u/MiissMis3ry

Hello. Im 19F, this is a throw away account i made to post this. For context, my parents have been divorced since i was around 8-9.

For starters, i never knew why my parents divorced. When i was growing up i would ask every once in a while to either mom or dad why they got divorced, and it was the same answer every time, "I'll tell you when your older" and as i got older the answer never came no matter how many times or how i asked. And now that i'm pretty sure what the reason was, i'm scared to ask again.

really all started when i was around 11 and i realized i suddenly wasn't seeing my 2 cousins (dads stepsisters kids) anymore that i saw quite often before that. I would ask my dad maybe about once a year "how are they doing? I haven't seen them in a while", and for a while my dad would say something like "oh they've just been pretty busy with their own family stuff", and that is the same type of responses that my grandparents would give me when i asked about them. But as i would begin to ask more, my dad would get more snappy and angry with his responses.

A few years later, my aunt announced her wedding date, and i was so excited to go and i made it very known to my dad my excitement to go and he made it seem like he was happy to take me. Eventually the date rolled around, i was at my moms house and realized the wedding date had already passed and my dad didn't say a single word about it to me while he still ended up going. When i went to his house the next weekend, i was a little upset and asked why he didn't remind me or pick me up for it or anything. His response was something along the lines of "oh I thought you didn't want to go" and even at the age i was, i knew that was bullshit. I told him that he knew i wanted to go and to tell me the real reason he didn't take me. He got very mad and told me that there was people that i couldn't see there and wouldn't elaborate on that any further. I later looked at the pictures a family member posted from the wedding and in my mind, there was non one there that i "couldn't" see, there was only people i knew for my whole life there, except for my 2 cousins and their parents that i haven't seen for years at that point.

About a year ago when i was at a family event, i was sitting at one of the corner couches with my cousin (only about 6 years older than me) just talking about life when i brought up our other 2 cousins. I said that i was wondering how they are and how we never see them again. My cousin got quiet suddenly before saying "do you really want to know why you cant see them anymore?" Obviously, I said "Yes?..." and she broke the news to me that my dad and his stepsister had intercourse (my dad has known his stepsister since she was about 12 and he was around 17-18). She said she didn't know how many times it happened, if they where under the influence or not, etc. But as we kept talking about it, i found out that the ENTIRE family knows about this and they all swore to never tell me, the only reason my cousin knew about it was because when she was younger, she overheard family talking about it, and they made her swear to never tell me.

As i thought about it later on, the timelines on when my parents and my 2 cousins parents got divorced started to make more since, my dads angry/irritated responses, all the same responses from any family i asked, etc.

Ive been holding on to this knowledge for so long and haven't done anything with it yet, and at times it feels like a sick hole burning through my chest. I've endlessly thought about all the scenarios that could happen from me bringing it up to my parents. Like, should i bring it up to my mom? My dad? Together? Should i ask them why they got divorced again and push for an answer instead of giving up? I mean, i cant see a WHOLE side of my family because of what my dad did while everyone else can see them all the time (from photos i see on facebook) , and my main family has just been keeping secrets from me for years.

TLDR: My dad had intercourse with his stepsister, whole family knows and swore to never tell me, I don't know how to (or if i should) confront my dad and/or mom about it.

Hello. Im 19F, this is a throw away account i made to post this. For context, my parents have been divorced since i was around 8-9.

For starters, i never knew why my parents divorced. When i was growing up i would ask every once in a while to either mom or dad why they got divorced, and it was the same answer every time, "I'll tell you when your older" and as i got older the answer never came no matter how many times or how i asked. And now that i'm pretty sure what the reason was, i'm scared to ask again.

really all started when i was around 11 and i realized i suddenly wasn't seeing my 2 cousins (dads stepsisters kids) anymore that i saw quite often before that. I would ask my dad maybe about once a year "how are they doing? I haven't seen them in a while", and for a while my dad would say something like "oh they've just been pretty busy with their own family stuff", and that is the same type of responses that my grandparents would give me when i asked about them. But as i would begin to ask more, my dad would get more snappy and angry with his responses.

A few years later, my aunt announced her wedding date, and i was so excited to go and i made it very known to my dad my excitement to go and he made it seem like he was happy to take me. Eventually the date rolled around, i was at my moms house and realized the wedding date had already passed and my dad didn't say a single word about it to me while he still ended up going. When i went to his house the next weekend, i was a little upset and asked why he didn't remind me or pick me up for it or anything. His response was something along the lines of "oh I thought you didn't want to go" and even at the age i was, i knew that was bullshit. I told him that he knew i wanted to go and to tell me the real reason he didn't take me. He got very mad and told me that there was people that i couldn't see there and wouldn't elaborate on that any further. I later looked at the pictures a family member posted from the wedding and in my mind, there was non one there that i "couldn't" see, there was only people i knew for my whole life there, except for my 2 cousins and their parents that i haven't seen for years at that point.

About a year ago when i was at a family event, i was sitting at one of the corner couches with my cousin (only about 6 years older than me) just talking about life when i brought up our other 2 cousins. I said that i was wondering how they are and how we never see them again. My cousin got quiet suddenly before saying "do you really want to know why you cant see them anymore?" Obviously, I said "Yes?..." and she broke the news to me that my dad and his stepsister had intercourse (my dad has known his stepsister since she was about 12 and he was around 17-18). She said she didn't know how many times it happened, if they where under the influence or not, etc. But as we kept talking about it, i found out that the ENTIRE family knows about this and they all swore to never tell me, the only reason my cousin knew about it was because when she was younger, she overheard family talking about it, and they made her swear to never tell me.

As i thought about it later on, the timelines on when my parents and my 2 cousins parents got divorced started to make more since, my dads angry/irritated responses, all the same responses from any family i asked, etc.

Ive been holding on to this knowledge for so long and haven't done anything with it yet, and at times it feels like a sick hole burning through my chest. I've endlessly thought about all the scenarios that could happen from me bringing it up to my parents. Like, should i bring it up to my mom? My dad? Together? Should i ask them why they got divorced again and push for an answer instead of giving up? I mean, i cant see a WHOLE side of my family because of what my dad did while everyone else can see them all the time (from photos i see on facebook) , and my main family has just been keeping secrets from me for years.

TLDR: My dad had intercourse with his stepsister, whole family knows and swore to never tell me, I don't know how to (or if i should) confront my dad and/or mom about it.

Hello. Im 19F, this is a throw away account i made to post this. For context, my parents have been divorced since i was around 8-9.

For starters, i never knew why my parents divorced. When i was growing up i would ask every once in a while to either mom or dad why they got divorced, and it was the same answer every time, "I'll tell you when your older" and as i got older the answer never came no matter how many times or how i asked. And now that i'm pretty sure what the reason was, i'm scared to ask again.

really all started when i was around 11 and i realized i suddenly wasn't seeing my 2 cousins (dads stepsisters kids) anymore that i saw quite often before that. I would ask my dad maybe about once a year "how are they doing? I haven't seen them in a while", and for a while my dad would say something like "oh they've just been pretty busy with their own family stuff", and that is the same type of responses that my grandparents would give me when i asked about them. But as i would begin to ask more, my dad would get more snappy and angry with his responses.

A few years later, my aunt announced her wedding date, and i was so excited to go and i made it very known to my dad my excitement to go and he made it seem like he was happy to take me. Eventually the date rolled around, i was at my moms house and realized the wedding date had already passed and my dad didn't say a single word about it to me while he still ended up going. When i went to his house the next weekend, i was a little upset and asked why he didn't remind me or pick me up for it or anything. His response was something along the lines of "oh I thought you didn't want to go" and even at the age i was, i knew that was bullshit. I told him that he knew i wanted to go and to tell me the real reason he didn't take me. He got very mad and told me that there was people that i couldn't see there and wouldn't elaborate on that any further. I later looked at the pictures a family member posted from the wedding and in my mind, there was non one there that i "couldn't" see, there was only people i knew for my whole life there, except for my 2 cousins and their parents that i haven't seen for years at that point.

About a year ago when i was at a family event, i was sitting at one of the corner couches with my cousin (only about 6 years older than me) just talking about life when i brought up our other 2 cousins. I said that i was wondering how they are and how we never see them again. My cousin got quiet suddenly before saying "do you really want to know why you cant see them anymore?" Obviously, I said "Yes?..." and she broke the news to me that my dad and his stepsister had intercourse (my dad has known his stepsister since she was about 12 and he was around 17-18). She said she didn't know how many times it happened, if they where under the influence or not, etc. But as we kept talking about it, i found out that the ENTIRE family knows about this and they all swore to never tell me, the only reason my cousin knew about it was because when she was younger, she overheard family talking about it, and they made her swear to never tell me.

As i thought about it later on, the timelines on when my parents and my 2 cousins parents got divorced started to make more since, my dads angry/irritated responses, all the same responses from any family i asked, etc.

Ive been holding on to this knowledge for so long and haven't done anything with it yet, and at times it feels like a sick hole burning through my chest. I've endlessly thought about all the scenarios that could happen from me bringing it up to my parents. Like, should i bring it up to my mom? My dad? Together? Should i ask them why they got divorced again and push for an answer instead of giving up? I mean, i cant see a WHOLE side of my family because of what my dad did while everyone else can see them all the time (from photos i see on facebook) , and my main family has just been keeping secrets from me for years.

TLDR: My dad had intercourse with his stepsister, whole family knows and swore to never tell me, I don't know how to (or if i should) confront my dad and/or mom about it.