u/Accurate-Brush-987

me (18F) my ex (20m) and this guy named “Ian” (20m)

I genuinely don’t want this to sound like I’m trying to make everything about myself or excuse what I did. I know I was wrong for lying and I take full accountability for that. I just need unbiased opinions because everyone involved seems to have already picked a side, and I honestly don’t know what to think anymore and i’m in shambles.

My boyfriend/ex and I had been together long-distance for a while. Before this entire situation happened, he had been treating me pretty badly for months. He insulted me, called me names, and there were times where he would leave me crying by myself. Eventually I broke up with him and Ian was the one who helped me realize that my ex wasn’t a good person and he’s not shit.

The thing is, I never actually felt like I had moved on from my ex. I would literally be in a call with Ian and randomly start crying because I missed my ex. I told Ian and my close friend multiple times how much I missed him. Ian would tell me to remind myself of how bad my ex was and that I shouldn’t go back.
Ian and I were never officially together. I told him multiple times that we were nothing. At one point, after only a few days, Ian himself told me that he wouldn’t even consider me and my ex together anymore, because my ex and I went to no contact for 5 days, so I accepted that we were broken up/not a thing. I waited until MY EX reached out to break the news to him, he was hurt and tried to help me restart the relationship. but i got told i shouldn’t do that and i really regret listening to Ian

This is where things get complicated.

While my ex and I were completely broken up, Ian and I did become emotionally close. We called each other baby and crossed sexual boundaries over calls. I understand completely that looks like a relationship, and I’m not going to pretend it doesn’t.

But I genuinely never saw myself as being in a relationship with Ian. I never told him I wanted to be with him. I never committed to him. I even told him we were nothing. I was still thinking about my ex the entire time.

Eventually, I started thinking about contacting my ex again. I checked up on him and thought about whether I actually wanted to give him another chance. After a few calls and talking things through, I realized I might actually want to be with him again and try again.

I told my ex a lot about what happened with Ian, but I didn’t tell him about everything. Specifically, I didn’t tell him about the sexual stuff or that we had called each other names. At the time, I genuinely thought that because we had been completely broken up, what I did during that time was my own business. But looking back, I know I was also scared of telling him because I knew it would hurt him.

He eventually found out through other people that Ian is friends with including call logs and messages, and now he feels completely betrayed.

I understand why he’s hurt. I don’t want to sit here and say “we were broken up, so I did nothing wrong.” I think I absolutely did something wrong by lying and withholding it when we got back together. I should have been honest with him instead of deciding for him that knowing would only hurt him.

But at the same time, everyone is saying that what I did proves that I moved on from my ex and got with Ian and I got with my ex after me and Ian did something sexual and ian had backed off because he made a mistake and said i got attached but i told him myself that i never was attached like that, i just wanted the comfort and that’s what I don’t understand, everyone is on my ass about what i did but, in simplicity, i twisted words and lied. i get that. i never cheated.

If I had actually moved on, why was I repeatedly telling Ian that we were nothing? Why was I crying to him about missing my ex? Why was I thinking about my ex throughout the entire time? I tried to move on because the breakup was horrible, but I couldn’t.
I also felt emotionally pressured by Ian in certain situations. I don’t want to say I know what his intentions were, because I don’t. But there were moments where I felt like I couldn’t really say no because of how much I depended on him emotionally and because of everything else he had done for me. and honestly whatever my feelings were, are valid regardless of his intentions.

There were times I told him I was uncomfortable or embarrassed, and he kept bringing things up and wanting to see me when we did something sexual over the call but i didn’t, however he did show me himself and he himself kept stating how that turned him on more and kept mentioning it so i went with it.

Another thing that makes me uncomfortable is that Ian had been talking badly about my ex from the beginning. Earlier yesterday he started saying things like he thought we had something going on and he was okay with how we talked before and then asking if I had gotten back together with my ex. that same day, he had told me that my ex wasn’t shit and that I should move on. Then after finding out we were together again, in my eyes, i feel like he’s trying to get us to not get back together. my ex went to him and asked everyone, if they think it’s unforgivable and everyone said no and it hurts because part of me feels like they’re only saying that to get us to split apart.

That’s part of why I eventually wanted Ian and his friend group completely out of our lives and to be blocked and removed.

Now there is also that whole friend group involved. My ex made a group chat to talk about everything, and people were sending him screenshots and call logs. I feel like everyone is defending Ian because they’re all friends with him. Two people in the group even basically said that they don’t care about the situation and just want to protect Ian.

That makes it extremely hard for me because I feel like nobody is trying to understand the situation at all, it feels like everyone is against me for my mistake which i took accountability for. They hold me accountable for what I did, but nobody seems to have held Ian accountable for his part in any of this.

I also understand why my ex is upset because I previously told him how I felt about being cheated on/betrayed, and now he feels like I did something similar to him. But I don’t believe I cheated because we were completely broken up. I do believe I betrayed his trust by lying afterward.

And I don’t want to use what my ex did to me as an excuse either. He didn’t treat me the best for months, but that doesn’t make my actions automatically okay. I can acknowledge that he hurt me and still acknowledge that I hurt him.

The part I’m struggling with now is whether this relationship can actually be repaired.
At one point my ex said that if everything was true, we could “never ever be something ever again.” But later, when he was talking with everyone, he apparently said to the friend group , he doesn’t know what he’s going to do. So I don’t know if that means there’s still a chance or if he’s just trying to process everything.

I want him to be happy, and if he genuinely doesn’t want to be with me anymore, I don’t want to force him to stay. But I also really want the opportunity to work through this because I gave him another chance after everything that happened between us.
I know I can’t expect him to forgive me just because I forgave him. I know forgiveness isn’t something someone owes you. I just wish he could understand that I never intended to replace him with Ian, and that I was genuinely struggling after our breakup.

so, please be brutally honest with me.

Was I wrong? How much of this is actually my fault? Was I wrong for what happened with Ian even though my ex and I were broken up, or is the bigger issue that I lied about it afterward? Is it fair for my ex to feel betrayed? And do you think there’s any realistic way for us to repair this relationship, considering that he had also treated me badly before the breakup? I gave my ex a chance to redeem himself and built that trust again, and maybe selfishly i truly hope he can forgive me.

me (18F) my ex (20m) and this guy named “Ian” (20m)

I genuinely don’t want this to sound like I’m trying to make everything about myself or excuse what I did. I know I was wrong for lying and I take full accountability for that. I just need unbiased opinions because everyone involved seems to have already picked a side, and I honestly don’t know what to think anymore and i’m in shambles.

My boyfriend/ex and I had been together long-distance for a while. Before this entire situation happened, he had been treating me pretty badly for months. He insulted me, called me names, and there were times where he would leave me crying by myself. Eventually I broke up with him and Ian was the one who helped me realize that my ex wasn’t a good person and he’s not shit.

The thing is, I never actually felt like I had moved on from my ex. I would literally be in a call with Ian and randomly start crying because I missed my ex. I told Ian and my close friend multiple times how much I missed him. Ian would tell me to remind myself of how bad my ex was and that I shouldn’t go back.
Ian and I were never officially together. I told him multiple times that we were nothing. At one point, after only a few days, Ian himself told me that he wouldn’t even consider me and my ex together anymore, because my ex and I went to no contact for 5 days, so I accepted that we were broken up/not a thing. I waited until MY EX reached out to break the news to him, he was hurt and tried to help me restart the relationship. but i got told i shouldn’t do that and i really regret listening to Ian

This is where things get complicated.

While my ex and I were completely broken up, Ian and I did become emotionally close. We called each other baby and crossed sexual boundaries over calls. I understand completely that looks like a relationship, and I’m not going to pretend it doesn’t.

But I genuinely never saw myself as being in a relationship with Ian. I never told him I wanted to be with him. I never committed to him. I even told him we were nothing. I was still thinking about my ex the entire time.

Eventually, I started thinking about contacting my ex again. I checked up on him and thought about whether I actually wanted to give him another chance. After a few calls and talking things through, I realized I might actually want to be with him again and try again.

I told my ex a lot about what happened with Ian, but I didn’t tell him about everything. Specifically, I didn’t tell him about the sexual stuff or that we had called each other names. At the time, I genuinely thought that because we had been completely broken up, what I did during that time was my own business. But looking back, I know I was also scared of telling him because I knew it would hurt him.

He eventually found out through other people that Ian is friends with including call logs and messages, and now he feels completely betrayed.

I understand why he’s hurt. I don’t want to sit here and say “we were broken up, so I did nothing wrong.” I think I absolutely did something wrong by lying and withholding it when we got back together. I should have been honest with him instead of deciding for him that knowing would only hurt him.

But at the same time, everyone is saying that what I did proves that I moved on from my ex and got with Ian and I got with my ex after me and Ian did something sexual and ian had backed off because he made a mistake and said i got attached but i told him myself that i never was attached like that, i just wanted the comfort and that’s what I don’t understand, everyone is on my ass about what i did but, in simplicity, i twisted words and lied. i get that. i never cheated.

If I had actually moved on, why was I repeatedly telling Ian that we were nothing? Why was I crying to him about missing my ex? Why was I thinking about my ex throughout the entire time? I tried to move on because the breakup was horrible, but I couldn’t.
I also felt emotionally pressured by Ian in certain situations. I don’t want to say I know what his intentions were, because I don’t. But there were moments where I felt like I couldn’t really say no because of how much I depended on him emotionally and because of everything else he had done for me. and honestly whatever my feelings were, are valid regardless of his intentions.

There were times I told him I was uncomfortable or embarrassed, and he kept bringing things up and wanting to see me when we did something sexual over the call but i didn’t, however he did show me himself and he himself kept stating how that turned him on more and kept mentioning it so i went with it.

Another thing that makes me uncomfortable is that Ian had been talking badly about my ex from the beginning. Earlier yesterday he started saying things like he thought we had something going on and he was okay with how we talked before and then asking if I had gotten back together with my ex. that same day, he had told me that my ex wasn’t shit and that I should move on. Then after finding out we were together again, in my eyes, i feel like he’s trying to get us to not get back together. my ex went to him and asked everyone, if they think it’s unforgivable and everyone said no and it hurts because part of me feels like they’re only saying that to get us to split apart.

That’s part of why I eventually wanted Ian and his friend group completely out of our lives and to be blocked and removed.

Now there is also that whole friend group involved. My ex made a group chat to talk about everything, and people were sending him screenshots and call logs. I feel like everyone is defending Ian because they’re all friends with him. Two people in the group even basically said that they don’t care about the situation and just want to protect Ian.

That makes it extremely hard for me because I feel like nobody is trying to understand the situation at all, it feels like everyone is against me for my mistake which i took accountability for. They hold me accountable for what I did, but nobody seems to have held Ian accountable for his part in any of this.

I also understand why my ex is upset because I previously told him how I felt about being cheated on/betrayed, and now he feels like I did something similar to him. But I don’t believe I cheated because we were completely broken up. I do believe I betrayed his trust by lying afterward.

And I don’t want to use what my ex did to me as an excuse either. He didn’t treat me the best for months, but that doesn’t make my actions automatically okay. I can acknowledge that he hurt me and still acknowledge that I hurt him.

The part I’m struggling with now is whether this relationship can actually be repaired.
At one point my ex said that if everything was true, we could “never ever be something ever again.” But later, when he was talking with everyone, he apparently said to the friend group , he doesn’t know what he’s going to do. So I don’t know if that means there’s still a chance or if he’s just trying to process everything.

I want him to be happy, and if he genuinely doesn’t want to be with me anymore, I don’t want to force him to stay. But I also really want the opportunity to work through this because I gave him another chance after everything that happened between us.
I know I can’t expect him to forgive me just because I forgave him. I know forgiveness isn’t something someone owes you. I just wish he could understand that I never intended to replace him with Ian, and that I was genuinely struggling after our breakup.

so, please be brutally honest with me.

Was I wrong? How much of this is actually my fault? Was I wrong for what happened with Ian even though my ex and I were broken up, or is the bigger issue that I lied about it afterward? Is it fair for my ex to feel betrayed? And do you think there’s any realistic way for us to repair this relationship, considering that he had also treated me badly before the breakup? I gave my ex a chance to redeem himself and built that trust again, and maybe selfishly i truly hope he can forgive me.

Alright… so this is probably going to sound dumb, but I (18F) and my long-distance boyfriend (20M) had something happen today that’s been bothering me way more than I thought it would.

My boyfriend works full-time, five days a week, and I really do understand that he’s exhausted after work. I genuinely try not to nag him because I know he wants to come home and relax and not be bothered by an annoying gf..

Tonight he got home and joined a Discord call with his friends. We’re all in the same server, and so I joined too. I don’t really talk because they’re more his friends than mine but I was honestly just there because I wanted to be around him.
Around the middle of the night, I asked him if we could play a game together after he was done. I’ve been wanting to play with him for a while, and he said, “Of course.”
So I waited.
I didn’t tell him to hurry up or ask him to leave his friends. I stayed in the call for hours while they played and talked. Eventually they weren’t even really playing anymore and they were mostly just there talking and messing around but I still didn’t interrupt because I wanted him to enjoy his time with his friends…

Every so often I’d ask something like, “Can we play now?” because he’d already said yes.
They were in the call for like 4-5 hours
When he finally left, he moved us into a private call. I got excited because I thought we were finally going to play together and i asked him.

Instead, he got off Discord on his PC, joined on his phone, got into bed, and told me he was sorry but he was too tired and had lost track of time.
I completely understand losing track of time. That happens.

I also dont know if this is just built up resentment from everything else because even i was shocked i was getting so upset over a game but i think its deeper than that.

But what hurt me was that I stayed awake for hours because he told me we’d play and it obviously speaks volume when i texted him to play and he said ofc, i KNEW he would say/do that. id bet money on it too. If he had just told me earlier that he was too tired, I would’ve gone to bed instead of waiting.
This also isn’t the only thing that’s been bothering me.
Over the past few months, I’ve noticed he gradually puts in less effort than he used to.
When we first started talking, he would
\\\\\\\\-Watch and respond to every TikTok or Reel I sent.
\\\\\\\\-Open my Snaps without me reminding him.
\\\\\\\\-Ask me to play games together.
\\\\\\\\-Let me choose games sometimes.
Put more effort into spending one on one time together.
Now I have to remind him to open my Snaps, remind him to watch my TikToks or Instagram Reels, and even then he’ll sometimes go weeks without looking at them. Meanwhile, I always watch and respond to the things he sends me as soon as I can.
His explanation is usually that he’s busy or forgot because of work, and I honestly believe him. I’m not expecting instant replies and i know people have jobs and their own lives.
But at the same time, I feel like I shouldn’t have to constantly remind my own boyfriend to look at things I send him.
Sometimes it feels like the only effort he really puts in now is calling me and telling me he loves me, which I absolutely do appreciate. We still have conversations and talk every day.
I just miss the little things.
I miss when he’d ask \\\\\\\*me\\\\\\\* to play games and me only, i absolutely loved when it was us two together.
I miss when he’d watch the videos I sent because he wanted to.

I know the beginning of relationships is usually different, and I know people call it the “honeymoon phase.” He says he doesn’t believe in that, and maybe he genuinely feels like nothing has changed. But from my perspective, it feels like the effort has slowly faded over the past few months.
I also struggle with overthinking and insecurity, and I’ve had similar feelings in previous relationships, so I’m trying to be self-aware. I genuinely don’t know if I’m seeing a real pattern or if I’m letting my anxiety convince me something is wrong.

im not someone who will not take accountability, if its my fault i’d like to be known it is. but i genuinely cant see what im at fault for.. i needed help to structure my text cause im crying at 7 am so bad and need outside thoughts.. so sorry

Alright… so this is probably going to sound dumb, but I (18F) and my long-distance boyfriend (20M) had something happen today that’s been bothering me way more than I thought it would.

My boyfriend works full-time, five days a week, and I really do understand that he’s exhausted after work. I genuinely try not to nag him because I know he wants to come home and relax and not be bothered by an annoying gf..

Tonight he got home and joined a Discord call with his friends. We’re all in the same server, and so I joined too. I don’t really talk because they’re more his friends than mine but I was honestly just there because I wanted to be around him.
Around the middle of the night, I asked him if we could play a game together after he was done. I’ve been wanting to play with him for a while, and he said, “Of course.”
So I waited.
I didn’t tell him to hurry up or ask him to leave his friends. I stayed in the call for hours while they played and talked. Eventually they weren’t even really playing anymore and they were mostly just there talking and messing around but I still didn’t interrupt because I wanted him to enjoy his time with his friends…

Every so often I’d ask something like, “Can we play now?” because he’d already said yes.
They were in the call for like 4-5 hours
When he finally left, he moved us into a private call. I got excited because I thought we were finally going to play together and i asked him.

Instead, he got off Discord on his PC, joined on his phone, got into bed, and told me he was sorry but he was too tired and had lost track of time.
I completely understand losing track of time. That happens.

I also dont know if this is just built up resentment from everything else because even i was shocked i was getting so upset over a game but i think its deeper than that.

But what hurt me was that I stayed awake for hours because he told me we’d play and it obviously speaks volume when i texted him to play and he said ofc, i KNEW he would say/do that. id bet money on it too. If he had just told me earlier that he was too tired, I would’ve gone to bed instead of waiting.
This also isn’t the only thing that’s been bothering me.
Over the past few months, I’ve noticed he gradually puts in less effort than he used to.
When we first started talking, he would
\\\\-Watch and respond to every TikTok or Reel I sent.
\\\\-Open my Snaps without me reminding him.
\\\\-Ask me to play games together.
\\\\-Let me choose games sometimes.
Put more effort into spending one on one time together.
Now I have to remind him to open my Snaps, remind him to watch my TikToks or Instagram Reels, and even then he’ll sometimes go weeks without looking at them. Meanwhile, I always watch and respond to the things he sends me as soon as I can.
His explanation is usually that he’s busy or forgot because of work, and I honestly believe him. I’m not expecting instant replies and i know people have jobs and their own lives.
But at the same time, I feel like I shouldn’t have to constantly remind my own boyfriend to look at things I send him.
Sometimes it feels like the only effort he really puts in now is calling me and telling me he loves me, which I absolutely do appreciate. We still have conversations and talk every day.
I just miss the little things.
I miss when he’d ask \\\*me\\\* to play games and me only, i absolutely loved when it was us two together.
I miss when he’d watch the videos I sent because he wanted to.

I know the beginning of relationships is usually different, and I know people call it the “honeymoon phase.” He says he doesn’t believe in that, and maybe he genuinely feels like nothing has changed. But from my perspective, it feels like the effort has slowly faded over the past few months.
I also struggle with overthinking and insecurity, and I’ve had similar feelings in previous relationships, so I’m trying to be self-aware. I genuinely don’t know if I’m seeing a real pattern or if I’m letting my anxiety convince me something is wrong.

im not someone who will not take accountability, if its my fault i’d like to be known it is. but i genuinely cant see what im at fault for.. i needed help to structure my text cause im crying at 7 am so bad and need outside thoughts.. so sorry

Alright… so this is probably going to sound dumb, but I (18F) and my long-distance boyfriend (20M) had something happen today that’s been bothering me way more than I thought it would.

My boyfriend works full-time, five days a week, and I really do understand that he’s exhausted after work. I genuinely try not to nag him because I know he wants to come home and relax and not be bothered by an annoying gf..

Tonight he got home and joined a Discord call with his friends. We’re all in the same server, and so I joined too. I don’t really talk because they’re more his friends than mine but I was honestly just there because I wanted to be around him.
Around the middle of the night, I asked him if we could play a game together after he was done. I’ve been wanting to play with him for a while, and he said, “Of course.”
So I waited.
I didn’t tell him to hurry up or ask him to leave his friends. I stayed in the call for hours while they played and talked. Eventually they weren’t even really playing anymore and they were mostly just there talking and messing around but I still didn’t interrupt because I wanted him to enjoy his time with his friends…

Every so often I’d ask something like, “Can we play now?” because he’d already said yes.
They were in the call for like 4-5 hours
When he finally left, he moved us into a private call. I got excited because I thought we were finally going to play together and i asked him.

Instead, he got off Discord on his PC, joined on his phone, got into bed, and told me he was sorry but he was too tired and had lost track of time.
I completely understand losing track of time. That happens.

I also dont know if this is just built up resentment from everything else because even i was shocked i was getting so upset over a game but i think its deeper than that.

But what hurt me was that I stayed awake for hours because he told me we’d play and it obviously speaks volume when i texted him to play and he said ofc, i KNEW he would say/do that. id bet money on it too. If he had just told me earlier that he was too tired, I would’ve gone to bed instead of waiting.
This also isn’t the only thing that’s been bothering me.
Over the past few months, I’ve noticed he gradually puts in less effort than he used to.
When we first started talking, he would
\\-Watch and respond to every TikTok or Reel I sent.
\\-Open my Snaps without me reminding him.
\\-Ask me to play games together.
\\-Let me choose games sometimes.
Put more effort into spending one on one time together.
Now I have to remind him to open my Snaps, remind him to watch my TikToks or Instagram Reels, and even then he’ll sometimes go weeks without looking at them. Meanwhile, I always watch and respond to the things he sends me as soon as I can.
His explanation is usually that he’s busy or forgot because of work, and I honestly believe him. I’m not expecting instant replies and i know people have jobs and their own lives.
But at the same time, I feel like I shouldn’t have to constantly remind my own boyfriend to look at things I send him.
Sometimes it feels like the only effort he really puts in now is calling me and telling me he loves me, which I absolutely do appreciate. We still have conversations and talk every day.
I just miss the little things.
I miss when he’d ask \*me\* to play games and me only, i absolutely loved when it was us two together.
I miss when he’d watch the videos I sent because he wanted to.

I know the beginning of relationships is usually different, and I know people call it the “honeymoon phase.” He says he doesn’t believe in that, and maybe he genuinely feels like nothing has changed. But from my perspective, it feels like the effort has slowly faded over the past few months.
I also struggle with overthinking and insecurity, and I’ve had similar feelings in previous relationships, so I’m trying to be self-aware. I genuinely don’t know if I’m seeing a real pattern or if I’m letting my anxiety convince me something is wrong.

im not someone who will not take accountability, if its my fault i’d like to be known it is. but i genuinely cant see what im at fault for.. i needed help to structure my text cause im crying at 7 am so bad and need outside thoughts.. so sorry

Alright… so this is probably going to sound dumb, but I (18F) and my long-distance boyfriend (20M) had something happen today that’s been bothering me way more than I thought it would.

My boyfriend works full-time, five days a week, and I really do understand that he’s exhausted after work. I genuinely try not to nag him because I know he wants to come home and relax and not be bothered by an annoying gf..

Tonight he got home and joined a Discord call with his friends. We’re all in the same server, and so I joined too. I don’t really talk because they’re more his friends than mine but I was honestly just there because I wanted to be around him.
Around the middle of the night, I asked him if we could play a game together after he was done. I’ve been wanting to play with him for a while, and he said, “Of course.”
So I waited.
I didn’t tell him to hurry up or ask him to leave his friends. I stayed in the call for hours while they played and talked. Eventually they weren’t even really playing anymore and they were mostly just there talking and messing around but I still didn’t interrupt because I wanted him to enjoy his time with his friends…

Every so often I’d ask something like, “Can we play now?” because he’d already said yes.
They were in the call for like 4-5 hours
When he finally left, he moved us into a private call. I got excited because I thought we were finally going to play together and i asked him.

Instead, he got off Discord on his PC, joined on his phone, got into bed, and told me he was sorry but he was too tired and had lost track of time.
I completely understand losing track of time. That happens.

I also dont know if this is just built up resentment from everything else because even i was shocked i was getting so upset over a game but i think its deeper than that.

But what hurt me was that I stayed awake for hours because he told me we’d play and it obviously speaks volume when i texted him to play and he said ofc, i KNEW he would say/do that. id bet money on it too. If he had just told me earlier that he was too tired, I would’ve gone to bed instead of waiting.
This also isn’t the only thing that’s been bothering me.
Over the past few months, I’ve noticed he gradually puts in less effort than he used to.
When we first started talking, he would
\\-Watch and respond to every TikTok or Reel I sent.
\\-Open my Snaps without me reminding him.
\\-Ask me to play games together.
\\-Let me choose games sometimes.
Put more effort into spending one on one time together.
Now I have to remind him to open my Snaps, remind him to watch my TikToks or Instagram Reels, and even then he’ll sometimes go weeks without looking at them. Meanwhile, I always watch and respond to the things he sends me as soon as I can.
His explanation is usually that he’s busy or forgot because of work, and I honestly believe him. I’m not expecting instant replies and i know people have jobs and their own lives.
But at the same time, I feel like I shouldn’t have to constantly remind my own boyfriend to look at things I send him.
Sometimes it feels like the only effort he really puts in now is calling me and telling me he loves me, which I absolutely do appreciate. We still have conversations and talk every day.
I just miss the little things.
I miss when he’d ask \*me\* to play games and me only, i absolutely loved when it was us two together.
I miss when he’d watch the videos I sent because he wanted to.

I know the beginning of relationships is usually different, and I know people call it the “honeymoon phase.” He says he doesn’t believe in that, and maybe he genuinely feels like nothing has changed. But from my perspective, it feels like the effort has slowly faded over the past few months.
I also struggle with overthinking and insecurity, and I’ve had similar feelings in previous relationships, so I’m trying to be self-aware. I genuinely don’t know if I’m seeing a real pattern or if I’m letting my anxiety convince me something is wrong.

im not someone who will not take accountability, if its my fault i’d like to be known it is. but i genuinely cant see what im at fault for.. i needed help to structure my text cause im crying at 7 am so bad and need outside thoughts.. so sorry