u/Curious_Dot3635

[removed]

So my dr prescribed.25 to start like everyone else. I am impatient however and took it upon myself to dial to .5 first time. So far just a touch of nausea and rumbling guts but thats it. It has only been 3 days. Am i in for a world of hurt? Weirdly they gave me enough for .50 four times even though its supposed to be .25. Probably shouldnt have done it but again…impatience

He was an awful person. I always wondered how I would react when it happened. I found out this morning and I don’t feel sad. I have a heavy numb kind of feeling in my chest. He was abusive to me and my sister our whole lives but I went NC when I was 25 and it was wonderful. My mother is also a narcissist but it will be interesting to see if she changes at all now that she isnt under his controlling thumb. These are some of the things he did.

- beat us with a belt every Sunday morning from the time I was 2 or 3 because he said we woke him. As we got older we tiptoed around whispering but he always said we woke him

- my sister was a chronic liar and anytime she did something and lied he beat us both

- hung me by my hair beating me because the babysitter let my friend come in and have some soup one summer while they were at work.

- used to pull into fun places to turn around but would say to us “who wants ice cream” or whatever the place was just to get us excited and then drive away. My mother did actually get mad at him over that

- didnt speak to my aunt (his sister) for 2 years because she didnt take advice on something. Then beat us when we asked about her.

- sued his father over land his father gave him for FREE because my grandfather wanted to put an access road between his property and the property he owned next door. My father didn’t want to lose 5 feet on his free 2 acre waterfront property

- I won a bolo bat championship tournament and won a golden bolo. It was a heavy plastic bolo bat with metallic gold paint. He broke it in half beating me with it.

- beat me just for the sake of beating me. I can remember so many times crying and asking what I did.

- I was 5 minutes late getting out of sunday school (they never went to church, just dropped us off and picked us up) because they held us back to finish the lecture so he took me home and beat me.

- threw my sister down a flight of stairs because she ran away but came back the next day

- I was SA’d at 14 and got pregnant because of it. He and my mother beat me because how could I do that to them. They were worried the neighbors might find out

- beat our cat because he got up on the counter and bit some hamburger meat. Beat their dog because it didnt do what he wanted

- tried to hit my 2 year old daughter because she stuck her tongue out at my mother (my mother taught her it) This was the last straw for me. I snapped and yelled to NEVER touch my daughter. I went NC after that.

He beat us with a belt on a regular basis until I was about 16 and he tried to hit me one day and I grabbed him by the arm and snarled in his face to never touch me again. I left home as soon as I graduated high school.

None of his family wanted anything to do with him for years. I don’t feel sad and as I write a lot of this stuff it brings back a lot of anger. I am going to let it go now. No sense holding onto it. An era has ended and another horrible human has left this earth