I've decided to try to have a sexual relationship with a man, without getting emotionally attached. I don't know if I'm capable of it (I highly doubt it) but I think I'll try as it seems like my only option. Anyway practical tips are appreciated.
Just wondering if many guys would date a girl if she had sh scars or immediately be unnatracted? Scared for my future.
edit: i’m the female in question btw
I am not talking about planning or leading dates. But just regular communication to get know each other. Does it bother you if she never or hardly initiates calls/texts at the beginning? I feel like if I am usually the one to reach out to her it starts to feel like I am bothering her and she isn't much interested.
confused and hurt after letting him back
And I don't mean 50/50 in terms of finances only. That's not 50/50. I mean, isn't the ultimate ideal relationship one where both people are equally supporting the household, both financially & domestically? Surely that would make everyone's life a lot easier, no?
It bothers me that this dynamic generally receives heavy resistance whenever it's suggested in a discussion and I cannot fathom why.
Already regretting this (and overthought the flair - why) but feel like all other resources (eg friends) are going to have a biased reply.
39F in long term relationship - boyfriend has recently decided to hide porn in a locked folder on his phone. And not that I think this is a bad idea, but I have mentioned it makes me uncomfortable (mainly for his history of cheating). I know he's going to watch porn, jerking off is normal, blah blah blah. But is this just a normal thing now? What happened to going to a site for a quickie and closing out the window?
Mainly just trying to find a way to get myself comfortable since it doesn't seem like something he is willing to change (I am guessing he sees it as a breach of privacy).
Hi guys! Looking to get your opinions on this: do you need to feel physically attracted to someone before you develop romantic feelings for them? Or have you ever had someone you initially felt neutral-or even unattracted -toward become genuinely attractive to you as you got to know them?
And if attraction can grow for you, what tends to create it? Emotional connection? Personality? Confidence? Chemistry? The way they treat you?
Basically: does attraction open the door to attachment for you, or can attachment create the attraction?
Interested in hearing different experiences, especially whether this has changed for you with age or relationship experience, etc...
Did I over-romanticise everything?
Hi, I’m posting this in the hope that someone can give me some perspective because I genuinely don’t know how to feel about this situation.
I recently found out that one of my new classmates was going to a birthday party that I was also attending. We had spoken a little before, but we weren’t particularly close. I’ll admit that I had always found him attractive and, since I had liked him for a while, I secretly hoped that maybe something could happen between us. I’m not saying I expected him to want a relationship with me just because I’m attractive, but I did have that hope in the back of my mind.
At the party, we ended up kissing, hugging, and I eventually fell asleep with my head on his chest. It was my first time ever kissing someone, which probably made the whole experience feel even more significant to me. He was the one who initiated everything, and because I had liked him for a long time, I obviously didn’t exactly want to push him away. For the rest of the night, we were acting pretty much like a couple.
Before we went home, we agreed not to tell everyone about what happened, but we also didn’t agree to keep it completely secret between the two of us.
The next day, I texted him and asked whether the night had meant anything to him. He told me that he didn’t really know and that, from his perspective, it was probably just a “one-time thing.” I was honestly surprised because I’m not someone who normally does things like this. I’ve always been pretty guarded and have had this reputation of being the “untouchable” girl, so letting someone get that close to me was a big deal.
He asked if I was okay, and I told him honestly that the kiss had meant something to me. Since then, though, I feel like I’m being ghosted. He has also hung out with another girl and is apparently talking to her, as well as several other girls.
I’m not upset because I think he owed me a relationship. I understand that two people can experience the same moment very differently, and I know he’s allowed to see it as something casual. I just genuinely want to know whether I misread the situation because of my own feelings for him.
Did I over-romanticise everything, or was it understandable that I thought there might be something more behind it?
Hi!!! I (20F) have a bit of a crush on a guy in my class. It might just be my insecurities talking, but I don't think I'm the type of girl he finds attractive. I was talking to a male friend, and he told me that men don't befriend women they find unattractive (I don't agree with that bs btw).
But this guy *is* always smiling and very polite to me; he says goodbye every day and even seeks me out sometimes, things he doesn't do with my other girl friends.
What’s your take/verdict on what my friend said? Do men only get close to women they find pretty?
Does the opinion of your friends have any bearing on who you date long term and/or consider marrying? If all of your friends were like “hey your girlfriend sucks” but you genuinely believe she’s the one, would this influence you in a certain direction at all?
I went on a date with a guy, told him I am looking for serious stuff only and he told me he is looking for the same when I asked him twice, but his actions showed that he was much more interested in progressing things physically mainly, and suggesting sex on the second date in his car but I said no. We made out only. I got ghosted after the third date, we never had sex.
I never gave him any impression that I am looking for casual stuff. I have never hooked up in my life. So my question is, was I possibly not attractive enough for him to be considered for a long-term relationship?
Is that the reason that differentiates a hook up worthy women v relationship material for a lot of men? Especially so early in the dating phase? Please be honest
I am just curious. I know it’s probably not that much of a mystery. But I was just wondering how it feels? Sorry if it’s obvious 🤣
This post is based on a real life scenario but I want to understand how a man thinks. These are all three girls that my guy friend (M26) has been in relationships and he’s the only male I’ve had around long term and I just need to know if the way he thinks is something I can expect from most men.
if you were in a position where you had to choose between 3 girls/relationships and doing so would mean the other 2 walk out of your life forever. Which are you choosing ?
The kind girl - this is the kindest most genuine woman you have ever met. She loves deeply and unconditionally. She has seen the worst parts of you and even though she can’t relate completely she has accepted you and will stay by your side through whatever downfalls occur in your life. She is almost too good for you and sometimes it’s like you’re not deserving to of her.
The girl with the perfect body - whenever you would see woman on tv or commercials or even porn. It was woman that looked like her where you would say “this is the type of woman I’m going to marry.” The other woman are attractive, but this girl there is not one thing you could say that you didn’t like about her physically. However, she is immature and likes to play games and gets incredibly jealous. She’s cool and funny but she always wants to set expectations on you she doesn’t necessarily keep for herself. She also makes so effort to understand you but when you guys are “together” it is always so much fun.
The soul bonded one - the first day you met her you started dating. She is just like you in every way both the good and the bad. You both love with conditions, when one has hurt you it feels good to see that they’ve also been hurt either by you or something someone else did. You do not trust each other because you both lack impulse control and micro cheat (if not both cheat just never find out). You fight every day but you are bonded through shared trauma and she can relate to you on a deeper level and you love the way she shows her love to you.
I'm not looking for a white knight, but I keep wishing to attract better than I actually attract.
- drinking issues and drug issues, I blame SA from high school years. The drugs are gone but I'm struggling with the drinking still because I work at a bar and live by myself so its always there.
- depressed, anxious especially since I tried to make healthierr changes.
- I was a dancer at a "mens club" for a lot of years, that immediately sends good ones running. I can't help but feel like I should be upfront
- destitute, my new job doesn't pay anything like that so I'm crunched in a small one bedroom, drive a crappy car. I can almost feel the "ick" vibes
- I've never had problems attracting men its the keeping them part
So I know I'm in no place to find a real, healthy relationship. But given all my baggage should I surrender all hope?
hey all. i 23f am getting a little discouraged lately when it comes to dating. when i go out, i am only ever approached by older men. i’m talking men twice my age. i’ll sometimes see similar aged guys looking at me and smile at them, but nothing ever comes out of it. the relationships and hookups i’ve had in the past were all because i initiated/approached the guy first, but a part of me is wondering if they just settled for me considering im rarely ever approached by them.
i think im pretty, but i am definitely not the most beautiful girl in the room. I am comfortable in how i look and i know that confidence matters a lot. i’m usually not rejected when i approach, but the only guys that approach me literally could be my father and it’s making me feel a little doubtful about myself. if it matters i live in a major city and go to younger bars and clubs so it’s not like i frequenting places with an older age demographic. i also don’t believe it’s because i look older, because the first thing out of the older guys mouth is either "do you go to [x college in the city]" or "what year are you in school" so i think i look my age. what can i do to change this? is it maybe my body language that’s throwing guys off? please any advice will help.
I know I have retroactive jealousy. I’m in therapy for that now. How do you get over it? My lady was sleeping around with a bunch of guys in the past and it’s just so painful to think about. How do yall handle a situation like that?
My boyfriend and I were talking about attraction and erections, and he said that getting hard is basically an instinctive physical reaction for men.
He told me that he’s never gotten hard around another woman because he “wouldn’t let it happen,” but that if it did happen, he would naturally get an erection. He also said that if he were simply having a normal conversation with another woman, he could potentially get aroused even if he didn’t actually want anything to happen with her.
His point was that men can get erections without necessarily being attracted to or wanting someone sexually, because it can just be a physical response.
I understand that erections can happen involuntarily, but the idea that a completely normal conversation with a woman could make him physically aroused confused me.
For men, how normal is this, and how much does an erection actually say about whether you’re genuinely attracted to someone?
I feel like most dating advice for men is just the same handful of things repeated over and over: take care of yourself, dress well, be confident, work on your personality and to just talk to women like normal people.
Obviously, those things matter, but what if you're already doing them and still struggling?
I'm looking for advice that's actually practical. How do you get better at starting conversations? How do you know when someone is interested? How do you move from talking to actually going on a date without making things awkward? How do you improve your texting and learn from situations where things don't work out?
I'd really like to hear from guys who have actually improved their dating lives and can point to something specific that helped them. Books, communities, coaches, courses, personal experiences, anything that's genuinely useful rather than the same generic advice repeated everywhere.
Where have you guys found advice that actually made a difference?
I'm fitter, wealthier, more professionally successful, healthier and far more confident, yet as I've aged dating has become significantly harder.
I've gained more responsibilities, more job stress, and more of a reputation to uphold, while my pool of eligible compatible prospectives has shrunk significantly.
I also feel less inclined to having kids as I age, which seems to put me at odds with most serious women.
I am 65 and she is 48. We see each other every day and she often gives me hugs and always is fixing her hair and playing with it. Our first date was very nice and at the end she gave me a tight hug. We are planning date 2 in a few days. She has said that the age difference doesn’t matter. I’m open for any suggestions and opinions. Thank you