u/Specialist_Savings96

Is it normal for you? And do you need to really love that person to do so ?

Il m’a quitté ça fait presque deux mois en disant que la relation ne progresse pas pour lui. Il m’a dit plein de choses horribles lors du breakup
Il m’a dit I’m not in love and my heart and head are not there when I think about your feelings.
On était en relation a distance je suis à Paris il est an Amsterdam.
J’ai du couper le non contact plusieurs fois le premier mois. L’avant dernière je lui ai dit que j’ai eu une petite pensée à lui qd j’étais à la plage et il m’a répondu en disant we shouldn’t be doing this
Ça fait deux semaines c’était son anniv je lui ai envoyé bon anniversaire il m’a répondu thanks so much
J’ai pas trop de followers sur insta du coup je peux voir qui regarde mes stories et il regarde tt depuis et ça m’a créé une anxiété de le voir ou pas sur la liste ( il like jamais ) du coup je l’ai unfollow et supprimé de mes followers. Je veux ps qu’il voit ça comme une faiblesse sachant qu’il follow tjrs son ex et elle le follow tjrs
D’ailleurs il avait des photos d’elle sur son profil il les a supprimé récemment.
Vous pensez quoi les filles ?

Coucou tt le mode, alors avec mon job j’ai la possibilité de faire du full télétravail et je peux m’installer ou je veux en France. Une collègue à moi s’est installée récemment sur Marseille. J’ai jamais visité la vile mais je me demande si c’est pas une bonne idée.

I’ve been in relationship with my colleague who live in different country than mine. We saw see other for often and spent some days together. We talk every day and we’ve been together since October
I’ve asked him what are we and he sent me this : I don’t want to appear distant or play games. I like you, but I also feel like that even with talking and seeing each other when we can, we do not progress as a relationship.
And then I try not to come across as mean or a jerk, but every time I think about what you feel or would like me to feel, my mind and heart are not there.
And this is the kind of struggle, on top of other general life things, that led me to say what I said when you asked me some weeks ago about whether I feel it as a weight
because we were supposed to have a conversation on how to do things differently.
What do you think?

Je suis en relation avec un collègue qui habite à Amsterdam depuis octobre dernier, il a des problèmes affectifs en plus on vit pas à côté l’un de l’autre.
Hier je lui envoyé un message pour lui dire ce qu’on est et c’est quoi notre relation il m’a envoyé ça
"I don’t want to appear distant or play games. I like you, but I also feel like that even with talking and seeing each other when we can, we do not progress as a relationship.
And then I try not to come across as mean or a jerk, but every time I think about what you feel or would like me to feel, my mind and heart are not there.
And this is the kind of struggle, on top of other general life things, that led me to say what I said when you asked me some weeks ago about whether I feel it as a weight”
Je lui ai répondu avec ce message:

I’ve also been thinking that physical intimacy might have played a role in how things developed between us. I tend to open up slowly and I need time to build emotional comfort and trust.
From what I understood, your earlier message was about seeing if we could do things differently to grow in that direction or not, so hearing now that you don’t have feelings does feel surprising to me

Parce qu’on devait avoir une conversation pour voir où on va aller depuis des semaines et on a pas pu Le faire.
Vous pensez quoi ?

My boyfriend ""send me ""
this. We are in long distance relationship, he sent me this today “ I don’t want to appear distant or play games. I like you, but I also feel like that even with talking and seeing each other when we can, we do not progress as a relationship.
And then I try not to come across as mean or a jerk, but every time I think about what you feel or would like me to feel, my mind and heart are not there.
And this is the kind of struggle, on top of other general life things, that led me to say what I said when you asked me some weeks ago about whether I feel it as a weight"
It hurts and Idk how to deal with it. What do y’all think. this is this the end ?

Je suis en relation avec un collègue qui habite à Amsterdam depuis octobre dernier, il a des problèmes affectifs en plus on vit pas à côté l’un de l’autre.
Hier je lui envoyé un message pour lui dire ce qu’on est et c’est quoi notre relation il m’a envoyé ça
"I don’t want to appear distant or play games. I like you, but I also feel like that even with talking and seeing each other when we can, we do not progress as a relationship.
And then I try not to come across as mean or a jerk, but every time I think about what you feel or would like me to feel, my mind and heart are not there.
And this is the kind of struggle, on top of other general life things, that led me to say what I said when you asked me some weeks ago about whether I feel it as a weight”
Vous pensez quoi ?
Update: il m’a renvoyé ça : Yes, I do find physical intimacy an important part - not saying it’s everything and I respect when someone needs their time, but it’s also tricky to navigate when facing long distance as well.
I do not recall exact words and phrases, but I do think you are sharing an interpretation of what I said, not necessarily the verbatim point. Especially on the feelings part, I’ve been very honest and open about it from the beginning about what I feel and what I don’t feel, and I never said I had no feelings.
I raised the point about what could be done differently because I was hitting a wall thinking about it, given the lives we live and will continue living. You suggested coming here, which I did genuinely like, but that’s not fundamentally changing anything except location compared to previous time. I know I’m difficult since I’ve been through and am through a lot, and when I feel that we come back to a similar circle and dynamic of this relationship, I put my guard up. Because I’m afraid that despite all the effort, I cannot see a future where stars get well aligned.