Did you contract it from receiving oral or did you catch it genital to genital? Did the person you got it from have an active outbreak at the time?
Edit: please include if oral sex was preformed on you with the partner you believe you caught it from. Especially within the average timeframe that HSV usually shows first symptoms
EDIT!! Have you ever passed HSV to someone else? Orally or genitally? Really curious
Mary’s London content is cringing me out sooooo bad. Her stories about the tube kill me. Maybe it’s just because I moved to NYC from the south so all of it looks different to me? Maybe because I’ve done a big move before? Not sure but I genuinely can’t handle the cringe
Anyone else feel this way?
I (24F) have GHSV1. Got diagnosed/caught it earlier in the year.
I’m sorry but Jesus Christ can every girl on here freaking out about GHSV1 and disclosure and stuff chill out? Just tell them you get cold sores and leave it at that.
I know the research and statistics show that GHSV1 is way less contagious than OHSV1, but that doesnt matter. Once the word “genital” is out there… it’s over. Everything changes. It becomes a real thing- when it doesn’t need to be. No one hears the facts after “genital”. They hear nothing other than “genital herpes”. That isn’t fair.
Let people be ignorant. We don’t have to ruin our lives just to be “advocates” or “educators”. Like fuck that shit. Work with the stigma not against it. That’s how you keep a normal life.
You get cold sores. That’s it. Leave it there.
Stop making this shit so much of a bigger deal and messing up everyone else’s chances at a normal fucking life. Like this isn’t some shit that was bothering me until yall made me feel weird and dirty. That im worse than someone with OHSV1..??? Like bitch stfu.
If you approach GHSV1 as a big deal, that makes it a big deal.
I’m pissed. Everyone just shut it and let us with HSV1 live normally like people with oral cold sores do. If you have GHSV1… stop making it a big deal so the rest of us can be normal people. Stop making us look like lepers for no goddamn reason.
There is no way to fix the stigma. Not a single possible way. Stop fighting it and work around it. Stop ruining your life over stupid irrelevant shit like this.
I’m tired of yall making me feel gross and that this is some major life changing thing when EVERYONE HAS HSV1. And if your partner has cold sores already.. please spare me.
Everyone CHILL THE FUCK OUT!
Edit: what applies to HSV2 in terms of handling disclosure and the necessary aspects does NOT always apply to people with GHSV1. We are in different situations with different strains.
Just because something is required or customary for HSV2, does not under any circumstances mean it applies to HSV1.
Don’t get that mixed up and don’t let people with HSV2 convince you otherwise.
Doctors provide different advice depending on the strain. There is a reason anti virals aren’t recommended for GHSV1 as well as why we are told disclosure isn’t necessary!
I got diagnosed with GHSV1 two months ago. I feel like I don’t see a lot of people on here talking about GHSV1? Or if they are, the people don’t have GHSV1. Is it just super uncommon? Feeling confused and scared
I (25F) got diagnosed with genital HSV1 in may. I had an intense first outbreak. I then had another little bump pop up a month after the first OB cleared. It went away in a week and didn’t hurt. I never would have even noticed it if I wasn’t hyper aware of my lady bits now.
Anyways, when can I have sex again? I haven’t slept with anyone since I got diagnosed. There is a guy ive been talking to recently and we want to have sex. I told him that I have HSV1. His ex got cold sores so he was chill. No I did not mention the genital part. DO NOT CRUCIFY ME.
Is it safe to have sex? I also want to see if sex is going to be a trigger for me…. I will die if that is the case. Please any gentle and nonjudgmental advice would be greatly appreciated!
Kinda long but plz stick with me here!
I got diagnosed with GHSV1 earlier in the year. I had a pretty bad outbreak after having sex with a casual recurring (only guy i was sleeping with) partner. We have intense rough sex. Immediately after the last time we hooked up, i became EXTREMELY sore and swollen. It was so bad i texted him about it after he went home. I had a raw patch of skin on the inside of my thigh/bottom of vagina pop up a day or so later. I assumed it was a friction burn. Well A few days later the swelling has gone down but my lady bits were still sooo irritated and red. I also started to get itchy. You know where this is going… i had a full blown outbreak. I went to dr and guess what? That man also ripped me right down my perineal.. looked like i gave birth. No stitches were needed tho. She told me that the itchy patches (i had two now) weren’t HSV and diagnosed me with something else. I also had a yeast infection and BV. I was in BAD shape yall seriously. I still got a STD full panel when I was there... I tested positive for HSV1.
Edit for clarification: she called me and told me she misdiagnosed me after my results came back. Told me I have GHSV1
So here is what i need everyone to think on:
I dated my ex for a few months and we broke up a year ago. I remembered today about this one time we couldn’t have sex because he had a friction burn on his penis. He told me not to worry because it’s happened to him before when he was wearing jeans once. I saw it and it looked ok so i just believed him. Well… google is showing pics of GHSV1 that look exactly what he had on his penis.
I assumed i got it from the guy i most recently slept with. The timeline and everything lines up. But now.. im not so sure. We had superrrr rough sex and obviously I wasn’t wet enough, hence the tearing. I also was sick at the time with a long standing cold I couldn’t get rid of while all of this happened.
Could I have had this for a year and not known..? Was it activated from the rough sex, yeast infection, BV, perineal tearing combo?
Or am I right to assume it was the guy ive recently been sleeping with that passed it to me?
What do you guys think? I’m super confused.
Disclaimer: I always use protecting with my most recent partner. My ex? We raw dogged a few times for sure. Not super often though. I also saw both of their STD test results. Clean. But as we know HSV isn’t on there. I also am prone to vaginal infections. It sucks
HELP!
Does genital HSV1 truly shed less than other types of herpes? I have seen this talked about a lot of times on the sub, but I have also not seen any stories of GHSV1 transmission through genital asymptomatic shedding.
If someone does not have any open sores on their genitals, how are people getting GHSV1? How is it being passed around from those that have it (outside of outbreaks)?
Sorry if these are dumb questions. I am newly diagnosed and confused about what the facts are. Any help is appreciated
Has anyone here gotten GHSV1 from genital to genital contact? All of the scientific literature I’ve read pretty much says that GHSV1 is hard to transmit that way and it’s rare. I got it from oral sex. Everyone I’ve seen on here has said that too.
Do you know anyone that got it from genital to genital contact? Specifically from when no sores were present?
I (26F) just found out I have genital HSV1. Got it from a recurring partner after he went down on me. I can’t figure out what to do and I really need help. No judgment please.
Before I begin, im so sorry but I will not be fully disclosing to my future partner. I simply cannot do it especially within my community. And I want to be with someone that is in my usual dating pool. I’m not settling for someone just because they accept my herpes. Sorry. I’m not. So I have to figure out a way around this. Aside from not uhhhh.. existing if you will. If you know what I mean.
Anyways, like I said I have GHSV1. I don’t want to pass it to anyone, but I also do not want this to change my life. I’ve been thinking about it a lot and this is my idea:
I will inform my partner (I only sleep with serious/long term partners), but not with the entire truth. I am going to keep it vague, but still true.
I will ask if they have ever gotten cold sores. I am assuming they will ask me back. Regardless of what they say, I am going to tell them im a carrier of HSV1. That I tested positive, but im not sure where it is in my body. I will take the convo from there. Encourage him to research and stuff. I will have it end with them knowing that they can get HSV1 either genitally or orally. They are 100% going to know that both of those are a real possibility. I will also go have him get tested as well. I am obviously going to take all precautions I can. I always use condoms and know the warning signs of a breakout (even though I didn’t have any the first time lol). I really don’t want to pass it to anyone.
If he ends up actually contracting it genitally (orally is usually whatever- not relationship deal breaker), I will say it must have been from me going down on him. Because that’s how it usually transmits (extremely true- genital to genital transfer is rare). It would definitely shake up the relationship, but he can’t be mad at me or spread around the news. He would have to keep his HSV1 a secret too. Trust me, I know the kind of guys I date.
If I end up having another outbreak (unlikely) it won’t be a surprise. He always knew it was a possibility I had it genitally. Even though he probably will assume it was orally. At this point we would already be together and he already was cool with it prior to the outbreak.
This is the most gentle way for me to do it I think.
I won’t have to worry about a ton of rejections. Especially since I would never be able to be with a man I really want to be with (don’t try to convince me otherwise- I know my dating pool and im not lowering my standards) if I disclosed straight up. Rumors would also go around.. reputation, dead. Social life, dead. My whole life would be just… no im not going to straight up tell the whole truth. Absolutely not.
All of this could definitely go left and not work out but.. im willing to take that risk. He will never ever know that I already knew where I had it. It will be better that way.
Has anyone done this before? What was the outcome? Did your partner get it? How did they feel?
Please give me all your knowledge. I need it.
No judgement please.
I (28M) just got diagnosed with genital HSV1. My girlfriend of 9 months gave it to me. Here is what happened: at the very beginning of our relationship she told me she had HSV1. She found out from a blood test when she asked for one. Her mom, dad, and sister all get cold sores, but my gf said she had never had one. She mentioned that the doctor told her it could be “anywhere” including genitally and orally. She told me she may never know because sometimes people can only have one outbreak or she could be asymptomatic. She was even a little paranoid about it because she has no idea where it is in her body and didn’t want to pass it to me. She told me to research it and stuff. I did and decided that the risk wasn’t big enough to not date her. I love her. But i am so mad at her now that she passed it to me. We are assuming it was because she gave me oral while symptomatically shedding.
Is it wrong for me to be so pissed at her for this? I feel like our relationship will never be the same. I don’t know how to get past this now that she did this to me.
I (26F) tested positive for HSV1 a few weeks ago. I am unsure of location or if I am asymptomatic. However, I know ive never had a cold sore and I have a lil sneakkyyy feeling I may have it genitally. The reason I think this is because I have a long history of gynecological issues as well as skin issues. I will have a really terrible yeast infection (sometimes with BV at the same time!) every year-two years. I also have really bad excema and get it all over my body- including my lady area. After talking with my doctor I am actually 97% convinced I had an outbreak at some point and just didn’t recognize it. My doctor said there is no way for me to know right now.. or maybe ever. Woah. I hate that. Anyways, this seemed super scary at first. Especially since I went and read this sub after testing positive. But honestly… I seriously don’t care that I have HSV1. I really don’t. This hasn’t really impacted my life up until now. At least that I know of.
My doctor told me that I don’t have to tell anyone about testing positive as most people do or would if they got tested themselves. She also said that they don’t test for it on normal panels because of situations like mine. There is just absolutely no way to know the details of it right now. And it causes unnecessary distress and emotional turmoil for people. However, she did say that I should let any long term partners I have know that I do have HSV1 in general.
Tbh none of this is sounding terrible to me? Idk why everyone on here is freaking tf out. I feel like I can say this too especially since I am almost certain I have it genitally (even if asymptomatic im almost positive this is the infection site). I have done so much research and met with my doctor about this twice just because I want to understand it and my situation. I feel now that I have a good idea of how to move forward. I don’t see this as that big of a deal! I will inform any serious partner I have in the future, and I will obviously get swabs done if I ever happen to have something come up. Other than that.. im going to keep living my fucking life. Nothing has changed. Im not going to subject myself to the social stigma and have a complete life meltdown over this. Am I wrong for that?
Also, yes I can recognize that having symptoms of any kind are very distressing. Especially if you are one of the unlucky few that actually not only gets symptoms but recognizes them. Also they obviously suck! HSV sucks! I also recognize that GHSV1 is different from both GHSV2 and OHSV1. With shedding rates + recurrences + anti viral treatments etc. So this post is for ME in MY personal situation. It is different for everyone. However, herpes has never freaked me out- ive always been open to dating guys with HSV. Maybe I just have a more open view about it?
Side note for anyone that needs it:
I know I am new here, but this sub is actually awful. Stop making HSV+ people feel like aliens. It’s ridiculous. It’s not that fucking deep. It’s inappropriate to shame people for something like this. It’s heartless. Stop making people feel gross, unwanted, or like a biohazard. Yes, people have a right to have HSV as a dealbreaker, sure. Nothing wrong with that. However, the attitude in which everyone on here is approaching HSV and disclosure is WRONG! Stop pushing people who are already struggling into even more hurtful and difficult places. Stop isolating people. How someone chooses to handle their diagnosis and how to move forward in life with it is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!
YOU ARE NOT THE HERPES POLICE. don’t forget that.
I (26F) have been consistently mentally manipulated by my mother for my entire life. I think. I can’t tell if she does it on purpose or what… but she literally makes me question my own reality sometimes.
Let me give a quick example so you can tell me if im crazy or not.
When i was growing up, i was taught that when one of our animals does something it isn’t supposed to, we “pop” (hit) them. That is how my father taught me and my sister how to discipline our pets. However, I’ve never been a hitter and never listened to this- im never going to hit an animal i love. There were a few other things my father would do that 100% is animal abuse now that im looking back on it. Anyways my sister got a new puppy recently. I was talking to my mom on the phone when i heard my father snap at the new puppy. After we got off the phone i texted my mom to tell my father to not hit the dog. She starts acting confused and as if it was outrageous that i would even suggest that they have ever laid a hand on their dogs. Said “sorry you feel that way but that’s not true”. Completely denying the entire thing. I said “i know what i was taught and i know what i saw”. She continues to push back and treat me like im crazy and just out to get them.
This is a bigger example. Usually it’s just little shifts in stories or tiny changes wording or intention. It fucks with my head so bad. Am i going insane?
Another example: she always says how great of a dad my father was (yeah right….) and how he was so involved with us as kids. He would take us on field trips and stuff. That’s true- she’s right there. However he was SO emotionally absent and never really truly there. She ALWAYS fights against this when i mention it. Oh? But when it benefits her argument? All of the sudden my dad was “always off getting drunk”. And when i say “ive been saying that forever! You always disagree” she goes “that isn’t what a said”. And shifts the wording/meaning behind what she said justttt enough to make it mean or sound different.
AM I INSANE