode is actually when I came up with most of these projects, so I have a sense that I produce best when something is at stake, not to say that I'm going to put myself in a position where I enter another manic episode the move to NYC is going to be funded by the money I generate though prediction market trading and online consultancy. I wouldn't move to NYC unless I have the funding to move to NYC, I wouldn't put myself in a difficult financial situation.

Why I think this might be a terrible idea. My parents are Haitian and very strict. They would say no if I told them I was dropping out to build a startup, no version of that conversation goes well. The plan I've been considering involves telling them I'm moving to NYC to work for a company that I'm not actually working for. I know how that sounds.

I also have bipolar disorder and I'm aware that big life decisions made after a major rejection are not always the most stable ones. I haven't told my psychiatrist and therapist about this plan yet because I'm pretty sure they'd be worried. My therapist appointment is Wednesday and I'll bring it up there.

Cost is a real unknown. I haven't actually run the numbers on NYC rent or how long I could survive without a real job. The consulting and prediction markets income idea is more of a sketch than a plan right now.

I'm also aware that I've been pivoting. Plan A was Brown. Plan B was BU. Now I'm on Plan C. I don't know if this is me adapting or me running from something.

What I'd want from anyone reading this:

• If you considered dropping out of college to build something, what made you stay or leave? What do you wish you'd known?
• If you have bipolar disorder, am I underestimating the risk of putting myself under this kind of pressure?
• If you moved to NYC for ambition reasons, was it worth it? Was the loneliness real?
• If you have strict immigrant parents, how did you handle telling them about a path they wouldn't approve of?

I'm looking for the strongest case against this. If you think I'm being stupid, I'd rather hear it now than in six months.

For me it’s always the left shoulder. I swear, i keep readjusting it every 20 seconds and it drives me insane 😭

Why does this happen? Is it posture, uneven shoulders, the way you walk, or what? And is there actually any way to fix it?

Sorry in advance if this is all over the place as I'm writing this late after a busy work day; my brain feels fried. I'm originally from central California and I've been living in Los Angeles for almost 15 years. I moved out of here a few years after high school with some friends on a whim. I was young and dumb had some good times but from about just before covid till now, I feel like I've aged out and it's become unaffordable to me. I work in what used to be a high end kitchen which is still extremely busy but I'm utterly burnt out and I'm making laughably low wages for effort.

On top of that, I don't have a car anymore and between car prices and insurance, that feels out of reach now, so my ability to get around is limited and time consuming. Even though there's so much here, I don't feel like I have any real opportunities or prospects. It's a really messed up time in America and it feels palpably close to some sort of financial/social collapse. To make a long story short, I feel like I don't really have anything to show for my time here and believe I'm depressed.

My living situation is about to change in the coming month with me either getting a roommate or moving into a studio which maybe taking alittle under half my earnings in a month. If I get approved for it, I could get another job or look for a higher paying one to be more secure. I've talked with my mom about moving back and trying to restart and help her out as she's retired and dealing with health issues. I intend to pay rent but I also don't want to burden her and see me having to move back as a shortcoming. She's actually excited that I do but there's a part of me that knows this will be short lived and I don't want to deal with a parental tone and I'm not sure if my opportunities for employment will be better in the valley than here. Ideally I would hope I could find a job I can grind and save to buy a car and maybe build a

I feel pretty lost in life and don't know how to navigate this.

I’m 23 and a second-year law student.

In less than four years I’ve gone from Cinema to Graphic Design to Law. Ever since I was a kid all I ever really wanted was to be a writer. When I studied Cinema, I was genuinely happy, but I was also constantly stressed about money. I couldn’t find work, and halfway through the degree I realized the industry was brutal, most of the friends I made there graduated and are unemployed now.

After that, I tried Graphic Design because my sister works in IT and told me it was a more stable field with a lot of opportunities. The problem is, I’m terrible at drawing, and the whole experience just made me feel stupid and out of place, so I dropped out. (No regrets though I met my best friends there.)

Then came Law School.

I actually took my sweet time deciding. What I really wanted at the time was Psychology because the only thing I’m as passionate about as writing is understanding the human mind. But my mom basically told me that “a sick person can’t help other sick people,” and since I already struggle with my own mental health issues (many of them tied to my relationship with her if i’m being completely honest) I got discouraged.

So I chose Law. Partly because I thought I could learn to like it, partly because it was my mom’s dream to become a lawyer and I thought maybe making her proud would make it worth it, maybe it wouldn’t be that bad.

It is that bad.

I’m two years in now, and I honestly hate it.

Not in a “I’m stressed because law school is hard” kind of way I mean I deeply, genuinely hate it.

A little under a year ago I got an internship reviewing contracts for a very specific company, and while I’m grateful and happy to be making money, I dread the work. Some days I just stare at the screen and feel miserable.

Now I keep thinking about switching majors again, but there are so many things stopping me…

My internship depends on me being a law student, and I don’t know if I could transfer internally to another department.

I have a history of quitting things when they get hard, so I keep questioning if I truly hate this, or am I just running away because I feel incompetent. I genuinely can’t tell if this is my intuition or i’m self sabotaging.

My parents would lose it. Even though I pay for my own tuition and have my own income, I still live with them, and they already see me as unstable and incapable of sticking to anything.

This whole situation has been eating away at me lately, and I can’t really talk to anyone about it. I feel trapped between resenting my way into a career in Law and becoming “the quitter” again.

I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore.