u/Applesapples159

I had the perfect apartment set up for me to take i had extreme 10/10 anxiety and didnt take it. My sublease was up I was homeless prior (couches, hotel, car never street) so i was so scared to go back. I was scared it was wrong in someway so i didnt sign on move in day. I knew jt was wrong. I have never done something like that in my life ever. Now im homeless and stress has been so high the last 4 days i did start eating and sleeping again which was nearly impossible those first 4 days. I was in shock. I am so mad at myself. Its the 17th so i doubt anything new will show up. The apartment is gone too they got someone that same day to take it. My home was so important too me. Im trying to be positive but living out of a bag is hell and i had clear plans and goals i was gonna do once i got in that now i cant.

I really cant come back from this one. Idk how to handle this next chapter it was so bad before. I hated how it stopped my life when your honeless its hard to work on goals bc sleeping every night is really your number one. I sidnt think this would happen to me.

I will not go to a shelter as i am a 23 yr old girl and will be hurt by others there and it would make my anxiety worse.

I cant believe i did this to myself. I truly ruined my life i have never done that. Idk how to come back and it will never be as good as it could of been. Im gonna have to lean on friends again which will cut ties. Im so heart broken. Im packing up my sublease today:( I was ready ro start really living now im back in it

Behavior issue aside. Like why do woman/man say there partners wish they didnt tell them. That would break my heart. I want to know before potentially sharing why people react that way? Does it turn them off mainly? (If so that seems like a weird person who sees you as a s@x toy). I had a platonic friend (another girl) who i told it seemed great she was so sweet and it fit the conversation ( shared no detail). She DROPPED ME:) despite her being like really into being my friend like gave me a key to her place and shared location close. so im guessing it not a sexual reason they get annoyed or uncomfortable you told them. Why does it ruin relationships (esp if you dont use then as support) i really dont use friends for support w stuff like that i see therapist and spend lots of time working on it privately. All i said to her was I was sa from 3-10. Wild to me.

I dont feel shame for what happened anymore but im very wise about how and when i share it despite that seems it really can land bad. Why? And what is the emotions?
When therapist shopping therapist get uncomfortable. I wasnt graphic but talking to a therapist ab the abuse she left 8 mins early. Why? Im not describing the acts!

cord cutting with my childhood abuser. the cord fell to his side immediately and his candle burned really fast like extremely fast. Mine took like 30 some minutes to fully burn after his was done. Sound effective or no? i thought it was sucessful but i feel so on edge rn. I feel ready to move on but it seems my body will not let me. I have done lots of therapy and other stuff to heal and feel i am but have this lingering energy. I think i got it but am unsure

I had sex w a guy who was toxic and depressed. I had healed alot and have pretty solid energy we hooked up twice two days in a row then i ended it. Now my energy is rancid im crying and just like depressed. My life is hard rn for sure but im usually not like this unless im about to get my period. Im very spiritually sensitive. This is my first time having sex in 5 years. Do exchange ebergy that easily. How do i get mine back and give his back. I feel so depressed idk if its connected. I literally couldnt leave the house today.

I am not a risky person. I am very by the books. I have processed and healed alot of my trauma. I was very hypersexual as a teen and then went celibate (anoxeric) to heal from my csa. Yes when i was hypersexual i was hooking up with strangers (only woman i am a woman) i was far to scared to date, hook up with or talk to men. I have been talking to them slowly then an attraction to them appeared ab 2 years ago and has been growing. I have been really lonely recently while healing my trauma and going through big life transformations. Anyways i went on reddit and made a post to sext random reddit men. I sent pics to a few different men (no face) and I am so embarrassed and ashamed. One guy i had a good time with and the others were SUPER embarrassing. I honestly cant believe they saw me naked. I am fucking humiliated. All of them saw me naked saying vulgar shit. Im not even impulsive like that. I will never do something like that again. But they now have photos of me. Im guessing they kept them too. Im so fucking embarrassed. Im also so scared this will come back to me. I deleted all the pictures from the chats and tried to block them but messages makes it like impossible to block them. Omg i cant believe i did this. This deeply is misaligned. I have been so lonely and just really want to date and dont know if im ready yet so i just acted out like this. Omg. Men on reddit saw me nude i really am freaking out. Idk if any hypersexual to anoxeric ppl relate of just have anything supportive or nice or helpful to say. I feel so gross and ashamed

I need a good heavy duty sports bras for running. I Am a 34 DD/32DDD. I need to be able to try it on beforehand but I live in LA so im close to a bunch of stores.

Any recs???

I am in my 20s and use to eat only while watching tv or on my phone innpublic. I stopped completely besides popcorn at the movie every once and a while. I dont miss it at all. Everywhere i go everyone is on there phone. Like ill get dinner w my mom or some friends and if we stop talking they are on their phone. Life is so boring any chance i have to taste good food or share a meal with someone i want to really be there. This seems super unpopular. I go to chipotle alone after the gym and i just eat my meal no phone no company and enjoy the food everyone else is just on their phones. Obviously do what you want but i think its increasing depression, antisocial behavior, and just making people more and more disconnected

I have been trying to make new friends and the girls i have become friends with who are in relationships seem to form friendships with me to get me to have a 3way w them and their bfs. I havent done this and dont want too. This has happened sooo many times. I meet a girl at a mutual friends party and say “lets hang out and do X activity im always looking for more friends into x activity!” X activity being hiking, thrifting, surfing really any hobby i want to do or do regularly. they usually say im so down its so hard to make friends in LA (ya bc they all want 3ways) we hang out then they drop the hammer. It always hurts i act cool and play it off and never hang out w them again. I have trauma and i just find the dynamic triggering. Makes me feel like a toy. I had my roommate also try as well. I have asked many friends and new friendswho dont do this if i do anything to give that vibe. No and they are honest. I thiught this was a normal thing that happens to ppl. NOOO ITS RARE IG. I find this to happens WAYYYYY more than men asking me out. Anyways i really not sure how to many set this boundary when i meet new friends in relationships so they dont even ask me? It pisses me off. I am always graceful and say oh that cool I personally would never be apart of something like that and move on. I just hate my energy is trashy???? Easy?

I am 24F who is outgoing but honestly kindof prudish in alot of ways. I am very monogamous and dont do casual (have had casual before not for me). Its always the women who pick me and try to scott me for it. I just moved to a big city two years ago and love to make friends. I had 5 women i thought wanted to be friends this year and my old roommate. I never say im bi (i dont even look gay/bi as i have asked MANY ppl) didn't even meet a bf and they all try to hint at having a 3way w me. I find this really mean and degrading. I say i dont do causal bc it makes me feel used then they keep doing this. I have never done it and wouldnt. Why do women keep picking mw for this? I have studied my conversations and even ask others if i say weird or sexual stuff all of them say i dont. Why? It drives me nuts and i dont know how to make it stop. It hurts my feelings. I get so excited thinking omg yayyyyy a new friend then its me
and my boyfriend like too.........
I live in LA so idk if this is an LA thing.
I thought this was very very common thing women deal with while making friends. Its not my friends say this has never happened. Honestly idk how many times this has happened starting at 18 definitely double digits. Never have done it.
Why do women keep trying to get me to join them for a night w their partners???? Like i keep thinking YA a friend:))) it genuinely hurts

People who look for thirds is there stuff you look for? Verbally and physically im not doing anything to signal this. I dont dress in any way very basic like brandy Melville. I look straight tbh yes i have bi energy what what bc im gay this is how it will always be wirh women. Im so tired so many women friends end up sexualizing me and i really dont know what im doing

I wasnt able to start apartment hunting till end of June and am finding some stuff (all pretty awful cons) nothing I feel comfortable with taking. I am looking in Palms. Do i try to leave la for two weeks to stay somewhere cheaper and come back mid month to start searching again? When is the best time of the month to apartment hunt?

I feel i am putting crazy effort with very few choices.

I need an apartment in culver asap and its the end of the month so i dont have many choices it seems like. I found this studio thats super secure/cute and isnt on the first floor (my safety is super important). I found one that is absolutely perfect (well not perf has some issues that need to be repaired) the manager on property was so weird. He is around 26-32 age range if i had to guess. He seemed weird. Eye blood spot and he was clearly attracted to me by the way he stared and talked to me. He never said anything provocative and everything he said was super normal and really nice but just the way he said it, the way he looked at me, and his energy was super unsettling. the fact he would have a key to my place sent chills down my spine like i felt super frozen. Other places i toured the men on property I never felt this and actually was like okay like if something goes wrong he seems like someone id feel safe with going into my place while im not there. I very rarely get bad vibes like that from men. The few times i have i have always listened the one time i didnt i was assaulted. I feel stuck bc i really really need a place but this guy was so unsettling like he had the vibe he does meth or some hard drug paired with the fact of him being attracted to me just was unsettling. F@ck its such a nice place and i feel i cant take it. What do i do? If he wasnt in the picture id take it. I have few other housing choice that dont check all the hoxes this one does.

I have always had extreme depression and have always daydreamed for a minimum of 7 hours a day. Like would be annoyed if i could be alone to daydream. I fail all my classes since always and just couldn’t focus on school it scared me to mych. I have always been weird with friends and really weird with dating just so disconnected and in my world. I missed alot. Dating never did it despite fitting the beauty standard. I just had all these different belief and my brain literally never lnew how to go about boys. I assumed i was a lesbian and tried that out. No. I did ketamine and it open the doors. I had always knew and had some memories (memories leading to my SA never the full SA ) since the abuse. I would have random extreme ptsd attacks (didnt know at the time it was ptsd) where id go hysterical and my body would FREAK out thinking ab it.

I have had sex in which was me having no self worth and just basically giving myself and then making sure to block and ignore them bc i was scared for some reason. I also did not feel attracted to the women i was having sec with. Sex was always fucking weird too. I always hated it. Every single time. I have never enjoyed it even wjen i tried really hard my body would tense up and id feel absolutely nothing or feel to mych and push away.

Anyways i fully just pushed it down and i cant believe at 24 now i am realizing i lived this whole life i had no idea about somehow???? Like how did i know but not know?

Hi! I have worked at a hostel in the past but was put in a women’s only dorm and it was a great experience! I felt super safe my whole time. I did have two guys hit on me who were at the hostel which made me uncomfortable. They did not escalate and i slept in the women only room so it wasnt like a bad experience overall.

I found another hostel volunteer situation and really want to go! I have ptsd from being assaulted for years when i was a child lollll (i was kidnapped 🥴) ANYWAYS I only say this bc I get really uneasy with men hitting on me and not feeling like i can escape. I really need this worktrade situation bc I had a worktrade completely fall through. So I have no where to live until july 20th 🫠.

Women have you had safety issues in mixed staff dorms?? I trust men I also dont know if its all guys working there and how many in a room and what not.

English is not my first language lol sorry if its hard to read

I have recently learned i may be into bdsm as a domme. My coworker kicked this guy in the balls for money (she recorded it) and he was trying so hard not to cry and was in a ball on the ground whimpering. It really turned me on a little which I am not proud of😭. I have lots of childhood trauma which i can see it clearly stems from that (in therapy lol) Anyways what am i considered if um into physically hitting, choking and spitting on men during sex only (with lots of consent or it ruins the fantasy completely) i want them to want and show enjoyment and pain. I like the idea of making him buy me shit too or do random life task i dont want to do him being excited and completely submissive and fully into it would turn me on. I like to degrade men a little I tried it with a guy online and it was hot but i also need it to feel more emotionally connective like i want to also soothe him and be really sweet with him outside and during sex. I want to mix being mean and being nice but idk if that nakes sense. I like need the emotional side where i can show my own vulnerability and talk about real stuff. I also want to feel safe and want to build it where i see him feeling safer with him so i can see him really be into as suppose him immediately being a slave to me? I liked the idea of the slave thing but idk something felt incomplete with it maybe lack of real relationship or maybe just not my thing. I dont really understand the world fully and everything online for fem doms is pretty unhelpful.

I would love to know what fetish type i sound like? What you recommend exploring? How to even enter a relationships like this? I am single so i don’t have a partner to explore this with. I also LOVE very vanilla sex so idk where i fall into bdsm if at all bc i feel like ppl who like this stuff are hardcore into it and dont do vanilla. I also have a LARGE amounts of empathy like i was feeling bad degrading a random man online so maybe its not my thing? Like i feel mentally confused bc i like cant even kill a house fly but ya i want to beat a man during sex. Make no sense.

Hi! I have savings and a car paid over but need inspection in my home state which i cant go back too. I was SA from infant to 12 by idk how many men. I know i was sold a few times. I have healed alot i started body healing so trauma yoga, somatic, and fascia release and its life changing but I out grew my out life and needed a change. I had a live in work job situation turn sour and left. I left politely. I will say I am f”cked. I thought i could find housing in Monterey/carmel Ca. I have traveled alot and seen very beautiful views. I have never felt so safe grounded and also just welcomed by a community. Everyone feels so kind and it makes me feel safe to be kind also which felt amazing. I have been homeless basically for 10 days staying at hotels and hostels. I cant find stuff. I have tours set up for 2 places neither is really what i was looking for but ig i have to take what i dont want. I just need a safe area preferably living alone which i would be able to easily afford if the economy wasnt so so bad. I feel so scared bc im in a hard stressful pahse and really have no one. I can go back home my mom is a super star with all this but its were the abuse happened. The town was a place of torture. Teachers, kids, family friends, family all hurt me and made me feel so scared to be seen. Now im allowing myself to be in the world and be seen for the first time. I dont want to leave here but the last 11 days have been bad. My bad so much stress. I am so scared bc my body feel so so traumatized ljke im being hurt again. I can go home but its feels like a none choice like if i go back it will ruin my healing.

I have never touched drugs, never drink, dont have an eating disorder(had one as a kid and overcame it years back) i am learning self love, only allowing kindness around me, setting firm boundaries. I feel going back could lead me to bad stuff as i am so vulnerable in a way. I dont see myself as a victim really ever but right now I deeply do. My body feels so scared. Mentally im like its okay we got this we are so smart and resourceful and my body feels lime its dying. I feel like i set myself back in my nervous system healing.

Idk whst to do i ground then remember i have no one and no place to live.

I am coming from Portland after a traumatic event and want to live somewhere extremely safe and calm while I heal. Without being set on fire for asking. How is seaside? Which areas to avoid/safest areas? i found a place to live in my range thats off fremont blvd thats in the middle of broadway ave and canyon del rey blvd. I want to be in Monterey/pacific grove bc it may be the safest city i have ever been too. Online its says there is a 1 in 76 chance of crime here in seaside??? I am a young woman so I just cant do somewhere with a drugs, homeless and break ins presence after my experience I just need super boring and safe lol. I just want somewhere beautiful to regroup safely for a year. Im not sure if the seaside being bad is more bc white ppl in this area are maybe racist bc when i went to a few grocery stores in seaside it just seems very diverse but the ppl are still calm and not sketchy. What areas do you recommend and say in avoid in the area? Is seaside a good safe more affordable choice.
Again not hating on seaside just want to understand the area before living here:)