r/relationship_advice

My boyfriend and I have been dating for over 7 years now and I am really happy with him. However, with how long we’ve been dating, we always get asked about when it’s “our turn” and how “we’re next”. We get this pressure from almost everyone around us. My mother is also worried because she’s starting to think I’m wasting my time. I can’t help but start to question if she’s right. This is my first real relationship so I don’t really know what I should and shouldn’t expect, however, it seems like everyone around us seems to ask that question. I will say we had a breaking point about a year ago when I was struggling with depression and I wasn’t prioritizing our relationship, however I have recovered and prioritized it since then but especially within the last 5 months. I started to pressure him about marriage a few years ago around the 4/5 year mark and then realized that we still had time and considering how young we were at the time. So I haven’t pressured him about it for a few years now and I think that made him more comfortable and confident in our relationship, and I don’t want to pressure him but at what point would I be wasting my time? We have discussed several times about how we both would like to get married on day and our wants for the future. I mainly am questioning it because of all of the constant pressure and I just don’t want to be a fool waiting and waiting. I don’t mind if it’s a long engagement, if anything I’d love a long engagement, it’s mainly the fact that if he were to provide a ring I’d feel more confident about his want to be with me.
Edit to provide more context:
He’s been out of college for over 4 years now, for me it’s been over 3 years. We’ve lived together for about 3.5 years. We’re both financially stable and saving for a house hopefully within a year or so. We had an almost make or break about 9 months ago where he admitted asking my cousins about rings 9 months prior to that. So he definitely had thought about it in the past, I went through a stage of depression (due to fallout with a friend) where I was gaming online a lot as a distraction and wasn’t helping around the house much, he had several conversations with me a few months after where he would ask me to help out as it was taking a lot out of him. Due to there being only a week or two where I was putting forth the effort and then I would regress to playing games, staying up all night and then not really helping around the house, this made him question if he wanted to be with me longer as I wasn’t prioritizing our relationship and wasn’t spending as much time with him (wanting to spend my time online instead of with him). He gave me a month to change and I did, I’ve especially been there more in the last 5 months. I know that we both want marriage and kids (whether that be through adoption or through us). We talked about how we both want kids but definitely not anytime soon. We talked about his price range for rings and how I’d like for him to get my families blessing beforehand just a few weeks ago. It just that I’ve had conversations with him about marriage in the past before the rough patch we went through, I just wanted some clarity on the fact that we’ve had these conversations, how long should someone wait? Like should I give it a year or is that too short, given these conversations we’ve had.

My parents had my sister (24F) and me (23M) very close together. When I was only a few weeks old my sister had a medical episode of seizures and other weird medical issues that couldn't be explained. She ended up with damage to her brain and became fully dependent on medication and machinery to keep her alive. She lost her ability to talk, swallow, sit up and do anything for herself. They never really learned why it happened but overnight they realized they would need to make some changes. I started spending most days with my grandparents who are now in their 70s. They would let me come home to sleep but that was it. My mom quit her job so she could be home full time with my sister and my dad changed his job so he had regular hours and could devote the other hours he had to my sister too.

My parents were vehemently against respite care or any services that would give them a break. They were offered so much help that they turned down and this made them horrifically shitty parents to me. I never felt like I could talk to them about anything, most of the attention I got was them telling me that my sister needed them or they were doing something from her and telling me to ask them later. But there never was a later for them. I tried but I got the same response every time I went back. One day my mom called me a selfish brat because I was trying to get her to come for my parent-teacher conference. I had the teacher saying one of my parents needed to be there and my dad had already said no and to leave him alone so I was hoping my mom would find a way. Instead she got mad at me.

My parents never celebrated my birthday and they never paid attention to my grades or how I was doing personally. My grandparents took over the birthday stuff but once I was independent enough in my parents eyes they wanted me home and doing stuff around the house so they'd have help. They stopped my grandparents taking care of me like they used to. It sucked and I always felt resentment for the situation and for them.

We got into a big fight when I was 17 and nearing the end of my senior year. They wanted me to stay and help them out more and I lost it and said I wasn't going to help them and I called them names, cussed them out and refused to help with a single thing anymore. We didn't talk after that and I moved out on my 18th birthday with the help of my grandparents.

My parents recently (about a month ago) put my sister into a nursing facility for young disabled people. She'll be there for the rest of her life and now my parents remember they have a son and they want to repair our relationship and they told me they will be trying. They are trying but I'm also ignoring them. I don't want to let them fix it after all this time. But I'm not sure what the right move is here. My wish is for them to leave me alone and for them to realize to me they are parents in name only and there has been no apology or admitting they were wrong. They just act like they can now be more involved and fix things because my sister isn't there anymore.

So I recently started talking to a guy I knew from middle school. And I thought the vibe was him and I starting to like eachother but the thing is, last night he was writing me and was horny. This is fine with me. Texting isnt that big of a deal. The thing is is that he has a female roommate who was advancing on him and over a hour of him talking to me, he proceeded to get head from her claiming he wished it was me. Now I dont have sex with people im not dating and understand that hes not mine so he can do as he pleases. It just hurt a bit. Maybe I read the signs wrong thinking that he liked me. Oh well I guess. Of course we are in our 30s. What are your thoughts on this. I've been single for 12 years. I think my standards are a bit higher than that. I'd like to remain friends with him but dont know how to get it across now that he did that, that im no longer interested in him. Do I just flat out say "you fucked up?" Or what? Then I ask him in the morning if he had any regrets. Had he said yes I think my opinion would gave changed a little but he said he had none. I feel like im acting like a cheated on girlfriend but we weren't even that far into talking to be such a thing. But he said he didnt have any. That hurt even more.

Update: I wrote him with your guys help.

"Just wanted to let you know I dont have sex with people Im not dating. Last night was interesting. I had hoped you decided to just yank it but you got head. I know youre not mine but I had thought the vibes between us were good. I think it'd be best if we just stop talking. Im looking for something different than this."

His response "Fare enough, sorry about that I can get out of hand from time, but I can understand, hope things go well in your world."

I think I dodged a bullet. Thank you all for your help.

My girlfriend (25F) recently messaged me (28M) about an issue she had with me not reacting "properly" to her social media stories. She enjoys singing and posting photos, but I am not a social media person. I rarely comment on anyone's stories, including my family's.

When I asked her about this in detail, she shared a screenshot with me. That's when I saw that some guy was commenting on her stories, and she told me she wanted that kind of reaction from me. His comments were clearly flirtatious. For reference, he replied, "Wow.. don't give this much beauty to anyone," to which she replied, "mm yeah." In another story, he replied, "Dang! Don't be this hot. 😌", and she responded with a "😳" emoji.

When I asked what she thought about his replies, she initially didn't get what I was trying to say. When I asked her again, she responded that he was just joking around.

I stepped back from the conversation by telling her that we would talk after she figured it out. This caused her to get stressed, and she felt like I was attacking her. I asked her to reflect on the situation, and she got defensive, saying, "I mess up every time." (She does make mistakes often, but not always, and I always try to point things out respectfully.)

​She is currently at her family's home, and today is her last day there. Because of this, she asked me not to stress her out and begged me to just clearly state what upset me, saying she couldn't take the stress on her last day. I reassured her that I am not going anywhere and that she can take her time to figure things out. I never actually told her that her behavior was disrespectful; I was just asking her questions about it. I really want her to come to the conclusion on her own about why this made me uncomfortable.

​For some background: she gets stressed easily over little things, but she has always been faithful to me and constantly sends me loving reels. She is coming back soon, and we will be meeting in two days.

​I feel slightly guilty, but I want her to think for herself about why setting boundaries against unwanted outside attention is important. How can I handle this upcoming conversation effectively when we meet?

Edit : To all those sayings about i should communicate you are probably right. I have done that for all 8 months calmly expressing myself , using solution oriented language and trying to encourage even small steps I have seen positive. Just this one time I have decided I don't want to be that guy who always communicates the feelings and instead the other person understands directly. Also as other comments pointed out yeah I was uncomfortable with her response but on the opposite side I was trying to defend her by saying it was neutral which is paradoxical or maybe illogical. And after hearing your comments I will talk to her face to face. But I just hoped that in this fundamental problem I don't have to explain and communicate like normally how I do.

My boyfriend lives in the state next to mine. By mileage, it should only take a couple of hours to get to where he lives, but it always ends up taking a couple of hours more due to the congestion of the area. We had made plans last week to have dinner on Monday because I actually had a day off.

Monday rolls around and I leave my home and start driving there. I made a couple of stops for a snack and some fuel later, but nothing too long. The trip took roughly four and a half hours. I let him know I was there and would be getting an updated gate pass to the base where he lives. He is not in the military, but works for the government and is able to live on base. Getting the pass was much easier than I anticipated (rules have changed since my last pass was issued).

As I was getting back into my vehicle, he calls me in a panic and says “Babe, Murphy’s Law has struck and we will need to reschedule. I will make it up to you.” I cannot go into great detail, but it was mandatory that he drive an hour in the opposite direction from his home to do an interview. I asked how long he may be and he said that he didn’t know. Knowing his job, I do know that sometimes these things can take a bit, but other times it doesn’t. He then told me to be safe driving back to my house.

Yes, I understand that this situation was out of his control, but I am also upset that with the cost of gas these days, I may as well have just tossed $100 billion into a shredder. Round trip, I spent $110 on gas. I didn’t get angry with him on the phone. I met my sense of humor about it, but I just feel defeated. He has made no mention of rescheduling our dinner and it has been two days.

Would it be fair to ask him to reimburse me for the fuel I now feel that I wasted by getting there and then having to go home without even seeing him?

My partner 30M has a diagnosed learning disability, he literally doesn’t process verbal information fast enough. I try to keep up but it gets exhausting when I repeat things twice and he won’t even look up from his phone. Everyone keeps telling me how much of a good guy he is which is frustrating because I know what I deal with every day and I am also a good person. Idk why this triggers me so much but it does. We are on a trip for a friends wedding, 15 minutes before we had to leave for the ceremony, he realized he forgot to bring a bow tie to the black tie wedding. We arrived late to the church after the bride walked the aisle because he made the uber drive around MULTIPLE STORES trying to find a bow tie. And of course everyone we meet along the way is always like “poor guy, it happens to anyone” and I’m just the hateful b.

The next day we were taking another flight to go visit my family, he forgot that he had medicine in the hotel fridge and didn’t remember until we were at the airport, so we had to ask the taxi driver to drive back to the hotel and pay double the fair of course. When we got to our destination he complained about the car reservation I made because I selected an automatic car in case I wanted or needed to drive and I didn’t want to change it to manual.

Yesterday during a tour he forgot his charger at a restaurant far from where we are staying and wanted to make the tour guide take us back to get it. Today, we are driving to another city and we have to go out of our way to back to get the effing charger.

Instance number four and why I’m writing this post because it was my final straw. I have taken care of everything in this trip, flights, stays, tours, restaurants etc. All except transportation to get to the next city because we weren’t sure if we were going to take a bus, train or road trip. I’m tired and I asked him to make a car rental reservation so he could go get the car and I could sleep in a little bit. Well… he did the reservation, but he did it under my name because supposedly “I already had an account” so when he got there to pick up the car this morning they of course told him I needed to be there because it was under my name, and of course, I lost it.

This has all transpired within the course of a week and a half, leaving him over this feels a bit sudden, but at the same time there’s a behavioral pattern that has been established since before this trip. Something that it’s supposed to be fun and relaxing has been unnecessarily stressful.

Boyfriend never knows what he wants to eat. He asks me what to eat each time he's hungry. If I suggest something, he might not like it, and if he likes it, I cook it. If I cook it, he might eat it, but if he eats and doesn’t like it, he won’t finish his food and barely eats.

He waits till the last minute to want food and then he gets super hungry, then gets annoyed and short tempered and wants me to hurry with the meals I make. I then started asking him hours in advance what he feels like each time so I can plan ahead and avoid that, but he will say he doesn’t know.

What’s worse is because I can never tell what he will want to eat, chances are we don’t have ingredients for the meal he FINALLY feels like eating and have to go buy ingredients, but at times it’s too late and shops are closed. Then he rushes me again.

There was a time he didn’t like what I cooked and asked me to cook something else for him... Also, him taking long to decide means I might have to cook a meal after 8pm when I am exhausted.

Each day I get anxiety because I know at least two meals a day need to be cooked from scratch and I never know what he will want. Most meals take a minimum of 1 to 2 hours to make and be done with. I then have to clean pre and post meals. This means I spend nearly all day cooking or cleaning as in the morning I clean and tidy the house and im done by 10am or 11am depending on what's happening, by the time I'm done I have to make a meal so I can't rest, once the first meal is done its around 12pm or 1pm, then that gives me some time to do other things but I have to clean up from the recent meal and catch up on laundry, etc, by the time I've showered etc I have to make the next meal... I can't work.

I can’t meal prep because he only likes fresh meals and won’t eat meals after more than a day.

My husband just finished all the payments to his ex wife and her dad ( he owed him a debt ) after 4 years from his divorce .. anyway I found an email from my husband to his ex wife’ dad asking him to confirm the that he received all the payments, which he answered yes and wished all the best then my husband replied saying thanks for your wishes, “and he accepts everything but it is hard to accept that someone was unfaithful which what it was”( he meant the ex wife.., she cheated on him and asked for divorce, he found out that she was cheater after the divorce)

Anyways, he continued saying, anyway I hope everyone is happy after all.

And then the dad replied saying you seem in a good place, and that we have to look forward and not think of the not good things etc …

Idk how to feel about this exchange! Part of me thinks that he wanted to tell the dad she was indeed cheater because the dad was dying it.. and part of me thinks.. why does he still care and why would he wish “ everyone happiness “

How would you feel about think if it was you?
Not sure if my husband is still stuck in the past, or it was to tell the dad “she was a cheater as I told you” why would he care?

They were together for 16 years ( married for 5 or 6 years)

My ex gf & I have been in a relationship for 3.5 years, we ended the relationship because I changed my career a year ago, i need a year to get settled completly, she was supporting too but 2 month before she got an arranged marriage proposal from her family and her family convinced her that I am not good for her. She easily got convinced, she blocked me from everywhere, she moved on from me completely and getting married soon. Now, I have a question whether she was in love or she was pretending, because I still can't sleep and digest. She blocked me from everywhere. Last time when I called her, she was laughing and cold. I can't understand how can a person who made so many promises and used to talk daily, changed suddenly. So, can you tell me?

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years, living together for almost a year. I started nursing school this past fall and made friends with a girl- call her Lisa (24 F) and a guy- call him Benny (32 M). We all became very close. Studying for exams and occasionally going out for drinks. Last week, I told my boyfriend I’d like to invite both of them on a trip that would include him and Lisa’s fiancé. So it would be all 5 of us because Benny doesn’t have a girlfriend currently. He told me he has no interest in meeting my friends much less going on a trip with them. I told him that I’d like to go as a graduation celebration next summer and thought I’d bring it up now (I’m a big planner). The three of us work so hard and it would be fun. My boyfriend got mad and told me it was disrespectful to invite another guy on vacation. I’m conflicted because on one hand I understand his concern because if the roles were reversed I would probably feel weird about it too, but I also invited him to come. So in that case, if the roles were reserved, I’d go on the trip with him and his friends. And yes, I know not everyone is like that so I’m conflicted on what the right answer is here. Anyone have any thoughts?

This is my first time writing on Reddit so apologies if I didn’t follow all the rules! I’m constantly listening to podcasts that read stories and the people usually have some really helpful/good advice.

I (26F) have been dating a guy, let’s call him Alex (32M) for almost a year and a half. It’s always been a bit of an eventful relationship, as Alex is a recovering addict and has 2 kids with his ex (who is very emotionally abusive towards him). He would sometimes go through stages of ghosting me/shutting me out but overall I would say it’s a bit of a toxic relationship.

Recently I had family visit me over my birthday and they had left me about £250 cash. I had kept the money in my purse and had taken some of it, maybe once or twice. One night I had gone out to a quiz and taken the purse with me. Then two days later I went to get some cash and it wasn’t there. I would remember if I had hidden it somewhere, but surely I’m not that big of a dumbass of bringing that much cash out with me. I asked Alex, and he tried to calm me down and said we would find it.

Later on the same day, I had checked my online bank account and money was missing. I was panicked because it was almost £200 that was missing - when I went to report the fraud it said that all my money was being sent to Alex’s account. But when I asked he said that none of it was in his account. The bank said sometimes scammers use people you’ve sent money to before to not raise suspicion but now I’m doubting if he ever showed me his account to prove the money wasn’t going there.

He also owes me money from a concert and said he’s sent it but the bank is what’s taking forever. And then two days after this all happened he got a call from his solicitor (he’s been going through stuff with his ex for custody) and they said fraud is looking into all his finances.

We’ve had a bit of a toxic time together but I do really love him and don’t think he would ever do something like this to me.

But also it’s not the first time I’ve lost cash in my house. This might be something different all together but he will also tell me he’s going to do something and then it never actually comes to fruition. So how do I know he’s telling the truth? How do I bring this up? Is it worth bringing up? I’m assuming if I bring this up it exposes a deep issue of me not trusting him but I’m not sure!

TLDR: I think my boyfriend is stealing from me but don’t know how to bring it up & if I do bring it up I’m not sure if we can survive that questioning.

Hi - everyone! Just got out of a relationship with a woman who is a resident doc and we were dating for around 9 months. The relationship was very healthy outside of an older resident who would consistently hit on her despite knowing she was in a relationship and rebuffed many times. He would keep chasing her and was known to be a kind of special case ( does not have many friends, people know his weird habits such as trying to get people from work to convert to different religion etc). Our relationship was going really well and then all of a sudden a few issues which were different (including diet - vegan vs non veg). I tried to create a plan to come to a happy medium for both parties - but it seemed that she wasn't ready to make the changes and didn't even want to try to come to a compromise - so we ended up breaking up. It was a very difficult breakup for me personally because we had a strong relationship and this came out of nowhere (0-100 in the matter of 2/3 weeks). This was probably a month ago around mid April. Around 2 weeks ago, a few of her coworkers who I had met reached out to me and asked me about her. I informed them that we broke up and are no longer together. They proceeded to tell me that after we broke up less than even a few weeks later - she was with the weird coworker who kept trying to hit on her. Normally, I would be like this isn't any of my business and she can do whatever she wants. I did find out that the weird coworker has a patten of going after women who are out of relationships or divorced and abuse them. This includes physical and mental abuse - such as hitting, yelling, etc. It seems that she knows about this ( as she was warned by her coworkers). Her coworkers reached out because they were worried about her and my question would be - would it be appropriate for me to reach out to family/close friends (that her coworkers do not know of) to warn them that she is in danger or is this one of the situations where it sucks but its better to just leave them alone and have the possibility of her being mistreated badly?

I (31F) have been dating my current boyfriend (39M) for 2 years. We started talking as I was going through a divorce and he was coming out of a long term relationship. Communication and conflict resolution has been the biggest hurdle. I get anxious with conflict and want it resolved immediately. He gets quiet and likes to wait until things cool down to talk about it, but wasn’t always good at communicating those space needs initially and would just go silent. We have mostly worked through that and it’s been better. He is in general a very on guard person when it comes to trust. He doesn’t tolerate many things, and I think it makes me a little anxious like if I mess up then that’s it, it will be done.

I started doing BJJ about 8 months ago. I did my first two competitions and it was a little rough. A brown belt (37M) has been coaching me pro bono. He has lots of good advice, but has kind of been pushing me to take initiative and jump full on into training. My bf is a little skeptical of his intentions, but nothing has been off to me about any interactions. After class Monday night, we were talking because I was kind of thinking about quitting competing. He has been getting after me to figure out when to go over videos from my last competition. So after class I said let’s just go sit at a fast food place and watch the videos.

I always text my bf after class is over. But I didn’t. I went to meet my coach. He video called me when I got there, I thought it was an accident so hung up and messaged him instead. I told him what I was doing and with whom immediately. He went ghost after that. I finished my meeting, left, and tried to call him several times until he finally woke up. He said the way I handled it (not saying anything) was what made him mad. I said it was a last minute thing (and it was) and that I was just tired and didn’t think about it.

The next day he came over and things were a little weird. He left and we spoke on the phone and got on the subject again. He said he was still a little rattled. I told him I had been nervous to tell him beforehand that I was going to watch videos. So I changed my story and that has him upset 2.0. I get it. I own my communication was awful and it looks bad. I’m struggling because I know the coaching thing is professional, and that I am not doing anything inappropriate, but I still felt anxiety to tell him the truth because I was afraid he was going to be mad.

This morning we spoke briefly on the phone, I asked what he needed from me and he said he didn’t know. I asked if he needed space and he said he just wouldn’t be very talkative right now. I said have a good day and I love you and he said the same.

At this point I’m ready to just give up BJJ and focus just on the relationship. But I don’t know if there’s going to be a relationship to focus on after this.

What is the best way to continue resolving this? Give him space?

My (27f) husband (30m) asked to divorce me. We have been together 6 years on and off. The worst part of it is that it is not the first time, it’s been like twice now. I give him the benefit of the doubt and feel he has changed, believe his words, go to couple’s therapy, put a lot of effort on how to make it work only to then discard me like nothing. Seemingly out of nowhere. I had to cancel our therapy sessions and our therapist said she was equally as surprised.

First time he left was about 2 years ago. He had packed his bags already, was only going to leave me a letter but his friend convinced him not to, and just said this was something he had to do. I cried and begged for a second chance and he said he had to leave. “For us”. I thought we could work it out, but during this time I went crazy. I was so traumatized by the sudden change. I had never experienced anything like that before. My attachment to him was so severe, and I struggled so much with my anxiety. It was bad. I learned he was doing such reckless things and never once reached out to me during that year we were apart on how I was doing or anything. I realized I had to move on so I tried. I felt like I found myself again and felt stable enough. I had moved to a different place, got my own car, was living closer to friends, and then he reached out to me on our anniversary. He was far away so we tried long distance first and then about 8 months later we moved in together. He moved back to our home state and I thought things were finally normal. I thought we were working towards breaking the pattern. I knew it’d be hard because he had so much anger and I was anxious about him leaving again but we were going to therapy. I thought it was working.

This time he left he said he resented me and hated me. The last month he had been growing increasingly angrier towards me. Yelling at me more and using foul language when frustrated. The last argument we had he came to me on a rage and said he wanted a divorce and i’m not going to change his mind.

I got us an apartment under my name since he destroyed his credit the last time he left and is still trying to fix it. I got a second job cause he promised this time he’d stick around forever. So I believed him. He’s been in between jobs since I met him, but I thought it was normal. It’s only been 3 months since we moved in together and he got a job he liked about 2 months ago via his parents that I thought he’d stick with but now he’s trying to get sabbatical so he can go upstate again for a month. He did this last time too. Always the same thing. Quits job and goes upstate and “finds himself again in nature” and then finds new job again through his parents, new relationship, hookups, failed relationships, and last part was when he reached out to me.

Every time he leaves he makes me believe that I am solely the problem. I destroyed his life, his routine, his stability, his friendships, his money. Now he’s telling our friends that the only way he’d get back together with me was if he got hit by a train and got memory loss. That he hates me. That last time he left is because he had to and still had love for me but this time he hates me. Such hurtful words from someone I thought loved and cared for me, respected me. I heard he was smiling and looked happy the other day by one of our neighbors. I left to our friends apartment cause I couldn’t be there. He’s still trying to figure out what to do but it seems he wants to stay in my neighborhood this time.

I feel so so so so much shame, I thought i’d never be like this, that i’ll never beg a man, that I can be by myself. I start to believe that I am all those things he said about me, and ruined his life, that it was only me. I did it. I was too mean, too controlling, not understanding. He’s saying he’s free, got rid of me, and that he’s happy he stood his ground against me and left me. I don’t know what to do. I feel i’m the one being irrational for having too many feelings since he’s seemingly doing great and i’m not. I don’t know how to stop feeling bad and embarrassed. No one in our circle was surprised, I was warned that it would happen again but I believed him instead. So much shame.

Now I feel powerless since I feel this time he’s gone for good and I will never say my side. I feel blindsided again.

How did you stop it?

I [35M] and my wife have been married for several years and have children together. My wife is Northern European, and we currently live in a small town in southern Italy.

After about a year of thinking it over, we’ve decided to move abroad to a country where we lived before. This wasn’t an impulsive decision. We’ve talked about it a lot, and we both feel it’s the best choice for our family.

The main reasons are quality of life, opportunities for our kids, and our own mental/emotional well-being. I don’t feel like there is much of a future for me in this town, and my wife has really struggled to integrate here. We also don’t want our children growing up surrounded by a mindset and culture that we personally find very limiting.

The hard part is that my children are my parents’ only grandchildren.

I finally told my family. My dad was sad, but mostly understanding. My mom basically shut down and went completely silent. My sister reacted much more aggressively and told me I’m selfish, that I don’t care about family, and that I’m taking away the only real joy my parents have.

I understand why they’re upset. I wasn’t expecting them to be happy about it. But what hurts me is that nobody really asked why we’re doing this or tried to understand our situation. It immediately became about my parents’ happiness, their loss, and how guilty I should feel.

I feel torn because I do love my family, and I don’t want to hurt them. At the same time, I don’t think I should make major life decisions for my wife and kids based on my parents’ emotional dependence on seeing the grandchildren often.

How do I handle this without completely damaging my relationship with my parents and sister?

So we were talking on the phone about going to see a horror movie tomorrow but i was reluctant as i get bad dreams after watching these kinda movies. Worst, i can remember both the movie and dream vividly so i try to avoid them as much as possible. However, after dating my bf of 3 years, we have went to see horror movies numerous times despite him knowing my feelings about it. I just close my eyes most of the times and he gives me warnings when theres something about to appear on the screen.

After talking about the movie, I brought up the one thing he's scared of, Momo. I laughed and joked saying, "it's funny how you are scared of the Momo figure but are not scared of watching horror movie", and i also said that im gonna send him an image of it. I didn't send it anyway (i knew that was over the line) but i continued laughing with tears. This hurt him as he felt like i wasn't taking his trauma seriously.

I snapped and apologised because i knew i had crossed the line. I said sorry over and over again. I even offered to watch another horror movie, which i know is scarier, without closing my eyes like i usually do and alone. He accepted that deal and added that he's gonna send a scary image when im about to sleep but i argued it's not fair that way since i never sent any images to him.

Now, he's deliberately torturing me by using silent treatment. Not answering to my questions. Not forgiving me. And even tried to control my daily family dinner time. Passive aggressiveness when i had to end the call to cook dinner for my family. He said i deserve this kind of treatment so that i got hurt the same way he was hurting too. And nothing i do will ever be enough until he say so.

Is this abuse or i really deserve this? I feel like the line between those two is getting blurry to me.

Let me start by saying I love my girlfriend. She just gets me, she understands my neurodivergent brain, and she typically cheers me on in most situations.

One thing that has been a constant battle is my overworking and her underworking. I do about 90% of our chores. I cook, I do the dishes, I do the laundry, I fold said laundry, I do the grocery shopping, I do the vacuuming, I do the mopping, mowing, edging, I work our vegetable gardens, I do everything in our medical gardens, I wake up at 5 am and work around the house, she wakes up at 8:30 most days and barely has time to get ready for her work at 10, and I could keep going.

This has been a consistent argument but I just shut up, bottle it up, and do the work that needs done. Recently I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting though. Long story short, we were in the process of buying a house and it ended up falling through last second at fault of our lender. When talking about the situation it is communicated to me that she hadn’t even saved 1k to go into the house after I had busted ass over the past 6 months to save hard. I also did every bit of paperwork, I paid for inspections, I paid for radon etc. We also have had multiple conversations about how much she hates our apartment and how she can’t do another year here…… so I move heaven and earth, sacrifice my finances, time, and peace to make this house happen to make her happy and almost zero effort is given on her end.

This sounds silly but last night we were watching it’s always sunny and Dee says “I could never date that guy, he’s too big of a Pussy” when referring to a guy in a similar situation. Where he does everything around the house….. I know it’s always sunny is a ridiculous show about terrible people, but I honestly thought to myself “I’m tired of being the pussy” I don’t want to live like this. I’ve never had a partner that wants to take care of me, I’m always the one that comes through and carries the household weight while also running a business with 10 employees.

I love this girl, I love her family, but I don’t think I want to start a family with her to be honest. I can barely run at my current capacity and I can’t trust her to step it up when we suddenly have a kid running around.

I feel crazy, I feel like I’m at my wits end, and I just don’t know how long I can keep giving my all. I guess I’m just wondering if any of you are in / have been in similar situations and if so what you did / what you think I should do.

I've been working very hard to give myself the life that I want. I work 50+ hours every week and I've been going to class at night to become a union electrician. I've been saving up to buy a house and I'm finally reaching my goals. I found a bunch of houses that I love and I'm ready to make the jump.

My boyfriend has been very supportive and is very sweet but I'm starting to get frustrated. We've been together for going on 5 years. Our dead bedroom started about 2.5 years ago when we moved in together and he really doesn't seem to want physical touch any more. We hug and have little pecks on the lips but that's really it.

He says he has trouble getting hard for sex but he has no problem jerking off. At this point we've discussed these things several times. Going to a doctor, seeing a therapist, etc. At this point I don't know what else to do. He doesn't ever check me out anymore and rarely gives compliments.

My timeline that I made very clear from the first week we started dating was that if it was going well I'd like a proposal within 3 years. We've had multiple talks about these things. But none of it seems to be coming to fruition. I'm honestly becoming incredibly resentful.

I'm at the point where it feels like the best thing is to start making offers on houses and jump on the one that feels right and move on without him. The thing is I'm kind of doing this behind his back and I feel like I'm being deceitful to him. I'm feeling torn about the break up but it feels inevitable.

Have you ever had this happen? What would you do in my shoes?

I'm 25F .. my friend is 25M.. we have known each other since 2020.... he is 6 months younger to me.. we know each other since college.. we studied together from the second year of engineering... he is my best friend.. everyone in college thought we were together.. he said he liked me right in the beginning.. but i said i don't.. he said it's okay and our friendship continued... I liked him too.. but i don't know whether it was lust or something else.. in 4th year we got a little involved physically...it was due to the heat of the moment.. didn't do anything much .. since the past 3 yrs we got lot more physically involved...didn't have sex but we kissed.. went up till 3rd base... maybe just 3 times in 3 years.. we sexted each other a lot...

Every night I think of us.. spending time together... making love..

All this while he kept telling he loves me..i know he loves me..he is veryy genuine.. always cares.. always puts efforts..how much ever i push him away. He always kept coming back.. he is the greenest flag

It's been more than 5yrs since he has told he loves me.. I've been pushing it.. maybe my heart loves him too..

I want more of him..when we meet ..and he leaves..i miss him so much... I'm usually not a person who stays connected to ppl but when it is him i want to talk to him every day..

I always wanted to marry the person i dated.. I'm kind of perfectionist and wanteverything to be perfect.. I come from middle class family..in childhood i had to compromise on lot of things cos of money... to study well amd save...

When it comes to his family..i really don't like them.. they don't really have anything much.. my parents after struggling andsaving so much have done some things for me and my sister...

Both of us are in good job now.. he earns more than me and really well..

He's that kind of person who's so easy going.. Goes to gym.. office.. eats sleeps amd loves traveling.. in this 5yrs never thought of anyone else expect me

When I think about the marriage part with him..i feel like running away and not wanting this..he has a useless sister too who spends his money like crazy..does nothing

All this irritates me.. my parents said let's start searching for marriage next year.. I'm really confused..abt him...i don't know whetehr i love him..is it just physical lust or actual love

When he doesn't talk to me i feel very bad.. he says he'll wait for me until the day i get married..

Sometimes i feel i should meet some boys in arranged marriage and see what i really want...

Some one help me please......

Hi there! Just wanted some advice, thoughts or if anyone has ever felt the same.
I am in a very very loving relationship. He is so good to me and I hardly have any complaints. This is very new to me- have had a couple of crappy relationships over the years.
There’s now been 2 instances in the past year where I’ve gotten angry at him. Nothing major, but enough to warrant me getting upset. Here’s the thing- I feel so extremely guilty when getting angry at him. Because deep down I know he means well, I know he does everything in his power to make me happy. And I know he doesn’t deserve a naggy girlfriend. And I hate getting mad at him.
I’ve never really experienced this before? I know my feelings are valid and deserve to be heard. But this man has went above and beyond to make me happy. Any thoughts??