u/ohkae__

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a few months, and one thing that has increasingly bothered me is that most of the time we see each other seems to revolve around his job bringing him to my area.

He lives out of state and travels for work, so I understand that distance, work, and having other responsibilities make things more complicated. My issue isn’t that I expect him to constantly travel to see me or spend money on dates. It’s that I don’t really see much effort to intentionally create time for us outside of the times he’s already coming here for work.

When he is in town, we see each other, but lately I’ve started feeling like I’m just being fit into a schedule that already exists rather than him actually making plans specifically because he wants to see me. I would like for him to occasionally choose a day/weekend, make the trip, plan something for us, or take the initiative to create time together that has nothing to do with his work schedule.

We’ve talked about wanting more intentional dates and seeing each other more, so this isn’t something I’ve never communicated. I think that’s why it bothers me more now. I don’t want to continuously ask someone to make an effort to see me.

At the same time, I’m trying to be fair because he does have a demanding job, kids, family responsibilities, and his own expenses. He also does things to show he cares about me in other ways. I’m not questioning whether he cares at all. I’m questioning whether this particular dynamic is reasonable long-term because I want to feel like our relationship has a life outside of his work bringing him near me.

For people who have been in a somewhat long-distance relationship, would this bother you? Is it reasonable to want your partner to occasionally make the trip specifically for you rather than almost always seeing each other when work makes it convenient?

I was recently diagnosed with HSV-2 and I keep seeing the word **“shedding”** everywhere, but I’m still a little confused about what that actually means in real-life terms.

When people say the virus is “shedding,” what exactly is happening? Is shedding something you can physically see or feel, or does it usually happen with absolutely no noticeable signs at all?

Since I was mostly asymptomatic, I’m especially curious about how shedding differs from an actual outbreak. Does shedding mean the virus is just present on the skin and potentially transmissible even though there are no sores, cuts, bumps, tingling, irritation, or other symptoms?

I’d really appreciate hearing how others came to understand what “shedding” actually means after being diagnosed.