How to get out of this situation.
I am 19 years old, and I feel so isolated. Ever since I was young, I couldn't look people in the eye, and I’ve never really had friends. I feel isolated because when I was growing up, my mom was overprotective. She always told me that my friends weren't good for me and urged me to leave them, saying they weren't good people. I never even got to play sports because she kept telling me I would injure myself and that my body was too weak. I don't even know how to ride a bike.
When I was 11, I started reading books on Wattpad, and I began "bedrotting." Even now at 19, I struggle to do household chores and stay in bed all day. I don't want to go out, I have no friends, and I feel like I don't know how to do anything in life. I don't even have social media because of a traumatic experience when I was younger: my mom went through my Messenger, saw a chat from a male classmate, and criticized me for it, calling me terrible names and making me feel ashamed.
To make matters worse, both of my parents were diagnosed with cancer. My mom has breast cancer, and my dad passed away from colon cancer. This all happened between the ages of 15 and 17. That was when I started feeling deeply sad and began having thoughts of wanting to die.
Fast forward to now: I feel completely empty. I stopped going to school, and my mom has been acting erratically ever since my dad died—making videos as if she were a teenager and acting strangely in front of the camera. On top of that, I still can't go to friends' houses or travel anywhere far, because if I do, she nags me endlessly. She treats me like I am 12 years old and incapable of doing anything for myself. She is also extremely negative; whenever she meets someone, she criticizes their food and everything else about them, and now I feel like I’m turning into her.
I have no money because I can't work. I am supposed to receive 5,000 pesos a month from my father’s pension, but my mom controls all of it. I don't even have valid IDs because I don't have the money to get them. I am writing my first post here because I don't have a single person to talk to—literally no one—and I am going crazy. I desperately want to know if I can ever get out of this situation, because I am planning to leave this house.