r/AskIndianWoman

Posting on behalf of my friend .

I (30F) had been seeing someone (33M) for a few months, and we decided to take our first trip together.

During the trip, I realized we weren’t as compatible as I had thought. Towards the end of the trip, I told him I didn’t think we were a good match. We ended up having an argument, and I said that I had lived a very different life and had different experiences, which I realize may have hurt him.

After the argument, he repeatedly asked me to come eat because neither of us had eaten anything. I refused because I was emotionally drained, upset, and just wanted to sleep.

The next morning, we had a bus to catch. We didn’t speak at all. He picked up his bag, left without saying anything, and deleted the bus tickets from our WhatsApp chat. I was shocked and panicked because I still had to figure out how to board the bus with my luggage. I eventually managed to do it, and when I got on, he was already seated. We didn’t acknowledge each other for the rest of the journey.

I’m curious how others would view this situation. Was I wrong in how I communicated my feelings? Was his reaction understandable, or did deleting the tickets and leaving without a word cross a line? I genuinely want unbiased opinions from both perspectives.

I had a friend (21F) and we were really close at one point. Things went downhill when she got a boyfriend and, out of nowhere, told me I was “nothing compared to him,” even dragging in stuff like my height. That was enough for me to step back, so I stopped talking to her.

A while later, she called me crying, saying she missed me a lot. I forgave her, and things went back to normal. She’d share everything with me, and I’d listen.

Then one day, I was having a genuinely bad time in college and opened up to her. She brushed it off and instead started arguing with me. That honestly hurt more than anything else. I ghosted her again.

She came back apologizing, saying she was going through a lot of fights with her boyfriend. I still supported her because that’s just how I am, but internally I was done.

Now I don’t feel anything—no anger, no attachment. I don’t even see her as a friend anymore. I never had any romantic feelings for her, but I also don’t have the energy to keep someone in my life who only shows up when it suits them.

At this point, I just want to quietly walk away for good.

Am I wrong for feeling this way? Is it okay to just cut someone off like this without any confrontation, or should I say something before ending it for good?

I got married a few months ago, and my husband has now returned to his job abroad. I am currently living in India while my visa is being processed. We stayed together for a month at my in-laws’ place before he left, and I also work remotely from home.

At the moment, I’m alternating between staying 10 days with my parents and 10 days with my in-laws, but I honestly hate living there. I constantly feel judged for what I eat, when I wake up, and what I wear. My mother-in-law makes comments and taunts about everything, from my body and hair to wearing pyjamas all day or waking up at 8:30(which is very late according to her as she wakes up at 6).

I don’t want to keep living with them, especially since my husband is not here right now. While they are polite to me, I do not feel loved, respected, or comfortable in that house. My visa will take at least 3–4 more months, and I would much rather spend as much time as possible with my parents before I leave the country.

Help me with how to handle this.

I will tell you the biggest reason why people are not getting married nowadays and find it so difficult to find partners. First of all always remember this

1. Compatibility doesn't equate to happiness. The so-called compatibility among two people has nothing to do with developing charm and attraction amongst each other. The rules of physics don't apply in love and love is without logic. I'm not saying not having is bad on the contrary it is good sometimes. Sometimes the opposites attract sometimes similar attract, something opposites hate each other sometimes similar hate each other. So there is no straight jacket formula in attraction and without attraction a relationship cannot survive. So stop trying to find a compatible person just check your inner vibes, your gut feeling, your instinct etc

2. Too much communication is a relationship killer. If both the partners know almost everything about each other, the element of surprise and novelty is gone. The partners who demand too much involvement without independence finally suffer themselves and make their partner suffer as well. Not everything is needed to be revealed instantly. Let things take their time, what's the use of rushing things.

3. Finally and most importantly why you can't seem to find a good partner (especially for girls to some extent boys as well ) - Suppose you want to buy a car and your budget is 30 lakhs, which is quite decent and comfortable for you. You visit different showrooms everyday - Tata, Mahindra, Hyundai, Audi, BMW, Mercedes, Porsche, GM even contact Ferrari, Konnigseng, Aston Martin etc but you don't like any models they have to offer. Finally the salesman asks, " What are your requirements?". You think for a while and answer:

"I want a car with an

Refined engine of Porsche

Shock absorbers of Ford

Chassis of BMW

Body of a Mercedes

Gearbox of an Audi

Reliability of a Maruti

Mileage of a Hyundai

Service like a Mahindra

Tail lights of a Konnigseng

Bumper of a Ferrari and

Tyres of an Aston Martin"

The salesman looks at you for 6 minutes straight and files for a resignation, leaves, never comes back

Having choices and requirements is good. But for the above description Car you will have to own 11 cars of respective company which someone with a 30 lakh budget cannot afford and it is not feasible too, then dismantle them and somehow try to fuse them into the Car of your requirement. Even that won't be possible because the grooves won't match, the car will never run.

If you would have just walked in and selected a Car for its utility, you won't have to walk in the rains. Sure your Car won't drift like a Porsche or run a drag like a Mustang but atleast it would be reliable, will save you money and won't have to take your car to pit stop every other day for change of tyres and servicing.

So focus on good things a person in front of you is offering you as a partner. No one person can give you everything nor you can give him or her everything like one Car cannot be used in every situation. Focus on positivity and the positivity grows. Focus on lackings and the lackings grows. We all have one life and visiting car showrooms everyday is no fun.

29M from Mumbai here. I'm a sub inside closed doors. I like to serve, worship and pleasure strong, confident & beautiful women. I used to serve my ex who I met in Goa during one of my trips. However, it was casual and we both broke up when she returned to her country.

Ever since then (more than a year), I've been seeking dominant women who love to be served. But I only end up finding findoms here in India. Basically a prostit*te who will let you worship her in exchange of money. I mean, isn't that messed up? I'm the one who should ideally get paid! Just because I'm a male, I should pay? Is feminism lost here?
For me the concept of Findom f*cks up the D/s dynamics because psychologically I know that I'd be dominating her time by paying her my money.

So I'm asking the women here if they'd like to be worshipped or served just for the pleasure of it? I'm single and seeking an open minded wealthy women. Open to relocate if she's the right one.
Non-Findom Dominant female, who wouldn't mind a sugar baby. Well I'm not a baby, but I'm broke. I love to travel, ride bikes, go on hikes and Im a full time travel content creator. So I need some 'sugar' to sponsor my upcoming trips. If you too love to travel, you could add on to my travel vlogs and we could explore the world together.

An ideal situation would be an FLR for me. But I'm also open for FWB and casual meets. DM me if you're a genuine lifestyle Domme and interested.

Hey everyone, I’m a guy trying to get a better perspective on things.

A lot of advice given to women in relationship or workplace subreddits is usually "just be direct" or "just tell him no." But the more I talk to my female friends, the more I realize that being direct in India often comes with a lot of heavy baggage. Whether it's fear of a guy reacting aggressively, being labeled "difficult" or dealing with family drama.

What is a situation where you wanted to be completely direct but had to choose the polite, diplomatic, or "roundabout" way just to protect yourself or keep the peace? I want to understand the nuances men usually miss.

Hey , I (25M) have been seeing her (24F) for 2 months now. We matched on a dating app. We are spending a lot of time with each other lately.

It’s just that whenever I am sitting close to her I can smell her and I have to be honest it’s not very pleasant.

I tried telling her this by informing I like to smell good and invest a good amount in doing so. I don’t know how else to address the issue without bringing her into it.

I can’t think of any polite way to tell her directly. I just don’t want her to feel bad , insecure and not comfortable in her own body.

I will appreciate your suggestions and your take on how should I handle things.

Hi I'm a female having a Humanities Background both on my undergrad and High school. I am preparing for upsc for 3 years now, couldn't qualify prelims. I see only few opportunities in terms of job perspectives in this stream. So to all the amazing women who did it eventhough humanities is generally Considered a dry subject area, what's your dream profession and how did you achieve it?

I (30F) joined a gym a few months ago and became friends with a group there. One guy (let’s call him P) gradually became someone I liked.

Over time, there were a lot of interactions that made me feel there might be something more. He would drop me home sometimes, joke with me, talk about going on a trip, ask for things casually (for example, jokingly asking me to buy him a shake when I was buying one for others), and we were generally comfortable around each other. His friends also repeatedly joked that I had a crush on him, related my Instagram stories to him, and teased us in front of everyone, even though I never openly admitted liking him.

At the same time, there were mixed signals. He once said he doesn’t usually message girls first. He never really initiated conversations outside the gym. If I didn’t ask him something, we could go without talking. I realized that most of our interactions happened because I was initiating them.

A few weeks ago, I started feeling emotionally exhausted because I was constantly overthinking every interaction. I decided to stop chasing the connection and started going to the gym at different times or taking a break from going at the same time.

During that break, other people from the group checked in and asked where I was. P didn’t message me once, even though he was active on Instagram and watching my stories. That hurt because I realized I was worried about hurting his feelings by becoming distant, while he didn’t seem worried enough to check in.

Recently I went back to the gym at the same timing. P and everyone else noticed that my energy had changed. P asked me if something had happened when a girl pointed this out to him because I seemed different. I just said I was okay because I didn’t want to dump my feelings on him when nothing had ever been defined between us.

Now I’m trying to protect my peace by not initiating conversations with him anymore. I’m still polite, I say hi and bye, but I don’t chase him or ask him for workouts like I used to and he also doesn’t guide me himself until I ask.

My questions are:

Does this sound like someone giving mixed signals, or was I simply reading too much into normal friendly behavior?

Did I do the right thing by stepping back instead of continuing to pursue him?

If you were in my position, would you continue treating him politely but stop initiating, or would you have an honest conversation with him?

I’m looking for objective opinions because I know I have feelings for him, so my perspective is probably biased.

I'm a 28-year-old guy from India and my engagement is next week.

This is an arranged marriage setup. The girl was previously married and is now getting remarried through an arranged marriage setup. That doesn't bother me in itself, but I mention it because I wonder whether past experiences could also explain why she seems reserved or guarded.

We met once in person with our families. During that meeting, I felt like I was carrying the conversation. I was asking questions and she was mostly answering them. I didn't really feel any spark or excitement from her side.

Since then, our WhatsApp conversations have mostly been practical and very short:

"Ha"

"Ji"

"Theek hai"

"Contrast" (when I asked about outfit colours)

"Nhi chahiye" (when I offered to arrange a room for her to get ready at the venue)

She almost never initiates conversations herself.

Because of this, I've been worried that maybe she's just going through with the marriage because of family expectations rather than because she genuinely wants it.

However, there are also things that point in the opposite direction:

I asked her directly if this marriage was happening with her consent and she said yes.

My sister asked her the same question separately and she again said yes.

Her family also says she is happy with the match.

Her mother says she is naturally quiet and doesn't talk much.

She was apparently very excited about her engagement lehenga, got the blouse stitched immediately, and according to her mother kept trying the lehenga on multiple times because she was so happy with it.

She participates in wedding planning discussions when asked (venue, outfits, menu, etc.), but her responses are usually brief.

She did participate in some light-hearted conversations too, but she generally remains quite reserved.

My concern is that once the engagement happens, backing out later becomes much harder emotionally and socially for both families.

People who have been through arranged marriages:

Is this just how some introverted or reserved people behave during arranged marriage setups?

Could being previously married make someone more cautious, guarded or less expressive in the beginning?

Did anyone here marry someone who was very quiet initially but opened up later?

Or are my concerns valid and should I treat the lack of initiative and enthusiasm as a warning sign?

I'd appreciate honest opinions, especially from people who have experienced arranged marriages from either side.

The median married women in India leaves home for 30 minutes per day.

On a typical day, 45% of married women don't leave home at all.

Like this is not some old data. It uses median so it means that more than 50% of women get even less time.

All my life I have seen my mom not getting appreciated for everything she does, it feels weird to see this happening.

My dad would get my grandma evrything she would need, but my mom would be standing there asking for nothing when she absolutely deserves the world.

It's really not the case with my mom, but every female around me who has married.

When I tell my parents i won't marry, they say you can't go against the rules evryone has to get married.

But if it always works against us, why do we get married?

So I am 28F and my divorce is getting finalised, my situation is complicated. I have a slight problem with my right elbow because of childhood fracture and learnt to use my left hand as my primary hand. I am also socially anxious and awkward person with a slow and mellow personality. My dates think there is something wrong with me health-wise. Or worse they think I am lying or hiding something from them. I am also pursuing a very demanding job and I don’t get to interact with people and prioritise improving my personality and self-care which is wrong on my end. I accept that.
Please any helpful advice will do.

I am 21F went into a relationship with a guy for 4.5 years and he was much older than me. In the beginning things were good but gradually the toxicity started coming out of him. As of now I don't remember any topic over which I had ever fought with him, I was a very calm person accepting everything he wanted. Everyday he wanted to know whom I have talked with throughout the day and what was the topics...he wanted every information about me and my family. He didn't wanted me to talk to any of my classmates for studies also and used to create issues out of it then he started asking me and always tried to force me for getting physical. In saying he was like ki you can do anything in life but when I used to do anything for my happiness the he used to create fights and do much. Since childhood I was a very emotional person and gradually i started getting stressed got migraine and things went more intense and toxic beyond limit every night he just asked me for it. He used to take money from me also and he blamed me if something went wrong in his life always. When he used to feel about about anything he blackmailed me for if he would take away his life I was so stupid unable to figure this out for 4.5 years and i loop was created and then when I was so depressed about to get hospitalized I broke up with him telling I am not happy and my health is concerning. Not so much people knew about this relationship and after breakup he continued disturbing me for 2 months and all the end I broke up into bipolar disorder. I told everything to my family and still he created mess after it also. I changed my number and everything and recently i have started using Instagram with anonymous account I saw he post so bad on his stories like i have cheated him and is not at all 1% sorry for making my health so worse he has not understanding of what has he done to me mentality emotionally. I was on my bed for an year sleeping with medicines for recovery. Still he blames me tries to do everything to contact me but I didn't reply. Even he messaged some of my male friends on Instagram then sending me messages that they very arrogant and rude out of no sense when even I don't have conversations with those people for months. He thinks that a girl and guy can't be friends and so much. This was so humiliating even my father is more broad minded than him he never has told my anything for I am a girl.

Was this my mistake?? My body has started paining after typing this.

This happened a few years ago. I've tried many things to get out of this. Maybe one or two people in my close circle care about me, but most people simply ignored what I went through.

I want to know how this situation looks from a stranger's perspective and what I should do to move on.

In 2016, I was 15 and my sister was 14.

Jio had just launched, smartphones were becoming common, and my dad bought a smartphone with a Jio SIM. My sister was using it at the time, and I tried to take the phone from her. I took it and went to another room. Suddenly, my mom came to me and asked, "She says you deliberately touched her."

I was completely shocked. I broke down, with tears in my eyes.

What had happened was that while taking the phone, my finger had accidentally touched my sister's chest. She went and told my mother. My father didn't say a single word. He just stood there watching.

Fast forward to 2018.

She wasn't doing well in her studies, so I told her it was okay and that we could even start a stationery business in the future if academics didn't work out.

One night, while praying, she said to me, "Please don't take me somewhere and sell me to prostitutes."

I was only in my first year of intermediate college and had very little exposure to the world. I stayed calm. Once again, neither of my parents said a word.

Fast forward to May 2023.

I was 21 and she was 20.

During an argument over something unrelated, she suddenly said, "Whenever I travel with you on a bike, I feel very uncomfortable. You deliberately apply the brakes so that my chest touches you."

I didn't know how to react.

I looked at my parents, but they didn't seem bothered. I immediately shouted at them, asking, "What is this?"

Their response was, "She's just a young girl. She didn't know what she was saying. Let it go. Why are you still holding on to it?"

That very night, I smoked my first cigarette. Later, I became addicted to alcohol as well.

Even today, my parents say, "She doesn't know any better. That's why she said it."

My mother says, "Why do you keep bringing this up?"

One day, I asked my sister why she felt that way. She replied, "Maybe someone molested me when I was a child. Maybe that's why I feel this way."

She later moved to my dad's place for her postgraduate studies. From a family friend's Instagram stories, I can see she's completely comfortable around men now. There doesn't seem to be any sign of the trauma she mentioned.

Meanwhile, my life has gone in the opposite direction.

I can't even shake hands with a woman without immediately worrying that she might think the same things about me. I've become extremely introverted. I smoke almost every hour. I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks whenever I see a brother and sister together in public.

She seems happy and has moved on with her life.

But I was left carrying accusations that my own sister made against me—that I had inappropriate intentions toward her—and my own parents never stood by me or defended me.

Now I can't even comfortably be around women. I don't know if I'll ever find a partner who truly understands me or whether I'll ever have a happy married life.

I don't know who else to talk to about this, so I'm posting it here.

Please let me know your honest opinions. Maybe they'll help me heal.

Posting it here because I really wanna know, other women's thoughts on this.

I met a beautiful girl in late 2024 at a networking event in Hyderabad, after my graduation. Later found out we stayed in the same PG. We started talking, just as friends. I was going through a bad breakup at that time (the relationship got extremely toxic and I broke up and blocked my ex). My ex sent me emails, called from different numbers, kind of abusive and all. This girl helped me go through it all. This girl also came out of a long term toxic relationship. At that time, I had decided and also casually told her that I would never date anyone to marry, I would genuinely never even marry and all that stuff (I still am that way). Even though I was upfront about my preferences, I managed to go out on dates. She sometimes even helped me go on dates with other girls as my wing girl. Our circle got bigger as her friend group and mine merged because of our friendship.

I seek peace. I would say "sorry, you are right" and walk away even when the other person has wrong views. But I love deep conversations, only when the other person can understand different perspectives and can express well. She's perfect in that aspect. She's deep, so deep for my heart to not melt lol. No discussion of ours turns into an argument even if we completely disagree on something. I respect such people. Though I started liking her, I didn't go through with that for a reason. But our dynamic had gradually shifted into platonic flirting. And.... we started dating. Nothing too serious, we've let each other know we like each other and just decided to see where it takes us.

She works at a big tech company and earns a lot. I used to just waste my money on useless courses and was basically aavaara. She encouraged me to build my portfolio and apply for jobs. She guided me to practicality when I was wandering in creative freedom seeking mindset. Even though now I work remotely at a startup, doing multiple things at once in that company, it's so fun. I'm thankful to her for that.

I moved back to my native city in January to take care of a dumb property dispute in my mom's side of the family. But I'm still here after it because I work remotely and got a bit comfortable at home lol. Five days ago, she told me she's moving to Canada to work for the company she's in. >!Surprisingly, it brought me relief, even though I like her. Even I was shocked by the way I felt. She's perfect lifelong partner material. Anyone would say I am fumbling.!<

She's coming to visit this weekend, to meet me once before she leaves for Canada. The city I am in doesn't have many places worth visiting. She just told me the city doesn't seem bad for a one-day visit. She's going to drive alone for around 300 kilometers just to meet me! She's someone who likes me for who I am. I got nothing written on me that says "stable" lol. Quite the opposite actually. She earns a lot and she even comes from money. Her family is well off, if not rich. Her family is quite liberal. I've visited them several times. >!She says she'll come to India in a few months just to visit me again. She hasn't even gone to Canada yet, and still planning to visit me again! I don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt her. I feel terrible.!<

>!Reason for my dilemma: I am 22 now and will turn 23 next month. She turned 30 four months ago. We were talking one day around the middle of last year, and I told her "You check all my boxes, I would've definitely dated you if I was older." She looked me deep in the eyes and asked "What's stopping you now?" That's how it started.!<

So I'll keep my intro short, im 20F and I'm studying medicine, i live in hostel rn but I'm planning to move out soon, my college doesn't have any gym and i get served weird food that has alot of carbs everyday and no I can't keep a kettle or induction it's strictly not allowed in my hostel and sneaking one in is just too much of a work, I get served sambhar and rice almost everyday with buttermilk.i also have undiagnosed PCOD (my cycles are irregular) Im currently 72kgs and i REALLY want to lose weight and genuinely work on myself, i barely have time to work out so I just walk everyday for an hour atleast (it doesn't tires me up much).

I want to lose weight with my weird diet and food that I get served everyday

Please give some genuine advises on how to do it with limited food items I get to eat everyday

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Today I saw the girl I had my first real crush on.Actually, I'd say she was my first love, even though it was completely one-sided.

I met her near the end of Class 7 in a weekend coaching class. I liked her from the very first day. She was beautiful, smart, confident—basically everything that 13-year-old me admired. I always felt she was way out of my league.

There was an older guy in the coaching, a year or two senior, and they eventually got together in class 8th only. Even then, I couldn't stop liking her.

After Class 8, I had to change school school because it was till class 8th only. I actually convinced my father to admit me to the same school she was in(she didn't change the school).

After 10 days in new school One of my friends somehow told her that I liked her. I already knew she would never feel the same way

I still remember the shock and kind of angry look on her face.

I made an excuse to my father that I didn't like the school and transferred to a government school instead.

That was the last time I saw her.

Fast forward today....12 years later.......

I had heard from mutual acquaintances that she got married, so none of that was news to me. But today I unexpectedly saw her in person.

She looked... familiar. Not in the sense that she looked like a kid anymore, obviously, but she still had that same presence that instantly took me back.

The strange part is, seeing her didn't hurt because she never chose me. We never even had that kind of relationship.

What hurt was seeing myself.

I'm 28–29, unemployed, never had a girlfriend, still living with my parents, and losing my hair.

The moment I noticed her, I just looked away and ran off.

I didn't want her to see me.

It wasn't embarrassment because of her—it was embarrassment about where I am in life.

For a second, I wondered if a part of me still loves her. Maybe I do.

Or maybe she has just become a symbol of a time when life felt full of possibilities.

I know she's married. I know there's nothing to be done, and I genuinely don't want to interfere with her life. That's not the point of this post.

The encounter just forced me to look at my own life. It made me realize that what I'm really grieving isn't losing her—it feels like I'm grieving the person I thought I'd become by this age.

I don't know if anyone else has experienced something like this, where meeting someone from your past suddenly makes you confront your present

.

If you've gone through something similar, I'd genuinely like to hear how you dealt with it.

TLDR: Saw my first one-sided love after 12 years. She's happily married now, and I wasn't hurt because I lost her—I was hurt because seeing her made me realize how disappointed I am with where my own life is. I walked away before she could see me, and the encounter made me want to get my life together.

I heard married women saying "i need to think twice before asking money to husband"......men should pay some monthly expense to wife other than house expense, this concept is very normal in countries like japan, singapore, east asian and southeast asian countries.....but in india women expected to be robots

I(23F) have lived in boarding school since I was 13 years old. 2 years ago I moved back home because the career my parents choose for me, I finally mustered up the courage to leave it. The first year was horrible. We didn't speak, especially with my father. Then around Feb last year I got an internship (WFH) but the pay was very less, I knew they would laugh at me so I didn't tell them. When they heard my dad laughed at me so hard but I had to tell him because I wanted a laptop but couldn't afford (my parents are rich). So I got another intership with better pay at a bigger company (WFH) and asked for the laptop again. This time they bought me one and they didn't believe me. So he would sit down beside me and check whether I was actually working or not. After 3 months of salary he finally believed.

A month and half ago I left that job thinking once I finish my college practicals I'll apply for somewhere bigger. It seemed fair. My parents had wormed upto me, my dad finally started talking to me after years. But as soon as I left my job it changed, they didn't take one single penny from me, my dad already has great income so it wasn't like they were dependent on me.

In the past month, many things have happened. They said I was insane, last time they called me insane when I wanted to choose my own career. My parents gossip between themselves that I wanted to go on a solo trip with my savings because I want to meet my boyfriend (I haven't dated anyone in the past 4 years), once they get my elder sibling married this year, they'll marry me off in the next 3 months, they have been talking about my marriage since last year, I think they have a boy in mind too. I have bigger dreams but they don't have faith.

Best solution for me is to leave home but the thing is I'm just in my 2nd year of college so it's hard for me to get a real serious job that'll pay enough to shift in another city. My laptop is at repair once I get back next week, I'll jump on searching another job, I can't afford to go after my passion now.

TLDR : I can't minimize it to a few sentences, if you don't wanna read all that it's fine. But I wanted to know if anything similar to what the title says happened to you? How did you deal with it?