r/Advice

I worked with a girl for about 8 months. We got close at times, but things also got messy between us occasionally, and we didn't end on the best of terms. We hadn't talked in a couple of months, and she just texted me out of nowhere with "Hey, how have you been?" I'm interested in her, and since we don't work together anymore, I'd like to ask her out. Is it okay to go for it, or should I stay casual and see where the conversation goes?

I live in a popular East Bay town in California that has a large tourist population. Our town is very against AirBNBs, it is incredibly hard to have one and maintain it. Plus if there is an AirBNB our property management is supposed to let us know before renting out to us. This AirBNB is upstairs and in between multiple units. The guests are incredibly disrespectful and will come in at 11 pm stomping, rolling around suitcases and running around. We have complained to property management, they have basically told us to suck it up and call the cops when being disturbed. When we do call the cops, they blow us off and respond hours later. We will tap on our ceiling with a broom or our bat that we keep by the bed and some guests quiet down, but recently the guests aggressively drop heavy items or pound their fists into the floor as retaliation. We’ve tried calling the city to get this place taken down, but they keep sending us to voicemail. We also complain to AirBNB, but they have a bunch of open cases and none of them really come to an end. Only one report has been closed and a strike was given. We are at our wits end. The noise keeps us from sleeping, they are breaking the law and we are just so exhausted. We cannot keep living like this. It feels torturous, I haven’t had a quiet night of sleep in months. What can we do?

Edit: For some more added context, we have had issues with the cleaners banging around early in the morning, loud groups of people up there, and the first week we lived here there was a domestic dispute going on up there. The cleaners are the worst, as they are moving every piece of furniture without a care in the world. The city laws say that no AirBNB can exist within an apartment complex with more than 5 units, ours has 65. So there are entirely breaking city law.

My life right now feels like a dead end. There’s nothing for me to do anymore, and there never was, I wasn’t meant to go this far.

That’s what is in my head, not all the time but whenever I allow myself to think, I basically turn off my head all day, I barely think about anything.. like I am just an empty shell.

I am stuck, I am scared to do anything, I can’t do anything. All I do is sit home all day, rotting. So right now it’s almost 4 am (because my sleep schedule is ducked up as well) and I am writing this, before I was just laying here thinking about writing it, but no one will know I wrote this so I actually did write it here.

I think about what if everything went differently I’m scared all the time and I wish I wasn’t. It would be so easy if I wasn’t scared…

My life is weird, I was growing up normal, or somewhat normal, until school started, I was excited.. but I soon wasn’t anymore, I had a stomach ache *everyday* before school, I didn’t want to be there, I don’t know what’s wrong with me I wasn’t even bullied, or maybe I was but my head let me erase that memory.. but it only got worse form then, I went to middle school people weren’t nice there, they were assholes like actually, but I wasn’t bullied. I was just uncomfortable around them, so I started not going to school anymore.. it got worse and worse and I was more scared to go every time my parents didn’t let me stay home. They also found out I was really quiet, my teacher assumed they know but at home I was a normal teenager talking laughing and all that, but there I was alone, quiet and ‚sad‘ they immediately went to an therapist with me. I didn’t understand back then. The therapist said I have ‚mutism‘ and sent me into a mental hospital as soon as possible..(I am sorry if this is messy or too much information to read I don’t even know if anyone is going to read this anyway) so I was at the mental hospital, and it was the worst time of my life, they’d force me to do stuff or else they took my phone time that was only an hour per day, this may seem dramatic but it was the worst, you have to imagine I didn’t have any friends irl, just on my phone. I was almost dependent on it, but I wasn’t able to do the task they had given me, at some point they said if I don’t do what they say they wanted to take the right away to see my parents on weekends, happily my mom stopped it at that point.. but this was horrible, I was only 11. so since then, my life was broken, I didn’t go to school and I didn’t do anything else either… all I was doing was stay at home, play games and really badly fail to make friends online, still somehow depended on the online world (discord) I’ve mostly been active in „make friends“ discord servers, but not in the way where i type in general chat but i just posted an introduction in „intro“ channels and then people messaged me, and I’d also message other people, these friendships never lasted long, even though sometimes they turned into a relationship, that would end me up horribly hurt and question what the hell is wrong with me… I was just too clingy and attached to them and also a bit obsessive I think? then i was 18 and I am afraid of any small thing, I’m afraid to go outside alone, I’m afraid to work somewhere, I’m afraid to try going to school again and obviously I am afraid of ever going to a mental hospital again, but I don’t know what I can do, I can’t get any courage and my mom is slowly getting tired of me just being at home and not doing anything outside of home, I don’t know what to do.

Well, I made this a few years back, I’m not 18 anymore so i slightly edited it, I’m 21 now and it’s still very very similar, the irl life part is pretty much still like this, though i am happy to say I’ve made some friends that actually are friends and aren’t just from random „make friends“ servers I made most of them from a certain minecraft community, I have so many I even have my own discord server with over 40 people I am really happy I discovered this community, I also have heavy social anxiety if I didn‘t mention this before, this community helped me greatly to improve it at least online, my friends are really supportive and two friends are even asking me to move in with them in the future (I’m obviously way too scared yet again)

Anyway, deep down I also know irl it can’t go on like this, at least I don’t feel like I want to die anymore at this point because of the friends I’ve made and the joy I live through everyday being able to spend time with them. I’ve written this roughly 3 years ago, but I never actually published it anywhere, so now I think I’m going to post it on Reddit, if I did, well you’ll know.

This got longer than expected, but.. it’s my thoughts. I don’t care if anyone reads it or no one does, I’m happy that I was able to put my thoughts into whole words and sentences even if it is a bit messy, and so long.

So, maybe could I get some advise?

This literally just happened. I’ll try to explain it as clearly as possible but I think I just ruined the best thing in my life.

For context, we had a deep talk around May about how she was unhappy with my actions and that she was unhappy that I didn’t do enough with her. She stated she wanted to go out and do more with me besides hanging out in our places or going to grab dinner, which we did a lot and was our main hangouts. I saw her point of view and I started going to things more with her but at some point I dropped the ball and just stopped and eventually reverted back to hangouts where we just hung out, watched some movies and or got dinner. Which leads me to today & the argument we got in yesterday.

We got into an argument yesterday because we agreed to hangout around 4:30 after she got off work and got ready, I had been ready for a while and accidentally fell asleep around 3:30 and I woke up at about 5. This turned into an argument over text and instead of either of us meeting in person to talk about it, for some reason we just kept talking over text an it just made the argument so bad. Bad as in not much was solved, not that we were at each other’s throats. Part of it was spurred because she told me she wanted to go for a hike that day, which I agreed to but said we should think of some other things to do first because I had a going away party for one of my friends and had to leave and I wanted the maximum amount of time w her (If we went on the hike I’d have to shower). So eventually this turned into her saying she wanted some space and that she didn’t want to talk about this anymore til tomorrow. So now comes today.

Today we had a talk and she started being weird towards the back half of the argument and eventually after asking a few times what’s up I asked her if she felt like this could still work and she said “I don’t know”. We cried a bunch and talked it out and she basically said she decided then and there she probably wanted to break up. She never outright said it but when I was asking certain questions like the one if we could still work she started shifting to a “I don’t think so” and said stuff like “I just don’t think it’s healthy for either of us”. I told her to just think about it and that we would work out and I loved her deeply and she said she also loved me so much but didn’t say anything to me saying stuff about how I know it’ll be okay. I told her to take all the time she needs and that whatever she decides, that I’ll be there for her and I love her no matter what, she’s the love of my life and I’ll support any decision she makes because I just want her to be happy & healthy. Also we talked about what we could do better and she kinda said something along the lines of “I just don’t trust that you’ll do those things”.

Obviously I’m leaving out parts of the conversations where she did wrong and we talked that out, so I might come off as a bit of an asshole but that’s not important because I just wanted to put everything she said out there.

The advice I’m asking for is, what the hell do I do now? She’s still in contact with me, as we texted twice since it happened (happened about 2/3 hours ago) but it’s obvious she’s not gonna be on her phone a lot for the rest of the night. It’s been 4 years and we met in high school (I’m 22 and she’s 20). She is everything to me and I don’t know what to do or what to say to her to make her feel better about this. If there’s anything I could say or do to talk it out more with her or have her take what she didn’t outright say but still said back I’d do it. I shit the bed here because I’m too stupid and didn’t keep up with what we talked about last time and I’m just at such a loss. Please help me out, wtf do I do?

hi everyone as the title implies i’m 21 F and i just recently developed a huge crush on a girl in my class
the problem is i come from a very religious arab family. i have no idea what to do with these feelings because everyday they occupy more space in my brain. my religious guilt is eating me alive it’s important to note that i’m not “that” religious per say but i can’t imagine pursuing this as it would put me in danger if anyone finds out.
i guess my question is how can i get over this?

Should I leave my boyfriend? Hi guys! I’m new to Reddit and I don’t know where else to go. This post is going to focus on the problems in our relationship but outside of these he has been lovely. We have only been on one date and I do sleep over at his daily and spend majority of my time with him. However he has never yelled at me, called me out of my name, or been mean to me. He is sweet but i genuinely don’t know what to do. So for a bit of backstory we have not been dating long. We were talking for about 3 weeks, I was going over to his dorm, sleeping over (in the same bed and letting him hold me ) and we even kissed before I was his girlfriend. He asked me to be his girlfriend a week ago and I obviously said yes. I personally believe he asked me because he had been acting weird, I ignored him and had a good time the following day, knowing that he had seen me and my friends. Besides that we have been having issues already. The first one being that his reposts on TikTok were very weird. There were some pertaining to being happily single, “fumbling” someone and how he will always feel bad about it/sorry about it. Admittedly it takes a bit for me to open up but upon seeing these, I was upset and confused. Before I could bring the issue to him, I went back to his profile and the reposts had been removed, so to me that was confirmation that he knew it was wrong. We discussed the issue and he said he had reposted it because in the moment it “felt relatable/real or like something he should repost”. The following day things were still off but we quickly talked in person and he said he trying to learn how to love a woman right and be in a healthy relationship. For further context his previous relationship was about a year long, he is White and I am mixed (Black, white, Hispanic) he also told meI am the first black girl he has ever dated/talked to. He did reassure me and tell me that I’m not just an experiment or something. The second issue was when I was walking to class and he was walking from class. I had an exam to get to but i stopped to talk to him though he was with his friends. He didn’t kiss or even touch me and proceeded to call me bro. I kept my composure and kept the conversation short. He did ask if I wanted to go somewhere with them and I declined and used the exam as an excuse. We again talked later and he said he didn’t know how to approach me because the relationship was new and he calls everyone bro. The next issue started last night. He opened his phone and I saw that he had me labeled as my name with the hand heart emojis,I jokingly said “wow so I’m just (my name) to you” and he said that he doesn’t have any emojis next to anyone’s name or have them saved as any but their name which is untrue because I’ve seen the contacts in his phone. However in an attempt to (I presume) lighten the mood he (in front of me) changed my name to “my GF (my name)” with the same emoji. I told him he wasn’t funny and that it’s deeper than “just a name”. He proceeded to shut me down. After that, while we were laying in bed I know it’s wrong but I thought about how my (very toxic and horrible) ex also had to be talked to multiple times before changing it and started to compare similarities between the two. I also told him we would talk in the morning because I wanted to sleep on it (to see if I was just being dramatic) and I still felt the same in the morning. Spoiler alert:I did. His friends from back home drove in today so I already knew I wouldn’t be seeing him today. I also ended up leaving early because he wanted to start getting ready because his friends were on the way to come see him. I did talk to him about it later and he claimed to have changed my contact name in front of me to something different (I don’t remember this) but he also said that it is that deep to him. So that brings me to the most recent issue. These friends that drove to come see him, he refers to them as his family. As far as I know, there are two girls apart of this group and he calls them his sisters. For context, a few days ago I told him he should put his hair in a ponytail because it’s gotten long, he made a face, laughed it off and said he would never do that. Last night we made plans to go somewhere next weekend that neither of us had been, just me and him. Well today, he not only went with his friends, but I checked his instagram story and it was a video someone else had taken of him and in the video someone had put his hair into a ponytail. He clearly had no clue the video was being taken, he was caught in a separate conversation with another one of his friends laughing. On top of all this, it was understood that I would not be sleeping over at his dorm because his friends were supposed to be sleeping there. He in fact is sleeping at a hotel with his friends about an hour away and texted me goodnight though he is still active on all social media. I don’t know if anyone will see this but though he has been lovely and has even told me he loves me and has never felt this way about anyone I can’t help but to think that if there’s problems this soon into the relationship…is that a sign?

To preface this is my first post ever so apologies if it isn’t written well. All advice / experiences are welcome.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years now (23F 26M). Many of our friends and family consider us the “poster” couple. We met in college, and since graduation, have found success at a young age by accident. We own multiple rental properties and a business together, and just recently purchased a home on a sizeable amount of land. I have the life I have always dreamed of. My dream home, beginning to make amazing friends locally, and the businesses are taking off.

But i’m beginning to feel he is not my dream man.

Things truly were amazing to begin. Hindsight I believe he was lovebombing me, but i loved the attention and affection. Who wouldn’t? In college, our relationship was amazing and full of life. Post grad, and when “real life” began to set in, things shifted. From what started as two individuals deeply in love has become two individuals who go weeks without a moment of quality time. He began to become motivated. Now before anyone attacks me, I am not saying the motivation is bad. We both are highly ambitious individuals who thrive when given a challenge. However, this motivation seems to come with major personality changes. Lying about other women (both online and in person), constant rudeness and verbal disrespect, and just a plain lack of interest in the relationship have left me feeling utterly emotionally alone and neglected. I have brought this up countless times, to which nothing changes. I have attempted to discuss, rekindle, try harder and carry the weight of all the date planning and quality time, but it always falls on deaf ears.

The biggest difference here is that I am not a stay at home girlfriend with a provider. I work on average 60 hour weeks, on top of school, and taking care of all home responsibilities (cooking, cleaning, laundry). He does not assist in any at-home tasks. This has caused me to just be, beat down.

I am so alone.

I truly thought I had found my forever within this man. Therefore, I am now painfully aware I did not protect my assets nor myself financially as much as I should have. All properties, businesses, my vehicle, and the home are in his name, although I have put all of my earnings into these assets. We are not married, and no paperwork or loans are directly in my name, therefore I have no claim to anything.

If I decide to leave, I lose everything.

The life that I have always dreamt for myself, my friends, my home, my businesses, gone in a blink of an eye.

I guess all of this to say: I need advice. Is there any hope for change, or will they only worsen with time? Is what i’m feeling adulting growing pains, and simply part of adulthood?

Any and all advice is appreciated. Thanks for reading if you made it this far.

Okay so this post is taking a bit of confidence on my part im a 25M im a high functioning autistic....and for a few years ago I learned a few things about myself....I dont mind clingy or possessive partners and I know that's generally a red flag..I guess I like it because it makes me feel cherished instead of suffocated....is there something wrong with me? Maybe im just wired differently but I could use some objective advice thanks

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Long story short this women is a TERRIBLE mom.
Shes currently 8 months pregnant still drinking and smoking. Yells at her children nonstop. Threatens them. Let’s them run out in the middle of the road when cars are coming. Won’t let any of the baby daddy’s(3 all together) see their kids.

What is the breaking point in calling dcfs?
If I do it will I just hurt the kids more than what they are going through now??

So I (21f) and let’s call him O (22M) haven’t spoken in quite a while due to us ending our toxic childish cycle from around 5 years ago. I’m kinda newly single and missed him a bit so I messaged him and we clicked instantly. I found out he lives near me too which was crazy now.

The first time we spoke I went over, the vibes were good it just felt so natural. One thing lead on to a next we started kissing, he kept on saying your the only girl that can get this out of me (he has been celibate for 2 years due to his deen) then he expressed how he wanted to have sex and because we had done it in the past I wanted too as well. We endded up doing it multiple times and I stayed over. This kept happening for a few days then he told me we have to stop due to him feeling like he has no control, he’s breaking his celibacy and his deen too. He expressed how he has done this before with 2 other women but he didn’t actually like or feel anything towards them but with me it’s different and how it’s even distracting him from prayer sometimes. He’s expressed to be our connection is different so much times and the emotions he feels basically. The night after that when we woke up we spoke more about it and he said he wants to take me out do normal things.
Another thing I want to add one time after he has finished doing the doo he asked me what is it between us and said something that was like ‘if your serious I am’ we even briefly spoke about marriage and he was saying how he’d want to get married young.

Anyways we kept speaking but he’s started a new job too but he’s went ghost for 4 days.
He explained to me prior how he will be going ghost for a bit and due me being solid I can know before he does and how this month or next month when he’s active he will take me out and we can do something. He also told me to stay on my stuff and don’t get distracted by other men but him.

I actually do like him and see a future with him. I’m not a Muslim woman however I used to be, I was brought up Muslim from birth however when my parents split I just pulled away from religion like my mother.

What do you guys think? Is there potential? I would get married to him lol ! Sounds crazy

Okay so I’m 16m, and my father is like I mean a horrible man of course but he also had very very toxic jealousy problems, like TOXIC almost killing people type of thing, like held my mom at gunpoint. Terrible terrible, like my mom wasn’t allowed to be friends with anyone, man or woman, or even talk to my father sister really just anyone for that matter, just me him and my brother, and her mom. My mom also isn’t the best person but she isn’t terrible like him, she also had terrible jealousy problems and still has them with my stepdad, she deals with it in a very controlling way that I find completely wrong.

And now, I have a boyfriend, he’s 17, we’ve been together for a while now, and as time passes I already knew I was a jealous person but it’s gotten to a point I genuinely want to shout scream, throw things, cry, all at once. I don’t do any of those though of course because that’s insane and wrong, we just talk through it, but it’s just getting worse, like I genuinely catch myself growing terribly upset because he’s hanging out with his friends and not me, or because his texting his friend, or because he made a new friend who happens to be his type, I just wish I would be the only thing in his life, be the only thing he ever wants or needs which is wrong and toxic, and stupid and I would never ever in my life act on that. We’ve talked about it and honestly he’s always so understanding about it.

I also got told in class that we all inevitably always become our parents, that it is genetics and wether we like it or not we’re the same as them, I don’t want to be the same as them not at all no fucking way, but so can I make it go away? Or make it less worse?

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Hi, I (25m) have been in a relationship with the mother of my children for the last 4 years. We had two kids the time we were together. I met her on Instagram and went to her house to pick her up. From the moment we met we hadn't been apart for four years. Our relationship started out rocky really. We both got caught texting other people but we pushed through and before she got pregnant we had a really rough patch. We were working in the same place, just different sections, I had developed a close friendship with one of my coworkers and she hated it. It really started out as just a friendship but the girl started to come on to me more and more each day. I had to make a choice and that's when she discovered she was pregnant and we moved on. We left the job. We moved to Pennsylvania with her mom we argued a lot. After that she always had trust issues with me so she was always going into my messages and logging into my Instagram. But I stopped I really wasn't doing anything. Then 3 years ago we got our own apartment together here in Virginia and everything was going smoothly until she got mad I was following girls I never really understood why I just was following random people but she always had this thing with my social media like she wanted complete control. Over time throughout our relationship She secretly went through my whole follow list and unfollowed every girl no matter if she was a long time friend or a cousin. It didn't matter to her and that would make me mad. Looking back at it now I wish I didn't get so mad because my reactions only made things way worse. I started to follow more people just to spite her. And after that one day we got into a heated argument because I went through her phone and saw she was entertaining someone. Some random dude, after I saw that I left for the first time for about a day. Then she begged me to come back so I did. When I came back I promised I wouldn't follow any more girls and I was doing good until two weeks later. My friend told me his girlfriend told him that my girl had been sleeping with someone who hangs around the apartments we live in. It really broke me. I was so mad I got up and moved out again this time longer and the time I was away I was seeing other people. Then she begged me back again threatening to do things to herself. I came back and we started over and it was good for awhile but those thoughts of what she did and what she could still be doing always would creep into my head. And then she got a job at this fed ex warehouse. And I'm thinking our life is perfect and happy. But one day I discovered she had been sleeping with one of her coworkers there. I read their messages and till this day I regret reading them. But I had also been doing something at the time behind her back because I hadn't forgiven her. So I made my self forgive her. And we tried again. It was all ok really Up until two months ago. When she just started hating me. Tearing me down any way she could. Then it all accumulated into what happened 7 or 8 days ago when I discovered she had been talking to some 40 year old man I left again and slept on my brother's couch for like 3 days and this time I begged her back I just couldn't lose her to him so I went and bought a ring (that was the only way she would take me back) I bought it and proposed. We were engaged for a good 3 days. But I noticed she was distant and she kept wanting to walk places despite having a car. So 3 days ago I looked out the window and I saw her hugging him with our engagement ring on. That broke me because at that moment I knew it was really over. Now I'm back at my brother's apartment sleeping on the couch which is right across the street from her. I don't even look that way or watch there anymore because she's moved him in there with my kids and it hurts so bad. My whole life is over. Everything I did revolved around the kids. Now I'm out and alone struggling to find a new life. I just wanna move far away. I been thinking about packing up and going to Alaska. I haven't eaten in 4 days. My mind will not stop racing. Any advice would be welcome. I need something..... I need a plan.....

Excuse any mistakes English is not my first language

I’m 20F and have been with him 21M for a few months. He’s my first relationship and he would be the first person I would have sex with. But I am a virgin and it has always been a huge embarrassing insecurity of mine because I’m too old to be one and I have just hid it or avoided that topic. He’s showing interest in hooking up and I was planning on just not telling him and getting it over with so I can be experienced but I am nervous that if there is any pain he’ll find out. Is it worth telling him beforehand? I kind of don’t want too I am too ashamed of it

I’m also a stick with legs attached. I always hear men complaining about girls being too bony or not having enough to look at or grab. I want to have sex with him but i don’t look good I don’t want to disappoint when I take my clothes off. Plus I don’t have big boobs or butt which makes it worse and I just feel bad for him. I am trying to gain weight so maybe in some months I will look better I hoppe
How do I work with this?

I just found out today that my gf has been giving my friends and I melatonin on nights when my friends and I get very drunk because she ‘didn’t wanna deal with a bunch of drunk out of control girls’ and I know how I’m feeling but I’m refusing to acknowledge it I guess. This dates back to a year plus ago. I’m a survivor of sa so I’m very uncomfortable with men around me hence why when my friends suggest brining a guy friend as a designated driver I volunteer my gf because she doesn’t drink but still likes to have fun and drive us around. I’m an angry drunk so as much as I feel violated in the sense that I didn’t consent to melatonin when I’m so drunk, I get why she gave me it in a sense because it must be hard for her to handle me when I’m in my angry drunk state because of said sa but I feel so weird and guilty and responsible for putting my friends in a situation where they were given melatonin without knowing especially by another woman that I told them we can be safe around and I don’t know how to deal with that guilt and that part. I don’t know what to do when it comes to the part where my friends have been made drowsy without their consent. Do I tell them or do I just process this in therapy and hope I find a way to make it up to my friends while keeping this big secret to myself? I still can’t believe this is real

Edit: Btw this has been going on for a year plus in case I haven’t mentioned. I have now also learned what melatonin is and how I need help with my drinking (which I already know. I’m in therapy and just started meds). Please focus on where I need help which is if I tell my friends or not about what she gave them when they were too drunk to remember

I 27F and my fiancé 27FTM are getting married next month. We invited around 170 people. On our website, and through word-of-mouth, we said there are no plus ones (unless approved) and that it’s childfree. We’ve always envisioned our wedding to be childfree and we mostly said no plus ones because we have to pay $35/person over 100 people.

Everyone seemed fine with it until we got a text from my fiances family. Their step brother M38 and wife F35 have three kids: 5, 8, and 17. We sent an invite with an RSVP for the brother, his wife, and their oldest. After RSVPing “Yes” the wife texted my fiancé “I assume this includes [niece] and [nephew].” We wrote back saying we were sorry but we’re having a child-free wedding and if any kids got the exception, it’d be them but we don’t want to be unfair to the rest of the guests by having some kids allowed and not others. Without texting us back, she switched the RSVP to “decline.” Three hours later we sent another text checking in and we still haven’t heard back. It’s been about a week.

My fiancé messaged their dad to check-in and he said the whole family won’t be attending. We’re super shocked by this because they even rented a cabin on the property to stay on site for the wedding night. We feel awful and almost want to just give in and let them bring their younger kids but we also don’t want to be unfair to all of our other friends and family who are finding babysitters.

What do we do??

EDIT: After reading some of the comments I think it’s important to include that:

- The overnight accommodations were their choice. The wedding is less than an hour from their house. I’m pretty sure they just wanted to get drunk at the reception since they’re heavy drinkers/partiers

- We attended a wedding last year for a different family member that was child free and they went and didn’t bring their kids

- We totally understand people who can’t come because of the child-free decision. We’re just heart broken that we haven’t heard back from them - especially since my fiance has a small family and they’re the bulk of the family. We’re chill people and if we knew it would cause such a mess we would’ve just invited their kids to avoid the fall out. Just sad they ghosted us and have been telling the family not to come :/

I (F23) have worked at the same office for about 2 years, and there’s a coworker (M27) who I’m almost positive has developed a thing for me.

It started out really innocent. He’d just say hi when we passed each other, then eventually he started stopping to talk to me. At first I didn’t think anything of it because we work together and he’s a pretty friendly guy.
But lately it has gotten to the point where I’m starting to wonder if I’m completely oblivious or if he’s actually trying to make a move.

I catch him looking at me constantly. Like, I’ll be working at my desk and look up and he’s already looking at me from across the room. We make eye contact, he smiles, and then suddenly he finds something extremely interesting on his computer lol.

He also seems to find excuses to come talk to me. He’ll ask me something he could probably figure out himself, or come over and start joking around with me. He remembers little things I’ve mentioned weeks ago, which honestly caught me off guard.

Then something happened the other day that made me REALLY start thinking about it.

I was getting an energy drink in the break room and he came in a few minutes later. We were talking like normal, and at one point he said something along the lines of, “You know, you’re actually really hard to read.”
I laughed and asked him what he meant.
He just smiled and said, “I can never tell if you’re flirting with me or just being nice.”
I completely froze because… what the hell do you even say to that at work? 😂
I kind of laughed it off and changed the subject, but now I can’t stop thinking about it.

The annoying part is that I actually find him attractive. If I wasn’t interested at all, this would be a much easier situation. But I really enjoy talking to him and there’s definitely some chemistry there.

My biggest concern is the fact that we work together. I LOVE my job and have no desire to make my workplace uncomfortable. If we dated and it didn’t work out, I’d still have to see him every day. And obviously there’s the whole “don’t shit where you eat” rule for a reason.
I also don’t know if I’m imagining some of this because I like him. Maybe he’s just naturally flirty and I’m interpreting everything differently because I’m attracted to him.

So Reddit, what would you do? Would you actually pursue something if you were in my position, or would you shut it down before anything happens?

Because I’m starting to feel like it’s only a matter of time before one of us actually says something, and I’m honestly not sure whether I want that to happen or not. Any advice or ideas would be greatly appreciated❤️🤞🏼

We live in a student apartment. She seemed really nice when we moved in, but some of her habits are really getting on my nerves. She plays music while she gets ready which is loud because she wants to be able to hear it over her hairdryer (which she uses for about an hour every single morning).

She also works nights (2 different jobs, one is a restaurant and she’ll be home anywhere from 9-1, one is emt or cna or something like that and it’s 7pm-7am) and so she’s oftentimes coming back really early and it wakes me up. I’ve asked her to try to be quieter when she’s coming back in but she doesn’t realize how loud she is and says she can’t avoid making any noise at all walking back in. She wakes me up almost every time, sometimes she cooks in the morning, etc (and she labels all her groceries with her name, so we can’t share even basic stuff like milk) and it just seems like she hates me and isn’t receptive to finding a solution for this kind of thing.

My girlfriend won’t let me break up with her. This is the hardest and most upsetting thing ever.

M22 here and Ive failed to break up with my girlfriend F20.

So as of the past couple of weeks, I’ve came to realise I don’t really want a relationship anymore and my love for my girlfriend isn’t there, I’m no longer interested in doing couple things, hard to say but I’m no longer interested in her as a person, want to be single and properly enjoy life and not have the commitment. It’s nothing to do with my girlfriend, she loves me so much, is obsessed with me to the max, hasn’t done anything wrong at all and is so pretty so this will have come out of nowhere for her because she proper thinks we was fine.

So I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go on a drive and that I needed a talk with her and she was instantly alarmed when I mentioned a talk, so I picked her up and we parked up to a quiet car park and I explained what I wanted to do, and that I wasn’t feeling this relationship and explained it wasn’t her at all but it’s for my needs.

She went into a full meltdown, and seemed to me like she had a physiatric episode, moving around aimlessly and she began screaming and shouting “WHY, WHY, WHY, PLEASE NO PLEASE NO PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS A NIGHTMARE” whilst I was just sat there tearing up hating myself. She was saying things like “I really can’t live without you, I can not”, “you’re not Leaving me I’ve done nothing wrong”, basically she isn’t letting me leave and for her sake I said I’ll give it another chance. She was saying other things like “I’ll do anything you want me to do, i try my best for you, I literally can’t live a life without you”

Now I am just so upset, Confused and depressed and really don’t know where to go as I am actually concerned she would harm herself if I did break up. All my friends are telling me to block her and she can’t do anything but I feel like she would go to extents…

Please help me.

EDIT: she is now messaging me telling me she’s bought me a new ps5 with gta 6 pre ordered and booked us a weekend away on holiday……