u/Square-Shape-4431

Hello, this maybe a TW account however I don't seen that been the case, I guess I just need to speak about things as I really dont know who to turn to at the moment.

I am not currently 100% diagnosed, I have been to the clinic earlier today as I've had some symptoms throughout the last week, I have a couple of days the before the results, however my symptoms are all pointing to a yes. I've spent the day non stop thinking about it all, who I think I could tell, how people are going to react and how I feel in myself.

I've apricated reading through this sub some posts make it sound like the end of the world and others have made me feel better about this situation currently I just feel really stuck.

I wont lie that I'm really upset at the moment and have been on the brink of crying many times, I think more than anything its how people will react, throughout my life it's always been seen as something disgusting and I cant just imagine how my friends and maybe even family will react, I've kind of convinced myself that there is no particular need to tell anyone ( I would 100% tell anyone I was going to be sexual or in a relationship with) but its coming with the burden of feeling so alone.

Going back to my symptoms I currently have a ulcer that when cleaning is causing me pain sometimes not bad other times absolutely awful, I can hands down say that the swabs at the clinic were the worst pain I think I've ever experienced, I am also having pain when urinating but honestly is not too bad in comparison its just knowing that I have to fall asleep to wake up and experience it all again for another day.

I'm sorry if this post seems like the ramblings of someone crazy I'm just all over at the moment mentally and physically and I am so scared to talk to anyone I actually know, I'd be very happy to chat to someone if you feeling like reaching out but please don't feel like you have too.

If you have taken the time to read this thank you so much atleast knowing some people understand my struggle makes me feel better.