r/relationshipproblems

My Boyfriend 22M and I 20F were having a political discussion about immigriation. Side note we are both mixed. Im a left winged person and as he told me before he was around the middle (not neutral). Turns out he has pretty much right winged opinions about immigration which shocked me and to be honest I find it quiet absurd coming from him since part of his family are immigrants. I honestly dont know what to do since it also has something to do with my moral compass. What would you do in my situation?

Side note: We in general have some issues where he does not want to compromise since „its just the way he is“ and i think that adds to it since he also brought up that argument when i mentioned that he should maybe look more into it.

He’s very nice to me, for example insisting to pay for everything, providing emotional support, doing things he doesn’t like to do, but do it with me anyways, and helping me study for stuff that he already did and don’t need to study, etc. And when we hangout, he’s almost never scrolling or texting others, and I can use his phone since I know his password.

But, he also pushes me away. He says if he finds a gf, he will leave me but introduce his gf to me (the same if I find a bf). And he also jokes that he is gay (obviously not he has an ex girlfriend, and he doesn’t look like gay at all, and he also asks me for female friends…). He also calls me bro, and texts like a bro too.

It’s very conflicting. I just want to know how he feels about me. Is he avoidant? (I am an avoidant myself too, but I can’t imagine spending so much time and money on someone I don’t like, but I can imagine pushing someone away like this because I did the same tbf, I said he was a good bro a good friend etc.)

(Take this detail however you want but I have bpd and he is very most likely autistic)

For context we've been fighting a bit lately about the fact that I don't feel loved enough and he keeps saying that we both know he's not enough for me..

I don't want it to be true but the reality is that : I am a hard working person, proud of what she does, party animal, very social. While my boyfriend is very introverted, almost addicted to video games, never goes out and got deeply depressed without ever wanting to help himself however much I would talk and beg to him..

I love him deeply, we've had a wonderful 3 years and 3 cats together.. We've also had some conversations on opening the relationship because I was frank with him and told him that I did cheat on my last relationship because I need new things and adventure (he was the same way has my current boyfriend).
He is a kind of open to it but I just really don't know how would that work..

I met someone at work this week and it's making me rethink all of this because of the last weeks and the fact that i met practically what I need..
I really do not want to hurt him but I am getting tired and need a new start.

Any advice from men or women would be helpful thank you very much:(

My boyfriend was caught online cheating? What should I do?

My boyfriend(20M) and I(21F) have been together for almost 7 months, and I honestly don’t know if I’m staying because I genuinely believe this can be fixed or because I’m emotionally attached and struggling to let go.
After our nice trip to Miami that his dad paid for us to go, straight after things started feeling off. I noticed weird behavior with his texting and just a general feeling that something wasn’t right. While I was back In Kalamazoo amd he was in Detroit, he did some things… Eventually I found out he had been on Tinder and multiple sugar daddy/sugar baby websites while we were together. Not just looking either — he searched them up in multiple cities like Kalamazoo, Detroit, and Grand Rapids. He told me it was because he was feeling emotionally disconnected from me.
What hurts is that instead of communicating that to me or trying to work through it with me, he went elsewhere for validation/attention. I also found evidence that he tried to purchase memberships for some of the sugar daddy websites because I saw it on his debit card statement. He also received a nude from a sugar baby girl. He says he didn’t ask for it, but the whole situation already crossed major boundaries for me.
There were also moments where he acted weird with his phone, protective over it, and I started feeling suspicious enough that I wondered if he was hiding or deleting things. At one point I even started asking people how to tell if someone is cheating/hiding things on their phone because my anxiety got so bad. I hate that I’ve become this person because I was never like this before.
The hardest part is that he does seem emotional about losing me. He cries, tells me he misses me, says he loves me, says he wants to fix things, and acts devastated over the idea of me leaving. But part of me keeps wondering if he misses \\\*me\\\* or if he misses the comfort, attention, emotional support, and love I gave him. Sometimes I feel like he’s more upset about losing the relationship than fully understanding the betrayal itself.
At the same time, he \\\*has\\\* been taking steps that make this more confusing for me emotionally. He told his parents what he did, and he’s planning to tell mine too because he says he wants to fully own up to it instead of hiding it. He also said he’s going to seek therapy to figure out why he handled disconnection this way in the first place and to work on himself. Part of me sees that as genuine accountability, but another part of me is scared it’s only happening because he got caught and is afraid to lose me.
I’ve also had other issues with him not really showing effort in thoughtful ways. For example, I’ve had multiple conversations with him about wanting more consideration, emotional presence, and small meaningful gestures. I’ve explained that I need the small things to feel loved. I even brought things up multiple times and eventually told him I wasn’t going to keep repeating myself anymore because if change only happens after repeated conversations, then it doesn’t feel genuine.
Recently he told me he wants to “live in the present” instead of worrying too much about the future. But that honestly scared me because I \\\*do\\\* think long term in relationships. I care about stability and knowing someone sees a future with me. Him saying that made me wonder if he’s avoiding commitment/accountability or if I’m just overthinking it.
Right now we’re basically in a “trial period.” My therapist actually said that was smart because I told him clearly:
If he cheats again, I’m gone.
If he hides things again, I’m gone.
If there’s no transparency, effort, or emotional availability, I’m gone.
If I keep feeling emotionally unsafe and anxious all the time, I’m gone.
But I still feel conflicted every single day. Some days I think maybe trust can be rebuilt if someone truly changes. Other days I feel stupid for even trying because I’m scared he’ll just get better at hiding things. I overanalyze constantly now. Every little thing makes me anxious. I don’t want to become controlling, paranoid, or someone who checks phones and searches for proof all the time.
One thing that really stuck with me was when my friend’s mom told me: “You deserve someone who goes toward YOU when they’re feeling disconnected, not someone who looks elsewhere to fulfill their needs.” And honestly that hit hard because I know it’s true.
I still love him deeply, though, and that’s what makes this so difficult.
So I guess I’m asking:
Can trust realistically come back after this?
Do people who do this usually repeat the behavior?
Am I overanalyzing because of betrayal trauma, or are these instincts I should listen to?
Is staying during a “trial period” reasonable, or am I dragging out the inevitable?
Would you personally stay after this?

I, 25/F have been in a relationship w my 29/M boyfriend for 2 years. He’s my first boyfriend and I feel like this is part of the reason I’m having a hard time navigating what to do.

We’re both teachers, however he has been unemployed this past year and will probably continue to be unemployed for this upcoming year due to his lack of responsibility and work ethic. Last year, in June 2025 he was no longer eligible to teach because he needed to pass an assessment (edtpa) to earn his credential. He slacked off on it, way before he met. He procrastinated and submitted whatever slob he had and as a result he failed (for the 2nd time). I understood that last year was hard for him because his mom was deported in January of 2025 and his sister (whom he’s very close with) moved across the country. However he has not made any progress to revise his work

I feel like I’ve given him so much grace, but it’s hard for me to be attracted to him at this point. Sex with feels forced but ultimately he’s a very sweet and attentive man and I hope things change.

For context, my boyfriend has a more anxious attachment style, while I lean fearful-avoidant. We’ve been together for almost a year, and we both struggle with fears of abandonment, but those fears show up in very different ways.

For the most part, our relationship has been loving and healthy, but our bigger conflicts usually stem from emotional regulation and communication issues on both sides. Early on, my boyfriend was dealing heavily with anxiety and depression. He would often cry and sob to me about life stressors and worries, and over time I started feeling emotionally overwhelmed and avoidant because it felt like there was always something making him anxious or unhappy. Eventually, that emotional exhaustion started affecting my libido and emotional connection.

As a result, his anxiety around the relationship intensified. He would frequently ask questions like, “Do you still love me?”, “Are you still attracted to me?”, or “Please never leave me.” He kept trying to understand why my libido had changed, and eventually I tried to explain as gently as I could that I was feeling emotionally drained and struggling with the dynamic because it felt like i had to "mother" him. I told him that while I absolutely had no issue with him being vulnerable or crying to me sometimes, it had started to feel emotionally consuming for me. Unfortunately, I think what I said hurt him deeply, and since then I feel like he suppresses a lot of his depression instead of expressing it openly.

Another major issue in our relationship involved cigarettes. Early in our relationship, he promised me he would quit smoking. Later, at a party, I found him smoking after telling me he wouldn’t, which felt like a breach of trust to me. That was the first time I ever threatened to leave the relationship. He promised he would seek counseling afterward, but it never really happened. Eventually I tried to move forward and trust him again regardless.

At the same time, I fully recognize that I also contribute to our unhealthy patterns. I struggle to apologize first, I have unresolved trauma from childhood as well as past relationships where I was cheated on, and when conflict happens I tend to become reactive, aggressive, and defensive. I curse during arguments and engage in protest behaviors like threatening to leave or implying a breakup when I feel hurt, abandoned, or emotionally unsafe. I have never insulted him personally but I do say "fuck you" when heated.

My boyfriend had communicated to me multiple times that the cursing and breakup threats were deeply triggering for him. He specifically warned me that if I threatened to leave again, he would eventually take it seriously and walk away. Recently, we had another major conflict after he went to a college house he claims he doesn’t even enjoy being at because people there do coke. When I saw he was there while I was on a trip I immediately became reactive and spiraled emotionally. I lashed out at him, and for the first time he seemed emotionally exhausted enough to accept the idea of the relationship ending instead of fighting against it. After a long and emotional conversation, we ultimately agreed to take a one-month break instead of fully breaking up.

In the past, I had suggested taking a break in the relationship, but he guilted me out of it. Then, last March, he suggested taking a break for himself, and I rejected the idea partly because he had denied me the same space before. This time, though, I agreed to the break because I truly do not want to lose him, and I genuinely want to work on myself and become healthier in how I handle conflict and emotional regulation.

At the same time, the situation has left me feeling like I’m entirely at fault and that I’ll be the only one doing personal work during this break. He was extremely hurt and angry over me threatening to leave again, which I understand because he had warned me before that he would eventually take those threats seriously. I fully acknowledge that my reaction was unhealthy and disproportionate, even though I still feel that the underlying reason I was upset was valid. I just handled those feelings in a very destructive way.

When we discussed the conditions of the break, he told me he would not be making himself available to other women and that he did not want me talking to other men either. That gives me some reassurance that this break is not simply about him wanting to move on or punish me, but rather about trying to create space for both of us to reflect and improve.

Even so, I keep spiraling emotionally. I constantly wonder whether he misses me, whether he’s already emotionally checked out, or whether he plans to leave once the month is over. At the same time, I also feel resentment over certain promises and changes he said he would make in the relationship that never fully happened. So I feel caught between guilt for my own behavior, fear of abandonment, hope that we can repair things, and unresolved hurt toward him as well.

He told me therapy is imperative for us to be together so I'm going back to therapy, but he never went to counseling when he said he would. I want to share these hurts but we are no contact for another 3 weeks. Any advice is much appreciated, thank you.

TL;DR: My boyfriend (anxious attachment) and I (fearful avoidant) have been together almost a year and both struggle with abandonment issues that show up in opposite ways. He became emotionally dependent and constantly sought reassurance due to anxiety/depression, while I became emotionally overwhelmed and reactive. We both developed unhealthy patterns- he suppressed his feelings and broke promises at times, while I handled conflict badly by cursing, threatening to leave, and acting out of fear/insecurity. After a recent argument involving him being at a college house I was uncomfortable with, he finally took my breakup threats seriously and suggested a one month break. We agreed not to pursue other people during it, and I genuinely want to work on myself and repair things, but I’m spiraling over whether he misses me, whether he’ll leave when the break ends, and whether I’m unfairly taking all the blame for our relationship issues.

…and i don’t know what to do.

I’ve been dating the same person for over 9 years now. It’s been mostly good with ups and downs here and there. We met in high school through mutual friends and still play dnd together to this day.

Since high school we haven’t really ever lived near each other. I’ve moved a bunch while living with my mom. I could have possibly moved out but my dad died and I’ve stuck around to help raise my mom’s foster kids. This has made it difficult, along with her working second shift, for us to make time to spend together. I’ve made an effort to do so but feel like she hasn’t done the same.

We’re growing apart as well. Interests are diverging and we struggle to talk to each other about our own interests. Now when we’re together I don’t know how I feel anymore. I don’t know what to do to help me fall in love with her again or if I need to walk away from them and be done with it.

I (24 F) tend to get deeply absorbed into different things constantly, and I like to talk with my partner (25 M) about them, and I've reccently got glasses, and I showed them to him, and I continued to talk about the most reccent game I've gotten into, and he interrupted me mid-sentance and declared he had a type: femcels.
Now, he assured me it wasn't about my appreance, but he knows I have autism, and I would prefer it if I was not called an incel for talking about something special to me all the time. He knows I go outside, and he knows I'm doing everything I can to keep myself healthy (not that it's a problem), but he still keeps calling me that, and I feel slightly offended. I have asked him to stop, but he says it's just a compliment and he finds it adoable. I do not. Am I just being dramatic?

My girlfriend got a tattoo on her leg about a month ago it’s not very large maybe a little bigger than a half dollar. I cannot seem to get over it or stop thinking about it. I have always really disliked tattoos and found them very unattractive and distracting. I feel like I can’t think about how pretty she is without thinking about how much I dislike the tattoo and that I wish it wasn’t there, that she was prettier before it ect. She has explained the meaning behind it which is that it relates to her lifelong nickname and her favorite part about nature. We also discussed the possibility of her getting another, because she mentioned she might want one, but after seeing how I’m handling this she suggested that she wont get anymore as long as she has complete freedom with her hair. To which I agreed. I just worry this isn’t a healthy compromis, and I also feel I can’t look at her the same, all I see is the tattoo and how much I dislike it and how it hurt me when she got it. Before the tattoo we were discussing marriage but now Im not sure if I can marry someone that I can’t look at without thinking about how she could be prettier without the tattoo. I don’t know what to do, I don’t want to leave her, but I don’t know how to get over this and stop thinking about the tattoo. Any help is appreciate. How can I get over this tattoo or what should I do?

I’m a 33F dating a 42M and we’ve only been seeing each other for about 40 days, but it already feels emotionally exhausting and I can’t tell if I’m overreacting or seeing legitimate red flags.

From the beginning he’s been very insecure. He constantly says things like “I’m not good enough for you,” questions whether I really like him, and gets weird whenever I do normal social things with friends. There have already been multiple instances of him ghosting/silent treatment behavior when he feels insecure or threatened. He also got oddly intense about location sharing early on, which made me uncomfortable.

The confusing part is that he’s also very attentive in other ways. He buys me flowers every couple weeks, plans dates, wants to see me basically every day, and clearly likes me a lot. So part of me keeps wondering if he’s just emotionally wounded/anxious versus actually toxic.

But lately I’ve started realizing the relationship feels centered around HIS emotions constantly. He rarely asks what’s going on with me emotionally. Meanwhile, my life has actually been really stressful recently — my sister/best friend just moved 6 hours away so I suddenly feel very alone at home, and my dog has been having multiple seizures which has been terrifying and emotionally draining.

Instead of support, two days before HIS birthday he had another insecurity spiral and basically tried to break up with me during an emotional episode. I finally snapped and said “fine, let’s end it then.” Now he’s completely backtracking and acting like he didn’t mean it and wants to work it out.

I feel bad because I know insecurity can come from past hurt, but I’m also sitting here thinking… it’s been 40 DAYS. This already feels like so much emotional labor and instability this early on.

Would you consider this a major red flag? Or is this salvageable if someone is otherwise caring and consistent?

Hi reddit, well i'm writing to try gather same opinion on what to docnow with my GF.

Me M20 and F20. We met 8 months ago at school, love at first sight for both of us, got together 4 months later.

Since the beginning of relation we've gone out 6 times due to homework and pressure from her parents to only see each other at her really small apartment, 5-hour train ride from mine. Both in our first relationship. She brings up the topic of sex first. In 4 months i had fingered her 2 times, but never the other way around, i was okay with that because she told me she liked my care on her.

(In different occasion she got near to me but got scared to even get the hand close to do for me, one time for 1 whole hour she keep try even if i asked he to stop because i was really imbarazed)

All this time, I've been extremely alert for a not finished intercourse we almost had on Tuesday, due the fact that her dad came home from work (again i did for her but she dident for me) like every other time when i couldent sleep all night.

This morning I feel overwhelmed by babysitting her little brother for 3 days, never a moment alone, i tried to hide it, but the phrase "I'll have to jerk off more" slips out, referring to the fact that I don't want to ruin our time together with my unrequited desire.

I would never push her if she's not up to it and also talked her about this, but not about ALL the times this sensation hitted me in order not to guilt trip her. I realize I said something stupid, and when I try to correct myself, she tells me I need to talk to a specialist and i'm not normal.

She then goes to her bathroom to talk with her father bursting into tears while i hear the words "Toxic" and "Take a train".

From that moment on she sistematically avoided being alone to talk with me.

Come evening, I brought up the subject, ask if she wanted to talk about it. I give her my reasons and after three times asking hers she tells me to give her space and that I disgusted her.

I truly love this girl, more than anything else. I know I'm too emotional, and now feel like a monster, but I really want to keep beeing her safe place.

TL;DR After days of stress and hornyness i said i had to masturbate more in order not to be stressed around my gf, she said i'm not normal

After arguments he instigated or after he was mean to me, I expect him to make it up to me through being extra nice or just doing a Thoughtful gesture. Time has proven he’s not keen on even treating me like a princess after wronging me, and I just don’t see myself with a guy who can’t do that for me.
He told me making it up to me was a stupid concept and that couples should just go back to normal immediately, but my feelings prevent that. So now I’m wondering, do guys genuinely not want to/see the need to do some kind of “repair” first before things go back to normal?

My girlfriend and I love each other deeply and neither of us wants to lose the other, but our relationship has become emotionally painful for me. I feel completely stuck. Every time we talk lately, I end up hurt or overwhelmed, even though I still think she’s amazing and love everything about her.

I’m more future-focused while she tends to live in the present, and it feels like we want different things emotionally. I see other couples around me seeming happy and secure, and I can’t help but feel like our relationship doesn’t feel that way anymore no matter how hard I try to fix it or make it go back to how it used to be.

The biggest issue is that I genuinely feel unable to leave. People tell me I should walk away, but I physically cannot bring myself to end things because I love her so much and I don’t want to hurt her or leave her alone because of my decision. I’d rather suffer myself than make her suffer. At the same time, I don’t know how much longer I can keep living in this cycle because I feel emotionally exhausted all the time.

I don’t know whether this is a relationship worth fighting for or if we’re just holding onto each other because we’re scared to let go. I feel trapped between loving her deeply and feeling like the relationship is hurting me. I honestly don’t know how to move forward with or without her.

I just found out that my Gf had s*x with her ex in the past while we're at talking stage and uhm I need some thoughts about this one whether I should continue my commitment or just leave right away (I wasn't planning on leaving though I just need some thoughts) She told me about it recently I mean I still can't believe she told me about it

I (20f) found out one month ago today that my boyfriend (24m) had been cheating on me. I had never looked through any of my ex boyfriend’s phone, let alone his, but I had this weird feeling that something was wrong. He was kissing me less on the day I went to visit him, and when he did kiss me it just felt different. While he was napping I looked through his phone. I went to his instagram first to see if he had been dming any other girls. I didn’t find anything but when I went to his search I found a bunch of different girls. I am not an insecure person, I chalked it up to them being girls from his high school or something. I know I’ve looked up guys I’ve graduated with. I put his phone back and decided I shouldn’t be looking through his phone. I let it get to me and I looked through his phone again. I opened snap chat and realized he had been snapping at least 7 other girls. All the saved photos were naked pictures they had each sent back and forth. I looked at the dates and realized he had started snapping all of the girls starting on Tuesday (I found out that Sunday). I was sick to my stomach.

Skip to now, we are back together but I am really struggling with it. He has made many promises and changes. He stopped smoking weed, he got a therapist, he sends me a ss anytime he snaps someone who isn’t me, and he has started praying, attending church, and using writing and the gym as an output.

As the weeks have gone on I have felt a plethora of feelings. From anger, to sadness, helplessness, jealousy, numbness, resentment, I have felt it all. I want to forgive him because of everything we had before I found out. I am worried that this resentment will keep growing and I will hurt him. I’m not a hateful person and I don’t want to become one. Does anyone have any advice?

My partner 21F and myself 23M. I think some background context is important before I explain the relationship issues and I will be grateful for some opinion from others.

I’m from Hong Kong and my partner is white and quarter Asian. Since early in the relationship, her mum has been racist towards me, and honestly it has affected my mental health a lot. I’ve genuinely tried hard to make a good impression and show that I care about their family. For example, when her mum mentioned she didn’t feel safe having a random guy come help fix something, I bought her and my partner pepper spray so they could feel safer. During Black Friday, I also bought her mum an LG OLED 55-inch TV as a Christmas gift because I wanted to do something nice for her.

Despite all of that, I still feel treated like an outsider. What hurt the most was her mum assuming the worst about me — saying or implying that I’m only with her daughter for a green card and would ditch her afterwards. I’ve always told my partner I can build my own future and don’t need anyone for residency or anything like that, so hearing that really messed with me emotionally. My partner hasn’t told till 8 months later, she’s been saying that she will come around and she’s introvert.

On top of this, we’ve been arguing a lot over the past few weeks. Most arguments start from small issues, but we can never fully understand each other’s point of view. It usually becomes “agree to disagree” and then escalates. I also feel like there can be a bit of ego involved during arguments. For example, if I don’t apologise first, she usually won’t either, and when I say sorry she’ll then follow up with “I’m sorry too for…” afterwards. I’m afraid that she picked up a few of her mums bad traits.
A lot of the time she ends up crying during arguments, and then I feel horrible for even bringing up problems or speaking up about how I feel. I end up comforting her and apologising because I hate seeing her upset.

Today (Sunday), she asked for a one week break because she’s drained and tired of arguing everyday but I don’t we did argue every day just thought she’s exhausted. She said she still loves me and that she’ll come back to me after the break, but I honestly don’t understand the point of taking a break instead of working through problems together. I guess maybe I pushed her too hard trying to resolve things?

Another thing that makes this difficult for me is that we’ve been together for 1.5 years, she comes to my rental place most of the time, but I’ve only been invited to her family home for dinner about 3 times. That has also added to my feelings of frustration and not really being accepted.

I genuinely love her and want things to work, but I’m confused whether taking a break over constant arguments is healthy or if this is a sign of something deeper. Has anyone experienced something similar?

in a relationship 4 months [19M] [71F] backwards btw for me I was just wondering if guys ever regret leaving a girl. My ex got shot and he told me that talking to me is a big distraction and that he cannot become who he wants to be if he is constantly texting me , worrying me and thinking about me. He believes that a relationship will hold him back and yeah I understood that and I jist let him go but he wrote me a paragraph sayinv that im the perfect girl and that im pretty and stuff about my personality and I was just wondering if he would ever come back. Also before u flame me about wanting a guy who got shot…..I get it I really do but ill prob be moved on anyways. I know no one knows him and only him can say if he can come back but I just want to know my chances. ( I would move on regardless if hes coming back or not). He told me he had to cut me off as much as possible because if he doesnt he will become attached to me and he wont focus on growing.

Hi all. This might be a long and messy post, so please bear with me.

First of all, I’m a 24-year-old male working as an engineer. I’ve been living in another country for about 11 years now, and my whole career and life are here.

I had a rough childhood and was diagnosed with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). Despite that, I managed to push through college, graduated with honors, and now work as an engineer. I’m proud of that, but honestly, I’ve always struggled with relationships and connecting with people.

I’m giving this background because I think it’s important for understanding my situation.

At work, a girl joined around 4 months ago as an intern, and I was kind of her supervisor. I don’t really know how it happened, but I fell for her. Her personality, her laugh, the way she talked — everything about her felt charming to me.

The problem is that when I look at myself, I see someone who is always sad, angry, stressed, or depressed. That part is important.

There’s another coworker at my job who is about 3 years younger than me. He’s always energetic, smiling, positive, and easy to talk to.

The three of us used to go out after work sometimes for coffee or dinner. I genuinely tried to build a friendship with this girl because I truly liked her. But after some time, I noticed she became distant from me and started spending more time with this coworker — laughing with him, chatting more, going out together, etc.

To be clear, they are just friends. He already has a serious girlfriend, so I don’t think he was trying to flirt with her.

But when I realized she was becoming distant and sometimes even avoiding direct conversations with me, I became really sad. The only questions in my mind were:
“Why?”
“Am I not enough?”

Eventually, this situation started affecting me badly. I began having anxiety attacks at work and constantly overthinking everything. I ended up asking my coworkers honestly why things turned out this way.

Their answer shocked me.

They told me that I always seem depressed, angry, negative, and emotionally heavy. They said I rarely smile or laugh, and that this probably made her uncomfortable or pushed her away.

When I heard that, I started reflecting and realized they might be right.

The thing is, I know I’m a kind-hearted person. I genuinely care about people and want the best for everyone. But now I’m realizing that maybe being kind alone is not enough if your energy constantly feels negative to others.

This all happened about 2 weeks ago, and since then I’ve been drowning myself in alcohol and cigarettes. I barely eat anymore, and I’ve already lost 5 kg.

So my question is:
Is this true?

When someone is always sad, angry, complaining, or emotionally heavy, do people naturally distance themselves from that person? Or could this situation have been about something else entirely?

I really need advice right now.
I’m trying to understand myself better.

And if there’s anything missing from the story, feel free to ask. I’ll answer honestly.

I (32 F) lost my best friend of almost 20 years (33 F) 6 months ago to a murder suicide which orphaned her 3 children. My friend’s sister (29 F) graciously took all 3 children (ages 2,6, and 12) into her home on top of having her own two-year old.

The oldest (12 F) is having behavioral issues, such as having a major attitude, lying, being rude to her younger brother, not listening, being a mean girl at school, typical teenage behavior. My friend’s sister has been very gracious about it all given what the 12 year old has been through but I told her if she ever needed a break to send the 12 year old to spend a few days with me as we have a good relationship (I don’t live in the same city).

My husband (32 M) has put a boundary in that he doesn’t want her to stay with us. We live in a small two bedroom apartment and he doesn’t want her in his space and feels uncomfortable with the idea. He doesn’t understand why I think he is being unreasonable. Is he being unreasonable?

I've been with my boyfriend for a few years, he's always been very encouraging and supportive of my OF and content.

About 6 months I started collabing with a new guy. This guy is black and it's the first time I have done interracial content but it's done so well and my videos with this guy have been great.
With everything I do, I check with my boyfriend to make sure he is ok with what i'm doing. When I started filming with this new guy, he seemed fine with it and didn't really care.

A couple of months later, he started making comments about the videos and said I wasn't suited to interracial content and I should go back to doing other things. I said they were doing much better than anything I'd done before and we agreed that I would carry on with him.

Last week, I filmed a video with the guy, it was all good and we went for a drink at the bar down the road as we have done a few times before. My bf knows this and has been at the bar with is before too.

My bf went ballistic this time when I came home, accused me of having feelings for this guy and basically cheating on him. My bf has calmed down now but he still wants me to stop the content with him.

I don't know what to do. The videos with this guy have me so much money and I don't know why my bf would be this upset unless he was jealous or had an issue with me doing IR in general.