How soon is too soon to start thinking about closing the gap?
Hi everyone! I (29F) recently got into my first-ever LDR with my boyfriend (33M), and we’ve been together for a couple of months. We’re over 1,000 miles apart and have a two-hour time difference.
We’re also both pretty bad at texting naturally, but we’ve both been making a conscious effort to communicate more and meet each other halfway.
Eventually, if things continue to get serious, I’d like to move to where he lives and close the gap. I just have no idea what a realistic timeline for that looks like, especially since I’ve never been in an LDR before. I've read some of the posts here and they have been a little helpful, but I wanted to dive a bit deeper.
For those of you who have successfully closed the gap:
- How long were you together before one of you moved?
- How long did you date before getting engaged, if you eventually got engaged?
- Did you have a specific timeline for closing the gap, or did it happen more organically?
- What do you wish you had known when you were only a few months into your LDR?
I also have a little bit of an internal struggle going on. I feel very strongly about him already, and I can genuinely see myself spending the rest of my life with him. At the same time, I know we’ve only been together for a couple of months, so I’m wondering if I’m getting ahead of myself.
For example, if he proposed to me today, I honestly think I’d say yes. But I also realize that doesn’t necessarily mean he is anywhere near ready to propose, and we haven’t actually talked about marriage or timelines yet. I know he loves me, but I’m still figuring out whether we’re on the same page about what our long-term future looks like.
I tend to feel things very deeply, so I’m also trying to remind myself to slow down and let the relationship develop instead of trying to figure out the entire future right now.
I know LDRs can be a little different from relationships where you see each other all the time, and I’d really appreciate advice from people who have been through this before.
How did you navigate the early stages of your LDR, and when did you start seriously discussing closing the gap?
Thanks, y’all ❤️