r/Advice

I don’t really know what’s happening but I think I need help.

I am a sixteen year old female and I have been volunteering at a library for community service hours. I usually only help set stuff up for activities for children but on Wednesdays I’m in charge of the computer lab doing small tasks like faxing or helping people print something out.

Lately there has been a man roaming the place but I thought nothing of it, as the library has many people roaming. However this man seemed to be roaming the computer lab on Wednesdays a lot. One day he came up to me and asked me to help him format a document.

The work consisted of copying and pasting “news pitches” from ChatGPT onto a word document. It seemed weird but it isn’t in my place to tell him what he can’t and can do.

After nearly 15 minutes of work we were done and he pulled out his wallet. He had a ton of cash and paid me 30 dollars and said to me that he’d like me to work with him because what I was doing was excellent. However, as I said before, the work was just copying and pasting and was not a two person job. He said he could pay me very good and asked for my number to contact me and gave me his buisness card, which showed his office was cities away.

I, foolishly gave it to him. I thought finding jobs was hard and wanted cash. He texted me asking to meet and I told him I’m there every Wednesday and that was our whole conversation on the phone.

Today while volunteering (not in the computer lab) he found me and came up to me to ask for more help doing the same type of tasks which kind of freaked me out but I went with him. It was the same work as the last time.

It’s probably worth mentioning that he showed me his website and it’s like some vague car and house reselling thing. I dont want to assume but to me it feels like a front so that he won’t have to explain his source of income to like the government, that could explain the cash.

Anyway while I was helping him he asked me to walk with him to a restaurant nearby to get some change. (He was printing papers and copies are 10 cents each). I got a really bad feeling in my gut and told him I couldn’t do that. Thankfully he did not press any further.

He went and came back and paid me thirty dollars just like last time and told me he’d see me soon.

I feel like I’m crazy. Technically he hasn’t done anything yet but he’s just always there. If he’s so rich why won’t he get a real employee. And why is he at the library two cities away from his office.

I don’t really know what I’m doing but if anyone has any advice please let me know

When I came out to check, they were telling him “ what’s wrong with you?” “You can’t be walking around people’s yards and staring at people”
Then one of the good neighbors told him to leave my yard. And when he was leaving, I asked the weird guy , “ you want me to call someone ?, are alright?, )
And he replied nodding yes , meaning that he was alright . Then he started waking away to his house in a wobbly way, as if he was drunk, but on the way , he stopped on my mailbox and was trying to push it, as if he wanted to take it down . I told him to stop , then he saw me take a picture of him and he stopped pushing the mailbox . Then he lie down on the grass.
Then after awhile he went inside his house.

I didn’t know if I need to call the police or what? I don’t want him told any grudges against me? And I can understand he’s probably mentally unwell but I’m kinda worried

I don’t really know him or talk to him other than saying hi.
What should I do?

He lives alone btw and sometimes I be seeing him walking with his walkers as exercise and I say hi to him sometimes. However, this other experience never happended before.

Hey everyone I am a 19 year old female and am currently interning for a person in congress. I moved into intern housing and the roommate i got was 22 male. He was cool. We were totally getting along and I was finding everything to be getting along well. To preface this, I have an ex boyfriend who looks simular to my roommate and he was my first love. I got drunk and one thing led to another and i woke up in his bed and he had hickeys all up his neck and deep scratch marks from my nails on his back. Since we interned the next day it was my job to cover the hickeys. The morning after that intimate time, i scratched his back and gave him a massage (not sexual one) and found myself wanting to be closer to him. I remember parts of that night but not all of it. He had said "I dont know how last night happened but it happened, and i hope i didnt make you uncomfortable" I said I didnt feel uncomfortable at all. and now things are back to normal? not really if im being honest. I think i care about him or am attracted to him, I want to say maybe it is because of my ex? I am not sure, I have not known this guy for long and i have never had a one night stand or anything close to that. I just got out of a relationsihp a month or so ago that I ended. I want to get closer to him but it feels like i am being needy or clingy. always reaching out first, overthinking, or overanylizing his messages. I want to loose feelings or at least suppress them so i dont act wild or clingy. One thing I noted in our conversations in the past is he loved that his last girlfriend was crazy about him and clingy and everything. I am not trying to do that because i dont feel the feeling reciprocated. I need advice on how to get rid of feelings or at least find another outlet or stop myself from thinking about him. That night was magical, and i am sensing he wont drink with me again because 1 he is older and feels responsible for me and 2 he might think i am too much. Help, I am not sure what to do. Feel free to ask any questions.

I have no car, no savings and other then being pretty smart and in shape I've got nothing at all going for me, I work in a factory it sucks. I make around 2k a month it sucks. I'm the dead ass Jack of all trades master of none, I've never been bad at a job but never found anything I love to do. What's your advice?

So I’m 22(F) and for context me and my husband have been married for a year now. I know I sound incredibly dumb and immature getting married at this age, trust me, many people have made it very clear to me especially my parents. For some reason, I was so blinded in love I thought that we can build together and that we’re mature enough to be married. Well I was very very wrong unfortunately.

My husband was the most perfect man and the perfect provider. He would be very observant and do kind things for me all the time. I tried to be the best wife for him (cooking, cleaning, motivating him, helping him mentally and pushing him physically) We got along so well and I thought there’s nobody else in the world that understands me better. At home, I wasn’t in the best situation as my family is struggling financially and it’s a toxic environment there. It played into the biggest reason as to why I got married and my husband agreed that me leaving that environment would be best for me.

Recently, I found out that my husband has been hiding a lot behind my back and being unfaithful. Looking at naked women, searching women up and deleting things, etc. Just very lustful and man that really broke me because I thought I’d spend the rest of my life with him and he’s the LAST person I expected this from. Till this day, he claims what I’ve seen is not real and keeps trying to gaslight me into believing him lol. Safe to say my trust has been broken and essentially this has broken our marriage. It doesn’t make it any better that we’ve been fighting nonstop for the past few months and I’ve been feeling so miserable.

I know some people work through it but I truly don’t think I can work through this due to the fact that I stated that dishonesty and disloyalty is a dealbreaker for me. I tried to give him a chance but it’s been destroying me inside and I just don’t want to be in this marriage anymore. Our marriage has become so draining and in return I’ve been struggling mentally and will even have to see a therapist. He’s aware of this and so is my family. Now here is where my problem comes in..

I moved states to be with him and also was planning to change colleges since I have moved. I literally just got a job not too long ago and I’ve basically completely settled in. I really do want to leave but leaving would mean that I’d have to go back to my struggling and toxic family. I would also have to find a way to ship my car and all my things. I’d have to change my address again and find a job. Staying with him won’t work though because I’m just so miserable and our connection is completely gone. I feel so alone and I just don’t really know what to do but I don’t want to make any rash decisions right now. I know getting married young wasn’t the best idea pls don’t bash me. Can anyone give me advice?

I really need advice because I’m too embarrassed to ask anyone I know in real life. My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. Since AI has become more mainstream, we both use Chatgpt for different things. As far as I knew, he mostly used it for school, budgeting, general questions, stuff like that.

Recently I lost my wallet, and while I’m waiting for my replacement cards, my Chatgpt Plus subscription payment failed. I needed to upload images, and since my boyfriend has Plus too (and has let me use his account before), I logged into his account thinking it wouldn’t be a big deal.

While I was trying to upload something, I noticed a chat title that caught my attention. In retrospect, know I shouldn’t have opened it but I did.

It turned out to be from after an argument him and I had. He was venting to ChatGPT, which I guess he was using as a therapist. But what I read completely caught off guard.

He said things like, “My girlfriend is ugly and acts entitled, pick one.” He called me a bitch. He said he wished he had a prettier girlfriend who didn’t act like me. He’s never said anything remotely like that to my face. He has always told me I’m beautiful.

As hurt as I already was, I kept reading (I know, I shouldn’t have). I found multiple conversations where he talked about “struggling” with lusting after other women. He described looking at women in a very sexual way and comparing me to them. He told Chatgpt he felt like he could be with someone prettier and better. In one chat, he even talked about seeing a really attractive woman somewhere and wanting to go back to that area just because he had seen her.

I’m leaving out a lot because some of it gets pretty explicit and could identify us, but that’s the general idea. I didn’t find anything that suggested he physically cheated on me, but I feel like I discovered a completely different side of him that I never knew existed.

The hardest part is that while he tells me things like, “You’re beautiful,” and “Your body is perfect,” he’s telling ChatGPT things like, “Why doesn’t my girlfriend have these things?” (referring to a big butt) and comparing me to other women physically.

Part of me feels guilty because these conversations were clearly private, and I wasn’t supposed to read them. I know he was probably treating ChatGPT like a journal or therapist. But another part of me feels like what I read revealed his real thoughts.

Now my self-esteem is at an all-time low. I don’t know what to believe anymore. I don’t know if I can trust his compliments or even look at him the same way. Right now, I honestly want to leave, but I’m also wondering if I’m overreacting. Is this something people think during relationships and just never say out loud? Or are these thoughts and behaviors a serious red flag?

I can’t stop thinking that if I had never stumbled across these chats, this would have continued indefinitely. I keep wondering if someone who thinks this way is eventually going to cheat. Has anyone been through something similar? If you were in my position, what would you do?

Hello. Im 19F, this is a throw away account i made to post this. For context, my parents have been divorced since i was around 8-9.

For starters, i never knew why my parents divorced. When i was growing up i would ask every once in a while to either mom or dad why they got divorced, and it was the same answer every time, "I'll tell you when your older" and as i got older the answer never came no matter how many times or how i asked. And now that i'm pretty sure what the reason was, i'm scared to ask again.

really all started when i was around 11 and i realized i suddenly wasn't seeing my 2 cousins (dads stepsisters kids) anymore that i saw quite often before that. I would ask my dad maybe about once a year "how are they doing? I haven't seen them in a while", and for a while my dad would say something like "oh they've just been pretty busy with their own family stuff", and that is the same type of responses that my grandparents would give me when i asked about them. But as i would begin to ask more, my dad would get more snappy and angry with his responses.

A few years later, my aunt announced her wedding date, and i was so excited to go and i made it very known to my dad my excitement to go and he made it seem like he was happy to take me. Eventually the date rolled around, i was at my moms house and realized the wedding date had already passed and my dad didn't say a single word about it to me while he still ended up going. When i went to his house the next weekend, i was a little upset and asked why he didn't remind me or pick me up for it or anything. His response was something along the lines of "oh I thought you didn't want to go" and even at the age i was, i knew that was bullshit. I told him that he knew i wanted to go and to tell me the real reason he didn't take me. He got very mad and told me that there was people that i couldn't see there and wouldn't elaborate on that any further. I later looked at the pictures a family member posted from the wedding and in my mind, there was non one there that i "couldn't" see, there was only people i knew for my whole life there, except for my 2 cousins and their parents that i haven't seen for years at that point.

About a year ago when i was at a family event, i was sitting at one of the corner couches with my cousin (only about 6 years older than me) just talking about life when i brought up our other 2 cousins. I said that i was wondering how they are and how we never see them again. My cousin got quiet suddenly before saying "do you really want to know why you cant see them anymore?" Obviously, I said "Yes?..." and she broke the news to me that my dad and his stepsister had intercourse (my dad has known his stepsister since she was about 12 and he was around 17-18). She said she didn't know how many times it happened, if they where under the influence or not, etc. But as we kept talking about it, i found out that the ENTIRE family knows about this and they all swore to never tell me, the only reason my cousin knew about it was because when she was younger, she overheard family talking about it, and they made her swear to never tell me.

As i thought about it later on, the timelines on when my parents and my 2 cousins parents got divorced started to make more since, my dads angry/irritated responses, all the same responses from any family i asked, etc.

Ive been holding on to this knowledge for so long and haven't done anything with it yet, and at times it feels like a sick hole burning through my chest. I've endlessly thought about all the scenarios that could happen from me bringing it up to my parents. Like, should i bring it up to my mom? My dad? Together? Should i ask them why they got divorced again and push for an answer instead of giving up? I mean, i cant see a WHOLE side of my family because of what my dad did while everyone else can see them all the time (from photos i see on facebook) , and my main family has just been keeping secrets from me for years.

TLDR: My dad had intercourse with his stepsister, whole family knows and swore to never tell me, I don't know how to (or if i should) confront my dad and/or mom about it.

not sure if this is the correct place to post but idk what to do. My mother (46) and I (17) have a complicated relationship, she seems to always find a way to get what she wants. some hours ago before going to bed she asked to sleep in my room, i wasn't feeling it tonight so i told her no and maybe another time. She got mad and told me that i can't go out this weekend, its not the first time she says things like that so i brush her off knowing my bf will pick me up after work and we will spend time together either way. i do my nightly routine and as i enter my room i see her in my bed. i decide to ignore her and just go to sleep. i lie there crying because i feel uncomfy and she grabs my hand and starts like tickling me, i feel really creeped out and uncomfortable so i shed more tears and tell her to stop. she stayed quiet and got out of bed to pick up her stuff, while leaving my room she told me i can't go out this weekend and she doesn't want to see my bf near the house. i am really confused as to what i did wrong, anyone have an idea why she might act this way? any mother know why she feels the need to cross a boundary i set? she always act like this when she does not get what she wants which makes me dislike her as a person in general but i have never told her and i try to keep the peace. i have many more stories but this specific event has happened before and i just dont know how to reject her without making her go off on me, what do i do?

[supprimé]

Hypothetically speaking..

You meet a guy- at his work
He flirts with you regularly,
Months go by he asks for your number
You catch up- you sleep together
You later find out he had a girlfriend- the whole time.

So you have cut contact and just say hi when you have to go into his work- it’s been about two months

You haven’t slept with anyone else, for atleast 4 years
You go for a Pap smear and STD test,
You’ve tested positive for an STD,
He might not know he has one.
Do you tell him?
Do you not tell him because he’s clearly not a good person?

Hey guys recently I stopped posting on my TikTok account. I grew to 3000 followers. Yes I know that’s not a lot but it just really got boring to me. I used to do AI videos and then i didn’t like it but I am looking to get rid of the account so please comment or just let me know if you guys are looking for a tiktok account and i don’t have a price in mind

I have known for a while that my husband (we are both in our 30s) talks to people online, and will even post pictures of himself naked online. Recently, I discovered that he was talking to someone online for a few months and it’s sexual. Not only is it sexual, but I saw some messages and he is putting me down. He told this person that “my wife needs to relax” and some other stuff I won’t repeat here. Also, we have discussed boundaries and I’ve told him that I have a boundary of no sexual conversations online (no sexting, pictures, etc), but I have no problem with adult videos, etc.

I work long hours and he is unemployed. I am starting to feel like he’s using me.

What steps should I take? I feel like I want to give him an opportunity to stop, but then I also feel like that’s not really respecting me and I deserve better.

For steps: do I need to collect evidence that he’s doing this? He doesn’t know that I know about it yet, should I get him to admit it and record it? Does evidence even matter? Should I just kick him out and move on? I’m lost as I’ve never gone through anything like this.

Last night, I(18f) told my mom(45F) I needed to use the washer and dryer because I needed clothes for my first day of work and pajamas for the night. She said the dryer vent had a hole in it and I had to wait for her boyfriend to fix it. I asked if I could borrow some clothes just for the night, but she got irritated and acted like I was asking for too much. I told her it always seems like something is wrong with the washer and dryer whenever I need to use them, which made her even more upset.

Her boyfriend came into the conversation even though it had nothing to do with him and started repeating what my mom had already said. I told him, "Yeah, that's the issue," and when he started yelling at me from downstairs, I told him to stop talking to me. He responded by cursing at me and calling me names, and I cursed back. My mom then came upstairs, got in my face over me "disrespecting" her boyfriend, even though I had already walked away to my room to de-escalate the situation. Instead, both of them followed me upstairs, continued yelling at me, and called me out of my name.

After I called my mom "big-bodied" because she kept running upstairs to yell in my face( and told the entire house about my abortion to humiliate me), she kicked my bedroom door open and got into a fighting stance. She got in my face, called me names, admitted she was proud of trying to fight me, and repeatedly pushed me even after I told her to back up. After being pushed multiple times, I punched her, and we ended up fighting. My sister and stepbrother only held me back as if I was the threat.

I called the police to report that my mom had hit me. After the fight, her boyfriend approached me again, taunted me, and cursed at me, so I threw something at him. The police didn't arrive until about 35 minutes later, took a report, warned that one of us could end up in jail if this continued, and left me in the same abusive environment.

Later that night, my mom listened in on a phone call with my boyfriend and overheard me saying I'd raise her electricity bill after she removed the pet gate that was keeping my cat away from insect poison. I was worried because if my cat got into the poison, he could die. Then, this morning, I accidentally left my TV on while rushing to work, which I normally do, and she used it as another reason to go on a power trip.

She sent me messages during work. She told me she went into my room and took my TV, my air purifier (even though she made me put my cats litter box into the room so now shes risking me getting sick), She wants me to pay my own phone bill with my summer job money(even though the point of me getting this job was to save for college. Im not going to have enough funds for both). She banned me from using the washing machine or going downstairs at all even though all the food, dishes, and cleaning tools are down there.

I expressed that I wont be coming back and she’s never seeing me again or hearing from me if thats the case. I told her I wanted my birth certificate and other documents and she was planning on keeping them bc she said “technically she didnt have to give it to me”. She ended up giving them to me anyways. I expressed my disgust for her and wished her well. Now Im home packing my things but I dont know where to go. I literally just turned 18. I didnt even know what I wanted to eat this morning. Idk what to do but I cant live in this situation anymore. Its making me toxic, ruining my mental, and making me a bad person. I know im not a bad person.

(I cannot go to my dad btw, he is incarcerated and my bf lives w his mom and has to ask before I can go over there. I do not have family bc everyone on my mom’s side is dead and i was kept away from my dad’s side bc of my mom).

TL;DR: I asked my mom to borrow clothes because the dryer wasn't working and I needed them for my first day of work and to sleep in. She got upset, her boyfriend inserted himself into the argument and started yelling at me, and I walked away to my room to de-escalate. Instead, they both followed me upstairs, yelled, insulted me, and my mom kicked my bedroom door open, got in my face, and repeatedly pushed me. I eventually hit her and we fought. I called the police, but they didnt do much. Later, my mom removed the gate keeping my cat away from insect poison, listened in on my phone call, and the next morning made a big issue out of me accidentally leaving my TV on.

Sorry if I posted in the wrong place but I need some advice from other Muslims

I wore hijab in the past but now after going through a divorce, thinking that wearing that would make me a good wife, would make me more respected by my husband and maybe make him nicer to me.

But now that he hasn't changed and I left im starting to struggle with wearing it.

Also my family got into a huge fight about something completely unrelated (my dad getting angry with me for something minor) and it got violent. There was a knife involved and a chair and police as well and now I feel like I am struggling so much with hijab and eveything.

It's all becoming overwhelming

Ever since Obsession came out digitally (and even before then), every time I open Instagram Reels, TikTok, there are boys wishing for their girlfriends or future girlfriends to act like Nikki. Did we miss the point of the movie? Or performative mean girls saying on social media "I'm literally nikki",both are so so bad 🤦🏼‍♀️

I'm mentioning this because it's concerning, but also because I was told by my own boyfriend that he wished I was obsessed with him like Nikki was with Bear. I told him I am obsessed with him, but obviously not 'Nikki-obsessed,' and he said he still wished I was obsessed like her , which kinda bothers me.

I get that maybe it's ragebait or he was just joking but he ragebaits me by making jokes about my appearances. One time saying he wants to kick me in my teeth(I have problems with my teeth and unfortunately I can't get help at this moment) him criticising the clothes I wear ,one time calling me overweight because he was mad at his little brother. What seriously is concerning is that everytime I point out something that bothers me,for example the fact that he told me he wished I was obsessed like Nikki,he calls himself mentally stupid and other names .

Also from what I've seen a few times,he likes videos about women not taking accountability or women prioritising their feelings instead of logical facts in arguments and I wanna talk to him about those videos specifically because I feel like they are meant for me since he liked them and he said he doesn't like them.

Im 19 my girlfriend is pregnant, I really don’t know what to do, I’m scared like really scared and I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this my dad isn’t in my life much anymore so I can’t go to him, so I would appreciate any advice on how to handle this and how to prepare. Thanks

So today around 3:00pm she had my phone and asked for my password, and I gave it to her. My sister was kind of navigating her through it and they went into my Pinterest (which my mom knows I use a lot and at one point I showed her what my Pinterest feed looked like) and in the search bar I usually search normal things, right? Well, at the top like the most recent search it said "(something) naked" which is weird because I use Pinterest every single day, and that was unusual because I don't search up inappropriate things. Ever. Also, Pinterest does not allow you to research inappropriate things. I have a feeling my mom did this because the rest of my phone has nothing bad on it, just that. Also, they checked my Snapchat. Which was ALSO weird because they didn't check any other app, just those. I don't use Snapchat, I don't even have friends ever since we moved, but when I did have friends, That is what I used it for. I know my mom, and she would do something weird like trying to pose as me searching inappropriate in the search bar or Snapchat. And all my friends are girls, because I am one too. But the only one that was texted was a boy. And it was 2 minutes ago, when I did not have my phone, just my laptop. The thing I'm using right now to write this. So she very obviously texted that trying to pose as me. She wrote: "Heyyy. Wanna meet up?" I don't even text like that, and I have no interest in boys, nor can I access any as I have no friends and don't go to school since It's summer. I just don't know why she would do this to make it seem like I was doing something inappropriate, when I wasn't. Also, when I confronted her about it, She said: "WELL, I don't like when you're on your phone." What do I do??

I ended by 1 year relationship because it was getting extremely toxic and no matter what I did to save it she never felt it was enough. Without going too deep I can say that in a lot of ways I was hurt and mistreated badly. I cared for her a lot and I know she did too - but the way she was in the relationship it was a total nightmare and gave me a lot of problems. We broke up on very polite and good terms however and said I love you and goodbye at the end. We will go no contact forever from now on.

Now I feel this urge to call her and talk some trash and to tell her how terrible she was and how much pain and suffering she caused me. I know this is wrong and if I say this the very next day my conscience is going to eat me alive and I’ll spend more time recovering from the guilt than I will moving on from the relationship itself. How do I stop this urge? Should I just give in and tell her all of that? One thing I feel is that things come full circle and everyone eventually gets what they deserve (for the better or worse) and it’s not my place to impose any “punishment” on anyone.

I feel like working on myself, doing things which I was not able to and get back my healthy mindset while taking away the few positive lessons I did get from the relationship. On the other hand there is this strong urge to call and tell her how I can do better and that she was so bad for me, which won’t help anyone and I won’t be able to take back my words. She is also not the type to take much accountability for her actions so it would be like talking to a wall anyway.

What to do? Or better yet - how do I deal with this? I can’t figure it out exactly.

Im 17F and hes 18M, and ive known him for 3 weeks and we’ve hung out twice, once solo and once in a group setting. He seems nice, and i met him through a close friend, but i cant get over the idea of spending time driving with him alone. I dont know how to tell him and this is the second time i have somewhat flunked out on a hangout with him, and its tomorrow. Should i tell him straight up or make an excuse?

Edit:
Thank you all so much for the advice so quickly! Im gonna be honest with him and ask him if we can hang out somewhere else.

My financé and I have been together about a year and a half. We have a two month old baby together I knew about his past drug addiction(cocaine) that he admitted to within a month of us dating and about three weeks ago. He admitted to me that he has been taking pills more particularly Perc’s and Dilaudid for about two years now and that about a week prior to him telling me he stopped taking them cold Turkey & started smoking a weed vape which he said smoking weed helped him quit about 10 years ago when he was on the same drugs, and that he was struggling and wanted me to know and asked me for help. So me being me I told him I don’t like it, but I’m glad he told me and that I would help him under one condition - that he agreed to take a drug test whenever I ask him to. So it’s been about 3 1/2 weeks since he told me and he came over on Friday for the weekend and on Saturday I asked him to give me a urine sample for the drug test I wanted to do and he refused, said he wouldn’t do it until later when he felt comfortable and that I shouldn’t force him to do it when I want and that I should have told him that I want one and let him decide when he gives it to me whether it be in 15 minutes three hours, etc.. now the night went on the next day went on and then he left Monday morning without giving me a urine sample. He called me on Monday afternoon after he was done work and asked if he could come back and I said no and he asked why and I said I think you know why and he hung up on me. Over that same weekend I asked him if he fell off the waggon and after multiple times of me asking, he finally admitted that someone had given him half a perc and that he took it. But he still refused the drug test, which is kind of confusing to me because if you’re going to admit that you took half a perc why won’t you take the drug test? I asked him multiple times to take the drug test and he started to get mad at me. It’s like they say the only time someone refuses to take a drug test is when they know they’re going to fail that drug test and in my situation it scares me because if he told me he took half a perc and won’t take the drug test and that tells me he has taken other drugs, possibly worse drugs(not sure they get worse), and doesn’t want me to find out about it. Help!!!