r/LDR

If you have read my story, please scroll down to read the update.

About our relationship: We were together for a couple of months, but we were well acquainted for over a year. He came to see me once, but we made plans to see each other again this month for my birthday.

I fell in love with him within a month and a half of us dating. He was very consistent, respectful, caring, and more. All of the sudden, he switched up on me completely and turned into a person who I never thought he could be.

We were also in an age-gap relationship. I am in my early 20s, he is in his early 30s.
—

I want to start off by saying that I do not have concrete proof that he has been unfaithful to me, but there were signs that I just couldn’t ignore. I’ll mention some of them.

The first sign was when he and I first started dating, he said to me out of nowhere that he needs me to be around as often as possible. He needs me to keep him occupied by being on the phone with him. He stated that he needed that from me because when he is by himself for too long, his mind starts to wander. And then he said next thing you know, he may text another woman.

When he said that to me, I asked him what is the point of us being together if that’s what he’s going to do. He expressed what I thought was regret and apologized for what he said, and he told me that he did not mean it like that. I feel that I should’ve left him right then and there, but I was not thinking straight.

I have been single for a long time, and I thought that this man was my person (from the ways things were moving so smoothly) so I was subconsciously letting things slide such as that conversation.

The second sign was that he would often project by constantly asking me if there was another man. He wasn’t okay with me going out because he didn’t like the idea of other men seeing me while he didn’t have access to me. Whenever I went out, it would be with family or female friends, but he would still ask if another man was there.

The third and final sign was that I allowed him to see my phone unprovoked. He never asked to see my phone—I simply showed it to him. But after a while, I didn’t feel comfortable anymore because I felt like I had given him all of me, yet I wasn’t getting that same openness from him. So I calmly asked to see his phone. I wanted him to share his screen, but he became aggressive with me. He went off on me and accused me of tricking him into showing me his phone by doing it first.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but he was projecting, and the reason he was projecting was because he was guilty. He could see that I was hurting. He could see that I was uncomfortable, and he could see that I deeply needed reassurance. But instead of comforting me and giving me what I needed to have peace, he responded with laughter and mockery. Then he threatened to end the relationship because I didn’t trust him. He turned it around on me. That was when I knew for sure that there was something going on.

If I were to tell you that I do not miss him and that I do not want to hear his voice again, I would be blatantly lying to you. I want to hear him lie to me one more time and tell me that he loves me. I want him to lie and tell me that he’s in love with me. I want him to lie and tell me that he cares about me and that I mean everything to him. I want him to hold me again while whispering lies to me about how much I mean to him. He made me feel desired when he came to see me, but it was all fake on his end.

The last thing I’ll mention is that he grew very impatient in such a short span of time. He wanted us to be intimate. He wanted to sleep with me. But I was holding off because I wanted to wait until marriage, and he also knew that he was supposed to wait until marriage. (We are Christians). But he couldn’t take it anymore, and that’s what I believe led him to cheat on me IF that’s what was going on.

So where I am right now is grieving. I am hurting, and the pain comes to me in waves because I deeply desire to be married. I deeply desire to have children. I deeply desire to be loved by a man—to be loved, desired, cared for, and cherished.

By the way, I broke up with him before coming here. I just needed validation to see if I made the right call.

—

UPDATE

Thank you so much to everyone who gave me advice, encouragement, and support. I am beyond grateful.

After I blocked him on everything (or so as I thought), he emailed me saying that he loves me, he is sorry, and he misses me. He then said that he has not been okay since we stopped being in contact.

He pleaded for me to consider unblocking him so that we can work things out.

In response, I gave none. I decided to block his email and move forward with my life.

Anyone can change, but one thing I know about myself is that if I were to marry this man, I will not be at peace for the rest of my life. I will end up constantly needing reassurance that he is not being unfaithful to me again. See how I am using the word, “again?” There are men out there who would not be unfaithful the FIRST time.

With that being said, I am completely done with him. I forgive him but I do not want to hear anything out. Cheating is the ultimate betrayal, and I cannot look at him the same after he showed me what he was capable of doing to me plus being a liar and a manipulator.

God bless, thank you all.

The guy I'm dating long distance went out of town to see family for the weekend and only texted me the whole trip. He usually calls everyday when he gets off work or isn't busy so I'm a little suspicious as to why he didn't do that this time. I understand he was visiting family to which he sent me a picture of his family so I believe that part. I just don't understand why he wouldn't call at least when he got to his hotel room. I just hope he's not lying to me about what he really was doing because I'm supposed to be going to visit him in 2 weeks. I admit I overthink sometimes but I'm so confused this time, what do you all think? Any advice appreciated

I thought, "Even if my relationship isn't like everyone else's, that's okay. At least we'll enjoy our long-distance relationship." But honestly, every time something happens, my mood gets ruined. At this point, I feel like forget about hug, she probably won't even kiss me.

1. My girlfriend always wants me to treat her like a baby. She doesn't like it when I talk about anything romantic. If I bring up romance, she starts talking about breaking up. She has blocked me three times already.

2. She doesn't want me to touch her physically, not even a normal hug. She wants all physical affection only after marriage, but at the same time she says she doesn't want children. She also wants me to leave my family and move 2,000 km away to live with her and her mother.

3. I thought she was 24 years old and one year older than me, so I assumed she'd be more mature. But sometimes it feels like she doesn't want romantic love—she wants baby treatment and father-like care instead.

4. She starts arguments over small things. If I send her a reel, she often doesn't like it. Once I suggested a simple half-sleeve kurti with jeans, and she said it was too revealing.

5. Every couple tries new things together—voice notes, video calls, sending random pictures, and other little ways of staying connected. We've rarely done those things, and there are many things we've never done at all.

6. A few days ago I was on a trip and sent her lots of pictures and videos. But when I ask her to send me pictures, she usually makes excuses. We have only video-called once, and even then she kept hiding her face with her hand.

7. Honestly, I'm getting tired of constantly giving baby treatment. Sometimes it feels like I'm more of a parent or emotional caretaker than a boyfriend.

8. One day I asked her that when I come to meet her, I'd like us to stay together for a few days. She immediately said no and told me she couldn't stay in a hotel with me. I even told her I could book a completely separate room for her if that made her comfortable, but she still refused. She said she doesn't want society or people from her college to think badly about her. She said that if she stays anywhere, it would only be with her friend in a separate room. I explained that I had no bad intentions—I just wanted to spend some quality time with her.

So I'm expected to travel 2,000 km to meet her, but she can't even stay with me for a single day. Instead, she expects me to stay alone in a hotel for the entire week.

Final:

I'm not forcing or pressuring her into anything. I genuinely respect her boundaries, and I also prefer love to happen naturally. But everything has a limit. How long can I continue a relationship that feels so one-sided? I'm honestly exhausted from constantly giving baby treatment while feeling like my own emotional needs are never met.

Its quite normal for my partner to not talk to for a couples days sometimes. But he hasnt texted me and left me on seen when I last sent him a message which was sunday. I dont know if this is normal he hasnt seen any of my other messages doesn't seem online? Hasnt answered my calls.

Me F27 and my bf M35 been together for 2 years now. I live in the Philippines, he live in Germany. I love him. I really do. But sometimes there are things that confuses me sometimes if he really does love me. For example, he earns 20x than me. He would send me money in Pesos like 500 php to 3k whenever he just feels like it, like 2 times in 3 months. Now, he always visit me here like 3 times a year for 2 years, and sometimes he would flight business class. The thought of he could spend a lot of money and comfortably spends that for himself, is it reasonable for me to think he spends minimum for me? Or is it just me? I’m very confused and hurt. I feel like he is not generous, or am I wrong here?

Sorry for the long post. This is probably the biggest decision I’ve ever had to make. I know this is only my perspective, and I’m sure if my girlfriend wrote this, she’d include things I haven’t. I’m genuinely trying to present this as fairly as I can because I want honest advice, not validation.

I’m 26, and this is my first relationship. We’ve been together for about 2.5 years, but it’s long distance. During that time, we’ve only seen each other 3 times, totaling about 15 days together in person.

Despite that, our lives are incredibly intertwined. We fall asleep on the phone together every single night, talk throughout the day, and have become each other’s best friends. She gets along really well with my family, and I get along really well with hers.

We’ve also both been through some incredibly difficult things together.

My mom was diagnosed with cancer, we had to sell our family home, finances became a huge burden, and I’ve been working 6–7 days a week, which has made it difficult to travel and see her.

On her side, her dad passed away, and her mom underwent a life-threatening surgery.

Through all of that, we’ve stayed by each other’s side.
What’s strange is that it almost feels like two different relationships.

When we’re together in person, we rarely argue. My stress disappears, I feel completely at peace, and it’s honestly like time stops. Leaving each other is one of the hardest things either of us has experienced. We both cry every time we say goodbye. Then I go back to work and everyday life, months pass before I get to see her again, and I honestly feel empty.

When we’re apart, though, we fight much more. Long distance has been incredibly difficult for both of us.
We also have a bad habit of threatening breakups during really bad arguments. She’s broken up with me before and later wanted to reconcile. I’ve done the same. Neither of us has ever truly wanted the relationship to end. I’d be lying if I said we weren’t toxic in certain ways, especially while we’re apart. I think we’ve both contributed to that.
One of the biggest issues has been porn.

Early in our relationship (around five months in), she commented “yum 😍” on another guy’s social media post. At the time, it really hurt me, and I interpreted it as her being attracted to someone else. She later apologized, said she regretted it, and never did anything like that again.

Looking back, I should have talked it through instead of letting resentment build. The problem was that her dad was dying around that time, and I didn’t feel it was appropriate to make that period about my feelings. So I buried it.

Unfortunately, I started justifying looking at other women and eventually watching porn because, in my mind, I thought, “If she’s looking at other guys, why can’t I?”
Looking back now, I know that wasn’t healthy or fair.
To be clear, I’m not blaming that comment or what she was going through for my choices. It explains where my head was at, but I still chose to watch porn, and I take full responsibility for that.

I watched porn on and off for about 10 months. It wasn’t an everyday habit, but it happened enough to damage trust.

In August 2025, I finally told her the truth because I couldn’t live with the guilt anymore.

She was understandably devastated, but she decided to stay and try to work through it with me.

About eight months later, I finally saw her again in person. We talked through everything face to face. We took intimacy very slowly, and by around May she told me she finally felt like she was starting to get over what had happened.

Then I slipped again.

After we’d been apart for another couple of months, I watched porn again.

Seven days ago, I told her immediately.
Now she feels like we’re back at square one.

She’s talking about ending the relationship, and honestly, I’m not arguing with her. I understand why she feels the way she does.

She considers porn to be cheating.

I don’t personally see it exactly that way because we’ve spent so little time together physically, but I completely understand why she feels betrayed. Whether I agree with that definition or not, I know I broke her trust.

She also experienced sexual trauma before we met, so we’ve always taken intimacy slowly. We’ve been intimate, but we’ve never had full intercourse because it has been painful for her, and I’ve always respected her boundaries and never pressured her.

I also think we experience intimacy differently.
For her, the emotional connection is by far the most important part of a relationship. She has told me she’d never watch porn or think about other men because she simply doesn’t have that desire.

For me, the emotional connection is just as important, but physical intimacy is also a huge part of how I feel connected in a relationship. Going months without seeing each other has been much harder on me than it seems to be for her.

When I’m actually with her, I have zero desire to watch porn or think about other women. My attention is completely on her. The struggle only happens when we’re apart for months. That’s when I become sexually frustrated. I genuinely don’t want to watch porn anymore, but I’m struggling to figure out how to deal with those urges in a healthy way while respecting her boundaries. I also notice myself looking at attractive women more than I’d like, and I hate that because I don’t want to disrespect her or objectify anyone.

Another thing I’ve been struggling with is that this is my first relationship.

I grew up in a very strict household, never dated, and never really explored before her. She has had more dating experience than I have (although she hadn’t had sex before me), so she has a better idea of what else is out there. I don’t.

The confusing part is that I genuinely only see myself marrying this woman.

I don’t want another relationship.

What I fear is marrying my first and only partner while always wondering what I missed. I don’t know if that’s because I’ve never experienced anything else, or if it’s simply a fear that fades with maturity and commitment. I don’t think it would be fair to marry someone while secretly wondering “what if?”

At the same time, I also don’t think it would be fair to throw away an incredible relationship because of curiosity that might eventually disappear.

I also understand her perspective.

From her point of view, she’s remained faithful throughout our relationship while I’ve repeatedly broken promises about porn. I completely understand why she’d question whether she’s enough for me, even though that’s never how I’ve felt. I know trust isn’t rebuilt by words—it’s rebuilt over time.

The truth is, I love this woman deeply.

She’s my best friend.

I honestly worry I’d never find another connection like this again.

I also got my first passport ever so I could travel to see her. I paid for each trip because I wanted to, planned our dates, drove hours to pick her up, and tried to make every visit special. I never expected her to spend money on me—I genuinely wanted to do those things because I love her.

I also recognize that I may be looking for reasons to explain my behavior rather than simply owning it. That’s part of why I’m posting here. I’m trying to figure out whether these are normal struggles that can be worked through, or signs that I’m not ready for marriage or this relationship.

I’m not looking for validation or for people to pick sides.
If you think I’m the problem, tell me.

If you think she’s asking for something unrealistic, tell me that too.

If you think we’re fundamentally incompatible, I’d like to hear that as well.

If you were in my shoes, would you continue fighting for this relationship, or would you let it go? If you’ve married your first love, did the fear of “missing out” eventually disappear? And if you’ve rebuilt trust after breaking it, what actually helped?

TL;DR: 26M in my first 2.5-year long-distance relationship. We’ve only spent about 15 days together in person because of finances, work, distance, and major family tragedies. We fall asleep on the phone every night, love each other deeply, and are amazing together in person, but fight much more while apart. I watched porn on and off for about 10 months, confessed in 2025, we slowly rebuilt trust, then I recently relapsed and told her immediately. She feels we’re back at square one and is considering ending the relationship. I genuinely see her as the woman I’d marry, but because she’s my first relationship, I sometimes fear I’ll always wonder what I missed. I’m trying to figure out whether that’s a fear that fades with maturity or a sign that we’re ultimately incompatible. I’m looking for honest advice from both perspectives.

hi everyone, i can really use some practical advice please. my long-term long-distance boyfriend and i are trying to figure out how to close the gap and are struggling to find a quick but practical path. I've tried asking the various ireland subreddits but my posts never go through because my problems are "too complicated" ? lol, so i think you guys are the only ones who would understand! this might be a little long but please bare with me.

for some backstory, i'm (25F) from chicago and he's (24M) from dublin. we met last summer towards the tail end of his J1 summer work visa in america, he was literally going back to ireland the day after we met but knew he wanted to continue a relationship together no matter what, and he has been truly the happiest gift in my life. we've gone back and forth to visit each other a few times in the past year, which has been incredible but so expensive. coming up on our year anniversary, we're eager to find a way to finally move in together, but this is where the logistics get tricky.

my situation:

i still live at home after graduating college with a BA in creative writing a few years ago but haven't found consistent decent full-time work yet, so i don't have a clear path to ireland/EU via any kind of employment visa right now, and i graduated too long ago to be eligible for a working holiday authorization. i'm considering going for my masters—likely something in public health, because that's one field on the critical skills list i have interest and some experience in. given that it's july, though, i think i waited way too late to apply to grad school for a fall 2026 intake, so the soonest would be 2027.

his situation:

my boyfriend also still lives at home as he just graduated college in law & history last year and has a low-wage sales job that he hates, and he's also been struggling to find decent full-time work in his field, or really any field that would pay well enough for him to move out. the housing and employment crisis in ireland is particularly bad. we're considering elsewhere in the EU or canada, or here in america if we have to. he can more easily get a temporary working holiday visa than i can because of his recent graduation, but i have no real way of moving to canada anytime soon.

we've discussed marriage together (and i've talked to my mom about it, because we're quite close and she has met him and loves him) and it's something we are definitely interested to pursue, but not quite just yet if we can help it. he's convinced his family will think he's irresponsible for marrying before being financially independent (ironically, we could afford to be independent from our families more easily if we get to live together). marriage culture in ireland is generally a bit funny because people tend to get married quite late, couples will literally get a mortgage on a house together as a step prior to marriage. we're obviously in a comparatively unique circumstance, but would like to try other visa options such as employment/school/etc. first if it's possible.

we're both really sad and stressed about our respective employment situations and are trying to figure this out as best as we can. we miss each other a lot as we only get to see each other every few months, and we're desperate to figure out how we can move in and start our lives together :(

tldr; my boyfriend (24M, ireland) and i (25F, USA) are having trouble figuring out how we can close the distance as soon as we can and are seeking advice as to how we can make this happen in our situation. we would live anywhere if it meant getting to live together. if you have advice please let me know <3

My 18m boyfriend and I 18m are in an ldr he is my first relationship so I dont know how to tell if you have lost feelings I just have so much going on in my life i cant tell how im feeling because im feeling so much because of whats happening and we haven't talked as much for like a month we used to talk everyday all day and call every night now its we call like once a week and we just had our 1 year anniversary i dont know whats happening please help

Hi everyone. I did an awful job at keeping this concise but I want to make sure that all the facts and context are known. This is in no way a juicy story or anything, I am really just looking for any advice or insight.

My gf (25 F) and I (25M) have been in an LDR for a year. She is amazing and I feel very lucky to be with her. If we have issues (not many), we can always listen to what the other has to say and talk about it, without yelling or hurting each other with words. We love each other very much. We have also been lucky to visit each other quite often throughout the year.

Lately, I have been feeling upset when she hangs out with one of her guy friends she knew from grad school (we can call him E). This all started back in November. Long-story short: she told me she was going out with “friends” when it was really just him. I only found out because I noticed she was avoiding the topic when I tried to bring it up that night. I had to ask 3 or 4 times who was at that hang, and each time was some variation of the plural “friends”. I noticed she seemed very off, but she eventually came clean and told me that it was just her one guy friend. She apologized about lying, and I remember getting pretty upset. She attributed her lying to family trauma; feeling like it was an uncomfortable topic and like it may make me upset; so she basically just tried to dodge. Despite being upset, I completely understood: we have all lied to protect ourselves from uncomfortable situations. But of course, it left me with questions like “She never lied about hanging alone with other guy friends, why did she lie this time?”. It also left me feeling like I had to regain her trust, because these things can harm any relationship, especially long distance relationships.

From then until the past month, there have been no issues of that type.

Fast forward to the past month or so, I learn that E and his girlfriend break up. My gf and him have been hanging out more. I also learned that overall, he was opening up to and hanging out with other people (also women) as well (I think that’s great). It seems like he may have been closed off during the school year.

Now, admittedly, the first couple of times they hung out, I felt upset. I think it dug up those feelings in the past of distrust, even though she was being honest about spending time with him and even though I had forgiven her in November. Despite this, I still felt like she could have put more effort in to let me know ahead of time that they were going to go out or something like that — but I would usually just find out after they were already together, like when I would text her to see what she’s up to. Ultimately, I think that if I had lied to my partner about hanging with a girl, the next time we hung out I would be sure to let my partner know ahead of time and do my best to keep them updated. Anyway, when they would hang, and we would talk about our days after, I would feel quiet and just kind of upset. I did not do my best in telling her outright that I was uncomfortable. In turn, this made her feel uncomfortable. We have talked about it and have been trying to figure it out.

Here’s the other part of this that has spiked my concern. My gf asked me if “It would be okay if she taught E how to swim at the beach”. By this time, she already knew that it made me uncomfortable when they hung out (this was about a week ago). Personally, I was kind of shocked that this was even a question. I did not get upset with her, we did not fight, but it was just really hard to hear that. She was extremely apologetic, and I could tell she honestly felt very bad about it (crying). Overall, I was glad she told me. But I have this awful feeling in my gut like she was really just trying to make it happen. I feel this way because of the following: after she had offered it up to him in person already (at some party), they made plans for her to go to his apt to help him fix his bike. (She told me this was happening, and I even called her while she was there and she answered). The night before she went to his apt, she asked him over text “Do you still want to learn how to swim?” I feel like you don’t really ask that the night before you hang out with someone unless you’re really trying to make it happen, you know?? In addition, she didn’t even know how to fix the bike and told me she had never fixed something like that before either.

I don’t know guys, it’s gotten to the point where I’m typing this out and it all sounds so sus, but I want to clarify that she is not cheating on me. At the worst, I think I am afraid that he is giving her some type of attention or that she is trying to keep some potential door open. Those are my fears.

I think what upsets me more is that she admits that no one would like to feel how *I’m* feeling, yet she still insists on spending time alone with him. I have told her I would feel a lot more comfortable if they were in a group together or something.

I want to add, the other night they had dinner at his apt. She told me she was going beforehand, she sent me a pic of the dinner to be cute (that was an example of something I told her she could do that might make me feel more comfortable), and called me when she got home. So she put in effort, but I still just feel so weird about this whole thing.

Overall: I will *never* give some sort of ultimatum of “it’s him or me”, but would it be wrong (after the lying, the swimming thing, etc) for me to feel like they should just keep it to a friend group? I really want to work this out with her. Honestly, you can just write your thoughts, anything at all is appreciated. Thank you.

20F about to start going to collage and being in a long distance relationship. Her boyfriend which is from another country is already a student and has a year of university left. Now the girl is standing before choosing if she wants to study in her own country, be close to her family and in her comfort space, or move out to her boyfriends country and study there. If she chooses to stay, he has to come to her country after a year of long distance and live together there. Either the relationship breaks or one person sacrifices something. What is the best solution here?

I (26F) miss the man my boyfriend (21M) was before I said yes. Is this just the honeymoon phase ending? (3 months together)
My boyfriend (21M) and I (26F) have been together for about 8 months.
When we first started talking, he was incredibly romantic. He’d text me first, remember every little detail, surprise me with small things, compliment me all the time, and make me feel like the most special girl in the world. I genuinely felt like a princess.
After we officially got together, things slowly changed.
He’s still kind to me and we still talk every day, but the romance has faded a lot. The cheesy messages are almost gone, he doesn’t initiate conversations as much, and he doesn’t seem nearly as excited as he used to be.
It sometimes feels like once he knew he had “won” me, he stopped trying as hard.
I don’t know if I’m overthinking this or if this is just how relationships naturally evolve after the honeymoon phase.
I don’t want to become clingy or constantly ask for reassurance because I know that can push someone away.
For those who’ve been in long-term relationships (or even guys who have experienced this themselves):
Is this normal?
Did your relationship become less intense after it became official?
Is there anything I can do to bring back some of the romance and excitement without playing games or making him feel pressured?
I really care about him, and I don’t want to lose what we had in the beginning. Any honest advice would mean a lot.

\*\*TL;DR:\*\* I (26F) have been dating my boyfriend (21M) for about 8 months. Before we got together, he was incredibly romantic, attentive, and made me feel like a princess. Since we started dating, he’s become much less expressive and doesn’t put in the same effort as he used to. He’s still kind, but I miss the version of him that chased me. Is this a normal transition after the honeymoon phase, or is it a sign he’s losing interest? What should I do to strengthen our relationship without becoming clingy or playing games?

We have done chatting and video calling for a while on IG (maybe a month)
Are there any apps where can I raise cats together or send letters on online?

I am currently in a 7 months long distance relationship with my boyfriend and he is a 2 hour flight away from me.
Which isn’t a big deal. We see each other every month or at least within 2 months.

But because he is working full time and me still going to school, working and having a 2 year old child (not his) it’s a little harder to see each other.

But me personally I struggle with it because I miss him so much and I’m so happy to see him and talk to him.

At home I feel so much pressure and kind of sad and closed out. I really don’t like my city never have.

And sometimes it feels worse, because of the choices I made. Having a child this young while still in school. (I love my child really so much and I enjoy every second of it but it also feels like I took my own freedom away)
Also not being able to switch schools so I can study online.

My parents do help me when I want to go to my boyfriend. But it is the planning with the child and work and school everything is sometimes so much.

How do other people do this? How did you handle ldr with a child and what did your boyfriend think of it?

About our relationship: We were together for a couple of months, but we were well acquainted for over a year. He came to see me once, but we made plans to see each other again this month for my birthday.

I fell in love with him within a month and a half of us dating. He was very consistent, respectful, caring, and more. All of the sudden, he switched up on me completely and turned into a person who I never thought he could be.

We were also in an age-gap relationship. I am in my early 20s, he is in his early 30s.
—

I want to start off by saying that I do not have concrete proof that he has been unfaithful to me, but there were signs that I just couldn’t ignore. I’ll mention some of them.

The first sign was when he and I first started dating, he said to me out of nowhere that he needs me to be around as often as possible. He needs me to keep him occupied by being on the phone with him. He stated that he needed that from me because when he is by himself for too long, his mind starts to wander. And then he said next thing you know, he may text another woman.

When he said that to me, I asked him what is the point of us being together if that’s what he’s going to do. He expressed what I thought was regret and apologized for what he said, and he told me that he did not mean it like that. I feel that I should’ve left him right then and there, but I was not thinking straight.

I have been single for a long time, and I thought that this man was my person (from the ways things were moving so smoothly) so I was subconsciously letting things slide such as that conversation.

The second sign was that he would often project by constantly asking me if there was another man. He wasn’t okay with me going out because he didn’t like the idea of other men seeing me while he didn’t have access to me. Whenever I went out, it would be with family or female friends, but he would still ask if another man was there.

The third and final sign was that I allowed him to see my phone unprovoked. He never asked to see my phone—I simply showed it to him. But after a while, I didn’t feel comfortable anymore because I felt like I had given him all of me, yet I wasn’t getting that same openness from him. So I calmly asked to see his phone. I wanted him to share his screen, but he became aggressive with me. He went off on me and accused me of tricking him into showing me his phone by doing it first.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but he was projecting, and the reason he was projecting was because he was guilty. He could see that I was hurting. He could see that I was uncomfortable, and he could see that I deeply needed reassurance. But instead of comforting me and giving me what I needed to have peace, he responded with laughter and mockery. Then he threatened to end the relationship because I didn’t trust him. He turned it around on me. That was when I knew for sure that there was something going on.

If I were to tell you that I do not miss him and that I do not want to hear his voice again, I would be blatantly lying to you. I want to hear him lie to me one more time and tell me that he loves me. I want him to lie and tell me that he’s in love with me. I want him to lie and tell me that he cares about me and that I mean everything to him. I want him to hold me again while whispering lies to me about how much I mean to him. He made me feel desired when he came to see me, but it was all fake on his end.

The last thing I’ll mention is that he grew very impatient in such a short span of time. He wanted us to be intimate. He wanted to sleep with me. But I was holding off because I wanted to wait until marriage, and he also knew that he was supposed to wait until marriage. (We are Christians). But he couldn’t take it anymore, and that’s what I believe led him to cheat on me IF that’s what was going on.

So where I am right now is grieving. I am hurting, and the pain comes to me in waves because I deeply desire to be married. I deeply desire to have children. I deeply desire to be loved by a man—to be loved, desired, cared for, and cherished.

I wanted to share my story and seek help—not only on how I can move forward, but also to see if anybody can relate to my story. I am desperately seeking for community.

TL;DR: I need to hear opinions on whether or not I was being cheated on by my long distance boyfriend.

Thank you all.

My gf got into army and she went for training we were already dating in ldr and never met irl but we love each other alot. The training is of 6 months and she went for it this week and during this time for first few weeks they won't even allow to call on weekend as she already told me. And even later during training she is allowed it will be max 5-7 minutes only on weekends as there's common phone for over 40 girls. And during that time she need to call her mom then me it's so hard for her to manage it's 4 days since she went and I'm feeling anxiety alot of and feel like crying I read few stories on reddit and all said their GF/wife cheated them I do trust my girl but now I'm feeling even more anxious idk what to do I don't even feel doing anything and it's raining season here so I can't even go out i can't even focus on my work (I'm self employed) I feel like crying every night idk whats happening with me and I don't have any real friend to share what I feel I only had my girl. Please suggest me what to do? It's so hard and it's first time for me to feel all this. Thank you

For context, he’s (28M) in the Europe continent and I’m (22F) in the Asia continent so we are very far away, and so I give trust and grace for our relationship. He’s also Brazilian, and we’re still in the pre-bfgf but exclusive stage. We have known each other for 2.5months and the last time we saw each other was 1.5months ago.

In his last text at 11am his time yesterday, he mentioned that he was going to a party for the night. I responded 8+pm (our response time usually ranges from almost instant to 12h, max 36 hours one time). I know that he stays until the end of parties so 5/6am the next morning, but it’s now 1pm, and I saw that he posted on IG stories around 7am but has not replied my texts.

Sometimes I do see that he has been active on IG before he actually texts me back, which I am perfectly okay with because I am also guilty of doomscrolling. I am also okay with him not updating me throughout the night because I also usually text him post-activity. Every time he replies after a long while or post-activity he always replies with very sweet and in-depth messages. But posting without replying is the first time, and having the capacity to post on IG stories while not having texted me back feels a bit concerning to me.

Am I overthinking it or should I bring it up, and how? This is my first LDR and real relationship so would appreciate any advice 😭

I’ve been dating my partner ldr for about 2 years but these past few months my mental health’s been declining and lack of communication so 2-3 months ago I asked if we could just take a break from things and they agreed cause they were dealing with irl stuff aswell

But recently I’ve been questioning on if I’d be okay continuing it or if I should just be friends with them

this relationship has been my first actual healthy one and I’m worried about hurting my partner by not wanting to continue it :(

There’s more context but I’m not great at putting things into words sorry:(

Like when nothing is clearly wrong, it’s just life getting in the way. And one of you just doesn’t feel like you’ve been as close as you’d like to.

i met someone here on reddit and we also talked on tg for few days, and napansin ko is super bagal nya mag reply it takes 5-20 mins for every reply. nakakadrain kase you really wanted to talk to him pero sya dedma. few days palang naman so we can easily end it.

I just want to know ur opinion on this? Like ur gf give money or food treats u ? if she doesn't have money she could arrange from her brother or anywhere else. Should I keep making distance from onwards?