r/offmychest

Three nights ago I found out my best mate of 20 years has been sleeping with my ex. While we were still together and after we split.
I’m 24. I’ve known this lad since we were four. We grew up together. Inseparable. Went through everything side by side. I thought we’d still be doing that when we were old.
Since I found out I’ve been in bits. Complete and utter agony.
The worst part is what it’s done to trust. I’ve only ever had maybe three people in my whole life I felt I could trust completely. If you’d asked me a month ago who was the last person on earth who’d ever betray me, I’d have said him without even thinking.
This was a guy I pictured as my best man. The one I thought my kids would call uncle. The one I imagined still being there when we were old men, playing golf and talking about everything we’d been through
I’m angry about what he did. Obviously. But more than anything I’m just heartbroken. It feels like I’ve lost someone who was in every single stage of my life. I don’t know how you’re meant to grieve someone who’s still alive but has done something that means you can never look at them the same way again.

Two of my coworkers played a prank on me and it hurt me really bad. They texted and told me that a good looking guy dropped off a card with their phone number and asked for me to call them. They made up this big story and encouraged me to call.
All week I’ve been asking them questions and deciding if I should do it. Today I finally called, but the number was not in service. I told them that, and then they revealed that it was all a big joke and I was the butt of it. I’m so embarrassed, they had me going for so long. They told me this in a group with a bunch of other coworkers and basically laughed in my face. I’ve been single for a while and having trouble meeting/connecting with people. I’ve also been feeling really down about new weight gain and acne, so thinking someone dropped off a number gave me a needed confidence boost.
I had my hopes up and was trying not to cry in front of them. I got back to my car after my shift and just sobbed and drove around for a bit. I’ve been crying all night since and feel so stupid and angry at them.
I know they most likely didn’t intend to be extraordinarily cruel, but it wasn’t a good joke. It’s such a shock because we all have a really good relationship and I never would have expected them to treat me so poorly. I don’t want to go to the Sunday work bbq anymore. Just really upset and feel stupid.

My 29f am in an “argument” with 28 bf cause he was being playful how women smell bad on their periods (I’m on mine) and I told him “umm you’re not supposed to smell a woman’s period. If you can the girl isn’t washing or taking care of herself..” and kept insisting that what he said was true

Then he was saying I always wanna argue over stupid things and how “no wonder why my mom says the stuff she does to me” and “idk how your mom stands being around you all day. If I have to put up with this stuff for the rest of my life I’m gonna end myself.” He knows my mom is narc and has said messed up things about me, I understand sometimes I’m at fault but I try to bite my tongue

This has been going on for 30 mins and everytime I say something I’m getting cut off and being called immature. And he keeps saying I’m not as nice as I usually am lately and honestly it’s cause I’ve been shitting down from the way he talks to me and treats me but still expects me to be lovey dovey. Like I want to be my normal sweet self but it’s hard when your bf is telling you to “shut tf up” or calling you “a big girl” in a baby voice trying to be demeaning or calling you other names

It’s my mums birthday today. 81 years young. However she died in 2003. Not 1 person, including my wife asked how I’m doing today.
It’s been shit thanks. I’ve been at work all day, I’ve collected the kids, eaten alone then watched shit tv and not once been asked how I’m doing.

I’m posting this on a throwaway because I can’t keep this inside anymore. This is not a story I wanted to ever tell publicly. But I need to say it. And I need other women to know.

I met him in college. He worked in Delhi and lived in Gurgaon. I lived in a PG nearby. He would score stuff from Delhi and we would smoke together in a park near my PG. For one whole year, we sat together for hours, smoked, talked about life, aliens, random deep things. I thought we were friends. I trusted him.

After a year, I moved to Noida for an internship. We planned to meet again. He had a bike, so he came from Gurgaon to Noida. It was May. Hot. I had a migraine. Smoking in a park in that heat didn’t make sense, so we booked an OYO just to smoke for a bit and then go our own ways.

Later I asked him if he knew any girls in Noida, just to chill. He called a girl and she came with her boyfriend. We smoked. Talked. Lost track of time. My PG gates closed at 10. By the time we checked, it was 10:30. He couldn’t go back to Gurgaon that late. So we all decided to stay.

The other couple left around 2-3 AM. I was high, exhausted, and ready to sleep.

That’s when he changed.

He came close to me. Started touching me. I put a pillow between us. I told him this wasn’t planned and we should just sleep. He didn’t listen. He forced himself on me. I was too scared to fight. I didn’t know what he would do if I said no.

The next morning I went back to my PG and blocked him. Forever.

I never told anyone like this before.

His name is Ranjeet Natarajan. He lives in Gurgaon. He comes off as a cute, confused, chocolaty boy. He acts like he doesn’t know what’s happening in the world. But he knows exactly what he’s doing.

I’m posting this because I don’t want another woman to go through what I went through. If you ever meet him, know that you are not safe with him.

Please do not mock me. This has been haunting me ever since it happened. I’m not posting this for drama. I’m posting this because I need to finally say it out loud.

To the men reading this: I appreciate it if you don’t comment. I don’t need your opinion, your doubts, or your judgment. Just leave this alone.

Thank you for reading.

I work admin at a specialist medical office so any patient interaction usually winds up going to me first and foremost.

Today, a patient came up and told me they found a wad of money in one of our exam rooms and they didn’t know who it belonged to so they wanted to turn it in up front.

I was anticipating a few random dollars.

It was $300 rubber banded together.

I thanked her for her honesty and looked at it for a moment when she left.

I am not in a good spot financially and I haven’t been for a while. I’m having to do gig work on top of the 50 hours a week I work at this job already to take care of my disabled partner. Thankfully my boss was sitting next to me so we sealed it in an envelope and put it away in case someone claims it.

But I think if she wasn’t, I would have pocketed it. As I’ve gotten more and more poor, the things I have done and been willing to do for money have surprised me. It’s not greed. I don’t care about having more than I need. I just care about not even having what I need. I’m amazed that without batting an eye this person turned in money they could have taken with no consequence and arguably no moral obligation to return and they did it without question.

And here I am, honestly just resenting the fact my boss was there so I couldn’t have just taken it. It disgusts me.

I (20 F) met this person (17F) about a month or so ago through her following me on instagram. we have a lot of mutuals and I guess she found me through her recommended. We started texting and hanging out. We have a lot in common like similar interests in media,hobbies and certain life events/struggles.

Our hangouts were completely ordinary at first. but I noticed her sense of humor is pretty implicative at times.
Lately she has been flirting with me and has expressed attraction towards me. And I feel attracted to her too. We live in a place where the age of consent is 17.

I think some context on what kind of people we both are would be good. I am someone who was kicked out at 18 with no legal documents or income. I was raised very dependent on my mom, but I have gained some capability and independence since being kicked out. After a while of couch surfing I currently stay with a family member, and do work for them around the house. I’m searching for another part time job and I want to go to college next year in January (I did one single semester but being semi homeless made it hard to continue). I would also like to move out but I am not sure when I’ll be able to do that.

She is a senior in highschool and lives with her mom. She is working 2 jobs and is saving up to move out in a year due to the unhealthy and oppressive environment in her home.
A tiny side note cause I don’t want to speak much on sex but I do think it’s worth noting she is much more experienced than I am sexually.

I really like/admire her and not just through the lens of attraction. I enjoy being around her and I really admire certain traits she has. She is so confident, outgoing, and composed when handling herself in public which are traits I kind of lack. She’s one of the first people in a while that makes me feel normal. She feels beneficial to my life and I would not want to lose her as a friend over this.

We’ve spoken about our attraction to each other and she feels that it’s not weird and says it’s consensual. she has been validating of my concerns but is firm on the stance that it’s okay.

I know she’d be looking for something not totally serious which would be okay with me but I also would be happy being her friend. I don’t want our dynamic to be weird if I tell her I don’t want to do anything romantically or sexually.

I also don’t want to be a creep or a groomer at all. I want to do the right thing.

I'm a 25F I'm pretty much a loser. I don't have friends in real life, No boyfriend. I have a job, and I don't go out besides walking and grocery shopping. I'm extremely introverted, so much so that I get awkward when people try to make conversation with me. Sometimes, I feel like I'm still 16 with how I get and it's getting embarrassing.

I never completed high school, I stopped going around 16/17 due to severe depression, always sleeping, always binge eating. I feel stupid now, second guessing myself all the time. That maybe I'm not that smart, perhaps I'm just so dumb I believe I'm smart. I forgot a lot of what I learned in high school, even basic math and how to write an essay, and even basic history facts.

Now, this entire year I've been making changes to improve my life, I'm missing 2 out of the 4 subjects for my GED (L.A and S.S), and like I said I've been walking more to lose the weight I gained from 17-24. I've now recently been looking into relearning the basics of math, history, science, and English. Yet, I still feel stupid. That at 25 I'm having to relearn all of this. I'm not even sure what to do after I get my GED.

Most days I feel there's no hope for me, and I just lay in bed, forcing myself to go out and get my 7-10k steps in, come home and lay back down. I don't even know why I'm trying to change, when deep down I feel like a lost cause. Anyway, I just needed a place to vent.

edit: deleted the og + reposted to fix title

i dont make a crazy amount of money ofc but sometimes the realisation and shame hits me all at once bc i cant believe im genuinely funding a bit of my course through online s*xual favours. i know its shameful and before anyone assumes, im not a bum, i worked “traditional” part time jobs + did “respectable” side hustles since i was 14 but letting strangers listen to me cum has literally given me more than my internships combined and it sickens me

I am not sure that I am wrong here and I feel like my (29M) brother and sister-in-law (31 M&F) are just being entitled. I'm getting heat from them and from some other people in my family but I'm not sure I care. Three years ago when they got married I was in my brother’s wedding party. For full disclosure it is possible that my frustration over how the wedding party was treated is colouring my feelings now.

We were asked to do a lot. Examples include designing, printing and cutting the wedding invitations and addressing all the envelopes ourselves, creating the bouquets for my sister-in-law and her bridesmaids using paper to make the flowers (instead of real flowers), doing all the setting up and decorating at the venue the night before, baking some of the desserts for their reception, driving my brother and sister-in-law everywhere when they had to meet with the different vendors, picking up things that they needed, creating their wedding website, making all their centerpieces by hand etc. etc. I could go on. But my point is that I (along with everyone else in the wedding parties) did a lot for them because they wanted to save money. I spent a lot of my own money, and took all kinds of vacation time and unpaid time off work to help them. I was fed up by the time the wedding rolled around because it felt like they asked way more of us than what is normal for a wedding party. I didn’t say anything in the interest of keeping the peace with my brother.

A year after the wedding my sister-in-law entered a treatment facility for her bulimia. It was a shock to me and most other people. I had no idea she had bulimia when she first went to the A&E to seek help before she got sent to the facility but she told everyone that all the stress from the wedding planning made what was already a problem worse. The reason I’m bringing this up is because my sister-in-law says she doesn’t like how she looks in her wedding photos. She talks about her appearance and says she has bulimia face in them. Personally I don’t see any difference in how she looked at her wedding vs. now but I would never say that because she’s obviously self-conscious about it. Her and my brother want to get their wedding photos retaken. But not just the two of them. They want parents, siblings and wedding parties to participate too. I said no and my brother is angry at me for it.

I refused for a few reasons. The venue is booked for weddings on weekends so we could only retake the photos on a weekday. I just started a new job and I don’t have any paid time off or sick days yet. I would have to take an unpaid day off work, drive three hours away to get to the venue, pay to rent a tuxedo for the second time on top of being asked to help pay for a photographer (after I already helped pay for the photographer when they got married).

I think asking everyone to take a day off work, drive three hours one way, pay for their tuxedos, or hair and makeup again and then also ask them to help pay for the photographer (again) is really entitled, especially after all the work and time we put into the wedding the first time. A lot of my family agree with me about how entitled my brother and sister-in-law are being but a lot of others say I’m being a terrible brother because this is important to my sister-in-law and I should be more understanding.

Me: 22
Him: 26

So I made a post on a certain subreddit and received a plethora of messages, his was the only one that stood out to me and when I say this dude was really attractive I was pretty blown away. Not only that but he was super ripped but also more on the nerdy side, he was majoring in engineering and for some reason that turned me on even more. I love the goth girl x nerdy/geeky guy combo so in a sense it felt like I was playing out my fantasy. We mutually agreed we were looking for the same thing and shared our recent STD tests.

Y’all…. when I tell you this man was the first man ever to make me reach climax, I felt like I had just unlocked Pandora’s box or something. Not only was he great in the sack, his stamina was off the charts, the passion, eye contact, pauses to caress and kiss every inch of my body turned me into a waterpark at some point. Now this wasn’t made possible by just the fact that he had the physical qualities I like in a guy.

Our conversations were pretty intellectually stimulating and he seemed to be very self aware, as am I, so we would confide in each other about our lives and what not. We acknowledged that we both have an avoidant attachment style and it made it easier for me to connect with him without expecting him to feel some type of way and that we’re both still moving on from our ex’s. He gave me the space to vent, he listened, and his advice was really sound. One of the things he had told me that still sticks with me especially after getting me to climax was that if I never learn my body, how do I expect others to know my buttons?

This dude really put me onto a lot of great advice. Here’s the part that some people might find odd because I did initially but after sex we never cuddled. It didn’t necessarily bother me at first but then I asked him why he doesn’t want to do that, he said something along the lines of not wanting to lead me on and give the impression that this is something more than what we agreed on, I can’t lie I really liked that he was honest about that and his intentions, it made me respect him even more. After hooking up though we would spend hours just talking and that’s when I realized that I think we both just needed a friend to talk to… and fuck lol.

We had similar upbringings with dysfunctional families, and the whole nine yards so I knew we had a mutual understanding. Thankfully no feelings were involved, he graduated and moved back up north and I wished him good luck on his endeavors and if he was ever around that we should hangout again. We ended on amicable terms but yes I still fantasize about him, in fact after my that whole fwb thing ended I stopped participating in hookup culture completely because my standards shot up lmao. He was truly a pleasant experience and not something you forget.

Also he deleted his reddit so I doubt he’ll see this lol….

So my fiance is in jail. I need like 4k to get him out. No one is helping me at all. His best friend just told me to fuck him and he would get the money. I don't want to fuck the guy for so many reasons most of all I don't want to be that chick that sleeps around while her dude is in jail. I don't want to fuck up his trust at all. So what the fuck is wrong with me that I'm actually considering it?? We've been together six years. I don't want anyone but him. But I want him home so bad, I'm willing to do almost anything. But this?! I am a pos for even considering it, right? Please someone talk to me about it.

I’m getting married in October and my brother is currently on his Honeymoon. I’m not doing well financially and I wasn’t able to go to his wedding since it was abroad in one of the most expensive places you could possibly have a wedding. He just texted me to let me know he’s not going to come to my wedding. When I planned it my partner and I decided we weren’t going to be mad if anyone couldn’t attend. But the reality that he couldn’t just spend one day supporting me hurts. I went to all of his pre wedding events, his local church wedding, and even offered to host his bachelor party. We didn’t do any of the pre wedding stuff, all we asked was for one day for the actual wedding. I know he is upset that we didn’t go to his destination wedding and he even said I stole his wedding year and that he wouldn’t be able to come unless I moved it to another year. But I am in my 30s and my future wife and I want to buy a house and start a family so delaying another year seemed silly. Trying to be understanding and chill but it just hurts.

I (15f) have been bullied since I started 5th grade (when I was around 10 years old, I'm starting 10th as of now), I don't know why I was bullied in the first place, because I am not unattractive, and I think I hide my autism really well, but every single time I get bullied no matter what I do. I tried switching schools, beating them, talking to a teacher, but yet again I always get bullied. I am sick and tired, because other people my age describe school years as something nostalgic but I don't have any good memory of school as I am always bullied for literally everything.

My mom says they are jealous that I get good grades and because I'm smart, but then, most of them get similar to an F in american grades and don't care. And other people say it's because of social media and how kids are becoming more ruthless. Some people also say it's because I dress minimally alternative, so there's the reason why I am asking if it's my fault, because is it my fault for wanting to dress the way I want? Is it my fault for reading books? (they also make fun of that) Should I stop being happy to be free in school? because I'm starting to think that if I was boring and normal, I'd be able to go to school.

Chili's, Applebee's, outback, etc.

They have some of the best happy hour deals and ive met some of the most interesting folks drinking and eating alone at the bar.

Id say twice a month I go somewhere like Outback, sit at the bar, chat with the bartender and pound cheap cocktails and have a steak

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I just want to rant on an account not associated with my hobbies, sorry. I'm 34m, my wife is 35, my daughters are 9 year old twins. 

Twins kind of run in my wife's family, even though she herself is not one. From what I know she was very jealous of her cousins that are twins when she was growing up, so she's been very intense about it ever since she got pregnant. When going to her 8 week appointment, she kept talking about how she hoped the baby was two babies. I thought it was funny but not weird. When we found out they indeed were twins, my wife was so happy and so excited, and of course I was happy to be having kids too. The problems started with the baby planning. 

When decorating the nurseries, she decided that they should instead be in the same room. This makes sense for new-borns, for convenience, but she always said she wanted them to share rooms forever. This seemed very silly to me since we have a 6 bedroom house. She threw us a gender reveal, and got her family to organize us a baby shower. Both parties were themed around the fact that the girls were twins; Gifts were required to be matching, all the games and activities were about things in sets of 2. This is around when my family started thinking she was being weird but I disagreed with them.

We had a bit of an argument before the baby shower, because she wanted to give the girls what to me were overly matching names. 

Her favorites were Eva and Ava. in the end she agreed that having them be only 1 letter off was silly, and we ended up with matching, but not overly obvious names. 

When my girls were born, my wife would dress them up the same every day no matter what. When one of the girls dirtied her clothes, she'd change them both, even if that meant waking one of them up. She would get mad at me if I dressed them differently. Shed get upset if they did not both want to be fed at the same time. This is when I started noticing how weird she was being about the twin thing.

(I'm going to be using those fake names from now on.)

When they started going to kinder she bought them all matching coats, new shoes, backpacks and lunch boxes. But she would also get upset if any of them got swapped (she made sure to name-label anything). One time she complained to the teacher about sending "Ana" in "Betty's" coat the previous day. Ana has always been the quieter, more calm one of the two. Now that they are older, she likes to stay home and read. She watches tv with her mom. Betty on the other hand is a lot more energetic. She likes to play outside and build things, she likes to play videogames with me, or go stay with her aunty, my sister, who is a hiker and mountain biker. She loves sports class and tennis, and last year started doing swim too. This is the origin of all our problems. My wife doesnt like that Betty is not as feminine and calm as her and Ana. When Betty started not wanting to get her hair done every morning, they had such a massive fight the house was tense for a week. My wife likes to send the girls to school in the same or matching hair-styles, and would get upset when Betty would return home with her hair in a ponytail or messed up from sports. 

They go to private school, and Betty recently also asked me if she could start wearing the boy's uniform (pants) instead of the skirt. I said I could buy them for her if that made her more comfortable. When I brought this up to my wife, she got extremely mad, and went to stay with her sister “for a week” even though she returned the next day. She never apologized but took back her threat of getting rid of the pants. I have been very upset since this happened and have been trying to take more time out of my day to talk to Betty and make sure she doesnt feel upset with her mom. 

Our biggest fight was tonight, and why im sleeping in our guest room. While i was finishing dinner and the girls we setting the table, my wife stood at the door of the kitchen and told us all that Betty would not be allowed to do swim anymore. I got upset because she said this without talking to me first, and Betty was upset because all her friends are in Swim. 

For context here, you have to know we are from immigrant families, and our home country/elders are, to be completely honest, quite racist and colorist. My wife proceeded to explain to Betty that swim makes her spend too much time outside, that she had gotten too tan, didn't match her sister anymore, and that our family back home would make fun of her about it if we went to visit this summer. I got extremely upset at my wife and told her she cant tell our girls things like that, and that it is extremely hurtful and irresponsible. Ana went and sat at the table and Betty locked herself in the bathroom. The argument kept going, and I brought up  how ridiculous she was being about "matching". That its extremely dumb for the girls to still share a bedroom when we have a perfectly usable open one, and that what she said was very obviously racist. She said she wasnt but I decided this was not worth it and went to try comfort Betty. I ended up having a long conversation with both girls where they agreed they wanted separate rooms, and apologized for arguing in front of them. Ana also told me she hates wearing matching hairstyles because their mom is "aggressive" with the brush. I apologized to her too.

After cleaning up the kitchen, I realized my wife locked me out of our bedroom, and she won't even acknowledge me when I knock. She also seems to have taken the keys from the utility closet with her, because I cant find them.

I'm extremely frustrated. I put the girls to bed and said we'll move some of the furniture tomorrow. I called my sister and we talked but now I'm just more upset. I feel like I failed as a parent. They are 9, I should have noticed sooner. I'm seriously considering divorce. But I'm worried how the girls will get treated if we end up with 50/50 custody.

I am 27 yrs old Male, got a mid-level data reporting job at a corporate company a year ago. They told me during the interview process that the job was super stressful and fast-paced, the previous employee left because he couldn't handle working 60 hrs per week doing manual labor on excel. When I came on board, I saw what they meant by that statement, everything revolved around manual processes, there were a lot of data entry, copy-pasting, and manual sql queries running on excel files, it was tedious but manageable. I know how to code, python specifically. So on my first weekend, I made a few algorithms that could access the database, do the necessary calculations, compile reports, and even format them into the appropriate pdf required by the managers. What used to take 50-60 hrs of hard work now takes my scripts about 8 minutes to run. Instead of going to my manager and telling him that I've automated the process, I made some scripts that would randomly send emails to managers regarding the status of the reports, this way, it would look as if I am always working on something. I do go to the mandatory weekly staff meetings and sometimes send a "status update" email regarding how hard it is to do the manual work, then I go back to my games, language learning apps, and afternoon walks. I've gotten two increments in my salary in the past year, the manager even told me in my last annual appraisal that he was a "lifesaver" and that the department would not have survived without my "hard work and dedication." The problem is, they are reorganizing the company structure, and my boss told me that I would be perfect for a "senior analyst" role in the new structure, the said role requires managing a team of lower analysts since the data volume is expected to increase. If I take up the offer, they would be giving me a bigger responsibility, and in return, I would have to work "harder. If I say no, then it would look super suspicious I don't feel bad about scamming corporate for the cash, but I am in a fix and don't know what to do please help.

This is a stupid post already.

Been together for around 4 years. Im a full time student and he pays the bills. He calls me names, like stupid, idiot, asshole, moocher, addict. I drink too much and I'll own all those. He tells me he doesn't like me. Tonight he didn't feel good so I called him an ambulance. He flipped me off, screamed at me, called me more names while I was trying to get him what he needed. He told me I was never there when he needed me after I had called them.

I understand he was freaked out. If I had an emergency, I would have been patient and told him gently exactly what I needed, but I've also been in Healthcare for many years so I assume that may have rubbed off. I know he was scared. He does this a lot.

I know I'm not a great person. I have substance abuse issues and I can be standoffish. I've only had one person I was with who was this mean, who made me feel this badly, and that was years ago.

I love him and when it's good it's good. But this is coming more and more and I think maybe he just doesn't love me anymore, or he doesn't like me very much, or I'm just a fucked up person and I've turned him off of me. I dont know. But without a job and without family around me I can't even get away. We have two cats and I can't imagine my life without them but I can't see myself living this way forever, always scared he'll go off on me, and always looking for a way to get fucked up so I dont have to think about the situation im in.

I really have no idea what to do. I really have no idea.

Not even just in a sexual way, though obviously that’s part of it. It’s like an actual physical dependency. Whenever we are sitting on the couch, watching a movie, or just hanging out, my hand automatically migrates to his pants. I honestly cannot contain myself.

Sometimes he will be in the middle of talking about his day and I just reach over and grab it. It’s like a stress ball or a security blanket for me at this point. If we are in public and nobody is looking, the urge to just quickly feel it through his jeans is overwhelming.

I try to hold back, but the second I stop thinking about it, my hand is right back there. I am powerless against the grip lol.