r/AIO

I’m not even sure where to start. My husband has been very vocal about wanting to own guns. I used to be more open about them than I am now (we live in the U.S. and the increased number of school shootings has really turned me off to them). About a year ago, my husband expressed interest in getting his license to carry. I said I didn’t love the idea of guns in the house with 2 young children. At the time I was newly pregnant with our second child and our other child was just over a year old. Not too long after that discussion, I found out he obtained his license to carry. I told him I really didn’t feel comfortable with guns in the house and that I felt like this was a decision where both people need to be on board. He said he would always be safe with them. I told him we could discuss further if he could keep the chemicals under the sink locked up from our toddler for a year…he consistently forgets to latch the cabinet where we keep cleaning supplies. Thankfully she keeps him aware by saying “uh oh” if it’s not latched and she’s generally not interested in them. Since that discussion, the longest he’s consistently kept them locked up as been 1 week. Fast forward to recently…I use the bathroom and found a gun sitting on the side of our bathtub. I was completely alarmed because WTF. I was sick to my stomach. I had no idea there were guns in the house and the lack of concern for safety by my husband, the gun owner, was…appalling. Our toddler could have easily gotten a hold of it if she saw it first. My husband justified the mishap by explaining that the gun wasn’t loaded and it would take a lot of force to pull the trigger. I told him I don’t trust him anymore. He said I was overreacting and spit out a bunch of justifications for the situation.

Internet strangers, AIO?

Yesterday my (25M) roommate (25F) asked me about my income. I recently started a better paying job and she asked what my paychecks were looking like. I told her my hourly pay, then added that because I work less than 40h a week my paychecks are smaller than you would think, telling her that number as well.

When I asked her why, she said she was thinking about asking me to take on more of the rent, since I make more than her, saying she is struggling with money right now, but after hearing what my paychecks are, she won't ask that of me.

I said that I was sorry to hear she is struggling right now, but even if I was receiving larger checks I would likely not do that for her, as we started renting together splitting everything 50/50. She said that she pays more because she pays the pet rent. And she's "bleeding money" right now. I said that I have plenty of debts, medical and school related, which she doesn't have.

We dropped the conversation after that, but it's been kinda bothering me. She pays the pet rent because they're her cats. I pay for half of their litter, food, and I even paid the groomer because one of her cats sheds really bad and was making my allergies act up. We split all the groceries 50/50 too.

I suppose I'm just frustrated she would ask me to take on more of the rent when she could easily reach out to her parents for help. They paid off her credit card debt the last time she was in pretty deep and struggling, and they are very willing to front her money for things she needs but can't afford at the time. I'm financially independent from my parents as we don't have a good relationship, and don't have the luxury of having someone else pay off my debts.

Am I justified in my frustration with her bringing this up? I don't want to restart the discussion because I'd rather not cause an argument, especially since she didn't actually make that request of me. I've just been going over the conversation in my mind, unable to drop it and building up frustration.

Edit: thanks for the advice and affirmation everyone! Because some folks have asked: my roommate is my best friend and she is the closest thing to family I have. That's why I talk with her about finances, we are very close and discuss most things. I do not mind helping her out, as she has been there for me at points in my life where I needed help. I apologize for not clarifying that before, I did not intended to misled, I just forgot most people aren't close with their roommates.

Many of you say I should not be paying for the cats litter/food. I do agree somewhat, but she also pays for half of the expensive protein shakes I get from the grocery store. I find it simpler to just split every grocery run 50/50 rather than trying to itemize the lists to who owes what.

Thanks again everyone, I appreciate the outside perspective and I can let this rest more easily now

We’ve been together for 11 years and have 3 children. We are not married but have lived as such, which I honestly feel stupid for.

My partner got a new really good job 2 years ago.

We were on vacation with family 2 weeks ago and everyone was talking about benefits and such from jobs. My partner then said he has a large life insurance policy but he made his beneficiary as our son (the middle child who is 8 btw) then went on to say the reason he didn’t put me down is because he had faith I would be fine supporting myself and the kids and didn’t trust me with his “death money”

I got super offended, I also did NOT know this so I was also very caught off guard. He never even spoke to me about this prior at all.

I said “what if something happened to you while our children were small and under my care?” He said “I would make sure the money couldn’t be accessed until he was 18” then my next series of questions were “WHAT ABOUT HIS BROTHER AND SISTER?”

I kept quiet after that, but I’ve been feeling very overwhelmed with feelings about this. I feel like I’ve made a huge mistake with this man, and it’s taken me this long to see it. He doesn’t seem to understand why I’m upset and thinks it’s gold digging behaviors to be this offended.

Keep in mind, at this moment I DO work but 80% of our income is support from HIM!

Hi reddit... I made this account for a story on the same guy earlier this year but deleted it because... you'll see why.

I had no idea how to word this title, because it's a very specific situation that I hardly understand. Basically, I dated this guy for about 6 months, he's a youtuber and a streamer on twitch. Everything started out great, he was always so sweet and loving, and he would talk about living together and having a child together, blah blah (I sound cynical and you'll see why). I didn't have any issues with him, he was funny and perfectly my type in every way. This all began to go downhill after I asked if we could either have a facetime call, or play a game (any game) together once a week, because I wanted to see him (and that's what couples do, you know)(we are long distance btw). We had a long talk about how he wanted to do that, but his schedule as a youtuber and streamer doesn't allow for him to cut out more than one hour like that for anyone, not even his friends. I was like "okay, then what about just whenever you have enough free time and want to spend time with me".

We tried that for like--a week-- and he told me he can't do it anymore, that the more time he spends away from his work makes him feel incredibly stressed out, that he would much rather spend his free time relaxing and not playing with me because that makes it just another thing he has to do, etc. I was accepting of that, because I am not a youtuber trying to make it on my own, so I thought I don't understand what constant work may go into that. Even though the content he makes is simple ASMR videos of him eating whatever he decided to eat that day, and editing out the background noise. (I tried that myself one time as a hobby, it took me 1 hour and 40 minutes to make a 20 minute video... hm).

Time went on, and our relationship started to do something between dwindling, and completely crashing and burning. A little "I miss you" from me every once in a while, watching him become less excited to see me even when I sent spicy things, talking to me less and less. When I brought it up to him however many times, he would either get really defensive or avoidant. "I've already tried to communicate this many times I feel", and it's about how he cannot handle anything too complicated... like a girlfriend trying to spend time with him that's longer than 20 minutes, or... trying to have a SERIOUS conversation about boundaries, or where the relationship is headed. He says "we just spent an hour talking about something, I can't have that."

Ever since the first conversation, I could feel him charging up to break up with me. And he eventually did; called me crying and saying he's sorry and he can't do it over and over. He was panicking hard, so I decided to be calm and accept us breaking up. He still wanted to be friends, and when I mentioned the sex stuff, he said that was fine too (the conversation led there because he told me to keep his nudes). So then we were FWB for a while.

My feelings got in the way the first time, and we dropped to just friends for a while. For those couple months when things were good, he genuinely made me feel like I was his whole world. I started sort of depending on him emotionally, feeling like he was my soulmate and that this was a happily ever after kind of thing. Having that torn away, but also having him still want to be in my life was incredibly confusing to me. Even to this day, it's been extremely hard to move on from him, considering he's still very much here.

We tried FWB again two days ago, and I thought "okay, this time we'll talk about it first in depth, and set boundaries and let each other know of our preferences." So I asked him about things like whether or not he'd have more than one FWB at a time, how long he expects to do it with me... and apparently this was his final straw. He told me that I really shouldn't be thinking about it that hard, and that "it's just fun". He told me that he'd want to pursue a real relationship one day, and he'd tell me and leave when it was that time. I told him something along the lines of "but I'm here" and "why can't it be me" and he says he doesn't want that complexity of someone standing over his shoulder waiting for him to be ready again.

I've been confused for a really long time. I'm starting to not want to talk to him at all anymore. I thought we were going to live together at the start of this year, and now I'm just some transitional eye candy until he's done with it. And if he was going to try to date me again when he's ready, I'm not even sure I'll want to try, because all I've been shown is someone who is deathly afraid to show up in a relationship. How would he ever be able to handle fatherhood? And he says it's all just because of the point he's at in life, and that he can't handle complications in his life right now. All he does every day is get up, order McDonalds, eat it in front of a camera and then play videogames until he goes to sleep. I've seen homeless people with a more faceted life. He has a whole family to fall back on, and almost 100k in inheritance that is open to him at any time. He even has two degrees (one in psychology and one in film).

Am I missing something? I've lost trust in this man that he will ever improve in communication skills, because I really don't believe his life is that complicated that he cannot handle one hour for a girlfriend. I'm thinking it's not his life, but something in his brain that he needs to get checked out...maybe chronic anxiety. So I just want opinions. Especially from people who are youtubers for a living. Is his life really that difficult that he breaks down at every complicated conversation? Or do you think there's something going on with his mental health that I shouldn't be dealing with? Am I overreacting by being upset at him?

throwaway account since he uses reddit but he’s probably gonna find it anyway. gonna try to keep this short.

basically, my bf (25m) and i (23f) were talking on the phone and i was talking about a girl friend i had who got into an accident (she was at fault, whatever) he said all of you women are bad drivers. he gives a couple different examples of when he was in someone else’s car while they were driving and a woman cut them off or did something dumb. i told him it’s misogynistic to say all women are bad drivers, especially when men are charged whatever percentage more for insurance just because they’re men. he says yes, men are reckless drivers, but its a fact that women are worse drivers because of the examples he just listed, i told him his personal experience is not a fact, just a personal experience, and to say women are bad drivers based off this example is misogynistic whether he means to be or not. i was starting to get upset at this point.

he said that i’m not necessarily a bad driver but i’m not a good one either. i told him all the accidents i was in were with men, but he dismissed it. he says this is why men upcharge women at the auto shop, he said that when he says women are bad drivers he’s misogynistic but when women say men are trash it’s a double standard. that’s what made me mad because those have nothing to do with each other, hundreds of years of men being shitty has nothing to do with your personal experience of some women being bad drivers. eventually i told him to drop it and he did after he got his last word in.

after this i was kinda pissy, saying stuff like next time we’re together he can get his own car to drive since im such a bad driver. he kinda laughed, i was joking but i was being serious. he eventually asked me what kind of engine a honda civic has? and he asked about some other car. i told him that asking me a question he knows i don’t know the answer to about a car ive never stepped foot in so he can catch me about being wrong, is misogynistic and i dont want to talk anymore. he said he wasnt trying to was just trying to change the topic and he apologized but at this point i was already mad. he said he was sorry for being misogynistic then the conversation was dropped again and he tried being nice or whatever but i was super shut down and didnt want to talk so he hung up to give me space. aio?

Me (31F) and my husband (35M) have been together for 11 1/2 years and married for almost 4.
Important details : He works in the music industry (so we are apart a lot) and works mainly out of Nashville (weekend touring), so he has an apartment in Nashville. Our main home is in Canada, where we are both originally from, and I live full time. No kids, 1 cat.

Trust and communication are huge in our relationship, and we honestly do a really good job at making it all work.

On to MY issue - Through the artist/band he works for (mostly all single), he has met this woman (let's call her Lindsay) who has been friends with all these guys for a few years now. She is petite, blonde and works in Sports Broadcasting doing interviews with players. A real "one-of-the-guys" kind of girl.
She invites them all regularly to her buildings rooftop pool, golfing days and bar crawls. Lindsay also regularly talks to the guys about her sex life, and I have heard a few stories from my husband.

Lindsay dates around but has been single for quite some time, and my husband often says "once you meet her, you'll understand why".

Yesterday, my husband was meant to go golfing with her, and one of the guys from the band. Last minute, the other guy cancelled so it was just Lindsay and my husband golfing together. He mentioned that all throughout the round, she was mentioning a guy she is talking to, and spent the whole morning asking my husband what she should say to this guy to make him like her more & what she should be doing differently on her dating profiles.

I have an issue with this because it is as though she is asking what HE would want to hear/ what HE would want her to say to HIM if he were this other guy.

I have full trust in him, but it wouldn't be the first time a woman tried with him even though he's married. I just think that she could be asking all the other SINGLE LONG TERM friends these questions instead of the married guy who has been off the market and not in the dating world since 2015.

So, AIO about a single woman asking my husband for dating advice?

My(29f) friend(29f) Jen(fake name) is just terrible with money.

Backstory: I don’t have many friends, she’s 1 of 4. She’s pretty immature but very sweet and I’ve known her since middle school. She is in my bridal party. I try not to lend her $ but there are occasions with the bridal stuff or group hangouts where it is inevitable. Idc how my friends spend their $ as long as it doesn’t affect me.

I’m at the age where I feel like I’ve saved a good amount of money where I can go out with friends and do stuff without worrying about it. Whenever I want to do stuff with Jen, she is always tight on money, which I can be sympathetic to if it wasn’t for her poor habits. She’s a collector and constantly spends money on clothes, tattoos, figurines, and video games. And she’s the type of person who gets so excited about her purchases she needs to tell everyone, even tho she’s always complaining about money.

She will complain about being low on money yet in the next breath show the 4 things she bought last night on Etsy. She will want to make plans to do something that costs money but has to wait to see what her coming paycheck is before committing. She owes me $400 for our bridal trip coming up that she still hasn’t payed, and has told me multiple times how much anxiety she has about owing me multiple hundreds, yet is constantly talking about her $300 tattoo appointment this week and how she’s saved up for it and is so excited. She will complain about prices to go out yet brag about the figure collectibles she just bought. When we go out in a group for food, I sometimes wind up paying the bill and everyone else takes a pic to send their part. Jen will always forget to send the money and need to be reminded, which makes me feel like she does not prioritize paying me back. When I do remind her she will send it, but usually forgets to add extra for tip or will calculate her bill wrong so it’s short a few bucks.

She’s so sweet and I know she has a good heart and has been a good friend to me, but I just get so aggregated about everything surrounding money with her. I feel like we are too old to be careless with money like that if we don’t have the funds. She does not possess the ability to self control her “fun spending”, and in return she always is low on money and complaining about it or owing people even tho she still spends on bs. AIO?

TLDR my friend is always low on money or owes money but bragging about buying new collectible shit every other day and I feel like I’m too old for this behavior

My (23m) girlfriend (24f) and I have actually been in a really good place lately as we’ve been router for 1.5 years. I trusted her, then I made a mistake and looked through her phone.

For context, she was at her hometown visiting for a week and a half when I saw a conversation with a guy from her hometown and most of the messages were deleted. The only messages left were him saying, “Thanks for the money,” and her saying, “You’re welcome.” Everything else in the conversation was deleted. I couldn’t find any payment history, so I have no idea how much it was or what it was for.

The next day I casually asked about her trip home and eventually mentioned the person by name asking if she saw him. She looked completely shocked and kept asking how I even knew who he was because she says she’s never talked about him to me.

She told me she never saw him while she was home, they aren’t friends, and that he randomly “Snapchats” her but she ignores him. She also said she doesn’t talk to him because he allegedly “sold drugs to someone and killed them with a pill”… which is so fd up.

I just played into it even though she was lying through her teeth to my face, and don’t bother confronting her with what I actually saw, because I also violated her privacy by looking at her phone. It was wrong of me to do, but I never would’ve know if I didn’t come across what I saw.

The thing that’s messing with me is… if you don’t talk to someone and you’re not friends with them, why is there a “thanks for the money” message? And why is the rest of the conversation deleted?

To make matters worse, deleted conversations have been an issue before in our relationship, so this isn’t the first time I’ve run into something like this. Just sucks in particular because I’ve worked really hard hard on rebuilding trust with her and now I feel like it’s being violated again, and she has not a damn clue that I know what she did.

I’m not saying she cheated because I know nobody can know that from this. I just feel like something doesn’t add up. It it even worth it if I keep digging into this, or am I just going to drive myself insane?

Basically, in about 2 weeks my brother has a wedding. I (17F) have bought my own shirt with my own money i earned from work, my mum personally doesn't like it though i have made sure with my brother that it is wedding appropriate. she has been saying "you can't wear that to the wedding" or "that's not wedding appropriate" even though i have asked the person getting married, and he has confirmed he doesn't mind if i wear it. i have made it clear to my parents that i will not be wearing a dress, i don't feel comfortable in a dress. My mum has now started saying "you're wearing a dress" or "you have to wear a dress. trousers aren't wedding appropriate". I have refused to wear a dress, so now she is saying "you're not coming" and "you're not allowed to go to the wedding then". i have told her "it's not your wedding, you don't get to uninvite people" and shes still saying "well i'm saying you're not coming". To get my brother's opinion on this, I've said "mum and dad are saying i'm not allowed to come to the wedding because i'm not wearing what they want me to wear. they are saying i can't go unless i wear a dress and i don't want to wear a dress." I've been told by my brother "you are 17 years old, you wear whatever you want to wear, be yourself. you don't have to wear a dress, i can't believe they're using our wedding against you like this. wear whatever you want, we want you there and that's coming from the groom".

I met this girl a little over 3 months ago. Things went really well at first and we got into a relationship pretty quickly. However, I eventually found out that she smokes and drinks. That’s a major dealbreaker for me, so I didn't see a long-term future with her and decided to end things.

We stayed in contact, though. As we kept talking and getting to know each other more, I thought "why not give it another try," and she agreed that we should give it a second chance.

But right after that, her behavior completely changed. She refused to meet up with me, ignored my texts, and whenever I tried to call her, it went straight to voicemail.

Then, two nights ago, she called me in the middle of the night. I answered and just said "Hey, how are you?" and she literally hung up in my face. I sent her a text after that, and honestly, I was just so exhausted and drained by her behavior that I decided to block her.

Fast forward to today: she calls me from a private/hidden number. She was mad that I blocked her and told me "this isn't how you're going to date me," plus some other stuff I didn't even really understand.

Honestly, I'm just tired of the whole situation. But it got me thinking: did I overreact by blocking her? Was I being too excessive, or was I justified in cutting contact?

My friend is in town from another state and couldn’t get a hotel . Hotels are too expensive so I told her she could stay with me and her 4 kids . She’s supposed to be staying with me for a week She is pretty nice and sweet . I’ve never had an issue with her. It’s the loudness of the kids interrupting my sleep on work nights . I need to be well rested on 8+ hours of sleep so I can be functional at work . For 3 days I’ve felt like a zombie . I’ve been operating on 4/5 hours of sleep for 3 days because I cannot sleep through noise and I’ve been exhausted at work . Even with white noise I can hear the music playing, the loud foot steps, the tv is blasting . I don’t want to be mean so i told her if she could please tell her kids . I don’t understand why it sounds like an earth quake while someone is walking . Like why are the food steps that loud . And also the kids constantly talking . I need peace and quiet in order to sleep . Idk what to do at this point. . Her kids are 15, 12, and 17 so they should be old enough to know you have to be considerate of other people when they sleep or maybe they just don’t care