I [28F] asked my [28M] boyfriend to never allow his “sister” [29F]to sleep over again and to be less loving towards her?
TLDR: I want my boyfriend to never let his “sister” sleep at our home again and prefer he is less loving towards her.
My boyfriend let’s call him Brandon and I have been together for 2 years. He is absolutely the most amazing man I’ve ever met. He asked my mom if he could marry me (I’m not supposed to know) so I know he’s gonna propose soon. He has never given me any reason to think he’d cheat or anything like that. I get along with his family but it feels like his “sister” Ashley is too close to him. Like it feels like she always giving him extra attention when I’m around. I don’t like Ashley.
Backstory:
Brandon and Ashley known each other since birth. Brandon’s mom is Ashley’s god mom. They lived in the same home as teen. Him and her have had sex in past… multiple times. There’s videos of him and her on her “private life” site from before we started dating, which disgusts me a bit tbh. They are very close whenever they are in the same room as each other, always a bunch of jokes and that I think are borderline.
She has all the features that guys like. Big ass, d cups, she’s pretty and blonde. I know I sound jealous but It’s more so the fact that they fucked before in the past and are very touchy and always hugging on each other.
I just feel like anytime she’s around when I’m around Brandon that they are always touching or hugging each other. Too playful. She has all these nicknames for him and is always calling him an asshole but always seems like she wants his attention. They don’t see each other too much and many of my only interactions around her have been holidays and family get togethers. Sometimes she will come over and play video games and sleep on the couch. It’s happened a few times.
Well, Last night was my breaking point. They went out with friends. I was invited but didn’t go (was making lesson plans). They came home drunk. It’s whatever… later, Brandon and I are on the couch, she comes over and sits on his lap. It’s only for a few seconds (though it felt longer) before she sprawled back on the couch into a position where her legs are feet are in his lap. He gives her a foot massage and they act like it’s normal. They were being very playful with each other like I wasn’t in the room. Which led to her praising Brandon about how great his foot massages are how lucky I am to have such an amazing boyfriend and that he should marry me. I say, “don’t let it go to his head he’s already got a big head already” he reply is “which one” then blushes and laughs. And he laughs too. I get that they were both wasted drunk… but I was mad about it and feel like it was inappropriate.
The next morning (this morning) Ashley leaves and I told my boyfriend what bothered me last night. I think he heard me, I told him I didn’t want Ashley to ever sleep over here again and asked that he also be less playful around her. He was very kind and soft about it. He said he was trying to understand and would do whatever keeps me happy. He assured me Ashley is just his “sister” and he understands and blamed himself for being drunk last night.
I don’t like her, I don’t like that she slept with him, I don’t like that his family loves her.
I feel like I’m in the right but also his kind and soft reaction and willingness to give me what I want makes me question. Am I just being jealous and insecure? Like that’s NOT his sister, that’s a girl he’s fucked before who has more history with him than me. I should be the closest woman in his life?
Was asking him to be less loving towards his “sister” and that she can never sleep over again over the top?