u/im_justkendra

I often see a lot of discourse from men that are on apps.

But I don’t think they see/consider the other side of the coin.

What might be a perspective that is eye opening to any guy that might read this.

What comes to mind is for some (many?) women, the sheer number of people you have reaching out can be overwhelming. On the surface it sounds like a great problem to have… but everyone starts to blur together, unfortunately it becomes very taxing and often conversations are extremely repetitive. Now this isn’t any one sides fault, but when I see a guy complain about a women he matched with giving “no effort”, I don’t think they consider that this is the 1000th message you received today that says “hey, how’s it going”.

Super bored, but aching for some interesting interaction!

We don’t need to talk about the origins of the universe, but let’s speed walk thru the intros and dig into something juicier!

Give me your opinion on something, a hot take, etc.

Like we get it, you’re different… you’re not shackled by the chains of conformity /s

Seriously tho, just bc you go against the grain, doesn’t make you better or deeper than the rest of us.

To a certain extent it’s okay and good to push back on stereotypes and tradition. But when you’re doing it to just “be different” or to look down on others, you’re just a butthole.

I’m just really curious about like a guys youth, what common “coming of age” things are there, what aspects do you remember that most guys you think you go through? What things are you thinking about or worrying about, what concerns did you have (some of these things are sort of adolescence around high school age… but open to younger too).

I asked a similar question yesterday regarding maybe some traits that are seen as feminine that you don’t adhere to. And how we should be proud of those things.

Now I’m kinda looking to see the flip side of it.

What are some things that someone might say “that’s girly, or that’s stereotypical” that you do or feel that you’re like “yep! And I’m proud of it!”.

Bc just as healthy as I think it is to know and express that a woman can be fully herself while shunning or not adhering to traditional feminine characteristics… I think it’s really healthy to happily embrace sides of ourselves that might be seen as stereotypical. Because we are full, multifaceted people, and regardless of what boxes we fit in (or don’t fit in), we are allowed to be proud women and live without shame or conformity.

Like I’ll say I def like shopping, and makeup and embracing the beauty aspects that are seen as traditionally feminine.

I’ve heard several men state that they rarely receive compliments, even from their S.O.

How true is this for you?

Right away, lemme say… fuck traditional gender roles and ideals.

This post isn’t meant to disparage or to pigeonhole others into feeling like they have to meet any type of expectation or standard.

My goal is the opposite actually, to freely express things that don’t land or work with us… to point out despite where we may struggle, we are no less of a woman. And furthermore to kinda talk crap about the expectations that are placed on us just bc of our gender.

I really struggle with showing empathy and excitement… like when someone shows me their baby, I can’t be like “OMG!!!! How cuuuuuuuutttttteeeee!”… it’s not that I don’t think the baby’s cute or anything like that… it’s just not who I am. And that extends into a lot of aspects of my life where bc I’m a woman I’m expected to be this soft and gentle person that is overflowing with empathy and emotion. And for me, I can feel those things but I have a hard time showing them.

You can’t interact with them, the username is removed…

You step in and you’re like “boom! I’m here!”

Pew research shows that 70%+ of people that are single and actively looking for a relationship are NOT on apps.

Like out of 10 people you’re seeing less than 3 of them and then complaining about choice, and options, and failing or missing out.

Get out in the real world.

There are literally more single people walking around then you would ever be exposed to on apps.

Edit: I’ve never used apps fyi

Weird I know, but this might be the best way to talk to a specific group of people lol

I’m gonna be asking some probably basic and also open-ended superhero questions.

FYI… I have read one comic officially (the one where you get a lady Thor, powerful women are awesome!).

I don’t think I could bring myself to even be interested in a conservative man.

What that party represents, especially towards women… I just can’t.

I’m wondering where my stance kinda falls however with you guys.

Specifically thoughts connected to the type of people that might be consuming it for unintended purposes… not so much like “do I look good” or whatever.

Occasionally I use fashion advice subs here, and with every post I know I’m opening myself up to unintended attention. For example, I was gonna ask for advice on some high heels I own, I realized as I was about to post that they are open toed and instead of taking the time to edit the photo to hide my feet, I just decided it wasn’t worth it.

What do you think you guys get too much crap for?

And maybe as a good discussion point, what stuff do you think is totally fair?

Case in point… sometimes I post on fashion subs for advice, was looking at some open-toed heels for an event I have at the end of this month, and I had to have the real thought of “how do I edit the photo to hide my toes, while still showing the heels”… bc I know that putting my feet on here would be feeding someone’s “thing”!

It’s just annoying that you can ever just “be”.

Taking yourself out to dinner!

Maybe a movie!

Just you enjoying yourself!