My boyfriend (35M), and I (25F) have been together for only 3 months. This morning while working he casually sent me a picture of a skirt that is NOT mine. After getting upset about it, he tries to brush it off. Then stops responding for hours.
Am I overreacting, is this breakup worthy?
I have no idea when or who it's from. I would like to assume it's from before me. What should I do?
Me [24F] and my boyfriend [30M] , have only been together for 4 months.He's extremely tender, and kind, which are some things I fell in love with.
But recently he has had a couple outbursts over the smallest of things... For example, while driving the other day he said he didn't want to listen to music, and we were about to go for a hike so I said it could get us excited and more hyper for it, and after convincing him to let me play music.. a song comes, I skip it to the next one, and boom, he starts YELLING at me that I ruined it, that he was getting into it and other things, I don't even remember what else because I was stunned.
I had no words, I could only cry, I genuinely had no idea I was doing something wrong by skipping it, or else I wouldn't have. He then gets extremely apologetic when he sees me upset, and tries to hug me and hold me while driving, and he says the only reason he yells is because he thinks " I can handle it ". It's the second time this has happened in the last few weeks over something so small. The last time it happened it was a similar scenario.
What I believe is a trauma response, when someone yells at me I just disassociate and cry, words wont come out, and I just freeze for a few minutes. So it's hard for me to react right away, and I don't want to over react back so I just stay quiet till I gather my thoughts. So anyway we talked about it, I asked him why he feels the need to treat me that way, when we're usually so nice and communicative with each other.
He explained he just gets so worked up and can't handle his emotions. Like I said he's a very tender person, there's been times I've dropped or broken things ( I'm very clumsy) and he will react super kindly and not get angry at all and tell me to just go relax while he fixes it or cleans it. Or if I'm stressed he will go out of his way to do something to make me feel better, without me even asking, or big stressors for most people he will handle with ease. But gets so worked up about tiny things...
Later that night he gave me a long hug and apologized again, and promised he would work on his reactions. He was again very tender and so sweet, but I can't help thinking... Is this the beginning of an ongoing cycle? He's a super kind person, kind to strangers, and has a great relationship with his family and friends. But has such a short temper with such small things..
I like him a lot, he's got a lot of great qualities, and we always have great moments together but I also don't want to get stuck in a cycle...
Any advice?
TIA :)