r/BreakUps

It’s the advice I’ve ignored and shouldn’t have. My ex dumped me in March, putting all the blame on me, making me feel like the worst human being alive.

After two months she came crawling back, saying how much she missed me, how much she had changed and taking her part of the “blame”.

Obviously not being over her and still being deeply in love, I gave in. So for about two weeks now, things we were amazing. We both set boundaries, addressing what had to change and actually worked on it. I had my doubts she’d been cheating on my while we were still together in the beginning of this year, asked her about it and she looked me straight into my eyes and told me she never did, and that she’s not that type of person.

Then yesterday she forgot her phone at my place. My anxious ass went snooping (I know it’s wrong, but my gut kept telling me something was off). Came to find out she’s been cheating on me since January. Found all the texts and pictures. Absolutely gut wrenching experience. So many elaborate lies that all make sense now. The signs were always there but I blindly trusted her back then, since we were together for more than 4 years.

Anyways. I feel like I’ve lost two months of healing progress with this. I had hope again. I finally felt okay for the first time in months. And I gave that away for 2 weeks of honeymoon phase with someone I thought was my person. And I hate myself for that. I hate myself for going through her phone. I hate myself for giving years of my life to someone so evil.

But most of all I hate her. Don’t trust these people. These are not good human beings. They’re manipulative, they’re so fucking elaborate about hiding things, they don’t have any decency. They can look you straight into your soul and tell you the biggest fucking lie and not even feel bad about it. And they always put all the blame on you, ruining your self esteem just so they can sleep better at night and play the victim.

Please, if you can take anything from this and you know your ex is an avoidant/narcissist/manipulator - don’t let the love you have for them blind you into thinking they deserve a second chance. Or do, but you’ll have to learn this lesson the hard way just like I had to.

We had dated for a year. Plans to get married we were very close. I’m not sure what happened really but one day she explained she is just to overwhelmed with her career and life pressures that she can’t be who she wants to be while in a relationship and left. Cried claimed to still love me. The whole thing kind of just has left me in shock, still a month later I’m still that way I don’t even know what truly happened, starting to think she lied about the reason to end things. But it’s strange because she was the most affectionate loving person I’ve ever been with, even till the end.

Well I was under the impression she just wanted to be single and focus on what she needed to focus on but now she’s on tinder? I’m just so hurt and confused, I want to ask her what’s up? I don’t even want this woman back I just I’m so confused as to if our relationship was even real? Man I wish I didn’t see her on tinder 😞 a month of healing feels like it went to waste.

I guess I wasn’t good enough? Even though she was begging me to marry her? I don’t know anymore man this breakup has broken my mental, I haven’t really been thinking straight since.

Brief backstory, I was a pt that move from one gym to another part of the country back to my hometown of Brighton as I had fallen back on hard times, prior to this before the move I was shown my future boss of the new gym by my current one and I had a feeling you couldn’t imagine about this woman, I knew something about her, almost as if we had been together in a former life.

So upon meeting my new boss in Brighton, the very same feelings, I kept this to me for many months, but in that time we had began to share life experience, pain and trauma, we grew fond of one another and 5 months later we went on our first date. It was a magical romance one I had not experienced before (6 years single prior to this), that connection was so raw, she moved me into her new home within 3 weeks, I stayed at hers while she went to visit family in Spain over Christmas a few weeks later, when she returned it was still so magical for a long time, she knew I came from a spiritual background (raised by a medium with gypsy blood) and I shared that initial feelings of I knew she would be with me, I had told my parents in the lead up to this for months that I knew I would be with her, the universe wouldn’t let me forget it.

I had been struggling with trauma for many years and used cannabis as an escape from society because I never felt enough (a realisation I didn’t know at the time) she new I had been smoking throughout our initial getting to know period something I had fallen back to after 2 and a half years clean just prior to moving back to Brighton and meeting her. I would smoke for the first moving in period and we agreed I would pack it in whilst she was on holiday, I tried so very hard but due to trauma attachment I failed to break free, the smoking sustained throughout our time together (totalling 2 and a half years) we had many vacations with her family in Spain over that time and every time I would stay clean and promise that it wouldn’t continue when back, I meant it every time but I had connected my hometown of Brighton to negativity and pain from my youth and I would always fall back.

I took a new gym management job a year in to our relationship and initially it was great but over time I came to loath it due to my colleague being a very hard time for me, I looked for a new job several months later and took the first that came up (which I now deeply regret) it turned into a further knightmare as this new facility was ten fold worse, run from the top with bad culture, I was now doing weekends and lates every other week, the separation didn’t help our situation on top of me and my struggles, loss of intimacy, she began to express unattractiveness to me due to the smoking and smell, which was totally justified.

2 years after us initially dating she had enough and we almost broke up, the candle had almost burnt out, I of course pleaded and promised this was it, we went on holiday to spend Christmas with her family a few weeks later, I was clean 3 weeks, I came back and tried so very hard for the next 5 months managed 50 days sober in total in that time, but I was down in the dumps with the job, past trauma and never feeling enough for anything be it socially, romantically and professionally.

We had another trip for my birthday with just her parents in southern Spain 3 months after Christmas one, I had changed her indeed for her and she managed to secure a new job on this holiday which was great for her because she wanted out of the gym she had been operating in Brighton. Over the next few weeks I was getting signs but because of when you are high you are not yourself it distorts everything, your total perception changes I did not grasp the gravity of what was about to unfold. We had been discussing a move back to Spain for her and a future one for me, marriage and used this holiday to search for possible locations and homes, this was all a shared future dream.

6 weeks after our break away for my birthday with her parents she broke down after a small disagreement, she said the candle had completely burned, a day later I threw it all out but she completely stopped talking to me, a day after this she messaged me in the morning after the cease in communication to say “I’m sorry I don’t feel the, I’m not ready to have the conversation right now but I need some space, can you stay somewhere else for now” me being in the totally wrong headspace I took it as it’s over completely, I messaged her mother, thanked them for everything and for bringing me into the family but broke the news of my trauma and subsequent “addiction”.

The message to her mother understandably made her furious as there is generational and cultural differences to us brits. The age gap also playing a massive factor (11yrs) me 29, her 40.

She messaged me that evening stating “it wasn’t supposed to go like this, I initially just wanted space, going to my parents about your problems really crossed a line for me, I’m sorry it has ended like this”

Messages back and forth over the next few days were extremely mixed, I asked if this is it? Is there ever a chance to reconcile? She replied “I can’t say yes or never and I think that’s pretty normal” further messages “no one can know the future, and that can only see with time. You need your time to recover and I need mine. A month is not enough even 6 months and we both know this so why we both going to be hanging into it when we both have to put energies elsewhere” 5 mins later another “I’m sorry if I left mixed messages, going to my parents really crossed a boundary and made me feel very uncomfortable, after all on Monday I could not believe all the promises and I don’t think I could ever go back” all of which is justified to me. “I’m happy to meet for coffee next week etc I just need we both need some space, there’s very good things coming for you” “I understand you want to change but I’ve already given these times and chances. I can’t stay hoping things will be different”
Of course I was in panic mode, listing out all the changes I had already made and will make, all the issues I identified. Wrong move. She was very supportive of me getting the help I needed and encouraged it greatly and wished it all well. I asked she believe in me one last time whilst I got clean from a distance and she said she did believe in me. I mentioned in this time that everything that had been our downfall was due to the cannabis and it was, the loss of intimacy, sex etc because I crawled into a whole since the new job.

I went no contact after moving out 2 days later, I did leave a very long note in frustration stating I needed greater help etc etc which now I very much regret as I had those chances many times throughout.

A few days past, she sent me a very long message basically stating this was it, concluding with if I needed closure that she was happy to meet but didn’t want to affect my recovery. I simply messaged back goodbye.

I was hurting from all the talk of marriage, moving and losing her family.

A day later I came across her in town, she saw me from the other side of the road, I immediately headed the other way. A few hours later she messaged my mother asking whether she was and I was okay, my mother and her went back and forth “He needs the time and energy to recover himself and sort out everything. And we all know these things don't get fixed in a month.

I got really upset with the blames as for me I have done and support him a lot, also telling my family he has an addiction. Why no one thinks about how much I hurt? How much he promised? I couldn't believe his promises anymore.

Is how I felt then and there and I thought it was the best for both.

I am not perfect but I am protecting my feelings.
Who knows maybe he gets fixed and one day we can carry on where we left.”

My mum was saying he only blames himself for this

She replied “it would be nice if everyone can see my side too”

My mum was in agreement with her and they ended exchanges amicably finally stating that “the we in agreement that this is his time”

Roll on a few days and I finally reached out I sent a voice note and stated this isn’t me begging or explaining what I was doing to better myself, I never thought I would do the things in the past week that I had, apologising for the repeated dealings of me and my issues but ultimately that this was an apology for putting any blame on you with my note 5 days prior and thank you for putting me here. She sent 3 voice notes back “hola, it’s so good to hear your voice” gradually getting emotional as the voice notes came through and crying, no I’m trying to hold back, these are happy tears.” The reason I did this… but stopped before actually saying why” “we both going to grow and keep doing our things” “I’m sorry it went this way, all the talk of marriage” it was much more but that’s summarised.

I sent one final one back saying “I was so very stuck, I couldn’t shake loose, that being said I still hope for the future, I will change, for the better and that it will be permanent, I just hope in the future we can sit down and discuss”

She didn’t send another voice note, just a text “Keep fighting to be your best for your self that's everything you need to focus on 🙏🏼
Thank you for messaging and apologising 🙏🏼”

I replied just with a heart and she did the same.

4 days rolls by and she texts me late on a Sunday night saying “Hola, I hope I don't bother you I just wanted to ask how you doing? 🙏🏼

Also see if you need to grab your stuff, I know you wanted the bike and the hanger and others... I have some paperwork and your suits from under the bed 🙏🏼”

I waited until the morning to reply and said “Buenos días, you wouldn’t believe how well I’m doing and that’s totally understandable, I took my empath at the time for granted because I never broke my cycle of destruction, I broke free, thank you for putting me here and saving my life. I realise now you started to detach a long time ago for protection.

I’m sorry I haven’t the time currently, I’m tending to my own garden.

I hope you’re doing well also, have a great day 🙏”

She replied ten minutes later saying
“Buenos días, that's so amazing to hear 🙏🏼

Super happy you can see it all and understand it and you smashing it!

Take care then and thank you, you too 🙏🏼”

I sent a heart back and she never replied which is understandable.

A few hours later she removed our images and stories together from her instagram, I did not react and reach out however hard.

It’s now been a total of 16 days since the message of “I’m sorry I don’t feel the same but I’m not ready to have the conversation yet, I need some space, can you stay somewhere else for now” and 4 since the removal from instagram, she is still watching my stories and viewing my posts.

I have remained sober through all of this and will continue (18 days now) I have always wanted this for me but never knew of how much weight I had been carrying from my past, I sought holistic healing and have had 3 sessions now, the first was very profound and enabled me to identify the trauma and begin to let go, the second even more profound and I found peace with it and now project nothing but positive energy, I will continue these as they give me such insight and a new sense and prospective of myself. I now can’t stand the smell and have great distain for it, I stopped smoking cigarettes too, I have broken out my shell and have begun to make friends again, I have joined 3 weekday run clubs (I ran many ultramarathons during our relationship all of which she would support me on) which she has viewed on insta, I have joined a rugby club and have begun training with them and socialising with the team elsewhere. I have signed up for bjj (she does also) and begin in a few days, I have got myself self care booked in every week like saunas and deep tissue massages, seeing family more like my nan in a care home, levelling up my career and have out my notice in with the current job (have joined a proper gym again as a pt and start in weeks), have also joined a proper athletics club in town that helps amateur and elite runners come up. With the plan of joining more groups elsewhere in the city in the coming weeks.

All of which I have always wanted for myself but because of the feeling of abandonment and not feeling enough for anything in life be it socially, professionally and romantically, all stemming from my dad at 5yr leaving my mum for her friend and raising her kids and never me and my sibling, my best friend took his life when I was 17 and I was with him the night before, my late teenage romance of 5yrs and best friends leaving me at 20yrs because I couldn’t quit drugs as I turned heavy after the grief I had from losing my best friend years prior. I got clean at 23, lost 27kg and gave everything to the Royal Marines dream between the ages of 23 and 26 both fell through on medical grounds (genetic defect from my biological father funnily enough) that was the point I fell back to cannabis six months prior to first meeting her.

I have now finally identified this and let go of the weight I was carrying because of the holistic therapy.

All I can do is continue to level up for me in every way, sustain this growth and change for good and hope of future reconciliation as I know deep down that all the future talks of marriage, moves and family was real as she isn’t that type of person.

I want this all for me above all else but of course I still don’t want to lose her forever, after the pregnancy she continued to grow but because of everything I was holding I failed too.

There is many more details such as we were pregnant 6 months in, which we lost in the first few weeks.

She has such a busy plate right now with opening a brand new facility which she goes into presale in the coming weeks, ending her current job in the same timeframe, she does bjj several times a week, and started a qualification months ago to become a health coach which she planned to as her job when we moved in a couple years. I understand that she just hadn’t the time to deal with me and my former issues and even currently.

But I am changing, and forever, how do I overcome hurdles to showcase this? You can’t force no one but the universe has told me this isn’t how it goes and that when things settle she will see and we can start a fresh book one with me being a complete partner in every way. I know deep down she feels that connection too, is the broken trust rebuildable? Of course but only if both parties are willing. I know she hasn’t the time to even take a new relationship on and That tools she would need to find another relationship would be the same tools we would need to mend ours.

We semi ran a pt over the years and her meta is all linked with my pt accounts and overseas them as such which hasn’t been discussed, she also leaving my mother on her insta which has my beautiful mother in law etc written on it. I know I shouldn’t over analyse

Ask questions, give advice, I’m all ears

I’ve been dating a girl for around 6 months. I started noticing weird behavior from her around 4 months in, but no concrete evidence of anything so I just chalked it up to me needing to trust her.

Today, she booked a Disney hotel room. I met her at the pool bar around 5, we had a few drinks and talked about our future together. I quite literally looked her right in the eye and told her to please not break my heart. I then told her that you have my complete trust until I have a reason to lose it. She agreed and said some sentiments back.

The pool bar had closed, so we went up to the room for me to unpack my bag and stay the night. While in the bathroom unpacking, I had to move the garbage can on the floor. Underneath the garbage can was a used condom wrapper. I immediately asked her about it, she paused for about 10 seconds and looked me in the eye, and told me that she slept with someone last night. I packed up, wished her the best, and suggested professional help.

I’m truly at a loss for words at how people can be this sick and crazy. We had literally just spent a few hours prior talking about our future together, and how she would always be loyal to me. Meanwhile, she slept with someone 12 hours prior.

Edit: Thank you everyone for the kind words. This has been a traumatic experience for me, as I’ve never been cheated on before. I’m seeking therapy now and have a session scheduled for Monday.

Me M18 and my gf F19 have been together 9 months.
Over the last few weeks/months I have felt the need to break up on and off. I get easily agitated by her and I don’t know why. I’ve said this to her and she asked if there’s things she can change or we can could change about the relationship but I don’t see a way to settle my thoughts on the issue. She said she’s not going to beg me to stay as she has already done that after I tried to break up before on a different issue ( lying about her past bfs). She is a very loving gf and she says she’s wants to marry me and have a family with me but I feel weird when she talks about that stuff. The relationship is a good one but she just annoys me when she does certain things, certain things I used to find amusing now just annoys me and I don’t want to bottle it up and explode on her and I also can’t bring myself to break up with her because I do love her and her family but there’s something wrong that I can’t pin point and it’s driving me crazy
I don’t want to lead her on or try have this conversation again in the future and I just push her away trying to fix it or potentially make the mistake of breaking up and really regretting it.
How can I manage this?

I need help with everything right now. We’re going to call me Jack and call her Jill. Jill pursued me 7 years ago. I just graduated high school and told her not to get her hopes up because I didn’t want a girlfriend. Jill was my first girlfriend. We’ve both done some things in our relationship that would make one another lose trust and be hurt. My wrong doings were worse and I acknowledge that and take accountability. I’ve cheated physically, virtually, every way possible. She is aware of only a fraction of the multiple occurrences.

We are both young (early 20s). Throughout our relationship, there has been plenty of time where I did actually want it. I did and do still love her, but I just wanted to experience the fast life and live on the edge. This is no excuse for my actions, I’m just reflecting. I purposed early this year in February and she said yes.

We haven’t been as close as we were when our relationship had begun. I’m sure that’s somewhat normal, honeymoon phase? She has always wanted me more in our relationship, it has been so unfair the entire time.

Jill unengaged me 3-4 weeks ago now. I’ve been sad the entire time. I’ve never cried more tears in my life. Obviously I am the reason for this entire thing. If I only had made better choices and been a better partner then I’m sure this wouldn’t have happened. Last week I was having a tough time and was begging her to hangout with me one night. She has originally told me yes but that changed. She went to go help her friend because her car had broken down. Then she was dropping her friend off and ended up being with her friend, but having sex with someone that was there. I have been caught and did wrong as well so I feel like I can’t hold that against her. Especially since I wasn’t being intimate with her too often, due to my own insecurities and struggles.

I’m at a point now where I just don’t want to lose my best friend. She’s all I’ve know for the last 7 years. Idk how to talk to girls and I also don’t want that. I just wanted Jill forever and to be the mother our my future children.

We haven’t 6 animals together, our first apartment, and our first real car. This has been a really hard time for me and I’ve been coping with alcohol and I haven’t ate in days. Currently on a 84 hour fast, with no intentions or thoughts to eat again soon. I’m good at expressing my feelings or talking about them, another reason why she unengaged me. I keep my feelings inside all the time.

I’m not really sure the point of this post. I think I just needed to rant. Everyone guy I talk to about this just tells me get hammered and bang girls, but that’s not what I want. I’m not sure how to move on and move forward. I had so many hobbies and now mostly everything is sold and gone. I ripped up all our physical memories, cards, photos, pictures, paintings. I don’t want to lose her but if she does accept me back and is willing to try and work on us, how can I trust her?

Thank you for listening.

A lot of things remind me of my ex and I wonder if he thinks of me the way I do. When he watched a character in a movie give her boyfriend a sandwich with a sticky note and polaroid picture of them on top did he think of when I did that for him? When he runs his second marathon coming up in a week, will he think of how I was the only person who went to support him with a poster at his very first marathon that he trained all year for and was super nervous about?

Clearly, these things make me think of him. But I also already think about him a lot. My friends (male and female) say that guys are simpler and make those connections, so he most likely doesn't think of me.

For context, he broke up with me 7 months ago and has had a girlfriend for the last 5 months. He also blocked me a few months ago. I think I thought I was special to him, but my friends don't think I meant that much to him so I don't know.

We both agreed love is meant to be a choice. We are meant to be willing to show up for eachother and fix our stuff. Where the hell is that now? Don't ever bullshit me by saying you choose me again. Because clearly you don't.

I don’t know what to do about my feelings. I noticed that I can’t love anymore. I noticed that I can’t trust anymore, and I noticed that I cannot be loyal to anyone anymore. Every time I think that I’m healed I get the same dream about my ex. It’s funny to think that like, I thought that those boys that treated women like shit because of one little like break up was dumb but here I am doing the same thing. I had dated this boy when I was 16 years old going on to 17. One point I had gotten kicked out and he asked his parents to let me move in with him. We were super toxic. He would always cheat on me and I didn’t understand why, but I still love him no matter what… I cheated on him too, but it was more like to get back at him for cheating on me. And obviously it didn’t help anything I think if anything it just made it worse, I eventually started to like really lash out and I did hit him a few times and I of course always regret it even to this day. We were together for almost 3 years, and I was living with him for almost 3 years. And one day out of nowhere he just wanted to break up with me and I didn’t understand why cause he never told me why he just said that he didn’t love me anymore. And ever since Ive been so heartbroken. It’s been almost 4 to 5 years since we broke up. And yeah, I still think about him and I still want him. I feel like that was the most deepest connection I’ve ever had to someone. And there’s probably seems so crazy but after I break up, I was so obsessed with him I would literally stalk his page all the time… one time I even showed up to his house unannounced. I would try to dress and look like the girls he was talking to just to see if he would like me back. I would be lying if I said that he never reached out. He definitely did after our break up and I didn’t understand why he would reach out cause I thought he was just done with me, especially considering the fact that after our break up he wanted to go no contact and it was like super hard for me. Anyways, the point of this is that I found that I cannot be in a relationship with anyone due to the fact that I simply cannot love them and I can’t be loyal and I feel bad because I want to love again and I like the feeling and having the idea of someone loving me back and not leaving me but I know in the back of my head, I still want him. I don’t know what to do anymore. And I’ve already tried therapy and medication. Is it just cause I haven’t found the right one? Or am I gonna be permanently damaged?

A strong hold on moving on the love we shared is now gone. I cried a river of tears when I heard our song but I know its best to move on dont look back but I peak sometimes trying hard not to hold on to the times you were mine. I can’t believe what you done now I could never understand but I guess I always knew when to back my mind we weren’t meant to last and maybe you knew too and that’s why you never stayed the music box. I got you is broken, but sometimes it is still winds in my mind. I guess we were destined two soul ties from the past, but in this lifetime we weren’t meant to last we almost made it official walk down the aisle, but you’re only temporary and your betrayal was wild so I released you today. No tears left to shed trying to move on, but the memories are still in my head so I heard our song today and release what was left. I know we can’t go back. I know there’s nothing left. You were another lesson that I had to learn. Sometimes you love somebody but learn to know you’re worth know when to walk away like Kenny Rogers said that was a song of ours too many memories of that song left in my head, but they no longer play like they once did I can wish you the best, but I can never understand what you did.

You never meant to give your heart away,
Not even enough for love to find its stay.

From the very start, your touch felt incomplete,
A shadow dressed in closeness, then retreating in defeat.

I tried to read the distance sleeping in your eyes,
The silence wrapped in sorrow, the ache behind replies.
I asked you for so little, to make this place feel true,
Not another passing guest, but a home belonging to you.

I never asked for grandeur, silver words, or gold,
Just honesty that lingers when the nights grow dark and cold.
A love that learns to settle, unwavering and smooth,
Not something born in chaos with a restless need to move.

’Cause the woman that I knew would always say her grace,
Whether Michelin stars or paper plates adorned the place.
There was beauty in your gratitude, a light so deeply true,
The kind that made the ordinary feel sacred when with you.

I was taken by your spirit, not the surface of your skin,
But the strength you carried quietly through storms you held within.
The way you’d stretch the little things and somehow make them last,
The honesty inside your eyes that never wore a mask.

And when you stood beside me, my whole world seemed to shift,
A glance from you could quiet storms and feel like heaven’s gift.
Beauty in its purest form, simplicity and grace,
As though the world grew softer every time I saw your face.

But somewhere in the silence, something slowly came undone,
Or maybe time just stole the warmth that once outshined the sun.
I only had a moment, perhaps a breath or two,
With the woman that I cherished before I started losing you.

I do not know the burdens or the wars you’ve fought alone,
The parts of you life altered in ways I’ve never known.
But that is not the woman my heart still reaches through,
The one whose quiet goodness made me believe in something true.

I stayed through every fracture, through the waiting and the ache,
Still hoping deep inside you, she’d somehow reawaken.
But truth does not ask permission, nor pain pretend for you,
The woman I learned to love…
Is not the woman I once knew.

i’ve been so full of such anger towards my ex lately that i genuinely want him to suffer for the rest of his life. i’m so afraid that karma will bite me in the ass for thinking it, but i would seriously be so happy if his life were ruined. i have so much hatred towards that man that i wish i could beat him up. does anybody understand me?

I’m not reaching out because I don’t want to hurt you. I still love you & I always will. I want to try again in the future. I’m sorry. I’m trying to respect your wishes because I want you to be happy. I wish you could understand. I don’t want you to hate me. That thought is unfathomable to me. But if that’s what it takes for you to be happy, then do it. All I want is your happiness. I’m mad too. I’m mad that you only cared when I left. I don’t understand why you didn’t try when you still had me.

i want you to reach out to me and I want to see eachother sometime this summer. I want to explain everything in person and fight and understand eachother. I love you. I haven’t deleted anything of us or you. To me, we aren’t truly over. I love you Alex.

( i’m posting this on reddit so if you are looking for me, you’ll find this message. )

I love you and I miss you, Monique

It felt good to walk away from your place just now knowing I was right all along about you .

The nasty gal you are cheating on me with this whole time can have you she will be disappointed when you are the same cheating lying drunk person and that you haven't changed at all.

I have you my life for 3 years and ya what I realized today when I came home and read your old messages from our 3 years is how shitty you treated me this whole time .. you're an evil mean hateful person that dont deserve everything Ive done for you some day you will be sorry for abusing me mentally and physically you just lost me for good now I can move on and forget you ever existed so thank you for letting me look back and see that your not worth the pain you do to me ..I think when you look up narcissists the definition will bare your name ..you have no power over me anymore ..

You knew how sick I was this evening when we went to bed and still you chose to wake me up at 1230am knowing that I have to work my ass off in the morning and I told you I was feeling not right like hoping I wasn't having a heart attack and you still just had to wake me and keep messing with me till I got up and drove home ..

What a sicko for treating like that you don't deserve me anymore Im not even sad I'm disgusted with the real POS you truly are . You have no love for me and you never cared ..you will have to pay for all the mean shit you have put me through at some point of your life and I have to say that will be the best day of my life ..

P.s and to the hooker you chose to cheat on me with he's all yours I don't care about either one of you .. trying to love him is like the worst nitemare you will ever have and as long as your with this evil dude your life will be miserable and unhappy ..just remember your not gonna be the only gal he's dating there will be many ..good luck to you both you guys are not right in the head goodbye glad to be done with this .

I had a flashback to one of the most embarassing moments of my life. Blocked my ex cause he never changed his micro-cheating behavior, a month after I'd downloaded tg and saw him there so it triggered a bunch of bad memories, I couldn't control my impulse, so I went to our instagram messages where 3 months ago he'd sent me a reel about being loyal and pettily replied something along the lines of "Yeah thinking of other women you mean." Deleted it a few minutes later. I hadn't actually known he'd had gotten into an official relationship 2 months ago so it made me look like an obsessive narcissistic ex. Anyway long story short I'm just mortified I did that.

Allow oneself to be loved by someone new.
Why return to someone who had every chance to love you correctly but chose to abandon you?
You cried, questioned your worth, and bore pain that you did not deserve. That wasn't love.
True love will never leave you wondering where you stand.
Choose someone who is fully committed to you.
And if the past ever calls, make your future self proud enough to turn away.

Breakup hurts but nothing is more uncomfortable than sitting in complete silence after months of chaos. Yes, break up hurts but the discomfort of feeling relief on losing them is what would kill you. I loved them, and I know I still do. I bled and I shed tears for months trying to keep them but these feelings, I don't like this. It makes me feel like what we had was nothing, when I know to myself that I gave my all till I ran out.

But maybe that's the truth we were both too afraid to admit: we were both running on empty long before we let go.

We loved each other; I know we did. Not the shallow type of love that people easily abandon, but the kind that keeps you going even when you're exhausted. The kind that continues to choose each other despite every misunderstanding, sleepless night, and difficult conversation. We kept trying. God, we truly did.

But somewhere along the way, love no longer felt safe for both of us. We became two wounded people, trying to console each other while bleeding from the same wounds. And no matter how much love we still had, we were both too tired to bear the burden of who we had become.

I believe that is why this hurts differently. Because there is no true villain in our story. There is no easy person to hate. Just two people who deeply loved each other but gradually lost themselves in the process of attempting to make things work.

And maybe that's why the silence is so loud now. We've gotten so used to chaos, fixing, crying, and clutching tighter every time things go wrong that peace almost feels unnatural. I still miss them. I'm still thinking about the good in us. But, at the same time, there's a quiet relief that neither of us has to suffer in that way anymore.

That's the part no one prepares you for: grieving someone while also mourning the version of yourself that can no longer be saved.

Because the breakup did not result from a lack of love. We both ran out. I ran out of energy. I ran out of reassurance. We ran out of ways to stop hurting each other without intending to.

And perhaps loving someone sometimes entails accepting that the kindest thing you can do for each other is to let go.

Was dating a guy who was also my bestfriend initially. We dated, he knew my stance on sex etc that ibdont wanna increase my body count will do it only if it is serious. He promised to marry, planned the wedding. He was probably lying about his income source and to hide it he did what i am gonna write next.

He told me that his dad would divorce his mom if he gets mareied to me. And that his mom who was in favor begged him to not let the family break apart and without fighting he made his mom do the break up tjing. Infuriated i called tried reàching out, did not respond. Met next day i was broken he said he loves me and he will fix things. Then after a week he started ghosting me and the last thing he said was that his parents have gotten really sick he is also sick amd 2 days je did not receive my 400+ calls nor texted. His mother would not pick up the call either. :)

So I,21F was really devastated when my ex 20M broke up with me.

According to my observation he from the very start was never interested in me he was more into the idea of me loving him and I did love him for 2 years.

At the start of this year I was bawling my eyes out!! Crying everyday, everytime and everywhere (it was embarassing) I did tell everyone I know,how I loved him soo much!! But still he broke up with me.

He called me narcissist, called me a whore just because I joked about selling my ovum can you all believe!!

It's nothing people,he used to hate my only good friend because of his gender and I blocked my tht good friend multiple times just because he asked me to do so.

But guess what who is still here and who ain't?

When I asked him why is he breaking up with me (drenched in my years btw) he replied because I have guy friends and he wants his gurl pure👁️👄👁️(judge him you all hahaha)

I am virgin and it doesn't even matter to me but if someone makes it a bit issue it simply doesn't sit right to me.

Even after this all I decided to be there for him again when he was dealing with something so big but again he lead me on and left.

When I asked him to explain he replied he thought I changed for good but I am still same well everybody I wasn't the one calling him stupid names and tbh I completely moved on now haha.

It feels great you know,I was very suicidal last year because of him guess who survived it all,I did!!!

Hear me out now if you are dealing with something similar cut them off! When you still have time or they will do it for you and then blame it on you saying you are characterless 🐸

I still stayed and he didn't even give proper apology.

So mine ex was lusty af!! You all will not believe!! Even after breaking up with me he expects me to sext with him,ain't it funny? I mean boi!! Wae?

It's so embarassing he used to send me picture of hissss dihhhh nah man not interested!!

I don't wanna see him again.

I didn't expect the blow to be this bad.

Long relationship, I wanted to marry him, did paintings, poetry and more for him. He was my muse, my dear, the light for the hard days... I was there for him on his lowest, helped him get his dream degree, his house, his car, his pc.

We adopted two cats, lived together...

We had our ups and downs, but I was fully committed, not once such a thought crossed my mind... yet, every argument we had he throwed breaking up on my face. I didn't think of ending things, but now I can see this was something on his mind for a long time.

I forgave the things that hurt the most, worked on us... and now, three days before I decided to propose, this happens.

What am I supposed to do? I spent so many years with him, what else am I supposed to do.

I don't know what I'm doing.

How to cope, how to live... years, thinking of marriage every month, fucking paintings I did for him

This is awful