u/After-Pin-3862

[Advice/Support] 18, about to call the police for a civil standby to leave an abusive home, but I’m terrified. Need outside perspective.

Body:

Hi everyone, I really need some advice and perspective from people outside my household because I feel like I'm losing my mind.

I’m an 18-year-old college student. Things at home have always been toxic under the guise of a "perfect family," but today it escalated to a dangerous level.

An argument started because one of my brothers was getting in trouble, my mom said I was smiling, and I said I wasn't. My dad jumped in, I told him I wasn't arguing and was just giving them the same energy they give me, and things went back and forth. I went upstairs to my room to cool off. While I was walking up, my dad mocked my voice in an annoying tone, so I matched it back. He snapped, called me a "fucking dumbass," and followed me into my room.

I was sitting on my bed. He came right into my face, yelling aggressively. When I stood up to try to get space, he kept getting in my face and hitting my hands/trying to hit me first. I pushed him away to get him off me. He kept shoving me back forcefully, which backed me into a corner and forced me to step on my guitar, snapping it in half. Now they are blaming me, calling me overdramatic, and saying it's my fault the guitar broke.

My mom is now weaponizing my past against me. She’s threatening that she has "evidence" of me getting physical in the past (which only ever happened when my dad cornered and screamed in my face like this). She's bringing up old arguments. They are also holding all my legal documents—my ID, Social Security card, and birth certificate—so I can't leave freely.

I want to call the non-emergency police line today for a "civil standby" so an officer can keep the peace while I pack a backpack, force them to hand over my documents, and get a courtesy transport to a domestic violence shelter before transitioning into my college dorms.

My dilemma and fears:

1. My siblings: I have younger siblings, especially a little sister, and I am terrified of losing contact with her or being labeled as "dead to the family" for breaking their trust/leaving.
2. My safety vs. survival: I've never lived on my own, I don't have a car or a license, and I'm worried about surviving college and life on my own.
3. The guilt: My parents make me feel like I'm the abusive one for pushing him off me when he cornered me.

Am I making the right choice by calling the cops for a standby and walking away completely today? Has anyone else survived leaving a controlling/abusive household at 18? Any advice or reality checks are appreciated.

Title: [Advice/Support] 18, about to call the police for a civil standby to leave an abusive home, but I’m terrified. Need outside perspective.

Body:

Hi everyone, I really need some advice and perspective from people outside my household because I feel like I'm losing my mind.

I’m an 18-year-old college student. Things at home have always been toxic under the guise of a "perfect family," but today it escalated to a dangerous level.

An argument started because one of my brothers was getting in trouble, my mom said I was smiling, and I said I wasn't. My dad jumped in, I told him I wasn't arguing and was just giving them the same energy they give me, and things went back and forth. I went upstairs to my room to cool off. While I was walking up, my dad mocked my voice in an annoying tone, so I matched it back. He snapped, called me a "fucking dumbass," and followed me into my room.

I was sitting on my bed. He came right into my face, yelling aggressively. When I stood up to try to get space, he kept getting in my face and hitting my hands/trying to hit me first. I pushed him away to get him off me. He kept shoving me back forcefully, which backed me into a corner and forced me to step on my guitar, snapping it in half. Now they are blaming me, calling me overdramatic, and saying it's my fault the guitar broke.

My mom is now weaponizing my past against me. She’s threatening that she has "evidence" of me getting physical in the past (which only ever happened when my dad cornered and screamed in my face like this). She's bringing up old arguments, acting like I'm a monster. They are also holding all my legal documents—my ID, Social Security card, and birth certificate—so I can't leave freely.

I want to call the non-emergency police line today for a "civil standby" so an officer can keep the peace while I pack a backpack, force them to hand over my documents, and get a courtesy transport to a domestic violence shelter before transitioning into my college dorms.

My dilemma and fears:

1. My siblings: I have younger siblings, especially a little sister, and I am terrified of losing contact with her or being labeled as "dead to the family" for breaking their trust/leaving.
2. My safety vs. survival: I've never lived on my own, I don't have a car or a license, and I'm worried about surviving college and life on my own.
3. The guilt: My parents make me feel like I'm the abusive one for pushing him off me when he cornered me.

Am I making the right choice by calling the cops for a standby and walking away completely today? Has anyone else survived leaving a controlling/abusive household at 18? Any advice or reality checks are appreciated.