No Contact 8 months, 8000 miles
Throwaway account. AI to help with grammar. Venting/Rant
I (28m) met this girl (26f) on vacation.
I met my her on my vacation in Thailand. We met through a dating app, and she was one of the few normal girls. She lived by herself, has an office job, has 2 cats, just highly independent overall. Naturally, I was attracted, somewhat jealous of her lifestyle - simply because I've been living at home with my parents (USA) since covid. I plan on moving to Asia in the next 5 years
I first messaged her and we instantly connected. We talked about life, our cats, our dreams and goals. We decided to met up after a week of chatting. She worked in the BKK, so I asked her on a date to a pizza parlor. She was nervous, so she brought a friend so it was a bit awkward. Afterwards, we ended up at a bar, and I ended up trying to kiss in public, which is a big no-no in Thai culture. I messaged her and we laughed it off in the morning.
I ended up having to take the 2nd leg of the trip to Phuket, while my heart was still in BKK. I ended up leaving 2 days earlier to spend more time with her. We spent our days pretending to be a couple, doing couple things, until our last day together. She had a vacation to another island. We ended up taking a taxi together to the airport to say our goodbyes. At the gate, we said our goodbyes, and was heading to the gate, but she forgot her ticket. So she runs back to the counter, while I watch her bag. By this time, I was already tearing up, so it was awkward for me fighting back tears.
Before I went back to USA, we made our promise to stay in contact. After a month of being back home, I asked to be her boyfriend with a flower arrangement. She agreed, but we had arguments over the course of the 7 month relationship. Mostly stemming from my insecurity, to which I'd argue it was because I didn't have the assurance I needed to feel safe and secure. I wasn't the best boyfriend either, and we all make mistakes. Essentially, my problem would be: she stay out at night and I won't hear from her til the morning, she followed foreigner guys before we met online. Granted, she made efforts to change her lifestyle, and unfollow other foreigners. She would also ask me to unfollow some girls too. These problems would end up creating the rocky foundation. But I decided to give the benefit of the doubt on some occasions
Fast forward to my 2nd trip to visit her. This time I was by traveling by myself in a foreign land. She offered her place to stay, to which I am forever grateful for. We lived like any couple. I would pick her up after work and spend the night doing whatever. We travelled to an island for the weekend, rented bikes and explored places together for the first time. She drove us everywhere. We would take a day trip to see waterfalls.
One day during our trip, I see that a foreign guy send her an IG reel, to which I took a mental note. During one morning, I looked through her DMs and see she deleted and muted the conversation. I found this to be extremely shady. I had enough time to check her spam account and see she still followed her ex on there. I'm the type of person to block all my exes. To keep the peace, I opted to hold this information until I got back the States. Maybe to my own detriment.
Fast forward to 3 weeks ago. She sends a blindsiding texts, basically thanking me for everything for all the times we shared. That she no longer has patience, there was no plan for our future etc. I had just gotten back from a weekend trip and she blindsided me with this text. The time difference doesn't help too, I couldn't sleep that night. I felt betrayed and backstabbed. My trust was non-existent. She flipped-flopped back on her words, saying she didn't mean it, that she still wants to be together. But the crazy part is that, after I said my piece, saying to go own paths. She ends up doubling-down by DMing my sister saying she broke up with me. I found this to be extremely hurtful. I asked her why she broke up in a text, instead of video calling. Basically, she felt like she wants to see what I would do: fight for her or leave. It felt like it was a test.
Typing this all out, its so easy to remember and blame this person. But deep down, I know that we both have a lot of growing up to do and that we all make mistakes. I do feel as though we are both anxious-attachment. I'm not sure if these are just buzzwords my algorithm throws at me, but it is generally the reason why I hate social media and went on a break during our relationship.
I really hope she doesn't find this post
Edit: grammar