Any guys here in their mid-30s+ earning less than the median salary?
How do you process this personally, especially where you are not working in a personally fulfilling job.
They say that the industrial worlds drop in birth rate will cause massive problems in the future. They also say that robotics and AI will cause there to be so few needed workers that will need universal basic income to support the masses.
When is it time to tell yourself it’s okay for you to not keep trying?
I’m 35 divorced and just got out of the army I’m sleeping on my mom’s couch, I have no motivation left. I had a rough childhood that left me with cptsd and it’s always been hard for me to socialize so because of that I can say I only have one friend. There’s no amount of hard work that will allow me to own my house and rent here are really expensive and out of reach for me so for the long term I’m stuck on a couch. I just don’t care anymore there’s just no goal to works towards that make sense.
I am 28 years old currently jobless and working in cracking a permanent job exam that has the potential to make me settle. I often come across people who are either oversmart, needlessly rude and mocking for no valid reason.
Imagine a smug face on a dekivery driver who can't read a map and mocks you instead. It's as if trying to live a normal life and being empathetic always has some kind of penalty. I have realised quite late but I am not able to set boundaries with people and I am actually scared to confront them too. Irony is I am not weak at all in any way physically to be intimidated by these people but mentally when I am being mocked or questioned, my eyes get teary and my voice cracks. How do I change it?
I am 30. I work an entry level job that covers my rent and my living expenses. I don't really have any hobbies outside of being outdoors and reading. I enjoy watching movies or tv shows from time to time. I workout daily. I watch porn every now and then.
My life just feels boring. Granted, I have created this boring life after losing my family and having my life blow up. A little stability right now feels nice, but I worry that I am missing something.
All of my friends are married, buying houses, having kids, pursuing promotions. They sign up for marathons, go to fitness classes, start new sports, and just have a general enthusiasm for life. Being with them is great, but it also makes me feel like an outcast. It's like their lives have all been on an upward trajectory since we met and mine has just gone down. Getting harder to relate to these doctors and lawyers going on exotic trips while I just spend my days flipping burgers.
When I was younger I had this drive and desire inside of me. I wanted to workout and be the best. I wanted to study and learn stuff and have a high paying job. I wanted to go out on the weekends and meet new people. I thought of life as this grand adventure that was out there waiting to be lived. Now? It just feels like I am just coasting. I like my job, I like my coworkers, I like my friends, but I no longer dream of better.
It might be apathy, but I don't feel sad or down, just a strange contentedness with my life.
Complimentary? Suggestive? Straight forward? I’d be happy to hear all the suggestions
I noticed for me (30M) it’s getting more and more, and I can enjoy it maybe unfortunately. I lost the urge to do new things/meet new people etc.
How much is it for you?
Hey everyone,
It’s unfortunate that I need to make this post, but I’m looking for ideas on how I can support an old friend whose wife suddenly passed away.
We were close friends for quite a while, but we drifted apart a couple of years ago. Recently, out of the blue, I received a message from him letting me know what had happened. Since then, we’ve been messaging back and forth. I’m trying not to be too pushy, but I want him to know I’m here for him.
Randomly, He sent me his address and said I’m welcome to come by anytime. As a guy myself, I know that’s probably his way of saying he’s really needing support right now.
I also know that when life gets busy, a lot of us drift away from friends and support networks, so I understand that he may be trying to reconnect and rebuild that sense of friendship and support around him.
I’m honestly a bit stuck on what to do or say. I don’t want to bring too much energy, because that’s naturally my personality, and I definitely don’t want to say the wrong thing.
Do I take groceries? Pizza and beers? Just sit there and listen?
Any ideas or advice would really help.
Cheers,
Men of AskMenOver30! In the interest of creating a deeper, more engaging, and more relevant community for all of us, we've implemented a recurring, Weekly Wednesday check-in thread.
Feel free to share your wins, losses, and general progress. You can talk about anything from work and career, to personal projects, to personal development and family, to friendships and socialization, even dating.
Life is ongoing, and sometimes it's good to have a community around us that can reflect that. Hopefully this weekly check-in will serve as a good tool and outlet for those who need it.
You are encouraged not only to post, but to respond to posts by others. Support your fellow men in their trials and tribulations.
Please be respectful in your comments.
I have had a few moments where I was being disrespected. One moment it was the guy’s entire goal to get me angry. He kept “playfully” putting his hands on me while we were out at a club and then threatened to take me to an alleyway and fight me. We leave the club I get back into our car (group of 5 people) and he continues putting his hands on me and takes away my bag and threatens to stab me with my epipen. This is where I got angry and said “that is not happening” and yanked it back. He then said “hahahaha I love making people angry.” And the ride was kinda quiet the rest of the night.
I cut him off after that night but this and another altercation where some dude tackled me for pissing on a tree at a party, I can’t stop thinking about how I didn’t do anything. I just froze. I should have shoved the guy putting his hands on me and called the cops on the guy who tackled me, but I didn’t. I’m not looking for pity or sympathy here. I want to know how to stop thinking about this shit and move on with my life because it’s affecting my well being.
It was embarrassing and I feel like a failure for not enforcing my boundaries.
Thanks
Hi, my first time posting in here so I hope this is ok to ask here. I'm a 34 year old man, and my hair isn't growing back as thick as it used to be for some time now. My crown area is where the issue is, there IS hair but it's obviously thinning out and the rest of my hair just doesn't look great. It's annoying cos my grandfather, father and brother have a thick set of hair on their head and then I'm the one thinning.
I've also noticed my beard and the back/sides of my hair aren't growing as thick as they used to and this is when I don't get a haircut - and I usually get one every 4 weeks.
I have an appointment coming up with my doctor but that's in 2 weeks.. but that's just too long for me.
Are there any products/brands that you would recommend to help with the thinning hair? I know there's plenty of options like MANUAL, Hair + Me, him.. just to name a few. I want to start one of these products so has anyone had experience using these? Good or bad?
I know this sounds a little odd, but I grew up without a father, father figure, or brothers, and shaving was always one of those things I heard was a bonding experience for a lot of guys with the men in their family. I just turned 18 and am finally needing to shave, but I feel like I never really learned the technique or “how to do it right,” or how to not knick myself. It’s funny how something so small can make you realize what you missed growing up :)
I wonder if there is still stigma attached to divorce, that affects divorced people in daily life. I'd like to compare others' stories to my own. I don't have any divorced friends, so nobody to ask outside Reddit. If you feel that you were being treated differently because you're divorced (say at work), what was the situation like?
All comments are welcome.
Hi guys,
I’ve been trying to collect responses for a parenting/child safety survey for my project, but barely anyone around me is taking it seriously, so I thought I’d ask here instead.
The survey is very short (around 2 minutes), and I genuinely need real parents’ perspectives to make the project meaningful.
Even if your children are older now, you can still answer based on your experiences when they were younger.
I’d really appreciate anyone willing to help.
Survey link: [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdwgFEwIWgzyvBHNJLCJD0UA\_V2qSudMvdJqmSHeHHuuXJr2g/viewform?usp=publish-editor\]
Thank you :)
Edit: because some people are confused about this: nobody died. The cancer thing is just an example. We can substitute in a car accident and it would be effectively the same thing, the person is saying that X happened and there was a reason that X happened (not to be confused with cause). People also like to say things like "well the universe is trying to tell you something".
I don't understand how people can think that. You want to tell me there's a reason that a 4-year-old kid died from cancer? Nah, there's no "reason" for that.
You tell me that you can take a lesson from everything that happens to you? Sure that makes sense. But sometimes the lesson is that life is fucking random and bad things happen to good people. And that 4 year old isn't going to learn a lesson except that life is random.
I feel like the people who say that everything happens for a reason are trying to deal with the randomness of life. Which is understandable but I don't think it's helpful. I don't think it helps you deal with the world as it is.
I'm talking about people over 40, if you are wondering. Seems to me they should know better.
Is it common to have joint pains for no reason? How do you handle them?
Mom has been a widow for a very long time and I basically grew up without a dad. She was, and still is, extremely demanding and expects the best from me. Academically I should always excel, behavior wise I’m expected to be a saint, etc.
Things were okay when I was a student and away for school but the problem is I ended up in an extremely demanding field with very long hours. She never really had any friends and her family is very far away. She has a lot of anxieties and cannot drive outside of her immediate surroundings.
I feel stuck, I have no personal life despite always being very likable and popular. My weekends consist of driving 2 hours there and back to her place where I act like a personal consultant for managing the house, getting things fixed, and her everyday problems. Also do this over the phone during the week.
My work hours are so long and my lack of personal life, lack of time + availability of funds leads me to use substances for my only entertainment. How do I manage this situation?
Curious to hear how long you’ve been married
What are the cultural differences that you love?
What are the cultural differences that can sometimes be annoying?
Hi , I'm 23 years old and sometimes when i see my classmates from high school on social media achieving so much in life building wealth from themselves, touring foreign countries i somewhat feel jealous but i think i shouldn't bcz i did no hardwork in my life just doing a 9-5 job and my salary barley lasts until the next pay check. And i don't own anything that i can really be proud of. Maybe i am very immature. But sometimes people do tell me 23 is not that old but idk when i look at others of my age I feel really left behind. I don't have that great of communication skills I'm over-all a very overly anti-social guy. And I'm just scared that my life will be like this forever and I'm just a loser. I need some advice and comfort maybe. Thank you for reading this
I have male pattern balding from my grandpa and I wanted to know how to regrow the balding spot? I am 36, 37 soon, and I have a tea tree oil formula at home. Idk if it is helping or not. It doesnt look like I have a bald spot until my head is bowed or if a tall person is near me. 😂 I find some humor with it and dont get offended but I do want to keep it as long as possible. Any advice is appreciated!