u/AdeptnessThese1663

I had to get an ultrasound and the radiologist , a woman , asked me to take my pants off for the procedure . I thought that the test was only for my feet , because that's where I have been having issues . But when she asked me to take my pants off , I did it , but I could feel an anxiety attack coming in . I was wearing a kurta so I tried to hide my thighs and pubic area as well as I could . But she told me to keep it aside , because the ultrasound was to be done from my abdomen till my ankles . As I was lying there on the bed , my heartbeat was through the roof and I could feel tears forming in my eyes . I tried to count backwards but it didn't help , I was just too aware yet frozen in that moment .

I have been SAed a few times , started when I was 12 , when my neighbor used to grope my chest and ass , then my 2 cousins who also groped me in the school van and then proceeded to tell others at school that I was a slut and let them do it , then when I confessed to a senior at school about my crush , he told his friends and some of my classmates that I was a whore , and the last one happened when I was 19 and a man in his late 40s or early 50s jerked himself off on me on a public bus , while I was on my way to college . In all of these moments , I froze , just that , did not say anything , did not fight it , none of that .

The last time was when my repressed memories from the rest of my childhood came back and I started having OCD like symptoms , got anxiety , depression and horrible PTSD . Since moving out from my hometown a couple of years ago , I thought I had gotten better , that it was over now . But each time that I visit back there , I get panic attacks and nightmares .

A couple of weeks ago , I woke up around 4 am , because I dreamt that I was being raped in a bus by many men . I opened my eyes , but I wasn't able to move myself for maybe 30 minutes or so , and after that I couldn't stop crying . I have an exam to prepare for and I am not able to do anything except procrastinate by scrolling endlessly because it keeps me distracted from remembering what happened . I have tried therapy , from multiple counsellors , spent a good amount at it , but it did not work out .

What were the symptoms that made you seek a doctor's diagnosis ? I am pretty sure it's what I am going through , but I am extremely worried about the dismissive attitude of gynecologists . For context , I have been having extreme mood swings ( uncontrollable crying for hours on end , migraine , sui*cudal thoughts , anxiety , impending doom , lethargy , fever , bloating , no energy to get anything done , etc. ), to the point that I am unable to get out of bed . Also last month , I was spotting , a week before my period was due . My cycle is 28 days long , which is completely normal , I have always had regular period , my ultrasound was also normal . So I don't understand why this is happening all of a sudden !?

We were childhood friends , since the age of 9 , we are both 23F right now . She kept on doing and saying hurtful things that have made me want to go no contact with her and I am pretty sure she doesn't even understand what she did wrong . Let me preface by saying that she is extremely gorgeous by the conventional standards , while I am not objectively ugly either , just that I am not as pretty as her . This was never a problem for me because I loved her as my sister , also because I have no siblings of my own , so she was kinda it . But was always mean in certain aspects , but I used to brush it off thinking we were just kids .

But when she moved out for college , she changed . She forgot my bday in 2023 and I had to remind her a few days later . Next year she didn't post a story for my bday - which might seem like such an insignificant thing - but she did that for everyone else and right at midnight too . When I asked her about it , she said that she wasn't home , that she didn't think it would matter much to me and then she finally posted one in which I was barely visible . When I went to visit her in the city , she said that she would come pick me up from the bus stand , but then showed up 2 hours later at 9pm ( this is a s**t country in terms of women's safety ) and then proceeded to tell me that I have become more darker in my skin tone and that I am spoilt for wanting her to pick me up ( I had planned on going to her place myself , when she insisted repeatedly that I wait for her ) - This was infront of her situationship .

She always posts everyone else on her stories , even the people she bi*ched about , but never me - her supposed only real friend in the world . We planned to meet for a festival in our hometown and when I told her that I don't have fancy clothes on me , because I had come back only for a week , she went out with her other pretty friend and then told me it was a good thing that I didn't come because that other friend created a drunken scene . We met again in June last year , when she drunkenly said that she used to feel confident next to me because I was not good looking but with the other friend , she used to feel insecure . She said that I am innocent and naive and even if I were to get into a relationship , I would end up being cheated on . That was the last time we met and I completely stopped calling her or texting her after that . She called me a few times after that and I was amicable , but during our last conversation I didn't talk nicely and I felt that it was the last time she was gonna call .

But her brother is getting married this year and I don't know what to do if she invites me , which she definitely will .

I am always there for my friends instantaneously , be it their family feuds , relationship issues , social drama , you name it . But when I text them about something that's been bothering me , they can't even text back within 24 hours ? How tf ? If there's any conversation going on call or via text , they are so quick to ignore what I have relayed and just continue with their yapping session . I am so freakin' frustrated with friendships in general , it's just I am destined to end up miserable in one way or another ...

I have controlled my food intake and walk briskly 10K steps daily , I can see a visible difference in my face and body and others point it out too ( although the fupa is still there ) , but I still weigh the same ! How is this possible ? I eat a small bowl of sugar free high protein oats for breakfast , besan+ragi chilla along with dal/vegetables and a cup of buttermilk , a small cup of chai in the evening and quinoa salad for dinner . Yet still I have not been able to shed the extra weight , but only managed to reduce the bloating a little , even though I don't consume any kind of junk food either . What am I doing wrong ? I used to weigh between 60-62 kgs , but I gained weight after covid and since then I haven't been able to shed it off . Could it be my body type ?

Like when your friend lies to you , telling you to dress "normal" , while they themselves dress up for a seemingly casual outing , even though they tell you that they are gonna be dressed in casuals too .

Edit : Y'all saying that she isn't my friend ... this person was my best friend of more than a decade at that time !

Edited again : She explicitly told me to dress in pajamas that we usually wear at home , as she would be wearing that too , but proceeded to show up in crop top and jeans that were obviously not casual . We were gonna eat Chinese at a stall in a midway neighbourhood .

We were childhood friends , since the age of 9 , we are both 23F right now . She kept on doing and saying hurtful things that have made me want to go no contact with her and I am pretty sure she doesn't even understand what she did wrong . Let me preface by saying that she is extremely gorgeous by the conventional standards , while I am not objectively ugly either , just that I am not as pretty as her . This was never a problem for me because I loved her as my sister , also because I have no siblings of my own , so she was kinda it . But was always mean in certain aspects , but I used to brush it off thinking we were just kids .

But when she moved out for college , she changed . She forgot my bday in 2023 and I had to remind her a few days later . Next year she didn't post a story for my bday - which might seem like such an insignificant thing - but she did that for everyone else and right at midnight too . When I asked her about it , she said that she wasn't home , that she didn't think it would matter much to me and then she finally posted one in which I was barely visible . When I went to visit her in the city , she said that she would come pick me up from the bus stand , but then showed up 2 hours later at 9pm ( this is a shit country in terms of women's safety ) and then proceeded to tell me that I have become more darker in my skin tone and that I am spoilt for wanting her to pick me up ( I had planned on going to her place myself , when she insisted repeatedly that I wait for her ) - This was infront of her situationship .

She always posts everyone else on her stories , even the people she bitched about , but never me - her supposed only real friend in the world . We planned to meet for a festival in our hometown and when I told her that I don't have fancy clothes on me , because I had come back only for a week , she went out with her other pretty friend and then told me it was a good thing that I didn't come because that other friend created a drunken scene . We met again in June last year , when she drunkenly said that she used to feel confident next to me because I was not good looking but with the other friend , she used to feel insecure . She said that I am innocent and naive and even if I were to get into a relationship , I would end up being cheated on . That was the last time we met and I completely stopped calling her or texting her after that . But her brother is getting married this year and I don't know what to do if she invites me .

AIO for not wanting to attend the wedding of my kind of ex best friend's brother ?

We were childhood friends , since the age of 9 , we are both 23F right now . She kept on doing and saying hurtful things that have made me want to go no contact with her and I am pretty sure she doesn't even understand what she did wrong . Let me preface by saying that she is extremely gorgeous by the conventional standards , while I am not objectively ugly either , just that I am not as pretty as her . This was never a problem for me because I loved her as my sister , also because I have no siblings of my own , so she was kinda it . But was always mean in certain aspects , but I used to brush it off thinking we were just kids .

But when she moved out for college , she changed . She forgot my bday in 2023 and I had to remind her a few days later . Next year she didn't post a story for my bday - which might seem like such an insignificant thing - but she did that for everyone else and right at midnight too . When I asked her about it , she said that she wasn't home , that she didn't think it would matter much to me and then she finally posted one in which I was barely visible . When I went to visit her in the city , she said that she would come pick me up from the bus stand , but then showed up 2 hours later at 9pm ( this is a shit country in terms of women's safety ) and then proceeded to tell me that I have become more darker in my skin tone and that I am spoilt for wanting her to pick me up ( I had planned on going to her place myself , when she insisted repeatedly that I wait for her ) - This was infront of her situationship .

She always posts everyone else on her stories , even the people she bitched about , but never me - her supposed only real friend in the world . We planned to meet for a festival in our hometown and when I told her that I don't have fancy clothes on me , because I had come back only for a week , she went out with her other pretty friend and then told me it was a good thing that I didn't come because that other friend created a drunken scene . We met again in June last year , when she drunkenly said that she used to feel confident next to me because I was not good looking but with the other friend , she used to feel insecure . She said that I am innocent and naive and even if I were to get into a relationship , I would end up being cheated on . That was the last time we met and I completely stopped calling her or texting her after that . But her brother is getting married this year and I don't know what to do if she invites me .