I slept with my roommate...help
Hey everyone I am a 19 year old female and am currently interning for a person in congress. I moved into intern housing and the roommate i got was 22 male. He was cool. We were totally getting along and I was finding everything to be getting along well. To preface this, I have an ex boyfriend who looks simular to my roommate and he was my first love. I got drunk and one thing led to another and i woke up in his bed and he had hickeys all up his neck and deep scratch marks from my nails on his back. Since we interned the next day it was my job to cover the hickeys. The morning after that intimate time, i scratched his back and gave him a massage (not sexual one) and found myself wanting to be closer to him. I remember parts of that night but not all of it. He had said "I dont know how last night happened but it happened, and i hope i didnt make you uncomfortable" I said I didnt feel uncomfortable at all. and now things are back to normal? not really if im being honest. I think i care about him or am attracted to him, I want to say maybe it is because of my ex? I am not sure, I have not known this guy for long and i have never had a one night stand or anything close to that. I just got out of a relationsihp a month or so ago that I ended. I want to get closer to him but it feels like i am being needy or clingy. always reaching out first, overthinking, or overanylizing his messages. I want to loose feelings or at least suppress them so i dont act wild or clingy. One thing I noted in our conversations in the past is he loved that his last girlfriend was crazy about him and clingy and everything. I am not trying to do that because i dont feel the feeling reciprocated. I need advice on how to get rid of feelings or at least find another outlet or stop myself from thinking about him. That night was magical, and i am sensing he wont drink with me again because 1 he is older and feels responsible for me and 2 he might think i am too much. Help, I am not sure what to do. Feel free to ask any questions.