u/Applesapples159

Hi! I have savings and a car paid over but need inspection in my home state which i cant go back too. I was SA from infant to 12 by idk how many men. I know i was sold a few times. I have healed alot i started body healing so trauma yoga, somatic, and fascia release and its life changing but I out grew my out life and needed a change. I had a live in work job situation turn sour and left. I left politely. I will say I am f”cked. I thought i could find housing in Monterey/carmel Ca. I have traveled alot and seen very beautiful views. I have never felt so safe grounded and also just welcomed by a community. Everyone feels so kind and it makes me feel safe to be kind also which felt amazing. I have been homeless basically for 10 days staying at hotels and hostels. I cant find stuff. I have tours set up for 2 places neither is really what i was looking for but ig i have to take what i dont want. I just need a safe area preferably living alone which i would be able to easily afford if the economy wasnt so so bad. I feel so scared bc im in a hard stressful pahse and really have no one. I can go back home my mom is a super star with all this but its were the abuse happened. The town was a place of torture. Teachers, kids, family friends, family all hurt me and made me feel so scared to be seen. Now im allowing myself to be in the world and be seen for the first time. I dont want to leave here but the last 11 days have been bad. My bad so much stress. I am so scared bc my body feel so so traumatized ljke im being hurt again. I can go home but its feels like a none choice like if i go back it will ruin my healing.

I have never touched drugs, never drink, dont have an eating disorder(had one as a kid and overcame it years back) i am learning self love, only allowing kindness around me, setting firm boundaries. I feel going back could lead me to bad stuff as i am so vulnerable in a way. I dont see myself as a victim really ever but right now I deeply do. My body feels so scared. Mentally im like its okay we got this we are so smart and resourceful and my body feels lime its dying. I feel like i set myself back in my nervous system healing.

Idk whst to do i ground then remember i have no one and no place to live.

I am coming from Portland after a traumatic event and want to live somewhere extremely safe and calm while I heal. Without being set on fire for asking. How is seaside? Which areas to avoid/safest areas? i found a place to live in my range thats off fremont blvd thats in the middle of broadway ave and canyon del rey blvd. I want to be in Monterey/pacific grove bc it may be the safest city i have ever been too. Online its says there is a 1 in 76 chance of crime here in seaside??? I am a young woman so I just cant do somewhere with a drugs, homeless and break ins presence after my experience I just need super boring and safe lol. I just want somewhere beautiful to regroup safely for a year. Im not sure if the seaside being bad is more bc white ppl in this area are maybe racist bc when i went to a few grocery stores in seaside it just seems very diverse but the ppl are still calm and not sketchy. What areas do you recommend and say in avoid in the area? Is seaside a good safe more affordable choice.
Again not hating on seaside just want to understand the area before living here:)