I am fed up with my mental health and get s*cidal thoughts because of my adhd and gender dysphoria. It’s hampering my personal life and other relationships.
Please direct me to a relevant psychiatrist or therapist if you know one.
I came across the idea of sexual overperception bias and found it interesting. Is this actually true in real life?
It seems a bit weird to me and I have only recently realized this , but everytime I make a close friend , I immediately ponder about what to give them for their bday and even curate a menu for when they are gonna visit me at my place . I don't understand why I do this , but involuntarily , this is where my mind goes . I cannot comprehend the dynamics behind this thinking of mine . Can anyone here tell me if they think the same way ? I am not employed either , yet I want to do all this , which also doesn't make any sense as to why I would want to burn a hole in my pocket .
Like how do you decide if you have to show interest in this person or not.
Women from age 20-40 please answer
After surviving and leaving a narcissistic marriage and over all these years of not setting boundaries around people, allowing red flags and toxic behaviour from partners, family, friends, I am finally on my path of spiritual awakening. And I can feel it, I am more intuitive now, very self aware, wise and ALONE. Nobody can understand this feeling unless they go through it themselves.
I kinda miss bonding with people, I used to be extremely social and had a lot of friends. Now I can barely relate with the 2-3 friends that have been with me since the past 10-12 years. I do not enjoy going out for drinks, I do not like the crowd being loud, it feels negative and damaging for my mental health. My old friends have barely had any character development all these years.
I also feel more inclined towards people who are more into fitness, spirituality, embracing their culture, healthy habits. I enjoy deep talks about life, traumas, experiences, history. Surface level conversations give me the ick.
So basically I am scared that all this is making me lonely and I am not able to connect with my old friends and making new connections are becoming tougher unless they are on a similar path as me. It can get lonely sometimes but I rather be alone than being around a friend /partner that dulls my spark and has not changed (for good) all these years. I cannot people please anymore.
Anybody gets this feeling or is it just me?
I'm 31F and this is a matrimonial situation. I'm trying to understand whether I'm overthinking this or whether his behavior is a sign that he's not interested.
A little background:
My parents sent a matrimonial request to this guy 3 years back, but he ignored it. They sent another request in again he didn't respond.
This year, in few months back, my parents sent the request for the third time. I wasn't asked beforehand, and honestly I was annoyed because I wouldn't have sent it again myself after being ignored twice. However, he accepted the request almost immediately.
About a month later, he shared his phone number on the matrimonial app. I thought that meant he was open to getting to know me, so I messaged him on WhatsApp within a week.He took quite a while to reply to my first two messages, and after my last message, he hasn't replied for almost two weeks.Those were very introductory messages He has my number and knows I'm open to talking, but I haven't messaged again because I don't want to chase him.I also feel some pressure because my parents really want this to work.
I'd genuinely like an outside perspective: Am I reading too much into his silence? Would you consider this a sign of low interest, and what would you do in my situation?
I am kinda tired from staying single and my raging hormones arent on my side. I am on dating apps but not getting a single like/match. I have clearly mentioned “looking for something casual/short term” so I am not one of those guys who say they want a genuine, long lasting relationship and then try to sneak into the girls pants in the first date itself. I am clear in what I want. I want to know what women look for a man when they are seeking a short term/casual relationship? Like body, face or height
Same as title
Been dating a genuinely nice guy. However, in LDR. Poor conflict management, however, generally very good natured. Dont know what to do. Feeling helpless. Becomes a wall and vanishes mid conflict. Doesnt repair. But generally a gem. At a loss....
What are some non-sexual gestures or moves you love receiving from your partner?
Also, what are some non-sexual activities or routines you offer to your partner that you both genuinely enjoy, which might sometimes lead to intimacy but at least leave you feeling happy, loved, and satisfied?
Help a fellow sis out . I am totally out of ideas
I’m 24, turning 25 soon. My family recently brought me a marriage proposal. The guy is 29, and honestly, on paper he seems like a really good match good family, educated, settled, good social background, His family also liked me and wants to move forward.
The problem is that I genuinely don’t feel ready for marriage. I’ve recently come out of a 9-year relationship which was emotionally very difficult and toxic. My mother and masi knows about it, but they don’t really understand the concept of me needing time to recover from it. All my life i have lived with my family and now working remotely, and I feel like I haven’t really experienced my own life yet. I want to pursue higher education, become more independent, travel, experience things, and simply have some time where I’m not someone’s daughter/girlfriend/wife.
The guy wants to get married by 2027 because he’s planning to move abroad and doesn’t want to delay marriage much. I met him once and he seemed nice, but I also got the impression that he’s fairly traditional. His family also asked me the usual questions about cooking, sarees, etc., which made me wonder whether their expectations of a daughter-in-law would actually fit with who I am. I’m not very traditional and I don’t want a marriage where I’m expected to adjust to everything or follow conventional gender roles.
There’s also a major issue I haven’t told him about my 9 year relationship yet. I don’t want to lie to him, and I feel he should know before we get seriously involved. But my family is strongly against me telling him. They think he’ll reject me, tell his family, and because we live in a close-knit community, it will become gossip and damage my reputation in the society and said “a guy this good isn’t worth losing over your past.” I understand their concern, but I cant hide this from him. Also he didn’t have any gf in past and i want someone who have at least been in one serious relationship to better understand me as a person and my past. And honestly, even if he accepts everything about me, I still don’t know if I want to marry next year.
I told the guy that I want to study further and that I’m not a very traditional person. He seemed okay with it, but one conversation obviously isn’t enough to know someone’s actual mindset. I want to talk to him properly before any rituals and also tell him the truth but his family was skeptical of letting us talk before any rituals.
Everyone keeps telling me that I’m lucky to have found such a good proposal and that I might regret saying no because I may not find someone like him again. And I understand that fear. But another part of me is terrified that I’ll say yes because of pressure and then spend the entire marriage thinking, “I wasn’t ready. I gave up my chance to live my life.”
I also feel guilty and very scared because I’m generally someone who puts my family’s happiness before my own. Saying no would create a lot of conflict and hate and my parents also have to hear so much from my family members because of me and everyone will hate me.
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What are your thoughts on dating someone to marry who has gone through a divorce and is a v nice and sweet person. No kids or responsibilities are involved now. The marriage lasted like 2.5 years . Everything is settled now and it has been like 6 months to the divorce settlement.
And you are not divorced but had past.
For context: i am not dating someone as of now. Met someone on a dating app, who told me he is divorced but he seems like a nice person, still contemplating my decision.
I’m 25F. I’m extroverted mostly. I make friends easily, I look above average too.
I lived in a foreign country for almost 6-7 years and moved back to India 2 years back. Had a relationship abroad but we split because of differences, thought we had good chemistry.
Now I feel like most men are in the arranged marriage setup so they’d waste my time by just entertaining me until the family fixes something, which I’m not interested in wasting time and energy like that.
The men who show interest- I don’t like them, they need princess treatment, nobody is all the basic qualities I’d want like kind humble and all that.
And how to even trust arranged marriage setup, how can you just meet someone and in such a brief time marry them? Like people are getting married in less than 6 months of meeting.
And along the way I’ve started feeling, alone. My friends are occupied w their friends / relationships since I wasn’t in India for a long time.
I do push myself and focus on myself. But it’s just nagging me.
Women, if you were in my situation - give me advice, your opinions, your similar experiences. Anything that would help / make me feel better I guess.
If you see my previous posts, I’ve been through the worst in the last 3 years due to marriage / living with in laws, and now potential divorce.
I’ve been at my mums for a while now completely stripped of everything in life. Lost my confidence and am now a shell of a girl and struggle speaking to people whereas before I was always the life of the party, I’ve lost 70% of my hair due to stress so beauty confidence dropped when I used to be pretty, all my stuff is at his home and they won’t let me have it, so living with out and starting all over again. Lost 15kg and my body confidence too
I feel at rock bottom
After working on myself and rebuilding, perhaps a year or two, will I ever get my spark back? Will I smile again? I feel like I haven’t smiled or laughed in 6 months and every single day since then has been a living nightmare. Each day feels like a year to get through. I feel broken
I’m UK based and have a job
I’m posting this specifically to get an unbiased perspective from Indian women, especially women who have been through serious relationships/arranged marriages. I’m not looking for people to simply tell me “leave her” or “take her back.” I genuinely want to understand whether, from a woman’s perspective, this relationship is something that could realistically be repaired, or whether I would be making a mistake by giving it another chance.
I’ll try to present the timeline as objectively as possible.
How we met
We met around January through an arranged-marriage route.
We first met in person in the first week of February.
During the initial few weeks, I repeatedly told her that if she had any doubts about me, didn't like me, or didn't see a future with me, she could tell me and I would walk away amicably. She repeatedly told me that she liked me and wanted to continue.
Around the last week of February, we went on our first date. We started talking extensively, flirting, and discussing practically everything — married life, children, honeymoon, sex, finances, family, etc.
In the middle of March, our roka happened with both of our consent.
The first major problem
That night she told me that everything was happening too quickly. I agreed that perhaps it was.
But then she told me something much more serious: she said she had not been completely sure about me from the beginning and was considering calling off the marriage if our emotional bonding did not become stronger.
This shook me badly.
I liked her a lot, so I agreed.
Things started getting more complicated
During the first week of April, I was going on a motorcycle trip to the Himalayas. The day before I left, we met, kissed for the first time and cuddled. We didn't have sex.
The day after I left, her communication suddenly reduced significantly. Replies became very short and she removed her profile picture. I asked her what was wrong, but she said nothing was wrong.
The day before I returned, she went out drinking with some friends whom I didn't know about and came home drunk late at night without telling me beforehand.
Given that we were talking seriously about marriage, I was uncomfortable with it and confronted her. She said she wouldn't repeat it.
When I returned, I expected us to have a huge argument. Instead, when we met, we hugged and kissed and things became much more intimate between us.
Throughout the first three weeks of April, we continued meeting, going on dates and spending time together.
I told her that I couldn't wait indefinitely and that I needed an answer from her by around 15 May.
By the end of April, she finally told me that she was sure and wanted to proceed. She asked me to buy her ring and resume the marriage preparations.
I was extremely happy because I genuinely believed we had finally crossed that difficult phase.
We became physically and emotionally closer
During the first week of May, after discussing it and mutually agreeing, we became physically intimate for the first time.
We continued dating and talking about our future.
Around the last week of May, she asked me to accompany her because her family was supposed to go jewellery shopping for her wedding. The plan was eventually cancelled, and instead we spent the day together.
We stayed together until around 11 PM, talking, kissing, cuddling and discussing our future married life, children and even our future sex life.
She was affectionate with me and seemed completely invested in the relationship.
The families had decided that our registry marriage would take place in the first week of August, and we were supposed to begin the registration process around the second week of June.
The following day we planned to get tattoos together and go jewellery shopping. We spent another good day together.
Then came the day that completely changed everything.
The D-day
It was a Tuesday towards the end of May.
After work, we were on a video call. I could see that she was extremely worried and distressed.
I asked her what was wrong and told her she could tell me anything.
She said she had a secret and that if she told me, everything would fall apart and I would call off the marriage.
I told her that if there was something this serious, I deserved to know.
Then she started telling me things that completely shattered my understanding of our relationship.
She told me that she had not been emotionally available to me, including during the period when we had become physically intimate.
She told me that she still belonged emotionally to her ex and that she wished she were marrying him.
She said she would think about him even during intimacy with me.
She said she wanted to continue sharing the “little joys” of life with him.
She also said that signing marriage papers with me would mean that she would stop belonging to him.
She also made it clear that she didn't feel the same level of attachment toward me and said that she wouldn't be devastated if I eventually married someone else.
I was completely blindsided.
What made it especially difficult for me was that only days earlier she had been affectionate with me, talking about our future, marriage and our intimate life, and behaving as though she had finally chosen me.
For me, it wasn't simply “she has doubts.”
It felt like I had been building a marriage with someone who was simultaneously telling me that emotionally she was somewhere else.
What happened next
The next day, Wednesday, I took leave from work and asked her not to contact me because I needed time to process everything.
I contacted two of the people closest to her and explained what had happened because I was genuinely confused and wanted someone who knew her well to speak to her. In hindsight, I'm not sure whether I should have done that.
On Thursday, I gave her one final opportunity to take responsibility and try to repair the situation.
Instead, a significant part of the conversation became about why I had told those two people what she had said.
She continued to stand by what she had told me previously and even said that if we married, it would be a loveless marriage, that she wouldn't put in effort to save it if it started falling apart, and that she wouldn't put effort into making the marriage better.
At that point I felt that I had no choice.
I called her parents and called off the marriage.
What happened after the breakup
There was eventually a final meeting involving our families.
My mother basically told her that she could have forgiven her if she had genuinely acknowledged what she had done, spoken to the people she had hurt, taken responsibility and asked for forgiveness.
Instead, the situation became more argumentative and emotionally chaotic.
After the breakup, however, her behaviour changed dramatically.
She started apologizing intensely.
She told me that she loved me, that she wanted nobody else, that what she had said was an outburst and that she didn't understand how deeply those words would hurt me.
She cried, begged me to come back and sent videos/messages asking me to return.
There were actually multiple videos she recorded of herself crying and pleading with me to give her another chance. She was visibly emotional in those videos and repeatedly asked me not to end the relationship permanently.
She suggested couples therapy and repeatedly asked for another chance.
At various points she also said that she regretted what she had done and wanted to fix everything.
There were also repeated attempts to contact me after I blocked her, social-media posts that I felt were directed at me, and eventually suicide-related threats/statements. Because of that, I informed her closest friend and blocked her again. Her friend subsequently contacted me and told me she was in a very bad state.
So now I'm left with a very difficult question.
My question to Indian women
If you were in my position, would you give her another chance?
I'm not talking about immediately getting married again.
I'm asking whether you would even give the relationship another opportunity — perhaps dating again, with marriage completely off the table for the foreseeable future, couples counselling, strict boundaries and no family involvement.
Or would you consider the things she told me on that Tuesday to be fundamentally incompatible with a healthy marriage?
The biggest things I struggle with are:
- She explicitly said she wasn't emotionally available to me.
- She said she still belonged to her ex.
- She said she wished she were marrying him.
- She said she thought about him even during intimacy with me.
- She said she wouldn't put effort into saving or improving our marriage.
- Yet after I ended things, she completely reversed her position and started saying she loved me and wanted me back.
- She made multiple videos of herself crying and pleading with me to give her another chance.
I understand that people can say terrible things during an emotional breakdown and genuinely regret them later.
But at the same time, those words were the truth I was given at the time I had to make one of the biggest decisions of my life.
I don't know whether I should interpret her later behaviour as genuine realization and remorse, or whether I would simply be reopening a relationship that had already shown me what it could become.
Women of r/AskIndianWomen, especially those who have been in long-term relationships or marriages:
If you were me, would you give her one carefully controlled second chance — not marriage, just an opportunity to see whether she can genuinely rebuild trust — or would you permanently walk away?
And if you would give her another chance, what would she realistically need to do to prove that this isn't just guilt, fear of losing me, or regret after the breakup?
TL;DR: I met my ex-fiancée through an arranged-marriage setup, we got engaged/held a roka, dated for several months, became physically intimate, and were actively planning our marriage. Shortly before the wedding process was supposed to begin, she told me that she wasn't emotionally available to me, still belonged emotionally to her ex, wished she were marrying him, thought about him during intimacy, and wouldn't put effort into saving or improving a marriage with me. Based on that, I called off the marriage.
After the breakup, however, she completely reversed her position. She said she loves me, regrets what she said, wants nobody else, suggested couples counselling, and repeatedly begged me to give her another chance, including sending multiple videos of herself crying and pleading with me to come back. There were also later suicide-related statements/threats, after which I informed her closest friend and blocked her.
I'm not asking whether I should immediately marry her again. I'm asking whether it would be reasonable to give her one carefully controlled second chance to date, with marriage completely off the table for now, counselling and strict boundaries in place — or whether what she told me that Tuesday is something that should be considered fundamentally incompatible with a healthy marriage, regardless of how much she regrets it now.
If you were in my position, would you give her that one chance to prove that her remorse and feelings are genuine, or would you permanently walk away?
27F here. I’ve noticed a painful pattern in my life:
- A man comes into my life unexpectedly.
-There’s an intense, sudden connection/spark.
-He talks about marriage and makes me believe there could be a future.
-I emotionally open up and start believing in it.
-Then, suddenly, he pulls away or leaves.
-I’m left alone trying to understand what happened.
This has happened more than once and I genuinely don’t understand why I keep attracting this pattern.
Is it something I’m doing? Am I getting emotionally attached too quickly, or am I simply meeting people who aren’t actually ready for commitment?
Would really appreciate honest perspectives, especially from people who have experienced something similar.
Context myself (30 F) and this other single mom (29 F) are in the same mom group have always shared the same mutual friendship group, which means we’re constantly in the same spaces everyone has always compares us — our size, our attitude, our sass — . It’s created this tension where every little comment is passive aggressive . Over time it’s just built up into this passive-aggressive rivalry where we’re polite on the surface, but there’s always that underlying tension.
One time recently we were split into two teams at a party and we were all doing team challenges ranging from verbal, drinking all the way to physical and when it came to the physical challenge, everyone picked me and her to go against each other to see who the “champ” was in like a fun way 🥊💪🏽. It was hyped like a title fight and it got physical.
Me and her have not spoken since but I am not sure if i should reach out too her or not.
45 yr old single woman here ! I have a job and pays ok but I’m soooo much behind in the job market! I get half of what everyone else gets.my father is a Parkinson’s patient and I’m the only caregiver. I have a brother in the picture virtually but not really 🤷🏻♀️. I hired a full time attendant at home because I’m getting tired with office and house work and his incontinence /cleaning and everything . And now that attendant has her own demands. I make a one pot lunch daily and leave for office by 630/7am after packed lunch and meds for dad . She doesn’t like one pot meals. And is not eating. And as soon as I come home , she makes a face . Compains of headaches . Lack of food . What not. So I have to make two separate items. She’s Not even taking care of cleaning properly. She mops in dad’s room and floor is just wet and slippery . I asked her to mop with a dry cloth again and she just switched on the fan to max and came out. I went after a while and dad is shivering and covered himself with some towel and curled up. He could have got up and switched off The fan. Or she could have mopped properly. Today at 620am she started arguing for a lunch box because she doesn’t have a proper box if I’m coming home in the afternoon. I gave her something but it disturbed me so early morning. I really feel like crying now . I took a day off but I came to office to study. I paid for a course with live classes thinking I will listen. Now I’m in office on my leave day, didn’t listen to a thing in the class. It’s such a haphazard life … I’m planning to study somehow for a few hours. Go home, call the agency. Hopefully they will refund the money. And send her back first thing. Don’t know what next . These small things are just unending …. I wish my mom was alive but she left a few years ago. Had to get rid of an idiot husband. Surprisingly , he was also just like this attendant. 🤦🏻♀️ maybe it s a ME problem !