r/toxicparents

I am 21f. I'm really really done with my family. I'm very disappointed. When I was very young 13 yrs old I found out that my father was cheating on my mother. I cried that day alot and I didn't know what to do. I saw his WhatsApp chats ( more like sexting) with my school mate's mother. I was very broken and confronted my mother but she never believed me and thought this all was not a very big deal and all. This has been for years like I was in 6th and passed 12th. And then one day my mother saw my father with our house maid. At that time she was completely broken and started yk raising ques and fighting alot of drama happened. Her blood pressure and diabetes were quite high at that period, she was not able to sleep, and she continuously kept talking about that all literally everytime. Even when she is alone or with someone. She didn't share this to any other than our family. When I saw my mother in this state I felt very pity and started hating my father which was obvious. He was very inconsistent with us throughout our lives. And when that all happened rather than maintaining distance from she started trying to get close to him. And my father is abusing and treating her like an animal. I hated this all so much and tried my best to realise her worth and yk maintain distance. She can't leave him or get divorce because she don't have any financial back up and we were quite young. I'm an elder sister here. I have younger brother and sister. Somehow things got back to normal as time passed. So now a few days back I randomly went to his shop without telling him. And I saw that a lady and him on the first floor of our shop which is used as a godown. I was very furious I started shouting and whatever I could do at that moment. Whatever happened at that just made me hate him more. And I told my mother everything at that very moment. I begged her to maintain distance with him because he has been multiple females and I am so done with this all. But after that day she is back to normal with him. And doing everything for him. Making him lemonade so that he'll have it when he comes from the shop in the evening. And yk this morning I saw their bedroom was locked ( they keep it locked in one case only). And I felt so betrayed of course I don't know what's going on between them but I am so so done with this all. This is all affecting my studies, my mind, my sleep and everything. I don't know what to do in this situation. I can't share this all with anyone around. I share with my siblings but they are young and dumb 😭 they feel hurt but idk yaar I don't feel okay after sharing with them. What should I do now :(

the last 3 days my mother has been verbally and emotionally abusing me. I was in the process of selling my car to my grandma (because my grandma said she’d buy the car off of me to keep for my mother instead of the bank repossessing the car). my grandma asked me what is the plan, I shared with her that we have till the 10th of the month to pay off the vehicle. as the last few payments I wasn’t able to make since I lost my job and have been fighting to manage my disabilities. I was denied insurance through the state so I haven’t been on my medications and I haven’t been able to see the doctor.

my mother came to my room and told me that I didn’t tell her the same information that I told my grandma. I stood firm and repeated that I did (but it honestly doesn’t concern her as there’s no payments coming from her to pay off the vehicle). I ask her why she has an attitude and is getting into my business with grandma and my mother then starts to tell me “i’ve been so successful in my life, I bought a house at 27, owned my own business, had my own car, had a relationship, and what do you have? a bedroom” this had me gagged for a moment and I said back, “you also lost your house, lost your business, lost your car, lost your relationships, and where are you at? living with your parents” she yelled back down the hall at me “you’re a horrible person, you’re a horrible son, you’re a horrible human” I shut and locked my door and was in my room the rest of the evening.

the next morning I left my room early and grabbed my car keys because in my mind, my mother was not going to drive my car anywhere without an apology. (mind you… I have never received an apology from her in my life). so I go to the bathroom and I couldn’t do anything unfortunately, IBSC/no meds/stress/not enough water whole combo. so I leave the bathroom and my mother is standing in my room and asked if I had taken the keys. I said that I did and about 50 times she yells at me “give them to me!” no, I am not giving you a reward for treating me poorly especially as my mother. she starts looking around and trying to find my keys and I shout at her to “get out of my room!” I physically push her out and shut and lock my door and she screams at me through the door “i’m taking your door off the hinges! fuck you POS! YOURE A HORRIBLE FING PERSON” I was shaking so bad on the verge of calling 911 saying that I was in a hostile situation if she took my door.

well… I didn’t end up leaving my room till 1130pm so over 12 hours later to go to the bathroom and I noticed that all of my rugs and shower curtains are taken… stuff that I paid for, is she really this petty? to take away something for me to bathe myself?

I go downstairs to get water in my water bottle so i have something in my system and I talk to my grandma who spends her time in the living room on her phone, she doesn’t respond so I walk up to her after my water bottle is full and say “hello??” she looks up from her phone and I ask her “so my mother just gets to take whatever she wants around here?” my grandma says “well she paid for them and you took the keys” I look at her in such disgust and say, “yes I took the keys because she disrespected me. she is a liar and now I guess also a thief. I paid for all my bathroom supplies” I pull up the receipt and show my grandma and she tells me “well then you need to take it up with her” I took a deep breath and said, “you know, where were you the last couple days while I was being terrorized? I know you aren’t deaf” “what am I supposed to do?” she asks me I roll my eyes because she always takes my mothers side on any occasion. I look at her one last time and tell her, “for that, not showing up for me, you’re a bitch. and fuck you our relationship is over from this point forward”

today, my mother has slammed doors and been all around my items that aren’t in my room so who knows what’s been touched.
I come here tonight because I haven’t left my room from last night and I haven’t ate in 4 days now and I know I need to go to the bathroom but I am so scared of leaving my room. I feel like a hostage in my own house

This will be long.

My mom and I (43F) have always had a good relationship. We never argue or really even disagree about things. And I've realized this is an anomaly considering literally everyone I know has a difficult relationship with their mom.

My mom married my stepdad when I was 6. I was close to him too and they had a good marriage. He died 16 years ago of cancer. After he died, she went into a deep depression. Told me things I shouldn't know as a daughter (how when he was diagnosed she asked him if he wanted her to drive off a bridge together so they could die together). This has been stuck in my brain since. She drank a lot for awhile. Would drive drunk occasionally. No legal trouble. After he died multiple family members died within the span of a few years. Lots of tragedy in the family. And somehow the roles reversed. She kept using me as a therapist. Telling me things I don't need to know. Coming to me for all of her problems. I have clinical depression, anxiety and also really had health anxiety. She calls me a lot about her ailments. Her illnesses. Even something as simple as lab work. And every time, it triggers me in a major way. She had a GI procedure done a few weeks ago and before she went in she told me she hoped she'd wake up from the anesthesia. Instant anxiety until she came out.

It all came to a head yesterday. She had something weird happen with her vision. She was driving home. Called my sister. Then called me "I just talked to your sister and I told her I was calling you immediately." I'm not a doctor or nurse. What can I do? Immediately my body goes into fight or flight. I have no idea what to do. I tell her to come to my house and I start to drive her to the ER. Then she tells me its not as bad. And for the first time in oh, 40+ years. I lost it. I didnt yell. I didnt scream. But I told her until she knows shes actually having a medical emergency, I dont want to hear it. She got angry. I told her sometimes I feel like her mom and she's my daughter. Well that set her off. Told me to take her back to her car. I told her this is why I don't tell people how I feel because it ends up with me having to make sure they are okay and basically f*ck my feelings. When I got back to the house she wouldn't even hug me. Told me "you said some hurtful things" and left.

My mom can hold a grudge. I love her. But I don't want to apologize. Because what I said was the truth. Family members see it, my partner sees it, friends see it. They've all said she treats me as a therapist or even a friend. But she's my mom. I want the mother/daughter relationship. But I think this has forever changed our relationship. She was supposed to come here Monday before leaving to go to Europe and tonight she texted she's coming Tuesday. I don't know how to navigate this. I dont want to get into another argument. I wish I didnt lose my temper. But I also wish that I am, once again, not having to be the adult. My fear is that she'll say something like "never mind, I'll just see you when I get back" (in 2 months) and if I respond "okay" she'll then accuse me of not caring. I don't want her coming here Tuesday and acting weird. I've told her multiple times she should see a therapist. I see one and it's done wonders but the one constant trigger is my mom. What I said needed to be said. But I have no idea how to navigate this going forward because I'm almost positive she's going to turn this into a guilt trip. I'm not used to arguing with anyone, but especially my mom. My life is very quiet and calm and this has really thrown me the last 24 hours.

I honestly need some coping methods since the negativity is really starting to get to me.

I have severe social anxiety and depression episodes. I am always isolated in my room and make zero social interaction and when some relatives come visit I greet them and stay isolated. They keep pushing me out of this telling me that it's disrespectful and rude to have guests and ghost them. Also I refuse to sit with my family all the time, not that I hate them but I feel extremely uncomfortable if I am not alone so I just leave to sit alone somewhere. My grandma keeps telling my mom that I hate her and that I do mean stuff (when I literally just do nothing but avoid any social interaction) and she won't be visiting again so my mom hated me and keeps telling me that I am a grumpy dude and everyone hates me even her. Also she keeps telling me that I do nothing but sit on my a$$ on weekends despite the fact that I workout consistently and work a full time job, have a bachelor's degree and prepare for post grad studies. She makes me doubt myself and feel like a failure and brings me down emotionally which affects my well-being. She constantly compares me to my father (they've been divorced since years) and tells me to move out and I am actually saving up for this and would do it before year end.

throwaway acc. i don't usually go here, but i just felt like letting this out.

Something my mother had said recently about my use of gadgets ticked me off and it got me thinking as to why? Why is it such a big deal, not to her, but to me?

I don't really have much of a life beyond my school, home, and phone. I'm not allowed to go out, hang out with friends (even if we had just gotten out of school), go to their houses, or have social media. I'm definitely breaking that last rule though. There's little to no possibility that I'd ever considering doing the same to the previous ones. My house is pretty far from all my friends. We don't have a car, no way I'll be able to commute to and back without being noticed, etc. That's why I treasure my phone so much because otherwise, I wouldn't have a way to contact my friends. I wouldn't have a life beyond what the most I can do at school and what is expected of me at home.

My family life isn't all that great either. A cheating, disloyal, and emotionally unavailable addict of a father. An exhausted, overbearing, emotionally unstable mother who takes her anger out on her children. Siblings who have grown apathetic to their surroundings. Every now and then, there's a period where everything will be fine, we'll laugh, smile, go out and eat, the whole ordeal. But the usual is just a scene out of the most miserable movie that I'm unfortunately a cast member of.

Sometimes, my best friend and I will talk about making it out, and becoming free from all of the burdens we've had to deal with so far. She's fought her own battles too.

It's making me question though if it'll ever actually get better. One minute, I'm sending a voice note to a friend, laughing my ass off. The next, me and my mother are arguing.

I know how much of a bitch I can and have been, especially recently. But I'm just really tired. I'm exhausted. I know my situation isn't the worst. Far from it. I feel guilty complaining when I know how privileged I really am if I even so much as take a second to acknowledge that all my needs are provided for. But still, it's just really sad.

I'm about to graduate high school and I've never gotten to hang out with my friends, go to someone else's house, even consider having a crush, take photobooth pics, or just make memories with the people I love most without being in my fucking uniform.

I'll be going to college soon and I'm so scared that I'll just end up like my older siblings. One who went in with a dream but failed and ended up having to start from scratch at a campus way far out. One who doesn't say much about their dreams or what they want to become. I don't even know what I want to be. Who I want to be.

I can't fathom a future wherein I'm a uni student, hanging out, going to concerts with my friends, going to pep rallies and events, and dating a handsome boy who won't hurt and fail me like everyone else in my life has.

What if everything just ends tomorrow? What then? I never got to do anything I actually wanted. If I never got to grow out of being a girl who uses humor and self-depreciation because she's scared of having to unpack more than what's already laid bare, I think I'd be pretty disappointed in what I've achieved in life so far.

I hope it doesn't end yet but I would also feel a sense of relief if it did.

Long story short

I (16M) was talking to my friends group while playing mc, I got a little too loud and my dad heard me talking in the way I do with that friends group, he came in and yelled at me to “turn off this shit now what the fuck”

And said as I quote.
Said he didn’t raise a “little nigger hood rat” and how I was talking was disrespectful. And I’m no longer allowed on until he sees fit, and that he wonders how many other egos he missed.

He went on a whole emotional journey while talking to me saying it hurts to hear me act like that and how disappointed he was and he didn’t raise me like that. He tried guilt tripping me about how he’s a single father even.

I admit I was talking like how my friends talk. But it’s because I mimic people, but they aren’t what he called me, we all just fuck around sometimes and it gets heated.

What The Fuck Do I Do.

For people who has f up family and no friends no support system, did you successfully gray rock toxic/narcissistic family members ?was it easy?

I struggle badly with this i always promise myself to not engage but at the end i end up doing it ,telling them details about my life my struggles my thoughts then i regret it. I cant seem to find a resolution i always end up emotionally wounded.

I don't know why i forget, can't keep things to myself knowing that they will hurt me ....i feel naive being vulnerable with the wrong people cz you have no one else in your life.

I have alot if anger towards them but when it comes to talking to them again i just do it without thinking sometimes after arguments or a fight i stay reserved for about a week then go back to the same old sht.

When I was a kid, I had perfectly straight hair, and I wore it down every single day. But that all changed one day because of my mom. She has curly hair that she always keeps tied up, and she suddenly decided that my straight hair was "annoying to look at."

She demanded that I keep my hair tied up at all times. This wasn't a gentle request, either—she literally pulled my hair hard when she forced me to start doing it. So, I did what I was told and kept it tied up constantly.

Fast forward to the present day: my hair is no longer straight. Because it was tied back for so long, it is now wavy and absolutely refuses to flatten down when it's dry.

But the absolute worst part is how she tries to rewrite history. Whenever people ask why I always wear my hair tied up, my mom jumps in and tells them that I just "randomly started tying my hair up one day."

Even when I confront her and remind her that she is the exact reason I started having it tied up, she completely denies it. She always insists that she never told me to do it, completely ignoring the fact that she physically pulled my hair to enforce her rule back then.

Throwaway for obvious reasons. I (F, adult) had a major fight with my mum and we’ve stopped talking. It’s not an ongoing daily thing, but this incident was bad enough that I need space.
During the argument she:
Spiritually cursed me (said she doesn’t wish well on my life / basically put a curse on me).
Agreed that she shouldn’t have had me (regretted having me).
Called me stupid.
Went heavy on the guilt trip: “After everything I’ve done for you…”
Insisted “I’m older, I’m your mum, you must respect me” while refusing to show me any respect as her daughter.
When I pointed out the double standard, she raised her voice, got angry, and said multiple times that she would kick me out of the house if I don’t follow her rules.
I’ve tried to have calm conversations about respect going both ways before, but it always ends with her getting defensive and escalating. This latest one crossed a line for me.

Looking for advice on whether stepping back / low contact makes sense here, especially while still living at home. Thanks.

Hi everyone,

This is my second post here. For some additional context, you can check out my other posts in my profile.

Basically, I (25M) live in an apartment in the same building where I was raised. My family owns four apartments in the building, and my grandma gave one to me when I was 22 so I could make it my own and live more independently.

The problem is that my parents have never respected my privacy. When I was still living with them, they didn't respect my personal space, and that behavior continued even after I moved into my own apartment.

For example, they once used the emergency spare key I had left with them and later justified it by saying:

"We didn't have any ice in our freezer, so we came and took some from yours. That's okay, right?"

That incident led to my first serious boundary. I told them clearly that they could not enter my apartment when neither my girlfriend nor I were there.

They now live in another city and usually come back to their apartment in the building about once a month. In general, they continue to disregard my and my girlfriend's personal space. I have been trying to establish firm boundaries, but they always seem to look for ways around them.

Current situation

Yesterday, my mom came to town with a friend and will be staying for about a week because of some medical appointments. She texted me saying she was in town and needed to give me some money back for something I had paid for on her behalf.

I replied that we weren't home and suggested that we arrange a time to meet sometime during the next few days. She said okay.

Then, at around 10:40 PM, she texted me again. Because of her drinking habits, she apparently wanted ice and didn't have any. Since they don't live in the apartment full-time, the fridge is usually turned off. Her message was:

"Did you guys get home? I need some ice, if possible."

I didn't respond.

This morning, I told her that I found that request inappropriate because contacting me that late at night over something non-urgent like ice was not acceptable.

She gave a brief apology and then immediately shifted into what felt like a victim role. Her response was essentially something like:

"I'm sorry. I arrived late after 9 PM and needed something from you. But if you find that inappropriate, that's okay. I won't bother you anymore."

The tone felt very passive-aggressive and self-victimizing.

At some point in the next few days, I'll probably see her for five minutes so she can give me the money she owes me. However, I feel like this kind of behavior is going to continue.

I honestly think she might be capable of exaggerating or even fabricating problems—such as claiming there's an urgent issue in the apartment or a health emergency—just to get my attention and create situations where I have to come see her.

My questions

How do I stop feeling guilty for setting boundaries with her?

Was my response appropriate and firm enough?

How should I handle situations where she claims there's an emergency, knowing that I'm only three doors away?

If she starts exaggerating or faking apartment issues or health concerns to get my attention, what's the best way to respond without getting pulled back into the same dynamic?

Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

EDIT #1 : I took the spare key back right after they used for breaking in when I was not home

EDIT #2: I am seeing a therapist since the start of 2026 and I feel much better

My little brother committed suicide on June 21, 2026 (Fathers Day) and since then she has been to overwhelmed and grieving and so have I. I drove her to the funeral home and she made his arrangements and that’s about it. I went ahead and stepped up since my brothers funeral is tomorrow and she hadn’t been responding to the pastor’s call, she didn’t pick out his clothes or anything, she couldn’t go to his house and clean the room out because it was hard. I get it, but I am his only sister and I went ahead and set my grief to the side and started moving forward with everything. My husband and I had to clean out that same room where he passed away at, make his obituary, pick out his clothes for the funeral, ect. Then she decided on Monday she would start to make the funeral arrangements and I was fine with that. I was asked to come by and drop off his service clothes and when doing so, she started to make little unnecessary comments to be and being very rude. I tried my best to not speak my mind since she was going through a lot and I spoke out against her which then mad her yell and swear at me. She then went and texted my husband threatening to call the cops if I was to show up tomorrow for my little brother’s funeral. Since are argument, I went ahead and apologized but she hasn’t responded or reached out to me. What do I do? Do I go ahead and attend his funeral anyway? He will be cremated so I can’t go visit his grave or anything. (My mom and I have always had a horrible, toxic relationship and I have always tried my best to be there for her but she is a narcissist and doesn’t understand how much pain my brother was in before he committed it is only about her pain and family members are sympathetic to her without realizing that is my little brother and I am grieving too.

my parents, even from an early age constantly nag on me not having a gf / not being romantically active and it always set me off how much they cared. And it feels like they only care this much about it because they get to show off other family members + friends that their son isn’t a loser/failure + them wanting grandkids.

Idk if it's fine to feel this way. So I am a high scl graduate and currently living with my parents. My mom is controlling af. If I do everything according to her I am just fine but the moment I refuse smthg she goes on full reporter mode who hands me everything she has done for me which are just basic stuff. Rn I am preparing for medical exams and my mental health is just destroyed by my mother. I hate being around her but I have nowhere to go. Sometimes I wanna end my life. When she has nothing more to taunt about she goes full on bully mode and criticizes my body. I was never this insecure about myself. I just can't study and do normal stuff like eating when she is around. I am just tired of her.

For starters, I (21F) do NOT have a good relationship with my parents right now. That's an entirely different conversation for maybe another post, but I cannot, for the life of me, understand why my parents don't like my boyfriend.

They refuse to be around him and have only met him twice total (my dad has met him twice, mom only once), and we have been together for 3 years.

From the get-go, they have been standoffish when he is spoken about (so I don't speak about him much), they don't like his parents (which, fair enough I guess... despite the fact that they've only met one time in passing), they said that he "smelled weird" when they met him, and they overall refuse to have a relationship with my BF. Note that my boyfriend is Italian.

With my sister (24F), however, they adore her partner of 6 months and involve him in everything that they do with my sister. It's, quite frankly, fucking annoying as they're already engaged and my parents barely know the guy.

My BF is a shy and VERY anxious guy. He hates meeting new people, but has an awkward charm that I find attractive and hilarious at times. He is on medication for anxiety, but he tried to make an effort when meeting my parents to talk and to be presentable (he had on a nice sweater and jeans, wore cologne, etc.). He loves video games and books (my dad does, too), and loves architecture and plants (like my mother). So I don't get the issue??

It's like they've already made up their mind about him, so I've been forced to just pick and choose what parts of my life to involve them in, which is something that I don't want to do anymore.

I would say that I am definitely my mother's favorite, but I honestly don't think that my dad has a favorite kid. But what's the issue here? Why do they refuse to meet this guy when he's a decent guy and are willing to harm their relationship with their kid because of it?

Thanks, Reddit. This is my first post, yes, but I am not a bot, so please be kind to me. Am half posting this for a class assignment, and half posting this because I'm frustrated as hell over the issue.

TLWR (To long won't read) I went no contact with my biological mother. I am thinking about reaching out to find closer so I can move on. Skip to last paragraph.

I went no contact with my biological mother 6 years ago. Before that we just never talked. Long story short my sister and I were birth control failed, condom broke babies so to say that she didn't want us is putting it LIGHTLY. Growing up was a lot of emotional and verbal abuse with the occasional physical abuse. The physical abuse stopped when we got old enough to be able to hit back and could actually defend ourselves.

At that time I was still somewhat talking to her she was constantly threating to go into the middle of no where, kill herself and no one would ever find her. Sometimes she would just make the threat Monday morning and by Monday afternoon it was like nothing ever happened. When that stopped getting people's attention she upgraded to saying her final good byes and runaway for a few days. Yet again when that wouldn't give her the attention she wanted days turned to weeks, weeks into months. Every. Single. Time when someone in the family caved and got worried I was the one who had to call her. They would try while she was "missing" but she just wouldn't answer. When it got to the point I had to call she would know that it was time to end the games.

All of this was on other people's time. I live in Idaho and they live in Maryland so there is like a 3 hour time difference between us. It didn't matter if I was at work or if I had plans. When they decided it was time for me to call her I had to put my entire life on hold to call her to tell her it was time to knock it off. I don't know where to mentioned this but she is an unmedicated bipolar with huge conspiracy paranoia. We are talking celebrities bathing in aborted fetus's blood to stay young conspiracy nut job. Her medication is poison to her soul. We all just need to accept her for who she is without it. Therapy is waste of time and something about the government tracking something. Her rants are so delusional that you easily tune here out.

When she went so far off the deep end that she told the police her usual kill herself plan. The county police department blew her up on Facebook, twitter and because she never went to the police before it had everyone in the family freaking out. I was at work getting my phone blown up that this time was real, she really did it this time, etc. I ran out of work barely saying what was happening. When I got home I called her and she answered the phone like it was just another day. I can't describe how nonchalant she was when she answered. Overall she didn't care how the family felt, the time being wasted by the police, how I was getting in trouble at work because of the constant family problems.

6 years ago I met my now fiancé and when things got serious I was terrified how her drama would effect us. That's when I wrote her the letter saying until she gets back on her meds and get the help she desperately needs I couldn't play this game any more. She took the letter as a goodbye because she wasn't going to change knowing it meant losing any chance of a relationship with me. Some days are easier than others. Some days are like FDB (Fuck Dat Bitch) by Young Dro and other days I want to crawl into a hole and cry. How could she feel so little about her own child? Seeing my mother in law with my fiancé and his sister, our friend's having kids now and how they would do anything for their kids. How does she not care? I know that as long as she refuses to take her meds, refuse to go to therapy and not want to be better I am better without her. I still feel this invisible cord connecting me to her.

As long as this cord is there I don't see how I could possibly move completely pass this. When I talk and think about it I keep circling back to the whys. Why did she hate us so much? Why if she didn't want us let anyone take us away? Why did she let me go without even a response? The only reason why I know she took my letter as a goodbye was because my aunt told me. She was upset about it and didn't want this to be the way but the maternal fight for her child never kicked in. I was thinking about going to see her to confront her with my whys. I know it won't end in rainbows and sunshine. Knowing her she is going to blame anyone and everyone but herself. I know I won't get answers but maybe what I do get even if it's nothing could give me that closer for that cord to finally be broken.

Has anyone ever tried to reach out after going no contact and get any kind of closer? Even if it went bad did it help in anyway to make this feeling go away? Did you find a way to make this feeling go away?

A while ago, my parents set up a security camera in the main room downstairs. It was originally intended for security reasons, but they use it to watch over my siblings and me. For example, if I come home even a literal second late (not exaggerating; I came home at 10 p.m., closed the door, and the time turned to 10:01), they will pull up footage of me walking through the door with timestamps and punish me. They also do this when it comes to cleaning; they don't clean but have my siblings do it, and I clean for them every day of the week and will go back to check if they did it. Sometimes they can spend almost half an hour reviewing footage to see if we did something. If we don't clean, they will block our internet until we pay them $5-10 to clean our areas if we don't do it on time or well enough. We also pay rent. One of my siblings and I think this is weird and kind of controlling, but my other siblings think it's normal. Is this toxic?

I'm 17 (in school)and honestly don't know what to do anymore. I feel completely alone and trapped in my own home.

For years, my parents have blamed me for things I never did. Almost every day, both of them use abusive language towards me, insult me, and make me the target of their anger. My father lives in another city for work and has hit me in the past. My mother has been physically abusive many times over the years and often takes out all her frustration and anger on me.

The way my mother talks to me is genuinely heartbreaking. She constantly insults me, says horrible things about me, humiliates me, and makes false allegations against me. Even when nothing has happened and I've done absolutely nothing wrong, I still get blamed, cursed at, and treated like I'm the cause of every problem in the family. It feels like both of my parents have decided that I'm the villain, no matter what I do.

Things have become even worse recently. My parents want me to cut off my friends, stay at home more, and focus on household work and taking care of my younger sibling. My mother often threatens me and says my father will beat or punish me when he comes back. Some days it feels like I'm constantly walking on eggshells, waiting for the next accusation, insult, or argument.

What hurts the most is that I don't have anyone to turn to. Most relatives know how my parents are, but they either support them or stay out of it. No one in the family understands what I'm going through or is willing to help. I don't have a trusted adult, mentor, or anyone I can go to for guidance.

My parents have also talked about getting me married in the future, and that scares me because I already feel like I have very little control over my own life. The situation at home feels extreme and keeps getting worse, and sometimes I genuinely feel stuck.

I just want honest, practical advice from people who have been through something similar. If you were 17, completely alone, constantly blamed, insulted, threatened, and had no real support system, what would you do to protect your future and get through the next few years? (They are so toxic, my life is turning into hell)

This is my first post, and honestly, I don’t even know how to start it. I just wish it didn’t have to be about this.
Ever since my parents got divorced, my mom has changed. We used to argue a lot before, but after the divorce, things only got worse. I don’t even remember when it started affecting me so much. I just know that, at some point, I stopped wanting to go home. I stopped wanting to talk to her or even see her.
For her, it’s become completely normal—and it still is—to call me names, tell me to go fuck myself, and say all kinds of hurtful things. There were even times when she said out loud that she regretted giving birth to me. And I honestly had no idea what I was supposed to do.
She can snap at me at any moment, out of nowhere—start yelling, insulting me, humiliating me. And whenever I try to say something back, she doesn’t just refuse to listen. Instead, she turns herself into the victim.
Today, June 30, 2026, she called me and asked what time I finish school. I simply asked, “Why?” In return, I got a stream of insults before she hung up on me. Apparently, I was just supposed to answer her question without asking anything back.
I don’t know what to do anymore. I can barely hold back my tears. I never wanted things to be like this, and I never wanted to fight with her. I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do.