My girlfriend is on the birth control pill and I’ve seen first hand the amount of side effects that it can have on a woman. My question to any other men who’ve been in relationships with women on birth control would be is there anything I should be doing to take the weight off of her a bit? Just want her to feel like she’s not alone.
My wife and I are both 29. I think my wife is perfect in all aspects except the sex department. We’re opposites when it comes to that. I can have it and want it 24/7 and she can probably go the rest of her life without wanting it.
As of late it’s been messing with my head since I don’t feel wanted in that way. She’s great and takes care of me in every other way so it’s like I know she loves and wants me but then I get in my feels after some days or weeks of not having sex. I also feel like I’m over reacting cause we have sex at least once every 3 weeks, 1-2 weeks is usually the average. We have no kids tho so I can’t imagine once we do have kids.
The biggest thing for me is that I always have to initiate it. Makes me feel like she doesn’t really want to.
I guess I’m looking for advice and people that can relate.
I know eventually age will get to me and my sex drive will go down. So the fact that I think she’s great in every other way has kept me positive to stick with it. I also don’t have to stress about questioning her loyalty because of who she is. So all the pros out weigh the cons and yet I still feel how I feel from time to time. Definitely not on purpose. It’s like that’s how I’m wired.
I’m hoping there’s many that have gone through what I am going through, stuck it out and can confidently say you’d choose the same partner in another life.
Not that theres anything wrong with it. People can want what they want.
Im curious what you all see that you've figured out is code for something else
Examples:
- "beat me at golf" "travel" "take me to a concert!"= have $$
- "traditional" = conservative
I, 17M, was reading Red Rising while driving through rural Wyoming the other day (I was not driving). Red Rising is an amazing book btw, 10/10 recommend. One particular scene from Red Rising filled me with an intense yearning for off-grid homesteading. What I mean by this is that I want more than anything to live off-grid with a wife in a log cabin on a mountain in the middle of the woods, which makes zero sense:
I'm only seventeen?!
I have zero survival knowledge and have never been a boy scout
I am reliant on and addicted to technology
I already have a girlfriend, yet I still dream of a hypothetical soulmate
I love talking to other people and want to be a polyglot (speak 3 rn)
I'm going to college and then grad school (astrophysics), I'm likely never escaping academia
I'm a city person, I love the bright lights and sounds and smells of huge metropolises
I'm not conservative nor a tradhusband, and don't want a tradwife.
Now, to be clear, I've held this fantasy for a while, but it kind of renewed itself with fervor and it's almost all I can think about. It's to the point where I'm reconsidering my career trajectory. I hate how much I want this. I hate how much it conflicts with everything else I want.
I need to get this out of my head 🤒 any and all advice is appreciated!
If I had to guess why l, I would say that back when I was drinking I would HAVE to sit while peeing, especially at night. Pretty sure I kind of got used to it. I dont drink any more, but sitting while peeing remains awesome. Theres probably dozens of us!
I have a brother (14M) and as his big sis (23F) I’ve trying to get him out of his shell, get involved with our family a little bit. He’s the youngest of us 3, and the only boy but we’ve never excluded him on anything, actually I take him everywhere, he’s told me before he and his friends consider me “the cool sister” because I always try to get involved in his activities, whether is driving him to his friends house or giving him money for snacks.
The only problem is, sometimes he isolates out of nowhere, prefers to be out with his friends, and is always in a bad mood when we’re out with my parents. Like just this past father’s day he ditched on dad and went out with his friends even though mom, sister (16F) and me told him how rude and inconsiderate was to leave.
We’re a close knit family, we can talk to our parents about anything, seriously anything it comes to mind, mom and dad have given us that privilege to share all of our experiences, we’re also big on physical affection whether is a hug, a kiss, annoying mom or dad and going into their room, you name it.
But it feels like he never wants to be part of it, no matter how much we ask. Our country just played this week and we were watching the match all together, and we called him over and over again and he never came downstairs. When we asked him why, he just simply shrugged and went back to his phone.
He wasn’t like this before he went off to high school , he used to talk about his day, how he felt etc, and now we’re lucky if we get a couple sentences from him.
Any advice? Parents are over it, but I want my brother to know that he has a loving family and we don’t suck lol
I posted a similar question on r/AskReddit, thought it'd be interesting to ask you guys too. Was there anything you watched as a kid that pretty much altered your perception of reality early on and got stuck in your head forever?
I’m a 28 y/o male, plenty of experience, but I still haven’t overcome this issue. Physically I’m in shape, I’m a mechanic and go to the gym 3-4 times a week. I do cardio and lift weights. I stopped watching porn years ago, and I don’t do anything that’s considered sexually unhealthy. I’ve had multiple partners, and sometimes this issue isn’t a problem, I’ve had a couple spur of the moment encounters where I didn’t think about it and I lasted quite a long time, but I’ve been seeing a new girl recently who’s been wonderful in every regard. We moved bases slow, but once it came time to go all the way I was extremely nervous and finished almost instantly. Afterwards I just felt worse and worse about it and the next few times were the same way. After that I started to make some progress, the past 3 times we had sex I was able to use the “start stop” method and after a few times my anxiety faded and I was able to go for awhile with no issues. However now I feel as if I have to live up to that every time like I set a standard for myself and I feel more pressured if that makes sense. Any time she mentions sex I immediately get anxious about it and worry I won’t be able to live up to the last few times we did it, and it feels terrible, but it’s like I can’t help it. I do have an anxiety disorder, so this is the culprit as physically I know I can do it, I just get in my head and I’m sick of feeling anxious about sex instead of being excited. Any advice is appreciated, I feel like I’m torturing myself trying to figure this out.
I think for me it was travelling to Germany and rolling in literal mud during a rock festival 😂
Doesn't have to be anything crazy. Could be funny, awkward, wholesome, or just completely random. What happened?
26m . . . Went through a divorce at 21 and a life changing miscarriage at 22. I’m scared to date and actually be committed; however, I don’t want to be the third wheel watching my friends experience life.
What age did you think you were going to find your person? Where are you now?
I'm talking about those things you always heard growing up and thought, "Yeah, sure." Then one day it happened to you, and suddenly it all made sense. What was it?
I’m 24 years old, completely broke, and it’s starting to take a real toll on me mentally.
I’ve been looking into different side hustles because I want to build something I can eventually scale into a full time business and finally leave my dead end job. Right now it feels like work is slowly sucking the life out of me.
Lately, it feels like life just keeps kicking me while I’m down. Seeing other people my age succeeding makes me feel like I’ve failed, and if I’m being honest, I’m ashamed of where I am right now.
That said, I’m not giving up. I refuse to let this be the rest of my life. I’m willing to work, learn, and put in whatever effort it takes I just need to find the right direction.
So, men of Reddit, if you’ve ever been in my position and managed to turn things around, what did you do? What side hustles or businesses actually worked for you, and what advice would you give someone who’s trying to build a better future from rock bottom?
Hey all. As the title suggests, I (31M) am a newly expecting father. My wife (32F) walked downstairs just this morning before leaving for work and dropped a pregnancy test on our counter that was positive. I was in disbelief at first, but that was quickly replaced by elation since I’ve always wanted to be a dad. However, we both understand this is extremely early and we don’t want to count our chickens before they hatch (literally) with the many complications that can arise during a woman’s pregnancy. I want to be as prepared for this moment as I possibly can and I was just curious, what did you guys do to prepare for this in your lives? Did you read baby books? Did you set up gynecologist appointments for your significant other? How early did you start preparing? Any and all tips you guys have, I would really appreciate it.
Like the title says. Just curious- obviously if it was a girl you were stringing along or keeping on the backburner, she may not have been “good” but even for those ones, how do you know- and what does it feel like
So I have guy friends whom although they are sweethearts to me most of the time, the rest of the time they say things to me that have me wondering whether they are just blunt or are looking down on me because I'm a woman. At the same time, thinking like this usually has me wondering whether I'm too sensitive for them. I also wonder: is it "boys being boys" or is it literally just lack of emotional intelligence?? How do I manoeuvre this?
If you have children, how old are they and how involved are you with raising them? I was thinking about how society has shifted, at least in the US, to expect more involvement from fathers other than just providing financial stability. I'm curious what this actually means on a day to day basis and how it has changed throughout childhood as well, i.e. were you less involved when your child was an infant, etc?
No wrong answers, genuinely interested in what the current state is out there!
The Male Loneliness epidemic is a multifaceted issue that has been difficult to break down and correct. I could probably discuss several social shifts and technology factors but for now I wanted to ask about one of the common rebukes to the issue:
“It’s self inflicted”
This response mostly posits that men are at fault because we are “emotionally stunted” and don’t make deep and meaningful emotional connections with other men due to patriarchal beliefs that men should be stoic, or that it is “unmanly” to express ourselves. While there is some truth to that in regard to those specific individuals who fall into the manosphere feedback loop, my anecdotal experience suggests this isn’t the case.
I have never had another man react negatively to or otherwise dismiss my emotional displays or discussions regarding my feelings or general emotional state IRL. On the contrary, the only time I’ve ever been told to “man up” or experienced a negative reaction has been by women who seem to still hold on to those aforementioned patriarchal beliefs despite their otherwise more progressive beliefs. It’s made me curious if I’ve just been lucky in my encounters with other guys, or if this is a common experience.
What have your experiences been regarding emotional openness with other men IRL?
I’m not talking about the obvious stuff like ghosting or directly saying “I’m not interested.”
I’m more interested in the small, everyday behaviors that usually reveal how someone feels.
What are the subtle things that make you realize a woman probably isn’t interested, even if she’s still being polite or friendly?