u/TooMuchDread

Obs: if my english is not perfect i apologise in advance.

Married for three years. I'm extra nice to my wife, have always been very passionate about her, did (mostly still do) many things for her, like her breakfast everyday (since i wake up earlier), leave everything ready for her to go to work (i work from home). I fill her with kisses and hugs many times of the day, as soon as she leaves the bed, when she's going out to work, when she arrives. I always thought that was necessary to keep things alive, and i was wrong.

Although i'm like this with her, i'm not like this with other people, ever. Me and my whole family have always been very cold, not out of hatred or anything else, but we don't show emotions to people, to anyone. If we're sad, we keep it to ourselves, if we're happy we don't overreact to it (even if inside we're incredibly happy), it's just how we are, nothing artificial.

With my wife i am different, exclusively with her. I tell more things, i get excited for her, i get sad for her, etc. With time she started disrespecting me, specially my intelligence. I've read a lot my whole life, enough to know that because there are too many things to know for me to be confident about anything, hence i prefer to always be skeptical about the facts i give, and even the opinions (since i'll never know all the variables). I think this characteristic makes it seem like i'm a bit stupid to her, and i've mentioned many times that i try to be the nicest but i won't take bs from anyone, ever. In the beginning she apologised when that happened (it wasn't that often), and we moved on.

Then time kept passing and it increased, add to that the fact that i can't remember last time i shared something where she actually said anything other than "hum...". Then she started disagreeing with everything i said, even if it was obviously correct, and the few things that she did agree she talked about it like it's the most obvious thing in the world, like i'm stupid to be even mentioning it. About two months ago i told her again that i won't be taking bs, we're married and we're supposed to fill each others void (or whatever we have in existence), not to compete on who's right or wrong. And this time she disagree that she does that, so i explained her the examples and she would pick one small example that i gave and changed the focus of the conversation to something else that i did wrong, like the fact that she asked me to do something this way and i ended up forgetting, for example.

One month ago, after a whole month of continued disrespect, i mentioned again. I've been trying really hard to keep this going, but i don't think it's possible anymore. My whole life i saw marriage as the greatest definition of partnership and companionship, that is the one person that will be on your side (who is not your mother), but it seems now that i live with the enemy. Of course we don't have sex anymore, i guess with this context it goes without saying. So i stopped hugging and kissing her, i don't feel it anymore. I still do other things but mostly to avoid drama, cause i'm out of patience for that anymore. Could there be any way out if not divorce?

Hello all!

I've been hiking with my wife for about 2 years. We do some moderate hikes usually, did a few hard ones (but not really hard). Usually inclination from 500 to 720m. Never camped or anything, always one day hikes.

I'd like to do some more difficult ones, but i fear doing it, specially with my wife, fear of getting into a point of insane difficulty where although i can go up, we might struggle to go down afterwards. Is there a trick to lose this irrational fear? And i say irrational because i know that a lot of the hikes i fear we could do it already.

Thank you!

E tenho dito.

Nunca vi brasileiro feliz com o sucesso alheio, exceto se família (e talvez ainda).

Nunca vi país tão bom em tentar nivelar tudo por baixo.

Pergunta livre de prejulgamentos, trata-se de uma dúvida autêntica.

Alguém escolhe o concurso/carreira com base em integridade, que sempre convirja com suas convicções e que talvez te ajude a mudar algo para melhor?

TCE-SP, auditor de controle para Contabilidade.

Alguém aqui viu aquele edital? A quantidade é literalmente desumana. Qual é o propósito? Eu entenderia se fosse um edital um pouco menor que eles aprofundassem bastante nele, para testar de fato um conhecimento focado, mas cobrar lei de saneamento para alguém que é formado em contábeis? Cobrar lei de diretrizes da educação brasileira, para um contador?

Não sei se isso é geral, mas tem parecido que o processo de criação dos editais hoje em dia é um cara chegando pra banca e vomitando um monte de assuntos genéricos e os caras enfiando tudo guela abaixo.

O que acham?

Have to say that after watching so many shows in my life, nothing comes close to Betty Draper from Mad Men.

How about you?

We've been married for 5 years. We don't do anything sexual; she dislikes me deeply even though i try to be as present of a husband as i can; she believes i'm stupid even though history shows i'm not; she'll talk to her colleagues about everything, but none of it she'll talk to me about.

If i ask anything, literally anything, she'll either completely ignore (acting like she didn't hear it), or it'll be a cold yes/no.

I can't remember the last time I shared any news about myself with her that she showed any kind of interest.

I also can't count how many times i mentioned all these things to her and somehow it became about all the bad things that i apparently am. Sometimes i even go through the humiliation ritual of apologising for nothing, just to see if i'll get any type of affection.

Why is it that i can't leave this misery behind?

TL;DR: i get zero affection or respect from my wife.

Hello all!

I don't know if happens to you as well, but here's how it works for me:

If i drink no coffee, my mood gets really bad, so it's something i considered not doable anymore (i've tried staying without caffeine for many months, it's just not worth it.

If i wake up and make a regular coffee, in one hour i have panic attacks - EVERY SINGLE TIME! Now that, as many of you must know, is DEFINETELY not worth it as well.

So i've tried finding alternatives, first with green tea, then black tea, but none of that did anything for me.

What finally worked?
I started mixing decaf with caffenated coffee. So i put around 30% of caffenated powder and 70% decaf. I get the benefits of the caffeine without the panic attack. At first i thought it might have been psychosomatic, but then thought 'even if it is, it's worth not having any panic attack', but the other day i simply forgot to divide and made a full caffenated coffee. I wasn't thinking of anxiety, i simply forget. And one hour later i had a panic attack, and only after i realised i forgot to distribute between the two types.

Does this happen to any of you as well?

It's like your home country is not where you should be. Then you move to another continent, and everything is even more different.

Then you isolate yourself and that's it, you can't feel like part of this world. How is that even possible?

Bom dia pessoal!

Estou um pouco por fora das datas e das novidades, mas lembro há alguns meses que disseram que em julho teria um julgamento final disso por uma corte aqui na Itália. Ainda está válido isso? Quando será?

Is there something you do that at least make it less desperate? I'll try them all.

Thank you!

'Bora!

Qual área e quanto tempo de estudo? Vai priorizar?

The advices that i get to get rid of this horrible thing are either from people who never had panic attacks, or people who are just in a good phase and believe they're feeling good again (like i was for years).

No advice of meditating; deep breathing; trying to tell yourself a story; NOTHING will solve this. It's just a bug i must have and have to accept and live with this curse.

Hello all!

I used to have panic attacks when i was younger, but along the way i managed to control and it stopped, for many years.

Three years ago, i tried to go carnivore, and immediately i felt a bit more anxious, but thought it was the keto flu, as many people say, but then i started having horrible panic attacks, and i just simply stop and went back to a 'regular' diet.

Two weeks ago i decided to go keto, try again. And incredibly, last few days i've had many panic attacks, like never before.

Anyone ever had this type of problem?

Could be men, women, i don't care.

Incrível como as coisas continuam se repetindo em um ritmo cada vez mais rápido hoje em dia.

Eu sei que isso vem sendo dito há muito tempo, mas com a internet e as redes sociais, os mesmos erros são repetidos em apenas alguns anos, e ninguém parece aprender com eles.

PS: Quando eu digo "ninguém" ou "todo mundo", quero dizer a maioria das pessoas. Obviamente, não é para ser interpretado literalmente.

Exemplos:

Política – As pessoas elegem um extremista de esquerda, então a direita se torna mais extrema em resposta e eventualmente elege um extremista de direita. A esquerda então reage tornando-se ainda mais extrema para combater isso, é eleita, e o ciclo continua. Realmente parece que as massas nunca perceberão que apenas uma pessoa racional, equilibrada e educada poderia possivelmente ajudar a resolver este mundo polarizado. É um ciclo sem fim que apenas se move muito mais rápido agora.

Dinheiro – É fácil ver que ser bilionário ou extraordinariamente rico não necessariamente traz felicidade. Muitas dessas pessoas parecem miseráveis, constantemente procurando um novo objetivo que vá além das aspirações humanas comuns — seja colonizar Marte, controlar os dados e a privacidade das pessoas, ou qualquer outra coisa. Ainda assim, as pessoas não parecem aprender que o dinheiro é importante apenas até certo ponto. Depois disso, muitas vezes ele se torna um vazio existencial, uma tentativa interminável de preencher algo que nunca foi adequadamente compreendido ou examinado.

Validação social (especialmente online) – Tantas pessoas buscam desesperadamente atenção, curtidas e aprovação de estranhos. Quanto mais conseguem, mais parecem precisar. Esse padrão continua se repetindo, e ninguém parece aprender com isso. Eu não entendo.

Todos os dias procurando se saiu edital, que já era pra ter saído, e nada!

Alguém aí tem alguma notícia??

Acho que todos já passamos por isso: começamos um estudo pesado com a motivação lá em cima, dura 1, 2 às vezes até 3 meses, mas aí começa a desandar.

Pra você, qual é o segredo?

Vou dizer o meu, que não é segredo nenhum, mas é a única coisa que funcionou: tem que focar em uma área, e não em um concurso.

Houve um tempo que eu queria passar no TCU, e é isso, TCU e pronto. Estudar pra um concurso sem previsão é tortuoso, porém quando decidi que estudaria pra área de controle tudo mudou, e meu foco sempre mudava, mas obviamente esse foco é pontual, ou seja, diz respeito apenas às matérias específicas, afinal a essência é sempre a mesma nessa área.

E você? Algum segredo que gostaria de compartilhar?

Olá pessoal!

Pergunta realmente por curiosidade, lerei todas as respostas! Quero só ter uma ideia.

Se puder ainda dizer se há previsão ou edital já publicado pro concurso que está estudando...