u/Thornoxis

Me and my ex fiancee both in our early 30s just broke up a month ago.

She had an avoidant attachment, I have a secure but lean anxious when someone pulls away.

Before we broke up, we only got engaged 2 months prior, everything was perfect, we both loved each other.

The problem was, we always triggered each other and didn't understand what was causing constant arguments.

Suddenly, she started finding every single flaw and any attempts I made to talk about the relationship resulted in her thinking I was manipulating and accusing her, which wasn't my intention and furthest from the truth.

I didn't even get an explanation as to why we broke up, she kept threatening the relationship which triggered me and put me in panic mode trying to explain myself and making things worse in the process. Eventually, I was that triggered by the constant threats, I told her if she wants to break up to block me on everything and send the engagement ring back (we were long distance at the time) which I regret saying. She took the way out and immediately blocked me. I immediately regretted saying this.

Any attempts I made on a new account to reconcile were blocked immediately. Another attempt wasn't blocked, but simply ignored and left unread.

It's been over a month, and I haven't received any communication or unblocking, I asked her best friend and they just told me to get over it and she said she didn't think there was anything left to discuss. Her friend called me a manipulator, and that asking for a ring back isn't a man's act. I don't think she even knew any more details than all the negatives.

I have seen 2 reels she reposted on her Instagram. One being about one person she tries to find in everyone else and constantly being on her mind. Another reel about how they would have kept trying 1000 times if it wasn't for one day that made them extremely disappointed, and therefore ended the fight.

I really would do anything to get her back, she was the love of my life. But I have a feeling she's never going to come back and I'm truly devastated.

I'm from Australia, my long distance girlfriend is from Russia. We were together for 1.5 years. Both early 30s.

We met in Bali January 2025 and I instantly fell in love. We went on another vacation together in September and had an amazing time.The first year of our relationship was fantastic, she was extremely tentative, understanding, flirtatious and curious. We would talk about our attachment styles, and genuinely it could not have been a better match. We could talk about anything

About 2 months in, she was already pushing for marriage, and I definitely wanted to marry this girl, I thought she was absolutely perfect.

Attachment styles are where this relationship started to take a toll. She said she was anxious avoidant, and I have an anxious attachment when things don't feel secure.

Whenever I noticed she was pulling away, I noticed. I noticed she was becoming less warm, attentive, flirtatious, understanding, etc. Suddenly, she was too busy to talk a lot of times. But we still had a good relationship. We went to Thailand in May and got engaged.

We had already booked another trip for Thailand in June this year to get married, but unfortunately, it failed because we didn't have enough time. Because of this, she was very distant in our June vacation, not as conversational, not as physically close and something just felt off. We ended up having multiple petty arguments.

After this, it's like a flick switched. She was bringing up every single negative aspect about me, no matter how small. She was angry I asked her to split the accommodation this time, despite paying for everything for all our other vacations. When we got back from Thailand she didn't know if she loved me anymore. Every second day it's like an argument was appearing out of no where, even though it wasn't my intention, she just thought every single thing I was trying to talk about was a direct accusation towards her.

About a week ago, one of these petty arguments happened again. She said she was sick of just talking all the time and needed action. I told her I was trying to take action from afar, I was organising her visa, sending her flowers, etc. but she wouldn't hear it.

It eventually ended with me being emotionally overloaded telling her if she doesn't want to be with me, then to enjoy being in a sanctioned warzone for the rest of her life and to block me if she was really sure.

I didn't mean those words, but I was blocked on absolutely every platform. Attempts to send flowers and gifts were met with silence. Attempts to reach out were met with silence. She just vanished into thin air.

I don't know how to move on from this. She was beautiful, the version I remember her as in the start of the relationship is the one that's stuck in my head, despite her completely changing.

All I want is to reconcile with her and move forward, because I know what we had was real. I fucked it up by trying to reach out afterwards though, I made a new account and was blocked immediately. I just want to have a discussion about what happened, but she has just vanished off the face of the earth.

I was engaged to a FA, in a relationship for 1.5 years, she really wanted to get married, we got engaged 3 months ago.

I felt her pulling away, not putting in effort anymore, etc. any time I tried to discuss the relationship and my feelings, it would be twisted and somehow I was the one to blame for everything. She would suddenly tell me she was unsure about everything and unsure if she loved me out of nowhere.

Things got heated a few days ago, I stupidly told her if she really wants it to be over to block me, simply out of heightened emotions and fear during a petty argyment. She blocked me on our main platform of communication, but I'm not blocked from anywhere else. She still has photos of us everywhere, including the photo of the engagement ring.

I feel like this isn't a good way to end an engagement, and I've tried to reach out to her on other platforms, but she simply will not open any of my messages.

Do I just need to give her space, do you think she will come back?

I'm Australian and I've been in a relationship with a Russian girl for 1.5 years.

We met overseas in Bali and hit it off instantly. We would always express our feelings to each other, resolve conflicts quickly and always understand each other. It seemed like the perfect relationship, I couldn't believe how lucky I was to have such a beautiful girl.

She was always eager and pushy to get married, have kids, move here and settle down. Myself being from a country isn't the norm to move so fast, I guess it started to take a toll.

We went on several vacations together through the 1.5 years, to Malaysia, to Thailand in March, then Thailand again in June.

Fast forward one year, to January 2026 and I notice she is not as emotionally close to me as it was in the beginning. For reference, she has an avoidant attachment and I have an anxious attachment. When I started to bring up these things, she would suddenly get very defensive, and always think I'm making accusations when I was only trying to describe my feelings.

Despite a few rocky times, when we went to Thailand in March with a group of her friends, asked her to be my wife, she was ecstatic. We were as close as we had ever been. We even tried to get married, but unfortunately there was an issue with a signature on one of our papers from the embassy, and we simply didn't have enough time to re-do it. This had devastated her.

2 months later, we jumped the gun and booked another trip to Thailand, she wanted to get married. Unfortunately, despite me telling her we couldn't, due to not having any embassy appointments available on the days we were going, she took this very negatively. I mentioned that it would be impossible to get married, and I guess that was the beginning of the end.

On our Thailand trip in June, it was noticeable there was some resentment built up. She was no longer fun and bubbly, didn't really initiate much physical contact, and everything just seemed different from our other trips. She didn't tell me she loved me, or anything. We had many arguments, everything I did wrong, it was like she was keeping score. The one big thing is I had asked her to pay for some things this trip, as in all our other vacations, I paid for everything. I probably spend $10,000-15-000 for the both of us on all these trips. I told her this because I couldn't keep afford going on a vacation so often and spending for two people, I couldn't afford it.

We left Thailand and went out separate ways, she ignored me for 3 days after arriving home. When we finally spoke, she was absolutely aggressive, telling me it was the worst vacation ever and it was a waste of time and wanted to break up. We managed to get through this first hurdle. But after this, she basically said she doesn't know how she can get her feelings back for me and doesn't know she loves me anymore.

For the next few weeks, we weren't really talking much and the conversation was hollow. I brought this up again recently, and it was the final straw. Although I didn't throw any accusations at her, she took all my feelings and thoughts I laid out as accusations. She said we should have ended things, and doesn't want a visa anymore (despite knowing I was going to get her a visa in the next week).

She said she needs a responsible man who takes actions, and words mean nothing to her. She didn't want a guy to just have conversations with. I mentioned that conversations were the only tool we had, but she didn't listen.

Long story short, she got heated up again and ended up blocking me.

From my perspective, this emotional distance with her started around the time she became close with her gay friend. I met him, he was lovely. He would do anything at the jump of the hat, and started doing everything for my girlfriend, filling that physical void. In turn, I believe this is what destroyed my relationship, as she started expecting all the actions her friend was doing, from me.

I believe Russian men are very direct, make all the decisions, and everything like that for their partner, as well as paying for everything.

I don't know where I'm going with this, but I'm upset. She was my love, and now I'm back to square one.

I just don't understand how we can go from happily engaged to wanting to get married 2 months ago, to broken up