My husband is in a full psychosis episode right now and it’s been building for months. He’s never acted like this since we’ve been together so I don’t think it’s an underlying mental illness but there’s definitely something wrong in his brain currently.

Last week he held me down and wouldn’t let me get up. I had to tell our homepods to call the police. We then went through the same thing the next night but that time he got transported to the stress center. It’s now been over a week, he got home monday afternoon and since then still isn’t the same. He backhanded my mouth yesterday in our rental car and then today he started arguing with me and calling me different names. saying i’m possessed just all of the things that don’t make sense. I called our local mobile crisis unit and they calmed him down got him onboard for intake and therapy. it was all good while they were here but they were definitely picking up on the mania from him. As soon as they left I told him to get his medicine and to take it so he can regulate again. I then got in the car because I was worried he’d do something stupid (we have a rental bc as his psychosis was building he totaled his truck) and he then started arguing with me again and hit me so hard on my shoulder/collarbone. I called the crisis unit again and had them turn around and then the operator said i should call the police and i then asked her to do it for me. she did and they all came back to the house and gathered info from me while we waited for him to return. When he did it was immediate he was still not him. They then separated us talked ya know the whole shit show but one of the officers was so very adamant that it was schizophrenia.

I’m just so hurt by all of this. Like I know my husband and I know that this is not him. He’s never demonstrated such severe mental illness before so it leads me to believe it’s stress induced but I just can’t survive in this. I love him with everything in me and the last thing I want to do is leave him but I’m struggling with dealing with his mental state. We run our own business, we’re in this awful custody battle, we’re being evicted, just every thing bad all at once and my best friend feels like he’s been replaced by someone evil.

I’m not sure what I’m looking for here posting this. Maybe some kind words? Some advice for what to do? It’s an awful situation but I truly believe that it’s just the stress we’re under (I also want it to be known that I’m not a good guy in this either. I’ve yelled in his face punched him in the head all the toxic behavior.) I’m just at my wits end and I want us both to heal from this

I want to out my (most recent) abuser. I’ve been abused since adolescence but he was the most textbook abuser. He wants to become a counselor (therapist) and is currently serving the National Guard. Frankly, he shouldn’t do either. He is a really bad person and I don’t want him to hurt anyone else. But I also don’t want to take him to court - I don’t think I could handle that rn, as I am still healing. I’ve heard there are sites/apps where people warn others about other people but idk where to start. He made sure I used ice when he hit me in the face so it didn’t bruise, so I have no photographic evidence. I have some text evidence where he admits to rape tho. Please guide me.

Me (F 26 15 weeks pregnant) and my husband (M 27) had an argument today. It ended in him leaving my food on me while I was eating. I was shocked that he did that since he never has done that before.

I got up from the sofa and went to the door. I just wanted to leave the house. He ran to the door and wouldn't let me leave. I tried to move him out of the way but he wouldn't move. He grabbed my wrist tightly and pushed me against the wall. He is much bigger and taller than me. He then picks me up from the floor as I try to escape him. I was basically crying at this point begging him to let me leave. He carries me and throws me on the bed and holds me down not letting me leave.

I kicked him hard and managed to get off. He got angry and I heard a loud bang that scared me. When I slowly went to check, he had broken my car keys and the tv was scattered from how hard he threw it. I ended up running outside to catch my breath and then he started to throw my stuff out. He threw a heavy box at me which bruised my feet.

I got away but I don't know how to feel about this. We are starting a family and he apologized and said it was because he was drunk. He's recovering alcoholic. I went to stay at a friends house and the following day my wrist were full of bruises and so was my arm. I was scared for my baby and hoping it was okay after how hard he grabbed me to pick me up. I don't know what to do I have to go back I have no family. I don't know if I should forgive him since it was just bruises and he didn't actually hit me... not sure if it counts as abuse but I'm lost.

He said he would never do anything to hurt me again and that he was quitting drinking for good. He told me that if he drunk again that I need to call the cops and leave because he knows he's dangerous to be around while drunk.

My previous posts have the story. I feel like i have to go back again I left on Sunday but I feel like a bad wife she was mean but I wasn't perfect either the last time I went back i ended up apologizing over and over again. Maybe if I go back and apologize she'll change and take me back. The abuse she did wasn't even that bad.

I'm trying to work out whether I'm overreacting or if this relationship has become abusive. We've been together nearly six years, and this behaviour has only started over the last months, but it has escalated really quickly. Looking back, it started with threats and intimidation. For example, he threatened violence against me, and on one occasion he threatened to rip my hair out. That frightened me and i would often go quiet. He still threatens and intimidates me now, but over time it has become physical as well. It now feels like there's almost something every day. On separate occasions he's grabbed my hair, pinned me down, pushed me against the wall, held my face, pushed my head into the bed, and during sex he has choked me, even though we'd never agreed to that. He has pinned my nose shut so that I struggled to breathe and once used my own hand to hit me. A lot of it happens when he's acting as if he's just playing around or joking, but it frightens me. If I get upset, he often minimises what happens, blames me, says it was a joke or apologises afterwards, but the behaviour keeps happening. I have told him that he scares me and nothing has changed. Afterwards, he'll sometimes act completely normal or even affectionate, which leaves me questioning myself. I don't always realise how serious it was until later. In the moment, I end up thinking maybe I'm overreacting because of how he explains it, but the next day I'll think back what happened and realise how frightening it actually was. It feels like I keep second guessing my own judgement. Sex used to feel loving, but now I'm scared because I never know what he's going to do. I don't trust him anymore and I feel like I've become numb. Has anyone experienced something similar and does this sound like abuse?

Here is what he texted me after i told him I finally got a job. The names are censored for privacy reasons. My ex lied to me and to his father (our sons paternal grandpa) and said we would get back together and that he would evict the new girlfriend so my son and I can move back in with him so we can be a family again. The grandpa didnt want me to have a job. Him and my sons dad both wanted me to be a stay at home mom while we waited for my sons dad to evict the new girlfriend. He really made it seem like he would evict her at first cause he even called the cops on her multiple times while i stayed at the grandpas house. Eventually i got alerts saying i needed to renew my sons medicaid. The grandpa was highly against me having a job. I even have screenshots of hin saying that. I still have legal full custody of our son because the father and I were never married and he never got our son legitametized. But then the dad waited until AFTER the grandpa kicked me out to get me to sign the legitatmezation papers so he can legitamize our son. My parents wont help me and i became homeless after the grandpa kicked me out. The family shelters and the dv shelters both kept telling me they were full. Because of that i had no choice but to let my son stau at his dads while i was homeless even though I didnt want him at his dads house. I had several interviews for months before i finally got a job.

Today my sons dad texted me "Are you gonna be able to send some money for (sons name) I'm not sure what your situation is."

My response "Your father kicked me out cause he didnt want me to have a job. You both wanted me to be a stay at home mom for you. You told me and your dad you would evict k! Instead you said you had a secret wedding not long after your dad kicked me out. I needed a job so i could renew his medicaid. Now i need to keep my job. When i was at the hotel you told me you didnt want me to bring (sons name) to a hotel but then you let k take him to a hotel in another state! You promised to provide. You waited until after your father kicked me out to ask me if you can legitemize our son. And then now you are saying you married k after YOU said she threatened to leave our son home alone over and over even though you wanted me to be a stay at home mom for you. Before we broke up you use to tell me you thought (sons name) was expensive all the time when he was a baby. I dont know how you afforded getting with k when she has 3 kids of her own that dont belong to you when you you use to say our son was too expensive for you before we broke up. Im waiting for my job to pay me. Stop acting like i owe you when you are the one who let your father kick me out cause i needed to get a job to renew (sons name) medicaid cause they needed paystubs for it. (Sons name) and i became homeless after the 1st time you made me a stay at home for you too! And then you moved in k and her kids into your home while (sons name) and I were still homeless! We were at the shelters. Shelters give people a limited time they can stay.

I had really bad roommates before i moved into the grandpas house. They constantly complained about my kid before he got his autism diagnosis. One of the old roommates there even threatened to shoot me before i got out of there. Thats part of how I ended up at the grandpas house. I got with those roommates after getting out of homelessness the 1st time before i moved in with the grandpa.

Also, his job takes the child support out of his check automatically cause he had too many times where he paid it late in the past.

He basically wants me to cash app him the money back. This is not the 1st time he asked me for money either. He just memtioned it again recently cause he knows I finally got a job now. But he also asked me for money a week after his dad kicked me out too. I was using my tax refund for a motel during that time while i applied for jobs and also while I biked for door dash but then they suspended my door dash account.

K has 3 kids of her own that dont belong to my ex. She had them years before she met him. Im shocked that he got with someone who has 3 kids. I was surpriswd he could afford it after he use to complain about how expensive our son was before we broke up. She is also very mean and constantly threatens me and the dad. She threatens to leave our son home alone, she has threatened cps on me since before she even met me (when i still lived with my old roommates) and she threatens to get my sons dad in jail and threatens to get him fired. I dont tell him about my personal life anymore since he is not honest with me either.

I have finally escaped. He has moved out, he is getting off the lease today (he has to otherwise the landlord is involving police and that is his greatest fear so I know he will)

I installed a smart deadbolt on my bedroom door.
I am having the same deadbolt installed on both exterior doors.
We have agreed that we will handle this cordially and maturely. I only believe this because I agreed to not involve cops if he leaves me alone and respects my boundaries- and his mom is currently dying of cancer so for him, going to jail is not an option.
I genuinely believe my safety is not at risk, I'm sure a lot of people say that but I have a lot of reasons to believe this. I am also going to be installing a state of the art security system on Friday.
I have a therapist

My question is, what else do I need to do? We are either going to file for an annulment or divorce based on what we can do and we have agreed to be mature about it. I believe he can, however, I have the finances and resources he does not if that ends up being untrue.
What should I be doing as far as self care, safety, moving forward, etc.

He made me throw away all of my clothes, makeup, jewelry, all of my home decor, he made me remove all of my piercings, lashes, he made me remove my extensions, ruin my hair removing the black hair dye. As stupid as it sounds I have spent the day in bed ordering any furniture I want to replace, any decor I want, I am going to order some makeup, maybe some clip in extensions. I am an esthetician so I may order something to dye my hair back to black. I plan on going to a vintage market on Sunday for some self care and to purchase jewelry and anything else I see. I know this is materialistic but it's part of me.

Is there anything you all suggest, no matter how big or small that will help me feel like me again? I ordered all of the bedding I love because my bed used to be my comfy happy sanctuary and he stripped me of that so I'm making my bed my happy place again. It's the smallest things that stripped me of who I am. I want to do my makeup and get dressed cute and go to the market on Sunday.

I have reached out to everyone he made me cut out of my life. Everyone has been extremely supportive. I'm just curious if anyone has any ideas or any suggestions on the little and big things I can do for safety, happiness, feeling like myself again. It doesn't matter how big, little, trivial, life saving, materialistic, everything is welcome.

I need to feel like me again.

This group has been so incredibly helpful and I am so grateful for all of you

My wife has severe ME/CFS, MCAS, and POTS. She's been staying at her parents house but now she wants to come back to my place. I said no because I'm exhausted and the dynamic is toxic. She blames me for everything and there has been physical abuse (hitting, scratching, hair pulling) from her side.

She has a doctor's appointment in 1 hour with her high complexity care team. I'm going to be there. I don't want her to move back but I'm willing to support her at her parents house whenever she needs me.

I want to be honest with the doctor but I'm scared. If I tell them about the abuse they might take it too seriously and get authorities involved. I don't want that. I just want her to get better and I don't want to abandon her. I'm also scared they won't believe me or it will make things worse.

Should I tell the doctor the truth or just stay quiet? What do I say? I'm really stressed and don't know what to do. Appointment is in 1 hour. Please help.

You can read the rest of my story on my profile.

I’m trying to understand whether what happened to me is considered domestic violence, and I’d really appreciate some perspective from people who have experienced abuse or similar situations.

My husband and I have a 1-year-old baby and we temporarily live in my parents house. Until this happened, I had never seen him behave violently or lose control like this.

Something minor happened and my husband became extremely angry and started screaming and kicking things around the house, one of those things hit my mom accidentally. He then grabbed clothes belonging to himself and our baby and put them in the car.

He then said he was taking our baby with him. Meanwhile I was scared and locked myself in the bathroom with the baby because I didn't want him to take our child while he was in that state. He tried to open every door in the house to try to find me.

Afterward, I stayed at my parents' house and he is currently staying at his mother's house.

He never hit me, but the whole situation was extremely frightening to me. I'm struggling with whether I'm overreacting because this was the first time I've ever seen him behave this way, or whether this should be taken as a serious incident of domestic violence.

I don't know if I want a divorce. I still love him, and part of me wants to believe this was a one-time loss of control. But I am also scared that it could happen again, especially now that we have a child.

Would you consider this domestic violence or abusive behavior even though he didn't physically hit me?

Long story short, I met a guy. He was charming we had a great relationship. Mid you he was in prison.

He’s out now and he’s changed since being home. He act like he doesn’t like me.

Long story shorter, he put me in a chokehold. Then not even 3 weeks later he full blown choked me and made me lose consciousness. I been contemplating rather I should call the police because I don’t want to ruin his life, but he just got out of prison for strangulation!!! Then on top of it all he’s justifying what he did and has no remorse saying “when I say stfu you need to be a lady and stfu” mind you, I’m very respect and the punishment DEFINITELY didn’t match the crime.

And before he actuallly choked me, he said “let me show you what type of ngga you fckin with”, then pulled over in an abandoned parking lot and let me have it.

I haven’t spoken to him he hasn’t spoken to me but part of me feels like h cannot get away with this. But the other part of me doesn’t want to ruin his life as he’s already been to prison 5 times. Plus, he’s still in parole.

Please help me yall. I took pics of the bruises around my neck and everything so I do have evidence, as this happened 3 days ago.

I want to drop the domestic violence charges against my ex-husband. I provided a lot of evidence to the police while I was angry and overwhelmed, but I still love him and I’m scared that he could go to jail. I don’t wish him any harm.

What is the best way to tell the prosecutor that I don’t want to pursue the case? Is there anything I can say or do that could help them accept an Affidavit of Non-Prosecution and possibly close the case without contradicting my previous statements or giving me subpoena?
Please help. I’m very confused about what to do.

Hi everyone. Thank you so much to everyone that commented. I really appreciate you.

I just wanted to let you all know I’m safe. I’ve got a lot of resources. I got an order of protection and the judge denied his release. I’m struggling with the trauma of it all. One second I’m okay, the next I’m in panic mode. The state’s attorney is representing me in the criminal case. It’s a long road ahead, but I’m getting through it and doing everything I need to do. I’ll be filing for divorce and full custody.

He swore he never would. My heart hurts so bad knowing he lied. My brain can’t even comprehend it. He won’t even admit that he did it. The look in his eyes after the first punch broke my heart. I realize this isn’t what I thought it was. I wish it never happened. I wish i didn’t know what it was like to love him. I also wish it would go through my head how bad it is to be hit. But I would forgive him if he begged. I sometimes fear I would forgive him if he tried to kill me. I’m so sad:(

My abuser was granted a protective order against me. More than anything, it made me curious how often this happens. Is this common in dv?

I went to the police station for help against my partner in domestic violence. He had been showing change before I went but makes comments out of anger (during the moment) we have a child together under 6 months. There’s no contact. I wrote a letter to the judge handed it into Victum services. Told them I want to withdrawal my statement and I don’t want to testify. They have evidence against him but I just don’t want to be involved and focus on my children. Has anyone been through this? And what happened? Ontario Canada

So I’ve been with my bf for about 7 years.. I’ve had 4 black eyes and a LOT of violence over all mentally emotionally physically even to my pets and family last time I got hit he was arrested he punched me in the face and hit me in the head with my rear view mirror that he ripped off while I was driving 60 mph on the highway I stopped in the middle of the lane side ways and by the grace of god jumped out of the car my eye was bleeding and I was confused. The next day he got out of jail and unfortunately I took him back I started cheating on him and knock on wood he hasn’t hit me since which doesn’t make sense to me earlier in our relationship I was the perfect girlfriend now that I’m horrible to him he seems nicer and more respectful to me.. the arrest was about a year ago. Also I almost feel like I deserved the things that have happened bc now that I cheat I don’t see myself as the pure hearted person I once was.Has this happened to anyone else do they ever just stop being physically violent?

TL;DR: During consensual sex last night, my boyfriend choked me for maybe 30 seconds at most, with his grip getting progressively tighter until I genuinely thought I might pass out. When he stopped, I was coughing badly and had tears in my eyes, and my throat still hurts today. I’ve consented to very light choking before, but never anything like this. We weren’t arguing or fighting beforehand. It honestly scared me, and the more I’ve thought about it today, the more unsettled I feel.

My boyfriend and I have been on and off for almost three years. It’s a very toxic relationship, and I would consider him abusive verbally, emotionally, and mentally. He has threatened violence and threatened to hit me before, but he has never actually hit me.
Last night we were having sex and he started choking me while he was on top of me in missionary. We weren’t arguing beforehand or anything like that. He has lightly put his hands/arms around my neck during sex before, and I’ve been okay with that, but this was completely different.

It was short, maybe 30 seconds at most, but his grip got progressively tighter. At some point it went from something I wasn’t really thinking about to genuinely scaring me. He was squeezing hard enough that I thought I might pass out. When he finally stopped, I was coughing badly and had tears in my eyes. My throat still hurts today. I don’t have any visible bruising, but he is a very strong guy.

I didn’t really know what to make of it immediately afterward, but I’ve been thinking about it more today and I keep coming back to how scared I actually was in that moment.

I think what’s messing with my head is that the sex itself was consensual and I’ve consented to light choking/touching around my neck before. But I did not consent to that level of force. Because it was brief and there wasn’t an argument or obvious anger leading up to it, part of me keeps wondering whether he genuinely didn’t realize how hard he was squeezing or whether I’m making it into something it wasn’t.

Was this physical abuse? Sexual assault? Has anyone experienced something similar? I feel like I should know how to categorize this, but I genuinely don’t.

My (27F) partner (24M) will not stop cornering me, degrading me, badgering me, belittling me and the only things that stops him is when I physically hit him.

I should mention I am also currently 35 weeks pregnant.

My fiancé since I’ve gained weight and become pregnant started having these like fits of I don’t want to say rage but random moments where he just does not shut up about comparison. Comparing all these ugly things I don’t like about myself. My weight, my gap, my teeth in general, my private swelling or getting fatter, how ugly I am now, how dry my hair is. He never was like this before pregnancy AT ALL.

Constantly telling me they’re jokes or being like “oh you’re maaaaddd now” and when he does it I’m immobile. My hip is popped out or just under a lot of pressure due to the weight of the baby so it’s hard and painful for me to move. I can hardly get around I have to take pain meds just to use the restroom. He comes to me and starts the conversation off playful and then like starts going off and I feel he wants me to cry over it but instead I get upset and I keep trying to ignore him and like change the subject something I obviously can’t move so I have to sit here and listen and then he starts getting closer or touching me and I punch him in the face or slam my fist on him.

I’m not this angry person and I’ve never ever laid my hands on anyone who wasn’t a sibling that I did as a child. I’m not like this and I hate feeling like I’m being pushed to this point but then he gets butt hurt and makes me feel like I’m crazy and I’m too emotional and I can’t control myself!!! I tell him to leave as we’re living in one of my parents home given to me but he states he has nowhere to go as he is 2 hrs away from his hometown and family all his own doing I didn’t force him to move here he wanted to get away.

I feel like a monster and I can’t break up with him constantly and he comes crying how I easily make him feel like he’s replaceable, how I make him feel like everything he does for me isn’t worth it. That I’m all he has I feel so crazy!! This all just started when I got pregnant, joke or not!

For anyone who is thinking about leaving, wants to leave but is scared or doesn’t know how to do so safely, this prep list is for you. I hope this helps someone out there.

THE QUIET ESCAPE PREP LIST

IF you have the time, start off slowly and deliberately, once you have decided you are ready to leave. Tell him whatever he wants to hear to keep the peace. You need time to prepare and allow him to think that the status quo has been maintained. Caveat: This entire plan goes out the window if you are in danger.

YOUR PRIVACY:

Set up a new email.

1. ⁠NEVER use your home computer for this, all home devices should be considered compromised. Use a library computer, if possible. Family (your own family) and friend’s computers ONLY if a library computer is not accessible.
2. ⁠NEVER auto log in on your phone or have the password saved ANYWHERE. Make the password something he could never guess, but that you would never forget. Examples of passwords: your social security number written out (sevenfivenine, etc.), your childhood best friends home phone number or address, etc.—things he would never know, but that you would never forget. If you have a trusted *safe* person, give them the login and password. Or, write it on a piece of paper and mail it to your P.O. Box (details about that below)
3. ⁠Back the email address up to a work email or school email, NEVER to a personal email you currently have. If you don’t have a work email, ask a trusted friend or family member to use theirs, or you set up two new email accounts and make one the back up of the other.
4. ⁠Send everything from your current email(s) to your new secure email that you want to keep. Ensure to delete your sent box and your trash bin. COVER YOUR TRACKS.
5. ⁠DO NOT use password recovery answers with details of your own life. Choose a character from a movie, actors answers, or obscure answers.
6. ⁠Examples:
7. ⁠First Pet: Jaws
8. ⁠Maiden Name: Cinderella
9. ⁠Birthplace: Jupiter
10. ⁠Get a P.O. Box, pay for it in cash for a year if you can ($155), or at minimum 3 months ($48) and continue to renew it as you get the funds until you have a year paid. Go through EVERYTHING and change your address to this. And I mean everything—DMV, Social Security, Medicaid, EBT, everything. Watch your mail, you will find more than you knew that comes to the home, and you do not want him to have his hands on any important or personal mail that may come in a few months after you’re gone.

➡️If you are imminently leaving, change all of your passwords on everything and back everything up to your new secure email. I cannot stress this enough TRIPLE FUCKING CHECK that you have cleaned up your trail and deleted all emails that reference the password change, sent emails, and that you have emptied your trash bin.

SOCIAL MEDIA:

1. ⁠If he regularly visits your social media pages, start stripping it out. Anything that he could use in a divorce battle, even from years ago, delete it. If it’s a cherished picture memory, send it to the secure email, and delete from everywhere else. Also, go through his social media (anything he has public—do not try to go through his phone in ANY capacity), screenshot or take a photo on your device of damaging things and send to your new secure email address, delete after. Remember to delete your “Recently Deleted” texts as well, if using an iPhone.
2. ⁠Make a list of family members that you know will be watching what you say and do on social media and report it back to your partner—these are not safe people. Put them on a list, title it something innocuous like “Family” so that when you pull the trigger, they all go on limited profile or just be blocked.
3. ⁠Don’t change your back up email to your new one yet, he may see it and discover it exists.
4. ⁠Go through all of your privacy settings on everything. Lock it down. Have a friend try and get around your settings to test it out.

YOUR FINANCES:

You MUST establish your own identity that he cannot touch.

1. ⁠Get a new bank account at a different institution and start socking pennies into it: returned bottles, sold items, bonus checks, birthday money, every penny no matter have small. Keep the bank card off site. It never lives in your wallet or stays in your home. Ally Bank is a good one and it’s online.

2. ⁠You need a credit card in your own name, not one that you have a card on his account or even a joint, you need a clean and clear one for just you. It is also never kept at your home. When you order your credit card, DO NOT have it delivered to your home address. Send it to the P.O. Box you set up, or to a trusted family or friends house.

3. ⁠Set up ALL accounts to go to your new email

4. ⁠Every time you go grocery shopping, add in a gift card for any amount.

5. ⁠Every time you get gas—pay at the register and only get 3/4 of a tank and get a 20.00 gift card

6. Collect redeemable points on everything

7. Stockpile your kitchen in dry goods and freezables

YOUR PHOTOS AND MEMENTOS:

Now is the perfect time to “spring clean.” How much more status quo can it get by you being a proper wife and cleaning up the nest?

1. ⁠Rearrange the house and “declutter”, ship off lots to Goodwill, and the little valuables, box up and take offsite: parents, friend, work. Buy a storage unit if you cannot find another place for storage. Get it out of the house.
2. ⁠Scan your photos and put them on drives, send off site
3. ⁠Keepsake boxes, offsite
4. ⁠Jewelry, offsite
5. ⁠The stupid little things that have no value but you hold precious.
6. ⁠Kids first tooth, stuffy, shoes....off-site

BEING PREPARED FOR AN EMERGENCY EXIT
Sometimes you don’t know when the final blowup will happen and you will want leave with more than the clothes on your back. You want to be able to walk to the garage/car carrying nothing but your phone. You may need those precious seconds to get away.

1. ⁠You need a Go-Bag, one for you and each of your children (f you have them). This is a bag of 2-3 days of clothing, toiletries, toys, formula, prescriptions, and any day to day item you need. This bag stays in the trunk of your car or offsite and is there for if you need it. If you have an offsite stash, then just a days worth of stuff will suffice.
2. ⁠Keep a color photocopy of your Drivers licence, medical insurance, and your children’s birth certificates in this bag. Also keep photos of these in your secret email.
3. ⁠Keep enough cash for a night at a motel, a tank of gas or a meal in the bag, or all 3, if possible.
4. ⁠Phone charger lives in your car and never leaves. Keep a wall plug in the bag.
5. ⁠If these are found, this is easy to explain. It’s a good idea to be prepared for an emergency, what would happen if your phone died and you were stuck on the side of the road? (I keep a similar bag in my car, especially when I was a nanny, and it’s actually saved my butt a couple of times: coffee spilled on me at work or got puked on by a baby, forgot my wallet and needed gas, running late and forgot my meds, etc.)
6. If your car is in the garage, keep the spare key under the seat or use a magnet or duct tape to attach it somewhere else that he wouldn’t ever think to look, i.e. in the Christmas decorations bin, behind a storage shelving unit, inside the pole of a shoe caddy.

My boyfriend of almost 10 years got arrested for domestic violence on August 10th. He goes from 0 to 100. He is either very sweet or very dark. This has been going on for years, I have even been to a couple safe houses in the past. Alcohol was involved between the both of us but he does this even when he is sober. I have gotten a couple black eyes in the past and even choked. He is even verbally and emotionally abusive as well as physical. When I answered the door, the police officer demander my boyfriend to come outside and I to stay inside. Soon after, I got a knock again and it was paramedics. I decided not to go to the hospital since it looked like they took him in the back of the police car and we have two cats. I talked to the two police officers and they told me he started screaming conspiracies and stripped naked. The narrative of the report says "After an argument over alcohol, [his name] pushed [my name] onto the ground in the kitchen then struck her. After leaving the room [his name] punched [my name] in the bedroom. After separating, [my name] called 911. Upon my arrival, [his name] being screaming conspiracies and stripped naked before being detained." He was in jail for about 18 hours.
A mandatory emergency protective order was set which expires on August 17th 11:59PM. His Dad from out of state put him up in a motel. His Dad went back home and his Mom is coming down to visit. His court dates are on September 9th for ASSAULT & BATTERY-FAM MEMBER and INDECENT EXPOSURE. Tomorrow I am seeing my doctor to examine the bruises which are mostly all over my head (two bumps) and my arm and then going to domestic violence counseling at a family justice center. Everyone including my own Dad just wants to see him get some help like therapy, anger management classes, rehab, mental health institute, ect. Since he cannot be in contact with me in any kind, he sent my roommate a message to me and communicated to me through his Dad. It sounds like he is willing to make changes and tried to be all sweet with me. If he was angry at me, then that would be it. He will be back living with me on Tuesday but he will be on thin ice. Anxiously waiting to see what the judge will mandate him in court.