r/Herpes

Hi guys so this post is me wondering on the accuracy of testing methods for both swabbing and blood.

So back in January of this year i got orally swabbed and blood tested for hsv1 which came back positive for hsv1 and negative for hsv2. And about a month ago i got genitally swabbed and blood tested for hsv2 which came back positive for hsv2 but negative for hsv1.

So i guess my main question is how could the results have flip flopped for both results.

Tldr:
January testing= ohsv1+ and ghsv2-
Now= ohsv1- and ghsv2+

I’m honestly not sure how to handle this, so I’m looking for some outside opinions.
My boyfriend is also my son’s dad. We met in 2016 and had our son in 2018. I’ve always gotten tested regularly for STDs, including herpes.
In February 2020, I tested negative for HSV-2. We ended up getting back together after that. When we got back together, we used condoms every time. His reason for wanting to use condoms was that he said he didn’t want another baby at the time.
Something else that stands out to me now is that oral sex also stopped. His explanation was that I had complained about it in the past, so he said he didn’t want me doing it anymore. The thing is, I had complained because at the time we were living together but technically weren’t in a relationship. He wanted to have sex and do relationship-type things, but didn’t want to actually commit to being together. So yes, I had expressed frustration about that before.
In May 2024, I had a bump in my genital area, so I went to get tested and tested positive for HSV-2.
When I told my boyfriend, he was surprisingly supportive and calm about it. At the time, I thought maybe he was just handling it well, but looking back, his reaction feels different now.
Recently, I looked through his phone and emails and found emails from July 2020 showing that he had tested positive for HSV-2 and was reaching out to people about getting a “cure package.”
So he apparently knew he had HSV-2 years before I tested positive and never told me.
What really hurts is that when I found out I had HSV-2, I specifically told him he needed to get tested. He told me he didn’t need to because if I had it, then more than likely he had it too. I told him that’s not necessarily true and that he should get tested so that if he didn’t have it, we could take precautions to prevent him from getting it.
Now I find out he already knew he had it since 2020.
And the fact that we got back together after I tested negative, used condoms, and then he knew he had HSV-2 but never disclosed it makes me question everything. I keep thinking about whether he knew there was a possibility of passing it to me and whether some of the changes in our sex life were because he knew he had it.
I know I shouldn’t have gone through his phone, and I’m not trying to justify that. But now that I’ve seen the emails, I can’t unsee them.
I’m hurt, angry, betrayed, and honestly confused about what I’m supposed to do with this information.
What would you do if you were in my position? Would you consider this something you could forgive and move past, or would this be a dealbreaker? And how would you even approach him about it when you found out by going through his phone?

Hey y’all. I am a 32M with GHSV2. I was diagnosed about 7/8 years ago and am currently engaged to my partner of 4 years.

This may be a controversial post and in no means am I writing this to bring anyone down. When I was first diagnosed I felt my life was over. I’m writing this to provide some tough love in hopes that all of us can find love and happiness, and this is just my observations and advice from getting back involved in this thread after many years of dealing with herpes and finding love and a future with an incredible partner.

When I got diagnosed, I was depressed and sulked for months. After a few months, I reflected and said wtf am I doing. I have one life and am I really going to let herpes define me?? I said absolutely not. From that point I became the best version of myself. I got in the best shape of my life, excelled in law school and got an excellent job, and when I dated and disclosed I was confident in me and what I brought to the table. Because of that, my disclosures were always positive and herpes did not impact my sexual and dating life.

In reviewing this thread over the last week, I have seen many other people share similar experiences. I strongly agree with those posts that herpes becomes a non issue when you demonstrate to a potential partner that you are everything they see for a future husband/wife.

To the contrary, I see many posts where people seem to blame herpes, and herpes only, for negatively impacting their sexual and dating life. I’m not ignorant or dismissive to the stigma of herpes, the negative impact it has on our lives, and the difficulty in disclosing.

That said, I’m concerned many people in our community blame herpes alone for their current relationship or sexual status and that’s where I disagree. Let me explain.

I have a large friend group and work for a large company. Many of my friends are single. Let’s assume no one who is single in this group has herpes. So, the logical question is why are they single too? The answer is dating in our society is hard. Finding your person is hard. People look for certain qualities in a future partner, like looks, personality, career status and aspirations, and so on. My friends and colleagues who are single tell me constantly they don’t find those qualities in others, which is why their dates fizzle out and lead to nowhere.

What I’m trying to convey is I fear many of us might blame a disclosure for the reason a potential partner cuts things off. What I implore you all to ask yourselves is that really the reason why or are you just providing that person a scapegoat for underlying issues as to why the flame sizzled out.

Let me give an example. I lived with a girl who dated for years. She is very anti commitment and always looked for an easy way out to end things with a guy she didn’t see a future with after 2/3 dates. I can easily see if that guy the disclosed a herpes diagnosis, she would end things not because of herpes, but because she really didn’t like the guy in the first place,

To conclude this long rambling post, I strongly believe if someone really likes you for you, disclosing our diagnosis will be irrelevant. I want everyone here to be happy and love themselves, and I’m confident if you become the best version of yourself, herpes won’t matter.

Get in the gym, crush your career path, become an awesome person, and I believe you’ll find the same love that I have with my fiance. My tough love and advice is look in the mirror and ask yourself is it really herpes that is stonewalling your dating life or is it something else, just like the 20+ people I know in their 30s who are single and struggling to find their person because dating is hard.

I was diagnosed with genital herpes about a month ago and I have no libido at all since that. I am dating my boyfriend for 6 months now and I'm extremely attracted to him and I've always had very high libido. Now I get anxious when we're about to have sex. Scared that the friction will trigger and outbreak. Scared that I will pass it to him. I just want him to finish as soon as possible and I feel empty afterwards. I don't feel like myself anymore.

I probably got it from my previous relationship with my ex who cheated on me several times. I feel awful. Will it ever get better?

Did you contract it from receiving oral or did you catch it genital to genital? Did the person you got it from have an active outbreak at the time?

Edit: please include if oral sex was preformed on you with the partner you believe you caught it from. Especially within the average timeframe that HSV usually shows first symptoms

EDIT!! Have you ever passed HSV to someone else? Orally or genitally? Really curious

Before getting my hsv2 results, i was already struggling with my confidence and self esteem. I recently divorced and it has been so heavy. He cheated on me and i was already battling demons from all of that bs. I compare myself to so many beautiful women, and get depressed because i feel like im never enough. Then i get herpes. I feel numb, and i feel hopeless. I wont off myself, but god, do i think on it. It just feels like a battle every day. I’m doing my best to count my blessings. That i have job, an apartment, a family, and aside from this disease, a healthy body. But yeah. It has been….hard to move forward.

Any words of encouragement that got you by?

Hii, I’m a 17 year old girl who’s newly gotten diagnosed with hsv2 after an assault. I’m really sad that it’s gonna stay forever but the way i understood it really isn’t too much of a big deal, I just wonder how dating looks like for you guys? I really like a guy right now and I’m scared of disclosing it, any tips?

I matched with someone on Tinder who said that she is HSV2+. Okay, that's fine with me, I've dated women with HSV before.

However. She's not on any antivirals. She says she has one or two outbreaks a year and "knows" when they are coming on. I don't think it works that way. She's not looking for something long-term. So we would be using condoms if we hooked up.

I'm not comfortable with that risk. For a long-term partner? Maybe. But for a hookup? No.

But statistically, like per hookup, what do you think my odds of catching HSV are? Assuming that we are using condoms. I think it's like 0.1% if she's not having an active outbreak. I think it would have to be like one 100,000 for me to be comfortable. I think if she was on antivirals it would be more like one in a million per encounter.

Also she told me that her doctor told her that she would be wasting money by taking daily antivirals. Is that accurate? Doesn't seem accurate.

So I’m 21F with no insurance. I’d been celibate for two fucking years before hooking up with a guy and then started to get a bunch of symptoms. Even got a few fluid blisters and have been a in a lot of pain. My symptoms started 5 days ago and they’re pretty textbook herpes outbreak symptoms. All except the fever or swollen lymph nodes, I’ve only had the sore/rash.

So I go to the doctor and literally tell her that all I want is to know for sure whether I have it. She says I should be able to know. Charges me THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS for the blood test and appointment. And in the moment I’m crying bc fuck I’m broke but whatever, this is important. I get a call this morning saying I’m NEGATIVE but that it could “be too early to know” and that I should go ahead and start the antivirals, follow up in 10 days.

Well I’m not fucking doing that?!? Because I can barely afford the medicine and I’m not wasting anymore money at the doctor given I spent three hundred dollars for “we don’t really know fuck you”. Like now I’m stuck in the exact same position of “I probably have it but don’t really know” but now I have 300 less dollars in my bank account. Fml

I just got diagnosed with genital herpes. I think I know who gave it to me. I’m about to turn 23 in a week. I’ve been crying all morning. How do I navigate my life now

It all started after sex since May 6, 2026 and since then it has been hell. It started with tingling feeling on my penis tip and then it moved to frequent urge to pee. Sometimes I pee a lot and sometimes only a few drops. Then I noticed discoloration on my penis tip and around the penis opening. It was looking like it was inflamed.

Doctor thought it was UTI at first and then I was given some antibiotics which didn’t help. My urethra was constantly burning even when I pee or not. I was given another medication to help with that which turn my urine to orange for a few days because I was advised to take it for just a few days as it is not recommended long term.

I did all the necessary test to check for STD/STI and all came back negative. I was booked to see a specialist who did some test too and the result came back negative. We went further to test for hsv 1 & 2. The result came back positive for hsv1 and negative for hsv 2. The specialist doesn’t think my symptoms was as a result of the positive hsv 1 test. He recommended I take the medication which I did for 7 days with no improvement ( although it was after the second month I took it).

I was having nerve pain like at the underside of my penis and the tip of my penis hurt so bad from touching my underwear or cloth. I was given gabapentin which I thought was helping at first as I was also having nerve pain right under my left feet which feels a lot better now. My penis tip looks irritated with the skin by the opening looking like it is coming out.

He thought maybe it was my pelvic floor this time around and recommended baclofen which I took for a few days with no results but constant muscle pain. I can’t seat on my car anymore because it hurt so bad at my right butt cheek and the underside of my penis. I have lost all hope and can’t even sleep at night anymore. I notice I get flare up when I’m stressed and when I masturbate. I have only tried to touch myself 3 times since this whole thing started. First time my sperm was looking like it was light brown and the other times it was clear white. I don’t even have erection anymore. I used to have painful erection and ejaculation when it first started too but not anymore.

I’m so confused and depressed over this. It’s just like my life was taken away from me. I have been to so many doctors who don’t see anything wrong after all my repeated test result and I want to seek help from here. I noticed that the last time I tried to masturbate, my cum came with urine which got me really worried.

In all honesty I’m am glad that it is down below and not in my mouth I would’ve probably tweaked. But I got it from my child father. Unfortunately he did not disclose to me before we were intimate even after. I had to learn the hard way that it came from him after I gave birth to my baby. I understand that it is a touchy topic but a lot of people have it so much so that they are unaware. What I learned from this is that we should be careful who we share our bodies with and the reason why. Sex should be looked at a secretary not just a casual act.

My girlfriend has genital herpes and she gets flare ups pretty rarely as far as I know. She loves oral sex and I'd like to give it to her but I'm wondering if it's a smart thing to do.

I have some autoimmune related issues like vitiligo and lichen sclerosus that are most likely caused by long term extreme stress. My current lifestyle is not nearly as stressful anymore but I still feel like my stress tolerance is much lower than before. During more stressful periods I notice that I lose sleep etc. I've heard that stress can cause flare ups so I wonder if it's more risky for me to perform oral? I'm worried about getting constant flare ups because I get so easily stressed.

Any input would be appreciated.

I had a high fever, severe sore throat, and multiple mouth sores about 2 months ago. After recovering from the acute illness, I developed severe, persistent fatigue that hasn’t really improved. I subsequently tested positive for HSV-1.

I’m now in the third month and still feel extremely tired, particularly in my legs and calf muscles. I’ve also been experiencing blurred vision and a feeling of very sleepy eyes.

Has anyone experienced similar prolonged fatigue or symptoms after an infection, particularly after an HSV-1 diagnosis? If so, how long did the fatigue last, and did it eventually improve?

Good afternoon. I've been diagnosed with hsv2 since December 2025 and I started suppressive therapy in Feb 2026. My question is has anyone to their knowledge transmitted hsv2 to their partner while on daily suppressive therapy? I never miss a day and I take it around the sametime everyday . I take 1g of valtrex daily and have not had any outbreak since..I don't think so anyways . This is a tricky disease I haven't seen any blisters, ulcers etc but u do get random occasional tingling and nerve sensations that come and go pretty frequently but I don't think I am having actual outbreak bc I never develop any sores etc.. I just wanna know from others personal experiences to try calm my nerves as I navigate life with this curse . I am in a relationship with someone who is negative and he does not like using condoms even though where my initial outbreak was condoms wouldn't protect anyways but I just need some advice and inspiration or at reality check. Thanks in advance .

How fast did you guys got back your test from UW ?
I gotten back mine in a week time .. not sure if i trust this report coming from them, seeing most people getting it 3 weeks or so …

Well I’m not one for false hope, I was diagnosed with HSV2 2 years ago. Although I take valtrex and rarely have symptoms (only one outbreak since the initial one, so 2 in total) it’s still annoying carrying the virus. Also I’m gay and it’s not really a big thing in the community, but for others on here Moderna just made huge strides in a melanoma vaccine.

The vaccine is for people that have melanoma removed and they can take it to prevent recurrence/spreading. I don’t know intricate details about it, as it’s just making headlines now but it’s a massive deal. It’s the first ever cancer vaccine. Just see Moderna’s stock today.

I’m posting this because with the help of artificial intelligence and Moderna’s success, it does give me some hope. We should be rooting for Moderna in any way that we can, even though they stopped MRNA 1608 which was their herpes vaccine. I think the world needs to start trusting vaccines again, and this will be a very positive step in the right direction! Who knows, maybe in the future they can apply the same science to herpes. Here’s to hoping they are successful with this melanoma vaccine, it will help so many people out there.

Me F(29) him M(31). For context we’ve known each other for years through mutual people and I always had a little crush on him.

We started hanging out a few months ago; things are super fun. He’s intelligent, has emotional intelligence and capacity, he’s funny and we have lots of laughs; He has a lot of qualities I would want in a partner. We’ve only kissed so far but the last time we were together it was getting a bit heavier and that’s when he told me he has HSV-2 on the genitals (keep in mind we weren’t going to have sex but it was starting to lean in that direction). I told him I appreciated the disclosure and asked some general questions. He’s had it for about five years due to a hook up while travelling.

Previously I’ve done a lot of research as at one point I was told I had one of the strains of HSV due to my mom having cold sores my entire life but I’ve never had any time of flair up. Overall it was a nice convo and I’m glad he told me but now I’m feeling apprehensive. I won’t rush into anything physical until I’ve had time to make my informed decision but I hate how I’m feeling apprehensive now only because of the stigma around it. Not sure how to grasp my own feelings rn and I’m wondering what other people’s experiences have been. He also did share that his last relationship was not infected and he took meds/used condoms.