u/FishDisastrous9566

Hey guys, I need some advice about a situation involving a friend. I’d rather not give our exact ages, but we’re both minors and the same age.

Last year, she started talking to a man she met at the gym who is 10 years older than her. At the time, I wasn't very close to her. According to her, when they first started talking, she kept avoiding telling him her age and would change the subject whenever it came up, until he eventually asked her in person what grade she was in.

Another friend and I are the only people who know about this guy. Neither of us knew how long they had been talking, and we assumed it had been at least a month because even now, a year and a half later, she still cries over him.

Turns out they had only been talking for a week. Just one week.

After he found out her real age, he started distancing himself from her, although not immediately. What I find really strange is that during that one week, and even after finding out her age, he made all sorts of promises to her. One of them was that he would come back for her in two years.

My friend says she knows he probably won't keep that promise, but it's obvious that part of her still hopes he'll come back like he said he would.

Honestly, I don't understand it. From my perspective, how could someone make serious promises to a person they've known for such a short amount of time?

I should also mention that my friend has a difficult relationship with her father. He's abusive toward her mother, and I'm not sure whether he's abusive toward her as well. What I can say for certain is that the problems at home affect her relationships and the way she interacts with people quite a lot.

She currently says that a guy who is only two years older than her is "too young for her." She also talks to a lot of different guys and moves from one to another very quickly. She's even admitted that she didn't actually like some of them and was only using those interactions as a distraction from this older man.

I genuinely don't know what I can do.

She keeps asking me to go to the place where this man works whenever we go out. So far, I haven't gone with her because we haven't had many opportunities to go out just the two of us, and since only one other friend and I know about him, she can't really go there with just anyone.

I don't want to go there with her because I feel like I'd only be feeding her obsession with seeing him and finding out more about him. She has already searched for a lot of information about him and has even found his address.

I love her and I genuinely want what's best for her. I also understand that, given her situation at home, she may have attached to this man partly because she sees him as some kind of parental figure or because he gave her a sense of attention and validation that she was missing.

I've tried explaining to her that he has a girlfriend now, that he seems to have moved on a long time ago, and that the age difference and the circumstances make this an unhealthy situation for her. She doesn't really listen to me, though.

What can I actually do to help her without making things worse? Should I keep trying to talk to her about it, or should I stop engaging with the whole situation and let her deal with it herself?

TL;DR: My minor friend talked to a man 10 years older than her for only a week after meeting him at the gym. After he found out her age, he distanced himself but made promises to come back in two years. A year and a half later, she is still attached to him, cries over him, looks up information about him, and wants to visit his workplace. She has difficult family circumstances, and I suspect this attachment may be connected to them. I love her and want to help, but she won't listen to me. What can I do?

My mother has completely stopped doing anything. I have been cooking my own meals and buying my own groceries with minimal money that I get from busking with my violin out in the streets. For context, I am 14 years old which is probably a reasonable age to become self-sufficient.

Whenever she realises that I am using my laptop, even if I'm not using it as entertainment (I have started to self-learn python at a more advanced level and also arranging sheet music for my instagram account as hobbies) she will shut down the wifi completely and it always takes ~20 minutes for me to restart it which is just quite annoying. She, however, hasn't been doing anything except watch short-form videos all day

Around 2 nights ago she threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't comply with all of her rules (basically I give her all of my devices at 10pm, I get 40 minutes a day on my phone, I'm never allowed to get angry, I have to contribute money to the family (how??), I can't question anything she says, etc...)

Oh yeah and last year I only got like 94% on my maths test, I think, and I was locked in the garden for a couple hours but that wasn't too bad, I didn't make the top 2 in my year group so

Currently I'm buying groceries so that's how I even have access to reddit...

Anyways I just need some advice :D

Hey guys, I urgently need advice.

Long story short, my friend is living in an abusive home with her father. He isn't an alcoholic or anything like that — he is simply abusive and violent.

I want to mention that her mother has no job or profession, no close friends and no family members who could realistically help her. Her husband repeatedly abuses her physically, and sometimes my friend as well.

The situation at home has become extremely serious. Her father has already come close to seriously hurting or even killing her mother during one of their fights.

There is also a complicated situation regarding their home. The house is legally in the name of the father's sister. Her mother has been trying to convince him to transfer the house to their daughter's name, threatening to report him to the police because of an incident where he allegedly had his brother attack her while she was alone. However, he doesn't seem afraid of this and has told them that he doesn't care and that he will put the house in his daughter's name whenever he wants.

My friend is being affected very badly by everything happening at home. She has suicidal thoughts and has also made suicide attempts. I'm extremely worried about her safety, especially because the violence at home is continuing.

Another major problem is that her father controls all the money. My friend had saved some money of her own, but when he found it, he took all of it. He has also threatened them with being thrown out of the house if they report him to the police.

Her mother has no money, no job and nobody she can realistically turn to for help, which makes her terrified of leaving or reporting him.

We are also worried about what would happen to my friend if her mother reported him. She's a minor, and they're afraid that she could end up in foster care or that they could both become homeless. I don't know whether those fears are actually justified or what kind of protection is available to them.

I don't know enough about how the police or social services handle situations like this, which is why I'm asking here.

Does the house actually have to be transferred to my friend's name for them to be able to get away from him? Are there other ways they can be protected and remain in the home, or receive somewhere safe to stay? What can the police or social services actually do in a situation like this?

Is there anything I or my family could realistically do to help them? I don't want to make the situation more dangerous for my friend or her mother, but I'm genuinely scared that if nothing changes, one of them could end up seriously injured.

I'd really appreciate advice from anyone who has experience with domestic violence, child protection or the legal system in Romania. We need to understand what options they actually have.

TL;DR: My minor friend and her mother are experiencing repeated physical abuse from her father. He controls the money, has taken her savings and threatens to throw them out if they go to the police. Her mother has no job, money or support network, and my friend has suicidal thoughts and previous attempts. We're terrified that reporting him could leave them homeless or result in my friend being placed in foster care. What legal/protective options do they actually have in Romania?

Hey guys, I urgently need advice.

Long story short, my friend is living in an abusive home with her father. He isn't an alcoholic or anything like that — he is simply abusive and violent.

I want to mention that her mother has no job or profession, no close friends and no family members who could realistically help her. Her husband repeatedly abuses her physically, and sometimes my friend as well.

The situation at home has become extremely serious. Her father has already come close to seriously hurting or even killing her mother during one of their fights.

There is also a complicated situation regarding their home. The house is legally in the name of the father's sister. Her mother has been trying to convince him to transfer the house to their daughter's name, threatening to report him to the police because of an incident where he allegedly had his brother attack her while she was alone. However, he doesn't seem afraid of this and has told them that he doesn't care and that he will put the house in his daughter's name whenever he wants.

My friend is being affected very badly by everything happening at home. She has suicidal thoughts and has also made suicide attempts. I'm extremely worried about her safety, especially because the violence at home is continuing.

Another major problem is that her father controls all the money. My friend had saved some money of her own, but when he found it, he took all of it. He has also threatened them with being thrown out of the house if they report him to the police.

Her mother has no money, no job and nobody she can realistically turn to for help, which makes her terrified of leaving or reporting him.

We are also worried about what would happen to my friend if her mother reported him. She's a minor, and they're afraid that she could end up in foster care or that they could both become homeless. I don't know whether those fears are actually justified or what kind of protection is available to them.

I don't know enough about how the police or social services handle situations like this, which is why I'm asking here.

Does the house actually have to be transferred to my friend's name for them to be able to get away from him? Are there other ways they can be protected and remain in the home, or receive somewhere safe to stay? What can the police or social services actually do in a situation like this?

Is there anything I or my family could realistically do to help them? I don't want to make the situation more dangerous for my friend or her mother, but I'm genuinely scared that if nothing changes, one of them could end up seriously injured.

I'd really appreciate advice from anyone who has experience with domestic violence, child protection or the legal system in Romania. We need to understand what options they actually have.

TL;DR: My minor friend and her mother are experiencing repeated physical abuse from her father. He controls the money, has taken her savings and threatens to throw them out if they go to the police. Her mother has no job, money or support network, and my friend has suicidal thoughts and previous attempts. We're terrified that reporting him could leave them homeless or result in my friend being placed in foster care. What legal/protective options do they actually have in Romania?

Hey guys, I urgently need advice.

Long story short, my friend is living in an abusive home with her father. He isn't an alcoholic or anything like that — he is simply abusive and violent.

I want to mention that her mother has no job or profession, no close friends and no family members who could realistically help her. Her husband repeatedly abuses her physically, and sometimes my friend as well.

The situation at home has become extremely serious. Her father has already come close to seriously hurting or even killing her mother during one of their fights.

There is also a complicated situation regarding their home. The house is legally in the name of the father's sister. Her mother has been trying to convince him to transfer the house to their daughter's name, threatening to report him to the police because of an incident where he allegedly had his brother attack her while she was alone. However, he doesn't seem afraid of this and has told them that he doesn't care and that he will put the house in his daughter's name whenever he wants.

My friend is being affected very badly by everything happening at home. She has suicidal thoughts and has also made suicide attempts. I'm extremely worried about her safety, especially because the violence at home is continuing.

Another major problem is that her father controls all the money. My friend had saved some money of her own, but when he found it, he took all of it. He has also threatened them with being thrown out of the house if they report him to the police.

Her mother has no money, no job and nobody she can realistically turn to for help, which makes her terrified of leaving or reporting him.

We are also worried about what would happen to my friend if her mother reported him. She's a minor, and they're afraid that she could end up in foster care or that they could both become homeless. I don't know whether those fears are actually justified or what kind of protection is available to them.

I don't know enough about how the police or social services handle situations like this, which is why I'm asking here.

Does the house actually have to be transferred to my friend's name for them to be able to get away from him? Are there other ways they can be protected and remain in the home, or receive somewhere safe to stay? What can the police or social services actually do in a situation like this?

Is there anything I or my family could realistically do to help them? I don't want to make the situation more dangerous for my friend or her mother, but I'm genuinely scared that if nothing changes, one of them could end up seriously injured.

I'd really appreciate advice from anyone who has experience with domestic violence, child protection or the legal system in Romania. We need to understand what options they actually have.

TL;DR: My minor friend and her mother are experiencing repeated physical abuse from her father. He controls the money, has taken her savings and threatens to throw them out if they go to the police. Her mother has no job, money or support network, and my friend has suicidal thoughts and previous attempts. We're terrified that reporting him could leave them homeless or result in my friend being placed in foster care. What legal/protective options do they actually have in Romania?

Hey guys, I urgently need advice.

Long story short, my friend is living in an abusive home with her father. He isn't an alcoholic or anything like that — he is simply abusive and violent.

I want to mention that her mother has no job or profession, no close friends and no family members who could realistically help her. Her husband repeatedly abuses her physically, and sometimes my friend as well.

The situation at home has become extremely serious. Her father has already come close to seriously hurting or even killing her mother during one of their fights.

There is also a complicated situation regarding their home. The house is legally in the name of the father's sister. Her mother has been trying to convince him to transfer the house to their daughter's name, threatening to report him to the police because of an incident where he allegedly had his brother attack her while she was alone. However, he doesn't seem afraid of this and has told them that he doesn't care and that he will put the house in his daughter's name whenever he wants.

My friend is being affected very badly by everything happening at home. She has suicidal thoughts and has also made suicide attempts. I'm extremely worried about her safety, especially because the violence at home is continuing.

Another major problem is that her father controls all the money. My friend had saved some money of her own, but when he found it, he took all of it. He has also threatened them with being thrown out of the house if they report him to the police.

Her mother has no money, no job and nobody she can realistically turn to for help, which makes her terrified of leaving or reporting him.

We are also worried about what would happen to my friend if her mother reported him. She's a minor, and they're afraid that she could end up in foster care or that they could both become homeless. I don't know whether those fears are actually justified or what kind of protection is available to them.

I don't know enough about how the police or social services handle situations like this, which is why I'm asking here.

Does the house actually have to be transferred to my friend's name for them to be able to get away from him? Are there other ways they can be protected and remain in the home, or receive somewhere safe to stay? What can the police or social services actually do in a situation like this?

Is there anything I or my family could realistically do to help them? I don't want to make the situation more dangerous for my friend or her mother, but I'm genuinely scared that if nothing changes, one of them could end up seriously injured.

I'd really appreciate advice from anyone who has experience with domestic violence, child protection or the legal system in Romania. We need to understand what options they actually have.

TL;DR: My minor friend and her mother are experiencing repeated physical abuse from her father. He controls the money, has taken her savings and threatens to throw them out if they go to the police. Her mother has no job, money or support network, and my friend has suicidal thoughts and previous attempts. We're terrified that reporting him could leave them homeless or result in my friend being placed in foster care. What legal/protective options do they actually have in Romania?

Hey guys, I need some advice about a situation involving a friend. I’d rather not give our exact ages, but we’re both minors and the same age.

Last year, she started talking to a man she met at the gym who is 10 years older than her. At the time, I wasn't very close to her. According to her, when they first started talking, she kept avoiding telling him her age and would change the subject whenever it came up, until he eventually asked her in person what grade she was in.

Another friend and I are the only people who know about this guy. Neither of us knew how long they had been talking, and we assumed it had been at least a month because even now, a year and a half later, she still cries over him.

Turns out they had only been talking for a week. Just one week.

After he found out her real age, he started distancing himself from her, although not immediately. What I find really strange is that during that one week, and even after finding out her age, he made all sorts of promises to her. One of them was that he would come back for her in two years.

My friend says she knows he probably won't keep that promise, but it's obvious that part of her still hopes he'll come back like he said he would.

Honestly, I don't understand it. From my perspective, how could someone make serious promises to a person they've known for such a short amount of time?

I should also mention that my friend has a difficult relationship with her father. He's abusive toward her mother, and I'm not sure whether he's abusive toward her as well. What I can say for certain is that the problems at home affect her relationships and the way she interacts with people quite a lot.

She currently says that a guy who is only two years older than her is "too young for her." She also talks to a lot of different guys and moves from one to another very quickly. She's even admitted that she didn't actually like some of them and was only using those interactions as a distraction from this older man.

I genuinely don't know what I can do.

She keeps asking me to go to the place where this man works whenever we go out. So far, I haven't gone with her because we haven't had many opportunities to go out just the two of us, and since only one other friend and I know about him, she can't really go there with just anyone.

I don't want to go there with her because I feel like I'd only be feeding her obsession with seeing him and finding out more about him. She has already searched for a lot of information about him and has even found his address.

I love her and I genuinely want what's best for her. I also understand that, given her situation at home, she may have attached to this man partly because she sees him as some kind of parental figure or because he gave her a sense of attention and validation that she was missing.

I've tried explaining to her that he has a girlfriend now, that he seems to have moved on a long time ago, and that the age difference and the circumstances make this an unhealthy situation for her. She doesn't really listen to me, though.

What can I actually do to help her without making things worse? Should I keep trying to talk to her about it, or should I stop engaging with the whole situation and let her deal with it herself?

TL;DR: My minor friend talked to a man 10 years older than her for only a week after meeting him at the gym. After he found out her age, he distanced himself but made promises to come back in two years. A year and a half later, she is still attached to him, cries over him, looks up information about him, and wants to visit his workplace. She has difficult family circumstances, and I suspect this attachment may be connected to them. I love her and want to help, but she won't listen to me. What can I do?