r/boyfriends

my bf[17M] has wanted me [17F]for over a year, started dating two months ago and when we are together in real life everything's totally amazing but when we text, it feels like he doesn't wanna talk to me much. i know its silly and might seem immature but consistency is key to me. he's a sweet guy though. also i've never noticed any girls in his phone, i have his password and could go through his phone if i wanted although i dont, i trust him it just bothers me a lot

Why do I have so scared that my boyfriend is going to leave me even thought he reassures me all the time that he would never do that? He’s never given me a reason to believe he would either. Normally, it would stem from being left in the past, but I don’t think I’ve ever necessarily been abandoned by anyone before.
I guess it probably stems from insecurity maybe? I don’t really feel THAT upset about how I look, and he always compliments me and acts as if I’m the most beautiful.
I’ve read other posts like this and the replies say to get therapy but I don’t know I feel like this is kind of just wired into me for no good reason. I’m 18F, and my boyfriend 19M have been dating for 6 month’s. Any advice or thoughts?

My bf (26m) and I (27f) have been together for 2 years now and we have a little one. I am at fault for not knowing better at the time, and moving quickly with this person. I knew him for 5 months before being official, I got pregnant 2 months into being together. Throughout my pregnancy I was repulsed by him, I didn’t find attractive physically and mentally. I found him to be really immature, not that smart, overly jealous, and not funny. I thought this was my hormones, a few other women have told me they’ve experienced this and then went back to loving their partners after giving birth. Fast-forward, I don’t feel repulsed but I still don’t find him attractive. I think most of it has to do with what kind of person he is. He is a mama’s boy so he cares more about what his mom thinks thank anything it feels even if it has to do with being there for our baby, he doesn’t do much around the place unless I ask him to, he doesn’t spend quality time with our baby, he cares more about what his parents and siblings think than anything so he doesn’t stand up to them as much, he doesn’t care about his hygiene, he doesn’t want to go out much and mainly like to watch tv, smokes, and drinks. Im more motivated, disciplined, outgoing, and positive. He makes me cringe with the things he says. He’s either extremely cocky or super insecure, no in between. I’m only with him for our baby, and I find that my love life will never get better because I don’t actually find the person I had a baby with attractive. I’m getting older, I want our baby to be with both parents - at least for her first few years.

Me [20F] and my boyfriend [21M] are in a relationship of 6 years. Yes, I was 14 when we started dating but it’s completely legal in our country so you don’t have to worry about that.
We obviously have had some up’s and down’s throughout our relationship but we managed to overcome them and we make a really great couple. We barely argue, we share a lot of points of interest and have such a strong bond between each other. Also, we both have high libido so our sexual life is truly awesome.
The only problem is, my boyfriend always worries about him not satisfying me enough. He says that he wishes his pp was bigger, and that he could last longer. And if he was small I would understand his concerns, but this man has nothing to be ashamed of. To be honest, he is so big that in some positions it gets painful for me. And I have already told him, multiple times, that I genuinely find him perfect and I am 100% satisfied with everything going on between us. Yes, sometimes he finishes fast, but I HONESTLY prefer sex happening more often than it being longer.
Constant reassuring him become exhausting and annoying. I genuinely don’t know where his concerns came from, we were both our first and only sexual partner, so I know he never was made fun of by another person. He used to watch porn, so maybe that’s where he learnt unrealistic standards for sex. I want him to feel comfortable in his own body, but c’mon, how many times can I tell him that his dick is big af, and I was never dissapointed by him. What can I do to make him feel better? Cause I’m truly running out of ideas.
Sorry for a lengthy post but I need serious help </3

&#x200B;

Hi guys,

I've (34F), been in a relationship with my partner (34M) for 13 years.

I fired up my boyfriend's pc today to download a game, and WhatsApp desktop loaded up on the screen. At first, there were 4 unread conversations. I caught a glimpse of one of them, and it started with "Hey baby,". I didn't catch the rest or manage to open it, as it disappeared in a split second, then there were only 3 unread convos on display.

Be straight up honest with me guys. That's a locked chat that shouldn't have been viewable but for some reason it was for a second, isn't it? And if it is, that means he doesn't want me to see it. Seeing as it started with "Hey baby", I'm assuming he's seeing someone else.

My boyfriend calls me beep bop as a term of endearment. this started months ago because it was once used as an insult instead of using a bad/negative word. is this wholesome, or should he change my nickname?

what do you think guys? is this normal?

Long story short, my bf M22 and I F20 just had our 1 year yesterday and I got him a couple nice things and made a cute photo frame of us and he loved it and I’m glad…..

He got me nothing, he gave me a something for my car bc he got an upgrade and I have his old one, and a photo frame that was a joke… he sometimes takes bad photos of me he just put those Ina frame 🫠 that’s what he gave me

I get he was a bit short on money which like I under stand but he could have got soemthing super cheap and still Romantic, we didn’t do anything he just went gym with his friend and I was just upset and tired from work I went to sleep that’s it day over

Good to know he thinks it’s a joke yk atleast he got a laugh out of it 😃 but i honestly don’t know what to think rn, i feel upset but shouldn’t be like it’s probs not a big deal and he’s usually so good like with these things but ig this time he just didn’t care that much ???

Hi. I (19F) and my bf (19M) have been dating for around 6 months now.
We started talking late last year, but we’ve known each other since kindergarten. Long story, but we ended up rekindling years later and hit it off. He’s currently studying abroad so we’re doing long distance, it’s been about a month since I’ve last seen him.
Thing is, long distance isn’t my problem, I think it’s the fact that we’re not as compatible as I thought we would be. Don’t get me wrong, he is amazing. He’s kind, he’s caring, he asks me questions about my interests and genuinely wants to know and learn about them, he watches the movies I recommend and reads the books I recommend too, he opens doors for me, he’s very reassuring (maybe a little too reassuring—I’ll come back to that), and overall such a sweet and loving guy.
For some background, I’ve never been in a relationship before. I know I’m very young, but I still have somewhat big expectations for who I end up with. My parents split and I grew up with my mom while I only saw my dad once a year since he lives in a different country. My dad isn’t really a “man”, in my opinion. He lacks confidence and character, and has set a blueprint for what I don’t want in a boyfriend.
My bf is very very very nice, which also means he hates confrontation. I, on the other hand, love confrontation and think it’s crucial in life. He’s somewhat of a quiet guy and keeps to himself. I’m also kinda the opposite of that.
This might be stupid and childish, but he doesn’t feel like someone I could rely on for the far future. I know people change, especially since we’re so young, but do people grow out of this? Is it even fair for me to want him to change? For me to want him to be more “manly” or just tweak everything about him until it meets my expectations?
He goes out with 4 girls, I’m not jealous because I 100% trust him, but doesn’t that raise a few questions about him? My friends have straight up asked me if he’s bi or gay, go figure.
It’s also really really small stuff that irk me. He says I love you a LOT, which might just be odd to me because I’m not a words of affirmation gal at all. But also he’s trapped us in his own comfort zone. He uses the same phrases and responses over and over, he has the same comments every time I talk about anything. I feel like I’m talking to a programmed robot, I can predict 100% of what he says to me sometimes, it’s getting too repetitive. I feel stuck.
I’m Arab, if that makes any difference, and I don’t fancy dating for fun. I don’t wanna lead him on because he could be the perfect guy for someone, I’m just not quite sure it’s me.
Is it selfish of me to want to keep him because of his good traits and hope he changes in the future? Probably, but I’m just lost and I don’t know what to do.

My bf and I will have been dating for 8 months by the end of this month. I know he has Facebook and Instagram, but he has mentioned to me before that he feels like he’s a year away from getting rid of social media since he doesn’t use it often. In my past, I’m used to the guy finding my socials and adding me, but he never did that, and I never bothered to myself.

We just have each other’s numbers obviously, and WhatsApp and that’s it. On the rare occasion, he might send me a reel by sharing it through text, but this has only happened twice. It doesn’t concern me too much but I have been wondering if I should find this strange or not. This is the longest relationship I’ve been in and otherwise things are going well.

I’m 22F and my boyfriend is 24M. We’ve been together for about 8 months and I genuinely love him and believe that he loves and cares about me. I’m not looking to break up with him and honestly the thought of it makes me really sad. I want this relationship to work.

But something has been bothering me more and more, and I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable.

I’ve noticed that my boyfriend repeatedly likes posts from women that are very sexualized/bikini/thirst-trap type posts. At first I thought maybe I was just being insecure, so I tried not to care. But I’ve now noticed a pattern.

For example, there’s one female guitarist he follows. Her profile is mostly guitar/music content, but I noticed that he has liked multiple bikini posts of hers while I don’t see him liking her guitar content. I’ve also found several other women where the posts he liked were specifically bikini/revealing pictures.

Some of these are smaller creators, not just celebrities.
What bothers me is the selectiveness. I honestly wouldn’t care nearly as much if he liked a celebrity’s posts generally, or if he liked someone’s content because he genuinely follows them as a creator. I also don’t have an issue with him liking his female friends’ posts because they’re his friends.

It’s specifically the repeated pattern of liking sexualized pictures of women he doesn’t know that makes me uncomfortable.

I’m not saying he’s cheating or that liking a picture automatically means he wants the woman. I know that a like is just a like. But I can’t help feeling like, if someone repeatedly chooses to like the bikini/revealing post while ignoring the other content, then part of the reason is probably that they find the woman attractive.

And honestly, that hurts me.
There are also some other things that have been making me question the balance of our relationship. I’m usually the one writing long month-anniversary messages, making videos, initiating games, planning dates, supporting him with his uni, buying gifts/food, and I’ve even helped him financially when he was struggling. There have been periods where his uni was so overwhelming that we barely talked for up to two weeks, although we did have check-ins.

I don’t necessarily think he’s a bad boyfriend. He has been under a lot of stress with his uni graduation, and I genuinely believe he loves me. But sometimes I feel like I’m putting significantly more active effort into the relationship.

So now the Instagram thing is hitting a nerve.
I keep thinking, “I give this relationship so much. Why does he also need to actively engage with sexualized pictures of random women?”

I don’t want to be controlling. I don’t want to tell him he can’t have female friends or that he can never find another woman attractive. I just don’t feel comfortable with my boyfriend repeatedly liking sexualized posts from women he doesn’t know.

\*\*TL;DR; : This is a sample summary of the TLDR rule, all things are bold. Is this going the right way?\*\*.

28F 26M, in a relationship for 1 year. Have known each other on/off since 2017, got to know each other better april last year.

We are in a long distance relationship. We used to see 2-3 times in a month for a few days. This summer he suggested that we should see once in a month for two weeks at a time.

He has been nitpicking me since this spring. It started by him occasionally taking one word out of my sentence, ignoring the whole sentence and argue of that one word. I learnt how to ignore that type of behavior and everything went ok.

We have had some struggling with intimacy. Either of us is good with initiating intimacy. In the beginning we had sex for almost every day. Suddenly he pulled back and at one point he only wanted sex once in a week. He had some excuses for it, but i dont think he was honest.

Everytime i try to initiate intimacy, he rejects me.

Now the situation has gotten real bad.

He nitpicks literally anything i say. I cant talk about ANYTHING without him hung up on one word.

Even if i talk about some childhood experience - he has something he knows better, even though we didn't even know each other back then. He was not even in a same place. Still he knows better what kind of bug i saw when i was 13.

He takes one word and wants to argue because of it. I cant tell my opinions, thoughts, experiences, anything anymore. I am too exhausted to getting into an argument because i said something meaningless.

If i explain things shortly - he kinda purposely misunderstands something to create an argument.

If i explain things very detailed and long to avoid misunderstanding - he stops me from speaking, literally hushes me and raises his voice saying "shhhh, hush, yeah i heard you hush, yes i understood, please you dont have to explain every one little thing". If i answer saying that i thought i was allowed to talk, he says "yeah well nobody is actually banning it from you."

Everything i do is somehow wrong. I accidentally used phonecharger wrong, organised his drinks wrong (i havent even heard about one spesific order to them), i cleaned the kitchen wrong, i use words wrong because i use them differently, i cooked wrong, i made opinions on groceries wrong, i take care of my pets wrong, i looked at his cat wrong, i pet his cat wrong.

He even comments my meal sizes knowing i am trying to heal of eating disorder. He also commented that i am eating my bread wrong time, because he was at work meanwhile (we did not plan to eat that hecking bread together.)

I havent heard anything nice about me for who knows how long. I only get negative feedback daily, multiple times a day. I told him it does not feel nice to hear only negative things about being complete failure all the time, or to be critisized all the time.

He said its just fully innocent statement.

I just feel like he hates me. I asked him about it and said he acts weird. He says he wants to be with me and that he loves me. But i dont feel like it, not at all.

He is not cheating, i am 99% sure. This is something else.

[24F] [26M-] dating 2 years

Im at home with our 4 month old baby.
My man calls me from work and asks about our day.
I tell him what I’m doing and also tell him I’ve had a migraine all day
He proceeds to say that I sound fine….
I’m instantly annoyed because why is he questioning my migraine.
I say OK Im done talking to you. Goodbye.
He gets upset saying “and you say I’m sensitive”asking me why I’m so sensitive. Why do you wanna leave
I said bc you’re questioning my migraine. why would I lie?
He says I don’t know you’re doing everything like normal … i thought migraines are extreme. Like are you sensitive to light?
so what am I supposed to cry Because I have a migraine?
Like am I valid for getting upset over him questioning me? And what does this mean?
Like if I said I have a headache would it even make a difference?

i am [18F] and my bf is **[20M]**okay so basically i have two bestfriends and i have been dating my bf for the last three years. one of my bestfriends recently started dating a new guy three months ago and brought up the idea of my bf meeting her new bf. he told me he doesnt want to. my bf is 20 and hers is 17 and he has no hate towards my bestfriend or bf but he just doesnt want to meet them. even saying hi is smth he doesnt want cuz he knows that even though we say its just a 5 min hi it will be longer than 5 mins. he thinks that he shouldnt have to put energy into meeting her bf cuz theres no connection. hes just really uptight and doesnt exactly like these interactions but im told him to just meet for the sake of being a decent person and also maintaining the relationship with my two bestfriends cuz thats what actually matters to me. is he wrong or right or what should i do or he do.

we have only been dating for a month and a half now this literally just happened a few minutes ago and i just want to know if i’m being over dramatic or not. He just asked me a simple question im starting college soon and he asked what day and what time i told him what days but had to look at what times i start again ig i was taking to long and he sent “tell me or ill rape you” he deleted it right after but i saw it of course and now im so uncomfortable and dont know how to feel he says he’ll never do that to me i mean i believe him? but why would you say that to your girlfriend even if it was a joke… please i need advice

as the title says i (20f) caught my bf (19) watching ai 🌽 of a famous celebrity yesterday. Should i leave him? idk what to do. We have been together for like 3 years. im currently devastated. its making me feel so insecure about myself- am i not his type? As that celeb apparently has completely different features than me.

[20F] et [19M] en couple depuis un an et relation à distance depuis un mois.

Mon copain vient d'arriver à la fac et a sa propre chambre en résidence universitaire. C'est seulement son deuxième jour. Il ne m'a pas parlé avant , puis il m'a envoyé une vidéo avec un message du genre « euh… » montrant sa chambre, entourée d'au moins dix filles qu'il venait de rencontrer : sur son lit, sur son canapé, etc.

La veille, il m'avait dit que c'était une chambre de garçons et qu'il n'y inviterait que des garçons. Je me suis énervée et je lui ai dit que je trouvais ça bizarre. Il a commencé à dire que c'était un groupe d'amis et que quand il avait dit que c'était une chambre réservée aux garçons, il voulait dire qu'il pouvait aussi inviter des groupes d'amis avec des filles, et que ça ne le dérangeait pas qui entrait dans sa chambre. Il y avait aussi quelques garçons dans la chambre avec lui, alors il a dit que ça ne le dérangeait pas.

Il pense aussi que je m'inquiète pour rien et m'a dit : « Qu'est-ce qui pourrait arriver ? C'est juste un groupe d'amis. » Mais ce n'est pas ça qui me contrarie. C'est le fait qu'il m'ait dit la veille qu'il ne ferait venir que des garçons dans sa chambre (on est en relation à distance), qu'il ne m'ait envoyé aucun message avant et qu'il aurait au moins pu me prévenir : « Je fais venir des gens dans ma chambre. » Au lieu de ça, il m'a juste envoyé une vidéo sans prévenir.

Au début, il a aussi dit qu'il n'y avait que deux filles, alors qu'il y en avait clairement plus, puis il a changé d'avis et a dit qu'il y en avait quatre.

Est-ce que je me fais des idées ?

(Il a aussi dit que si je parlais autant que je voulais, il arrêterait de me répondre.)

My boyfriend and me have been together 3 years last night he took me out to eat yesterday and when he came back he told me a waitress went into the men’s washroom he said she saw nothing and was just washing his hands she said “ is there anyone else in here” and he said no. I went to the washroom right after cause I wanted to see why she was going in there so I went towards the women’s washroom right next to the men’s and saw her so I asked her and said “ are you the one who’s going in the mens bathroom cause my man was in there “ she said “ he was just washing his hands “ and she had a sign she was going to put up saying one of the sinks is broken. There’s male staff that work there what is she doing in there? What if he wasn’t “ just washing his hands “ if it was the other way around it would’ve been way different if a man was in the women’s bathroom I feel like 100% they would’ve sent a women to go in the women’s bathroom not a man so why can a women go in the men’s and it’s just supposed to be whatever.. I asked him cause it’s really bothering me and he told me to stop bringing it up not really telling me the exact conversation he’s saying don’t bring it up or I’ll leave (to take space and go to his dads house for a bit) why can’t he just tell me exactly what was said if he knows it’s bothering me he usually never has an issue with reassuring me. I don’t know what to do about this I don’t know if I’m being too insecure, how can I move past this without him telling me details about it?

TL;DR waitress walked in on my boyfriend in the bathroom

&#x200B;

Soo

Am on a relationship with a guy who is older than me by 8 years (me F22 him M30) for 2 years now.

We are so good together and i really love him. But when I talk to him i always feel embarrassed or something,am so comfortable and i am totally clear with him. He just make me feel embarrassed by teasing (playful way like joking or something and i am also a very shy person)me (that'smy first relationship) we also don't fight i mean barely, when he feels that am mad or uncomfortable he directly ask me and apologize ...

I felt like that's weird so asked ine of my friends who's always cursing on her boyfriend like a kind of joke (I don't see that's like respectful or even something normale in a relationship) she told me that "you just don't love him"

So I am wondering about your opinion