u/Fun_Strawberry_2845

Three nights ago I found out my best mate of 20 years has been sleeping with my ex. While we were still together and after we split.
I’m 24. I’ve known this lad since we were four. We grew up together. Inseparable. Went through everything side by side. I thought we’d still be doing that when we were old.
Since I found out I’ve been in bits. Complete and utter agony.
The worst part is what it’s done to trust. I’ve only ever had maybe three people in my whole life I felt I could trust completely. If you’d asked me a month ago who was the last person on earth who’d ever betray me, I’d have said him without even thinking.
This was a guy I pictured as my best man. The one I thought my kids would call uncle. The one I imagined still being there when we were old men, playing golf and talking about everything we’d been through
I’m angry about what he did. Obviously. But more than anything I’m just heartbroken. It feels like I’ve lost someone who was in every single stage of my life. I don’t know how you’re meant to grieve someone who’s still alive but has done something that means you can never look at them the same way again.

My ex-girlfriend broke up with me two weeks ago after a two-year relationship. Since then I’ve been doing all the wrong things—begging, trying to explain myself, promising I’d change. Every time she’d just say she didn’t know what she wanted and needed space.
Yesterday I finally accepted that constantly contacting her wasn’t helping either of us. I told her I was removing her from social media because I needed to stop myself reaching out all the time and actually start moving on. I said if we ever found our way back to each other, great, but for now I was going to give her the space she’d asked for.
Today was my first full day of no contact. It was incredibly hard, but I managed it. Then, at around 11pm, she called me out of the blue. She just asked how I was, what I’d been doing, and told me she’d been to the Lewis Capaldi concert. There was no discussion about the relationship. I kept the conversation friendly but fairly short because I thought we were both supposed to be having space.
Now I’m confused. Part of me thinks I did the right thing by sticking to my boundary. Another part of me is worried that if she doesn’t call again tomorrow, I’ve somehow missed my chance by not talking to her for longer or following up afterwards.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? Should I continue with no contact unless she clearly wants to talk about the relationship, or did I potentially miss an opportunity here?

My girlfriend and I have just broken up after nearly 3 years together and I genuinely think this is the most pain I’ve ever been in.
The thing that’s killing me isn’t just losing her. It’s the regret.
For most of the relationship, I was the one with doubts. I loved her, but I was always wondering if the grass was greener somewhere else. She was always the one wanting more affection, more reassurance, more certainty from me. She’d tell me she didn’t feel wanted enough, didn’t feel cared for enough, and looking back I can see why she felt that way.
Now she’s gone and for the first time I feel completely certain that I want her.
I know how ironic that sounds.
I always thought there would be more time. More time to put the effort in. More time to appreciate her properly. More time to be the boyfriend she deserved. Instead, I took for granted that she’d always be there.
Now she’s saying she doesn’t know if she wants the relationship anymore and I honestly don’t blame her for feeling that way.
The worst part is that I finally know what I want, but she’s the one who’s unsure now. For years she was fighting for us while I sat on the fence, and now the roles have completely reversed.
It’s been about a week since everything blew up and I’m struggling badly. I can’t sleep properly, can’t stop thinking about it, and I keep wishing there was a button I could press that would make her call me and say she misses me and wants to work on things.
Has anyone else been through this? Did you ever get another chance, or did you have to learn to live with the regret of realising what you had only after it was gone?