r/AIO

Warning: Potential trigger warning for domestic violence.

I (31M) have been dating my girlfriend (29F) for two years. She has twins who just turned three, and I have been helping raise them since they were 11 months old. Their biological father is barely involved. He doesn't financially help, shows up once every 3 or 4 months, drops off food, stays for 5 to 10 minutes, and leaves.

He was also physically and emotionally abusive to her in the past (he sent her to the hospital once) and even poured beer on one of the kids during a time when he was drunk when they were not even 1 year old, which makes it nearly impossible for me to be in the same place at the same time because I cannot respect anyone that does that. I've also told her that I don't want to hear about him and have asked her why does she want to talk to him after what he did to her, which she replies she wants the kids to eventually have a relationship with him.

Last week was her kids birthday. I kept asking my girlfriend what the plan was, and she kept saying she didn't know yet. The night before, she told me their father, her ex, was
going to come over at some point. I did not love the idea, but I was not going to make a scene. On the day of the birthday, I asked her if she needed me to bring a cake. That is when I found out they had already celebrated. I wasn’t thrilled much because I wanted to be a part of it but I
thought it was maybe my girlfriend and a family member or two had come over and
did it.

I got a text a couple hours later saying it was cool to come over (we don’t live together).  When
I got there about 15 minutes later, one of the kids was already asleep and another one was awake but it was getting close to him going to sleep.

When I was putting one together, my girlfriend told me that it was her, the ex/baby dad, and his mom sang happy birthday, blew out candles and ate cake. He stayed over for a bit and left. I felt gutted, especially as my girlfriend told me how much fun they had blowing out the candles.

I just sat there quietly, feeling like I had been punched in the chest. I have been the one showing up every day. I have been the one doing the work. I have been the one acting like a father but the real dad who barely participates got the moment that actually means something.

I left early and told her I had a long day tomorrow. She asked if I was okay, and I lied and said yes. I am not. It’s been four days and we have barely spoken. All I have in my mind is the thought about being put in the background and if another event like a birthday or God forbid a move up ceremony or graduation happens, I would be left out. I am seriously considering ending things because this situation made me believe she does not see me as a real partner or parent figure, or maybe she still has some feelings for him. Am I overreacting for thinking about ending this relationship?

TLDR: Last week, my girlfriend let her barely involved ex have the main birthday moment with her
twins. I was excluded from the cake, candles, and celebration even though I have been raising them for two years. We have barely spoken since and I am thinking of breaking up. AIO for thinking aboutending things?

 

Myself (28F) and my boyfriend (28M) let’s call him Brandon and I have been together for 2 years. Living together for over a year. He is absolutely the most amazing man I’ve ever met. He asked my mom if he could marry me (I’m not supposed to know) so I know he’s gonna propose soon. He has never given me any reason to think he’d cheat or anything like that. I get along with his family but it feels like his “sister” Ashley is too close to him. Like it feels like she always giving him extra attention when I’m around. I don’t like Ashley (29F).

Backstory:

Brandon and Ashley known each other since birth. Brandon’s mom is Ashley’s god mom. They lived in the same home as teen. Him and her have had sex in past… multiple times. There’s videos of him and her on her “private life” site from before we started dating, which disgusts me a bit tbh. They are very close whenever they are in the same room as each other, always a bunch of jokes and that I think are borderline.

She has all the features that guys like. Big ass, d cups, she’s pretty and blonde. I know I sound jealous but It’s more so the fact that they fucked before in the past and are very touchy and always hugging on each other.

I just feel like anytime she’s around when I’m around Brandon that they are always touching or hugging each other. Too playful. She has all these nicknames for him and is always calling him an asshole but always seems like she wants his attention. They don’t see each other too much and many of my only interactions around her have been holidays and family get togethers. Sometimes she will come over and play video games and sleep on the couch. It’s happened a few times.

Well, Last night was my breaking point. They went out with friends. I was invited but didn’t go (was making lesson plans). They came home drunk. It’s whatever… later, Brandon and I are on the couch, she comes over and sits on his lap. It’s only for a few seconds (though it felt longer) before she sprawled back on the couch into a position where her legs are feet are in his lap. He gives her a foot massage and they act like it’s normal. They were being very playful with each other like I wasn’t in the room. Which led to her praising Brandon about how great his foot massages are how lucky I am to have such an amazing boyfriend and that he should marry me. I say, “don’t let it go to his head he’s already got a big head already” he reply is “which one” then blushes and laughs. And he laughs too. I get that they were both wasted drunk… but I was mad about it and feel like it was inappropriate.

The next morning (this morning) Ashley leaves and I told my boyfriend what bothered me last night. I think he heard me, I told him I didn’t want Ashley to ever sleep over here again and asked that he also be less playful around her. He was very kind and soft about it. He said he was trying to understand and would do whatever keeps me happy. He assured me Ashley is just his “sister” and he understands and blamed himself for being drunk last night.

I don’t like her, I don’t like that she slept with him, I don’t like that his family loves her.

I feel like I’m in the right but also his kind and soft reaction and willingness to give me what I want makes me question. Am I just being jealous and insecure? Like that’s NOT his sister, that’s a girl he’s fucked before who has more history with him than me. I should be the closest woman in his life?

Am I overreacting for asking him to be less loving towards his “sister” and that she can never sleep over again?

Edit: I’m an only child so I’m sure what is acceptable brother and sister behavior. She has a boyfriend or multiple boyfriends, or at least multiple guys fing… it just the fact that they’ve been together before and I’ve seen videos. I just don’t like her. I’ve expressed that their closeness bothered me with Brandon until last night happen. She makes me feel insecure.

In the european heatwave with no AC we are having a tough time sleeping. I (30F)tolerate the heat a little better but since he (30M) gained some weight he doesn't do as well with it. During the night we like to sleep with the window open and no clothes of course because otherwise it would be impossible to bare... now. We also have curtains, shutters, the thick ones that roll down, which still have gaps in them so it can let air through. They ususally stay rolled down, because we live in a complex where four 8 story builsings share a garden, so basically you can see your neighbours - and they can see us too. Now, for my husband the shutters don't let enough airflow so in the middle of the night he randomly decides to pull them up, becase "he doesnt care and no ones watching anyway". I told him multiple times that I dont feel comfortable sleeping like this, because there is enough light for the neughbours to see us sleeping naked and they are also close enough. He still doesnt care and keeps on doing it. Tonight he did it again and I just stormed out not saying a word, and he came to ask me why do I "have to do all of this". I dont care he doesnt mind being so exposed but I repeatedly told him I hate it and he makes me feel crazy for it. For a woman it's much more different and honestly I never thought he would be the type of man who would do such a thing. Couple of weeks ago I was injured with my neck. Bras were super uncomfortable so I was just sitting on our couch in my panties and in broad daylight he did the same thing because he needed some air... my movement was limited so I had a hard time covering up but I did, no one saw me but he still called me crazy for taking it too seriously. This is a little bit too free spirited for me. How do I get my point across? I feel like this is a genuine comprehension issue, its nothing sexual or creepy. He constantly tells me Im overreacting everything even when I simply want to share how I feel. I can never just have a 'reaction' only an 'overreaction'. What do I do to make him listen?

So my dearest cat whose i had for 15 years passed away because of cancer. I couldnt be home at the exact moment it happend because i was taking extremally important exam on my uni (i sat with my cat for 3 hours before leaving cause i felt it might be her last day)

And when i came back home my mom told me crying that my cat passed away. I absolutely broke in tears and cried for hours, then i asked her where is the body cause i need to give her a dignified burial. And then my mom told me she left her at animal crematorium to be burned down with other animals.

It fucking destroyed me. How could she show such absolute disrespect for our cat, who was a full member of the family, as well as for me and my feelings? She buried her dog years ago and now when i need to bury my cat suddenly im the problem and she didnt even cared what i think about it, cause of course my needs or feelings never matter

But its not the end. Im a very sentimental person and i needed to keep something that belonged to my cat. I always had her small bed in my room and i told my mom that it has to stay where it always was cause its important to me.

But when i left home first time after week of crying and sleeping she literally threw away all the things that belonged to my cat even from my room. I have fucking nothing left and she called it a trash.

I want to never talk to her again. AIO?

There's way too much context on this and is so specific I don't really want to say it all but lomg story short, I [20F] saw my [21M] long distance partner for the first time on Saturday and we ended up having sex. It was both of our first times.

We had talked about it beforehand, but then he said he might want to save himself for marriage. He'd then be sexual with me over text again and say he wants sex. Either way, I ended up buying condoms and he said I shouldn't bring them because we'd end up having sex but I bought them either way just to be sure. We're both super sexual with each other and I didn't really want to risk it.

I fucked up by buying them when he said I shouldn't and I really regret it. We made out and ended up having sex (he asked if I was sure and I asked him too), I put the condom wrong 3 times so sex didn't end up super great and I had to leave shortly after and we both felt really bad.

I kept apologizing because I felt bad about him wanting to wait til marriage and then him wanting sex with me there, plus the moment maybe wasn't as magical as it would've been if we waited. I've been apologizing since then and he told me he felt frustrated I did buy condoms because he knew we'd end up being intimate.

He just made some jokes about me "forcing him" to have sex, he's just being silly and he says he's fine now but those jokes aren't funny to me. I was SA'd as a kid and these jokes make me feel like a rapist. I wish he would've told me he was uncomfortable in the moment or said he didn't want sex instead of agreeing and doing it. It's also confusing because he keeps talking about how good it felt and how we need to do it again.

Am I overreacting for being upset at these jokes? It was also my first time, and now I just feel like shit. But I feel really guilty about buying the condoms when I just wanted to make sure nothing unprotected happened.

TLDR: husband and I separated for over a year, reconciled, and now I am seeing warning signs that maybe it was a mistake to get back together. I constantly have a pit in my stomach about it. Buckle up it's a rollercoaster. TW: miscarriage

I (late 30s F) and my husband (mid 40s M) have been married 15 years. I can't get into the whole history of things because that would make this post waaaaay too long. Basically suffice to say there were warning signs from the begining that our relationship might not work out long term. We broke off our engagement twice even though we were only dating/engaged for a year before getting married. But I was young and in love blah blah blah. You know how it goes.

Along the way there were arguments, some pretty serious. We have been to therapy many times together. It never seems to help. One of the main arguments was his porn addiction. I'm not going to debate whether porn addiction is real or not, I know everyone has different opinions, but it was bad enough it caused major issues on a frequent basis for years. Mostly it was the deceptive behavior and trust issues that went with it. There were also intimacy issues that were a result of that.

Eventually he crossed enough boundaries that I had enough and decided that things were never going to change. I got to the point where I wouldn't have been able to live with myself after being disrespected, manipulated and gaslit if I didn't leave so I did. I filed for divorce in the state we were living in and moved to the state where my parents live. They had had some recent health scares and were happy to have me stay with them for a while to help out.

We were separated for about a year. That was the hardest year of my life on so many levels. I couldn't find full time work that paid enough for me to live on my own so I had to stay at my parent's house even though I had absolutely no intention of staying longer than a couple months (it's a HCOL area). My mother developed some cognitive issues and became emotionally abusive. Of course I was lonely. I had no friends around and didn't date since I had no money and felt worthless about myself. Not to be dramatic but it literally felt like every single thing I did just completely fell apart and blew up in my face.

Eventually my husband moved to that area again (his family lives in a nearby town). We had always agreed that we would remain friends no matter what so we tried hanging out a few times. It was hard at first but got easier. At first I felt nothing (romantic) for him just friendship. I was pleased that we could still be friends. When things in my life became really difficult it felt good to have someone "on my side".

I knew he still loved me and eventually I realized I still had romantic feelings for him too. I told him how I felt and we took things really slow while we were trying to figure out if this was something we wanted to try again. We had many discussions about what we had done to work on ourselves and what would be different. During this time I checked on our divorce paperwork and saw it hadn't gone through on a technicality. That came as a shock to both of us and decided it was a sign we should really try again.

We still took things very slow. We continued to live separately but would spend the night together occasionally. We dated each other again. It was nice. My parents were so happy they cried tears of joy. His family was extremely wary of me and I had to eat crow and humble myself to kind of sort of be welcomed back. Even random people at our church (we have a very close church community there) expressed how happy they were for us. It was a lot of pressure, but we made it work.

During this time we unexpectedly got pregnant. We were both incredibly excited since we had struggled with infertility for over a decade. Unfortunately we lost the baby at 11 weeks. And on top of that I had to have surgery since my body wasn't naturally rejecting the dead tissue. That was probably the hardest thing we had to deal with. He was there supporting me the way I needed. Even moreso than my flesh and blood relatives. It meant a lot.

A few months after that we decided to get a fresh start. We finally had enough money to get our own place (I mean not really but we did it anyway). He had been struggling with getting enough work as well but he finally got a job that combined with my job paid just enough.

We have been living together again for about four months. It has been a real eye opener. I don't want to say he is a bad guy or anything like that. It's just that the longer we live together the more I'm realizing how much we have both changed. I knew there would be adjustments, but it's like we now disagree about almost everything. Including some really big things.

Example 1: He has adopted some pretty conservative views (not maga but way more conservative than he used to be). He used to be part of the Green Party and now he's a republican. Meanwhile I am more liberal than I used to be.

Ex 2: He was always religious, but now wants to double down on his religious commitment at church. He also wants me to do the same. Meanwhile I have become agnostic and want to de-center religion in my life. I would never tell him he can't worship or attend church the way he wants.

He, on the other hand, seems very judgy about my new spiritual attitude. Even when I suggest we go to a more liberal church in the area he shuts it down. Basically I can go to church with him (to his regular church), but he wouldn't attend a different one with me. This is new for him since he used to brag about having friends from all different religious backgrounds and how all religions are closer than they are different, etc.

Ex 3: I am queer. He knows I identify as bisexual and that has never been an issue. Now it is. I don't bring it up a lot but I don't want to feel like I am being judged for my sexuality either. It seems like we can talk about it at home with him in a jokey way, but he is opposed to me showing so outwardly. He doesn't want me to post about it on social media or make queer friends in the community here. He says he's okay with it but then becomes extremely insecure. He also shames me for past relationships I had before we met.

Ex 4: Sex. This is a big problem for us. Unlike the other examples we have always differed about sex. I have always been sex positive and open to trying new things and being adventurous. Any time I want to try something he immediately closes off. I'm not even talking about some wild kink, by "something new" I mean a new sex position (like doggy style). We even differ in frequency. I could probably have sex every day or every other day, but he is really only interested in mutual masturbation maybe once a week or less.

My husband is just... not open minded about sex. Just in this last month he has called himself "sexually repressed" and a "prude". I would never call him that, but that's how he sees himself.

Ex 5: We don't enjoy the same things. We rarely agree on music, hobbies, where to eat, or how to spend money.

I want to make it clear that we had talked about all of these things while we were reconciling. We had very clear, intentional conversations. I am now wondering if all of it was to try to convince me we agreed on these things. My husband has always had a problem with conflict avoidance and people pleasing. Or maybe I misunderstood somehow? I don't know how though. The good news is he is sober from porn now. So at least those issues aren't (currently) causing any problems.

Anyway all of this is to say that while I really do love him sometimes I just look at him and wonder how we can make all of this work. I have this pit in my stomach that won't go away. Just this awful feeling that it really isn't going to work out after all. It sounds terrible, but I actually enjoy when he isn't around. I feel like I can be myself and not be judged. And it's also a way to avoid all the micro arguments we have every day.

So AIO?

I am a senior in high school and have had issues with a friend group of four girls. I have nicknamed their group the "Sour Patch Kids" because no matter what I do, they're sour about it.

This all started about two months into Junior year when they had sat in the booth I usually sat in during lunch. I was a little uncomfortable, but I sat somewhere else for a couple of days. They didn't know it had been taken, and I thought they would eventually move. After three or so days, I went up to them and politely said that I had been sitting there and was wondering if they could sit somewhere else the next day. Their responses were along the lines of a snarky "we don't have assigned seats at lunch", with a side of eye rolls and scoffs. Since then, I have tried to get to lunch first to get that table back. I was never mean, not ever talking to them after that interaction; I just wanted my table back. To them, however, I became their next victim. Over the year, they tried to do things to upset me: like taking crap about me conveniently loud enough for me to hear, and taking my seat in every class every second they could. I didn't react, just ignored it. I think that made them more mad.

By the end of the year, they were so desperate that they made rumors about me hacking one of their school computers and sending emails from it...? I didn't get the full story,ry but the principal had called me to her office. They were trying to get me expelled. She searched my computer and obviously found nothing; mind you, I barely knew the Sour Patch Kids' first names, let alone last names and passwords. I have no idea why they thought it would work.

Senior year just started back up, and everything was fine until today. I think they got bored of not bullying anyone,e so they took my lunch seat (the same one from last year), and I was told by a friend that they were looking at me a lot during lunch.

I'm trying not to give them reactions from me, knowing it'll annoy them if I'm nice to them, but it's getting harder. These four girls are trying to be nurses. I don't want to hurt them, but I want to show everyone how awful they are. I'm terrified for everyone they'll take care of as a nurse because I know they'll be bullies there too.

What can I do? I just want people to be careful around. (They bully many others, not just me. Teachers think they're so sweet and don't believe anyone about being bullied by them).

Now, people have me wondering if I'm overreacting.

Edit: I posted this on the main AITA sub but it was deleted, if you commented and would like to paste the same comment here, I would love to reply.

ok so backstory, my parents watch my daughter like once a week so me and my husband can get a break for a few hours. usually it’s fine, my mom is great with her, my dad is more hands off but whatever, he’s there.

last tuesday we picked her up and she seemed off, not herself, kind of fussy and just not settling the way she normally does. my dad just said “oh she was just tired tonight, nothing happened” and honestly i didn’t think much of it, kids have off days.

next day i was going through our doorbell app for something totally unrelated (a package that never showed up lol) and i remembered we still have an old indoor camera synced to the same app, we got it years ago for our dog who’s not around anymore and i genuinely forgot it was still running. anyway i scrolled back out of curiosity and about 40 min before we got there my dad dips his finger in his beer and lets her suck it off, TWICE, while my mom was in the kitchen and didn’t see any of it

i called him the next morning and straight up asked “did anything happen with alcohol last night” and he said no, absolutely not, nothing like that. so i told him i saw it on camera. he got weirdly defensive and said it was “barely anything” and that people have done stuff like that for generations and i’m blowing it out of proportion

honestly the lying bothers me way more than the beer thing itself?? like if he’d just told me the truth i probably would’ve been annoyed but moved on. now i don’t know what else i don’t know about

told my parents no more solo babysitting for now, at least not until i can trust what actually happens when i’m not there. my mom feels bad and gets it. my dad is telling my aunts and stuff that i’m overreacting and ruining his relationship with his granddaughter over “one dumb thing”

so. AIO here

Vulnerable post - my boyfriend (m38) and I (f32) have been together for 12 years. Long story short, he consumes a lot of porn. I've told him how this makes me feel, especially because of the lack of intimacy our relationship receives. I have issues with the content - the girls are barely 18 looking. I have a 13yo daughter. It grosses me out. How do I know about it? I look at his phone - and yes, I know that isn't right.

F 20 My M 21 “friend” comments on my face almost every time we snapchat. For starters we have never met but we’ve had each other on socials for a few months now and we talk here and there. He will always be like “oo your acne is clearing up!” or “oo i see you’re breaking out.”
Literally last night we were chatting and I sent him a selfie as a reaction to what he said and he saved it in chat and said “I can almost see your boogers. Is that a pimple under your nose too?” LIKE WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? (and no it was my nose ring not boogers LOL)
So I said “you know I don’t really like when you constant point out my acne/stuff on my face.” He said something but deleted it and then he said “My bad g.”

Tonight he randomly texts me and asks if he can tell me something I said yes. He says the following:

“I just feel like everytime we speak or get closer, you always bring up something that bother you. And I don’t really appreciate you always trying to change me, even though I have done it every single time for you. The comment I made on ur face wasn’t even an attempt to bring up the pimple, it was me saying like “ damn I know that shit hurts because I’ve had it happen to me” I think ur pretty. But ion know it’s like every single time we speak you alwyas have a problem with the way I am.

The “changing” he has done for me as he says, is me telling him to please not flirt with me or anything like that. He used to a bit when we first started texting but I’ve made it VERY clear I just want to be friends. He would get upset if I asked him to not flirt or remind him we were friends. Like genuinely not talk to me for a few days.
I don’t understand how me asking him to not make comments about my face is me trying to “change” him?? This was my response to him:

“um i wasn’t trying to “change” you? i am uncomfortable with comments about my face and i know you know you’ve mentioned my acne more than that one time. i’m sorry i wasn’t trying to be a bitch but it just upsets me and i was trying to tell you🥲”

He left me on read. I replied again after about 10 mins and said “I’m sorry but i don’t see how im trying to change you”

Was I too rude? I feel like I was valid but why is he so upset with me

I went to Chicago to attend an event and stayed in a small hotel in Chinatown by myself. When I first check in I am the only person around besides the one employee. He is making conversation with me and when I buy a drink from the minibar he gives it to me for free. I didn’t think much of that first interaction it was normal enough. The second time I see him is because I went to ask where something was. He tells me “and may I say you are looking very good” and does this douchey nod. I just say thanks and go back to my room. The rest of the night while I was in my room I felt a little creeped out.
The flirting itself wasn’t as much of a problem as it was the environment plus the flirting. I’m traveling alone, the hotel is smaller, and while I feel I can walk around at least the touristy parts of Chinatown by myself, this hotel was a bit further away and it’s not like Chinatown is #1 in safety. Maybe he was just hitting on me but it during the night actually made me mad thinking of how he knows that could come off as scary to a woman when what seems like the only employee working is interested in you.
When I mentioned this in front of some friends (both men and women) I got some accusations of being dramatic. They did admit it would be awkward, but they also said I am very paranoid from watching true crime and was overreacting to getting a free soda and a compliment. AIO?

I 30M have a place, my gf 33F and her two kids also live with me. Her kids recently went to see their father on a trip for two weeks. The kids father is getting married again, has his 3rd baby mama and 4th kid on the way. Since the kids have been back my gf has been so intrigued and nosy about his life and things about him and his family, she seemingly seems obsessed to know what he’s up to or what his life is like. At the same time she keeps sitting here and telling me she hates him and all that.

It seems like for the last two weeks since the kids have been back i cannot stop hearing about this guy and his family. I expected there would be convos about him every now and then as we dated since he is the kids father. But it has honestly been annoying and a lot lately. 

We went to dinner with the kids back the other day and somehow dinner became about him and his family and their marriage before and his new wife and how he’s treating her. Today, she’s been on the phone with his second baby mama both just gossiping about him and his life etc, she’s been at this for about two hours now. Im starting to get annoyed cause why is so much time being spent on the guy she claims to hate and what he’s been up to.

Like I want tot ell her I don’t care to hear about it, and why is she so worried about what he’s up too or whatever its becoming a turn off but maybe I am overreacting. 

Its truly starting to make me wonder why i am here taking care of this women if she feels like she needs to worry or be so nosy about him, 2 hours on the phone with his other baby mama gossiping about him and its just annoying.

# AIO? My ex-GF destroyed my car

I honestly don't know if I'm overreacting or if this is as insane as it feels.

My ex and I broke up a few weeks ago. It wasn't a great breakup, but I thought we had both moved on. We hadn't been talking much, and I was trying to keep my distance.

Yesterday, I walked outside to find my car completely vandalized.

The windshield was cracked, both sides were deeply scratched, and someone had keyed nearly every panel. To top it off, there was spray paint across the doors with a message that was obviously meant for me.

A neighbor told me they saw my ex near the car the night before. I don't have video proof yet, but the timing is hard to ignore.

I filed a police report and contacted my insurance, but some friends are telling me I'm making too big of a deal out of it and should just let it go because "it's only a car."

But this feels way bigger than property damage to me. It feels intimidating, and now I'm genuinely worried about what she might do next.

AIO for taking this seriously and involving the police?

My fiancé (31M) and I (29F) have been together for 5 years. Recently, he told me that my jawline looks worse than when we first met. I told him that comments like that hurt me and make me feel less attractive. However, a week later, he pointed out that the corners of my mouth were sagging lower.

He says he’s a problem solver and wasn’t trying to criticize me. He told me that my jawline could be improved with things like mewing and that sagging around the mouth can be prevented by being intentional.

He also always tells me that he’ll love me no matter how I look, now or in the future after making these comments. I understand that he may genuinely be trying to help, but I don’t want my partner looking at my face and pointing out things that need to be fixed, especially things that I can’t change overnight.

He initially said my reaction was because of low self-esteem and was upset because of how I reacted. But he eventually apologized, told me I’m beautiful, and suggested couples therapy because we have different communication styles. Since then, he’s been making an effort to tell me I’m beautiful and reassure me. I appreciate it, but he normally doesn’t say it very often, so part of me wonders if he’s only saying it now because he knows he hurt me.

The hardest part is that I never thought I was ugly before I met him. My previous partners generally made me feel attractive and sexy. Now I’m suddenly conscious of things I never used to worry about.
I don’t feel sexy around him anymore. I don’t want to be naked in front of him, and I currently don’t feel comfortable being intimate because I’m worried he’s looking at my face and noticing how I’ve “declined.”

Am I being overly sensitive? Can couples therapy help with something like this, or is this a serious red flag? And how would you rebuild your confidence and intimacy after something like this?

My bf (22) and I (22) live together with his dad and one of his older sisters(27). My bf and I always try and assist when we’re able to. Whether that’s cleaning out the fridge(whatever he lets us throw even moldy/old food is up for debate), taking out the trash, cutting yards, washing dishes, making dinner for everyone, etc. Nothing we complain about and we DON’T ask for anything (money, items, food, and more). I found that his dad holds us accountable for his daughters’ responsibilities that she refuses to do. For the longest she’s graduated college and hasn’t worked in so long, and doesn’t know how to do anything. Ontop of that is disgustingly unclean and neglectful to her dog; she got the dog with her ex, so she refuses to give him away to a better loving home. She’s always asking the dad for money, or he gets her whatever she wants even if it breaks his pockets, if not she cries to get her way. I believe it stresses him out, but he can’t be direct with her without being manipulated or guilted. Somehow, it becomes an issue for my bf and I.

We try our best to help out and not be a bother but her lack of contribution makes things stressful. His dad’s demeanor feels like resentment towards his daughter but directed at us. He’ll start to make accusations/claims that “no one” helps him, no one does anything, and that he barely has money. He’ll send passive aggressive paragraphs to my bf and I about doing more which involves stuff we currently contribute to and the stuff his daughter refuses to. Such as cleaning up after her dog when he tears up a mess or does his business on the floor, remembering to feed and take him outside, cleaning the carpet because it smells like ammonia, and so much more. Even things not regarding her dog and just borderline cleaning up after her like a toddler. I do feel heartbroken for the dog. He just sits inside all day bored while she leaves/comes back to hangout/party/go on dates and doesn’t bother to let him use the bathroom. We’re not evil so my bf and I take him outside and play with him.

It’s bothersome that the off chance we can’t help his dad, he instantly becomes angry. Our help isn’t acknowledged or appreciated but always expected especially when his daughter is lazy. It adds enormous stress to always receive the backlash and do extra.

I don’t think I’m wrong to say I’d rather not help someone who expects other people to take on their responsibilities and help someone who can’t direct their frustration at the right people. There’s so much more to it. We’re exhausted and saving up to leave. Is it even worth trying to fight against it?

I know this isn’t a really big deal but it’s just aggravating me. My fiance and I got engaged almost 2 years ago, life got in the way and we finally started wedding planning last year. Our wedding is sept 4 2027 which is a special day to us because it’s the same date he proposed. We told his family and everyone is excited. 2 months ago my future BIL announced that he’s getting married to his girlfriend of a 8 months. They had not landed on a date and were just in the planning phase. Once my MIL found out she started rushing them and now they’ve also decided to get married sept 4 2026. I know this is not a big deal but I can’t help that it bothers me so much. MIL has been rushing my fiance and I to flout get the wedding over and done with but in my culture weddings are a really really big deal and it involves a lot and can take multiple days tbh. I just feel like MIL did it on purpose or maybe I’m looking too much into it. Fiance is also upset at the date they chose because wth? So Reddit, AIO?

There is a lot of history, and I am trying to keep it as vague as possible to protect everyone involved.

I, (stepdad) share two kids with my wife and their bio dad.
Prior to and during their divorce, the ex was violent and disruptive, resulting in two police cases against him. My wife, being a child of divorce herself, and honestly too kind, was very lenient in the divorce proceedings. After legal separation, he moved to a different state for a year and rarely contacted his children.

He would, however call my wife and yell at her, and call drunkenly at random hours.

During this time, I came into the picture. Then, conveniently, he came back. We were nice, and worked with his schedule and let him have the kids when he was able. There were weeks during the summer that he didn’t bathe the kids, had them sleep on the ground (refused to get them a bed, toothbrushes, clothes, toys, and sometimes food to keep there)

He eventually moved in with a girlfriend two hours away from us. Once she came around, the care for our kids got better.

He almost k1lled our kid by not taking him to the doctor when they couldn’t breathe all night. We drove to where they were and took the kid to the ER. They They had dangerously low O2 levels. (They have a chronic lung condition that causes them to not be able to breathe) I shudder to think of what might have happened if we hadn’t intervened.

Recently, while our kids were with their bio dad, he got angry and hurt one of our kids. He did not take the kid to the doctor, which needed to be done. We drove two hours to get the kids to take care of them.

We have had the kids since and are pursuing protective orders. The bio dad has a CPS case open.

For numerous reasons, I don’t think the kids are safe with him. We worry he won’t call us anymore if something happens while they are with him. I worry how he will handle the kids when they are bigger and harder to manage. I worry that these are major warning signs, and something very very bad will happen.

He and his girlfriend have been harassing extended family, and us directly for weeks. We are building a legal case and so is he.

I dunno, I am willing to go for the jugular and try to get complete custody. I would love for him to never see them again, and never speak to us again. I (personally) want him totally out of the picture, I am tired of him making my wife cry. I am worried he may try to take the kids out of school without our knowledge or try to take them in another way.
I absolutely hate that he knows what cars we drive, where we live and where we work.

Is that too harsh? Am I overreacting and letting my anxiety and loathing get in the way of my perception of this? Is this guy an actual BIG issue as I perceive him, or am I just being overprotective?

I obviously will defer to whatever my wife wants, as it is ultimately her choice. But I still have feelings and opinions about it.

I’m 19f and I work a very labour intensive full time job, where you are practically never off your feet. At times I’m hiking 4 hours with a chainsaw, or I’m walking between buildings carrying supplies. It’s been my summer job for four years now, and I’m lucky enough to have been promoted to a supervisor position.

Over the past four years I have only taken ONE sick day. I would often come in to work sick to avoid missing anything and, for the most part, avoid looking like a pussy.

However, over the course of this summer I have taken three in total. The first I had woken up and I was puking profusely (not quite sure what it was to this day), second same deal, and finally: today.

Today I’m not sure why I feel unwell, it feels kind of like my legs just don’t work. I’ve had a similar feeling before when I’d lift too much at the gym, but I’m usually able to tough that out. Today I just simply can’t move? If that makes sense? Obviously I’m not paralyzed but if I try to get up I just feel lightheaded and like I’m going to fall.

I got myself out of a day of cleaning, yes, but am I making myself look bad? I’ve been freaking out about this as my mother is being rather condescending about it. My boss takes a crap ton of sick days without telling a soul, or me for that matter, who kind of needs to know that info lol.

Part of me believes “okay, ___ took 3 sick days every other week, and ___ takes one once a week. What’s wrong with me taking a day?” But that other side of me, the “overreacting” part, is worried I am at risk of losing my job over this. It doesn’t feel like a serious enough issue to take the day off if that makes sense?

Either way, that’s why I’m posting here. I feel like I am freaking out over nothing but everything all at once.