r/AIO

CLOSED thanks guys :)

Am I overreacting? I (22 m) bought flowers for my girlfriend (23 f) for an event we were going to (edit for clarification - I bought her them because of the occasion. I was not planning for her to bring them to the event) . They were nice flowers! I went to a florist and spent a decent chunk of money on a custom bouquet (I’m aware the money isn’t what’s important but it did make it sting a little more) She said she liked them and that’s kind of where it ended. She just kinda put them off to the side and didn’t acknowledge them again and let them die. She didn’t take a photo of them or anything . I guess what I’m asking is am I being sensitive? I didn’t do it expecting anything from her but I’m wondering if I’m in the wrong for being a little hurt/feeling upset that it was unappreciated.

Edit: for everyone saying maybe she doesn’t like flowers - she does lol.

I was F20 at the time of this story. I’m now 21. This happened about a year ago. Last May, I found out on accident that someone I was seeing and had recently broken up with had pretty serious criminal sexual assault charges that are currently (still!) in court (25M, then 24). This news obviously devastated me. It made me reflect on abusive behaviors present in our relationship. We shared a huge circle of friends at the time.

My mom was aware of our relationship, but not of the abusive aspects. Can’t fault her for telling me not to leave. She did NOT know this man. They have never met. We were never married! Nothing that would make her form some close personal bond with him. However, when I told her about what I discovered and told her that I wanted people around us to know (for their safety), she lost her shit. She told me that I’m playing arbitrator in something that has nothing to do with me, to keep this to myself, that people will turn on me and side with him, etc. Super condescending shit, basically accusing me of wanting to capitalize off my ex and start up drama.

I’ll be honest, I didn’t do it! I only told people much later. We did get back together for some months, under very coercive circumstances. After it was over for good, I told a couple people we knew so he wouldn’t go on a trip (TO THE WOODS!) with us. I didn’t reveal the information to anyone more than I had to. Around the same time, I was going to file a restraining order against my ex. I had a pretty good basis for it, according to the police officer I spoke to. The report was written. All I had to do was come back to the station and sign off on it. I told the officer I needed a weekend to think. This is where I called my mom to make her aware of the situation and finally disclose the abusive relationship I was in. Her reaction to it was partially normal, as in she didn’t blame me for it happening or say he was in the right.

However, she told me not to file. I plan to apply to law school. She swore to me up and down that this will hang over my head forever, affect applications, what have you. She told me that protective orders don’t work (kinda true, as officers do ignore them at times). She told me that this is an overreaction and I should drop the whole situation and let him go. That these orders and offices and even sexual assault support groups aren’t things or places that truly care about you, they’re just there to gather statistics. Absolutely insane shit to say to someone in that position! And guess what? I never came back to that office. In my mind at the time, my “future” was more important. It doesn’t make much of a difference now, since that order would’ve only lasted six months, and I had no desire to get a permanent one and face him in court. My ex never attempted anything. But holy fuck am I retroactively shocked by my mother’s reaction. Why could she have possibly done that? She never knew this man! She told me I was right to end things the first time, as he was emotionally inconsistent among other things. What gives?

Are the consequences of having a restraining order filed that she described real? Was she trying to protect me and I’m insanely overreacting? Was she trying to shield me from people around us not believing me?

I’m not even sure if this is some cultural shame/internalized misogyny or if it does have to do with her personally. I just can’t see another reason for blatantly putting your child in harms way like this. This man was a chronic boundary-crosser with two pending sexual assault charges. Obviously unpredictable, and anything COULD have happened. Still boggles my mind why she would have done that. Even toxic people do anything to keep the people they want to emotionally drain around them. Surely, had my ex made one wrong decision, thanks to my mother, I would not have been around for long. What POSSIBLY could have been her motivation here?

Just want to know if I’m in the wrong and AIO?

My husband wants to purchase a brand-new diesel truck, which I’m not completely against, but I’m not sure this is the best time financially to do so. He asked for my thoughts, and I told him I’d like for us to sit down and go over our finances together to see if it’s a smart decision right now. This truck would nearly double his current truck payment. On top of that, we’re also preparing to add a $550 monthly payment for our son to attend private school this coming year — something my husband strongly wanted. We’re still waiting to hear back about financial aid and whether we’ll receive a grant.
I suggested we wait until August or September to purchase the truck so we can have a clearer picture of our finances first. My husband isn’t okay with that answer. He works in sales as a independent contractor and says purchasing the truck would help with our income and taxes. I haven’t told him “no” to the truck — I’ve only said I want us to be thoughtful and make sure it’s the right financial move before committing.
I’m a stay-at-home mom, although I do have my nursing degree. We made the decision for me to stay home because childcare for our children would cost around $2,000 a month. Since I haven’t immediately agreed to the truck, he says I don’t believe in him or support him financially. Meanwhile, he’s been test driving the truck, bringing it around the kids to show them, getting them excited about it, and constantly sending me texts and pictures about the payments and the truck itself.
What’s been hardest for me is how he’s handled the disagreement. He’s been disrespectful, calling me names, cussing at me, hanging up on me, and saying we should “just end things” because I’m not letting him get his way. He’s told me he wants a wife who supports him in the things he wants, like this truck. But I do support him — I just also don’t want us making a poor financial decision that could negatively affect our family later.
I grew up watching my parents make bad financial decisions, and I don’t want my children to grow up in that same kind of instability. We are financially comfortable right now, but life is unpredictable, and I think it’s reasonable to want to sit down, write out all of our expenses, and carefully think this through before taking on a much larger payment.
When I suggested we review everything together financially, he told me he “doesn’t have time” and that he doesn’t care what I say because he’s going to get the truck anyway. At this point, I’m questioning myself and wondering if I’m overreacting by wanting to slow down and think carefully before making such a big financial commitment. I’m also questioning whether I’m somehow being unsupportive because I’m not immediately saying yes.
This situation has my nervous system completely overwhelmed. I already struggle with anxiety, and the constant pressure, yelling, cussing, belittling, and raised voices around the kids are making it much worse. It honestly feels like he’s trying to make me feel guilty enough that I eventually give in and say yes.

I am a skinny guy, 145 6’0’’. My wife and I were cooking when she wanted to sit on the counter. I picked her up and dramatically pretended I couldn’t lift her. Thats when she says, “Why can’t you have muscles like Jack?” I know he is built better than me but I found her comment to be very rude. Jack only posts his gym improvements on his private insta account so im not sure how she saw his posts. Tbh im quite insecure about my weight as I struggle to gain it easily, her knowing this and still saying that kinda hurt & im not sure how to handle it. Ive been silent for the past day or 2 and now shes asking how long im gonna keep this up.

Pretty much as the title says. My boyfriend smokes Marlboro Lights and has for as long as I’ve known him. Maybe a week or so ago I noticed a half-full pack of American Spirits in a dish on the kitchen counter that serves as a “junk drawer”. It hasn’t been sitting right with me ever since, and this morning, I asked him where they came from. He gave me some non-answer about “they’ve been in my car for a long time” (presumably implying that they’ve been there since before we started dating, and maybe he ran out and just went out and grabbed them in a pinch?) commented that he didn’t like the taste, and changed the subject. This answer still didn’t sit right with me, but I’m not sure why.

For context, one reason I might be overreacting is because this man literally never throws things away, ever. He has La Croix’s in his fridge that have been sitting untouched since the ex-girlfriend who bought them moved out 5 years ago. We’ve joked about it before, him saying that every time he considers throwing them away, it just feels wasteful and he convinces himself he’ll drink them. So if a girl had left half a pack of smokes in his car before we became exclusive, (January 2025) it is entirely plausible that he would’ve left them there indefinitely.

The problem is, I feel like if that were the case, then he would’ve said that more clearly. So, after he left for work a few hours ago, I searched google and reddit for how to read date codes on cigarettes. I’m 99% sure based on what I read that this pack of American Spirits is from November of 2025. However, there is that chance that I’m wrong, and if I am, I’m worried about how damaging it could potentially be to the relationship if I press the issue further, and he hasn’t done anything wrong.

My gut is screaming at me that him having these cigarettes is a result of cheating, specifically another girl leaving them his car/house, but I don’t really have any evidence. I just feel like if the reason for him having them were innocent, I would’ve gotten a more complete answer on where they came from. I’m not sure what to do. I’ve packed up most of the clothes/toiletries that I keep here and put them in my car. Part of me wants to take all my stuff and disappear, but I know that isn’t the way to handle this.

I also feel like I must be overreacting because it seems like an insult to his intelligence to think that if he had cheated, he would leave the evidence right there on the kitchen counter. Or maybe he really has that much audacity. Idk. My head is spinning and I don’t know what to do. Sorry for rambling, and I’ll appreciate any advice that comes my way :)

For context, I’m posting this for my friend who doesn’t have Reddit with her consent and input. She has a friend she talks to on a quarterly basis who is engaged — let’s call this fiance “Sarah”. Sarah always used to shit on destination weddings, then she decided to have one.

Here are Sarah’s wedding details:
- No plus ones
- 3-4 days of events
- $750 a night rooms at a 5-star, all-inclusive resort in Mexico

My friend mentioned to Sarah that she might bring me to room and hang out with (even though I couldn’t attend the events), and Sarah was standoffish and thought it was “weird” to bring any friend to room with that wasn’t going to the wedding.

Understanding the costs, my friend asked Sarah if she would be upset if she didn’t go. Sarah said yes, it would affect their friendship, and that she actually could have made the rooms more expensive. My friend is considering trying to pair up with another guest to split the room cost. Mind you, my friend does not sleep well with other people to begin with and only knows a few acquaintances that might be going… no one she’s actually friends with.

I think this bride is being pretty unreasonable and selfish when it comes to her guests’ wallets and comfort, and I’m sure a lot of people will decline. A destination wedding in Mexico with rooms that expensive is one thing, but no plus ones to said wedding is another thing. I’d like to note that the bride and groom aren’t paying for the wedding themselves and their parents are funding it, so it’s not like they’re strapped for cash.

My friend is going back and forth about attending, but feels she has to go since she already verbally committed to the wedding and bachelorette a few months ago. She has not officially RSVP’ed to anything yet. My opinion is that Sarah is being unrealistic and my friend shouldn’t go to this multi-day wedding given the circumstances.

Am I — as the friend 😂 — overreacting here?

I (44 f) have been with my husband (44 m) for 15 years. After having kids I became a stay at home mom. For years your connection has grown more distant and our sex life has become almost nonexistent. He travels for work sometimes and frequently has to travel yo other states for the day so he leaves early in the morning (think 4 a.m.) and doesn't get home until very late.

Five days ago I walked into the room he was in and glanced at his phone. He quickly exited out of the page but not before I saw images of women with text next to their pictures. I confronted him that evening after our kids were asleep and at first he played dumb. Eventually he said that he had been looking at women on Instagram and followed a link that lead him to a page with adds for women advertising sex work (what i saw). He had clearly been scrolling through the images because I could tell it was not the top of the page.

He swore he is not now nor has he ever cheated. He told me he would share his location with me or do anything to show me he is not cheating. I took time to process and decided I wanted to look at his phone. I have never done this before but wanted to try to look for hidden apps/pictures. He gave me his phone and I found nothing. He was upset saying he wouldn't do anything to jeopardize what we have built.

I'm not sure what to think. He's trying to make me feel like I'm over reacting but I don't want to be naive. Any advise?

Yesterday I posted about how I thought my friend was abusing his girlfriend and I got an overwhelming amount of responses telling me to get her help.
I just wanted to tell you all that my girlfriend got in contact with the girl and she pretty much confirmed he is abusing her, but she doesn’t know how to get help.
I guess this was way worse than I thought and it’s been going on for a while. I feel bad I wasn’t able to step in sooner.
My girlfriend is trying to convince her to go to the police but she is scared because she’s had traumatic experiences with police officers in the past. Either way we’re definitely gonna get her help, my girlfriend’s parents have also offered to let her live with them for a bit since her home is not a safe space for her either.
Anyways I’ll be sure to keep yall updated and we are going to make sure this girl gets safe.

I (33F) and my husband (33M) have suffered from infertility for 10 + years. We had IVF failures and were told I could never get pregnant. So we stopped trying and decided adopting was for us ( been on a waiting list for 3 years and counting) . Due to the miracle of Maunjaro ( diabetic medicine) and a personal trainer both my husband and I lost weight and got in shape.

We got pregnant in April for the first time and unfortunately lost the pregnancy really fast, we got pregnant again in May and it stuck. Unfortunately I was really sick due to severe HG, gestational diabetes and at the end preeclampsia. Because of all these medical issues I was miserable , almost died and was hospitalized for 7 months out the 8 month pregnancy, which meant I wasn’t at work or out and about in town.

This is what my cousin , let’s call her Emery, started saying to anyone who would listen at the hair salon and to my clients . “She isn’t really pregnant, she’s adopting a kid in El Salvador and is going to pretend it’s hers when she gets back”

My other cousin didn’t believe her at first , let’s Call her Jay, she tried reaching out to me but I was sick so I wasn’t that into responding to calls or texts.

My aunt , Eli, their mom started saying that she knew I was faking it to get money and free stuff from a baby shower since she “met and took care of” the birth mom in El Salvador while she was there for a month vacation.

Fast forward to my baby shower, I’m still not doing great but I was allowed home for 2 weeks before the preeclampsia got diagnosed. My cousin Jay, arrived and before she said hi to me she went straight to my belly and rubbed it hard . Emery didn’t show and neither did my aunt because “ they knew it was fake and weren’t going to give me any money “ mind you when my cousins have had in combination of 7 kids I have always shown up and bought them baby stuff. All this was kept from me until baby was born for my health.

I found out once my baby was born that Jay only went to my baby shower to touch my belly and “expose me” in front of my guest. ( guess that plan fell through since she felt my baby kick)

Also once the baby pictures were out and Emery kept saying the baby wasn’t mine but my baby looks so much like my husband. Which people started telling her, she then changed the story to say that my baby is my husband’s biological child with his mistress ( my husband doesn’t have a mistress) and that is the reason baby looks so much like him.

I found out all of this a month PP after I was finally home from even more complications from the birth and pregnancy. Emery reached out to say congratulations and to ask subtle questions about where I was “hiding” . I told her I was hospitalized and she acted like she didn’t know. My mom is the one that has been keeping all the family away bc of this BS and wanted me to heal and enjoy motherhood since I worked so hard to get here.

My grandma says they are just jealous bc their husbands mistreat them and have divorced one of them while my husband is devoted to me. That the envy they have is natural and misguided but that family is for life. That I am overreacting and should be the bigger person and reach out bc family is important .

So AIO for going NC with my aunt and cousins ?

Growing up I was always taught that family is family no matter what and that you should always be there for them. But honestly I think I’ve hit my breaking point with my sister (26F) lately. Almost every time she calls me after work, when I’m already tired and just trying to relax, she immediately starts ranting about politics, men, social media drama, or some awful thing she saw on the news. It’s nonstop negativity and it leaves me mentally drained every single time.

I finally told her that I only want positive conversations from now on because I can’t keep absorbing all this anger and stress after long days. I said if she starts another rant, I’m just going to hang up, and if she hates that boundary so much then maybe we should just block each other because I genuinely cannot do this anymore. AIO?

Hello. I’m using a throwaway account in case anyone recognizes my situation.

I’ve been with my wife for about 8 years now. 3 of them married. We’re both in our early 30’s and have been talking about starting the whole family thing since we are both in a comfortable financial place.

She’s been open to having kids the entire time I knew her but recently she dropped a bombshell on me about that.

First, some quick background info: She has an ex-boyfriend who passed away 11 years ago now. I’ve been aware of this since I met her. It’s never gotten in the way of our relationship and she’s brought him up before but in healthy ways. Never seemingly longing for him.

So as for the bombshell. She told me last night that he froze his sperm shortly before he passed away. She said that she made an agreement with him that she’d use his sperm to get pregnant and raise the kid with another partner after he’s gone.

She still wants to have kids with me, but she wants to honor his memory and fulfill her promise to have his kid first.

My biggest issue is why is this only coming up now? We’ve had so long to discuss this. She said she only brought it up now since we were serious about kids. I said I was serious about that before we were even engaged.

Ive never had an issue with this past relationship but something just isn’t sitting right with me on this. We’re not fighting or anything but we aren’t done talking about this. I’m more confused and worried than anything right now.

AIO?

Edit:

Some people seem to be confused as to why he’d freeze his sperm before he passed away. He knew that his time was short because he was diagnosed with a type of blood cancer and donated his sperm before starting chemo therapy. I believe he died within 3-4 months after finishing his first round of chemo.

Other people have brought up how it was stored and paid for. I didn’t even consider this and honestly I don’t know. Her family is well off and still connects with his parents occasionally. It’s possible they’ve been paying for the storage. I’m honestly not sure.