u/Low_Econ2000

I went on a date with a guy, told him I am looking for serious stuff only and he told me he is looking for the same when I asked him twice, but his actions showed that he was much more interested in progressing things physically mainly, and suggesting sex on the second date in his car but I said no. We made out only. I got ghosted after the third date, we never had sex.

I never gave him any impression that I am looking for casual stuff. I have never hooked up in my life. So my question is, was I possibly not attractive enough for him to be considered for a long-term relationship?

Is that the reason that differentiates a hook up worthy women v relationship material for a lot of men? Especially so early in the dating phase? Please be honest

How are you dealing with weight gain and intolerances?

I was ghosted.
Some days, I am like I don’t care and other days I miss the intimacy part. He was my first kiss and make out( which he didn’t know) and I keep thinking about more and could have been more time together. I wanted something serious and that’s what he told me too but I think he lost patience in not getting laid. The thing that bothers me the most is he got rid of me like I was nothing. He could have just kept me in my contacts, but he deleted my number and moved on. How do you go from holding hands for hours to complete and absolute strangers? Never to meet again? It’s probably my lack of experience in relationships in my 30s, but how do people move on so fast? We could have messaged here and then or just through social media, I was okay with things not materializing! Maybe I should have stayed casual to gain some experience and take the pressure off!

Same as above

I used to be able to think deep, my mind would be chattering all the time and thinking and analyzing stuff used to be one of my favourite things. I loved strategic stuff, problem solving and debating. I used to be able to handle situations to work in my favour. I was curious and would go into rabbit holes reading up stuff. Now my mind is at peace, but I can’t think deep anymore and sometimes it takes me time to put two and two together. Like stuff is not automatic anymore, I need to sit there and put in effort to think, if that makes sense. Life situations get worse and I feel like I can’t turn them around to be favourable. I also can’t feel deep anymore as well. The intensity of emotions is just gone, which makes it hard to navigate and decide as I don’t know what I truly want. I went from wanting to learn and work on complex matters in my profession to desiring a simple job which would not take too much of my brain power. ETA: I am single and no kids. I have been experiencing this for quite some time now.

I am so frustrated today. It had been a common feeling throughout my life. I will forever be mad at life for giving me the kind of body that made others to body shame me. I have been hearing stuff since I was a kid and even now in my 30s l hear body shaming.
I have never felt at ease in my own body. I used to cover up wearing full sleeves in scorching hot weather so that I won't hear something about my body. I still don't go anywhere without having a second layer. This has impacted my confidence and every aspect of my life- be it friendships, love life etc. I could never relate to other women who would love going shopping to see how hot they looked or going to a beach or an event. I hated shopping and dressed like a bum. I always wonder how comfortable one might feel if they have a nice body.
Wear whatever, being at ease and people admiring you. At the end of the day, I am myself not fine with how I look, even if I block the noise.
I am not sure why I got the body that I got. Both of my parents have normal and even great looking bodies. Most importantly, my lack of boobs. Every woman in my body has lean frame with big boobs, including my sister and mother, whereas I am almost flat chested and have been made fun of. Nobody has a body like me. Their lives are so different than mine. They love themselves and I have been scarred by body shaming and low confidence.I feel so unwomanly. Most of all, I hate that I still can't wear the stuff that I want to wear and I am so fucking old.

What are my options in terms of positions?

So I made an online friend after we matched on a dating app. He has no female friends and we have been talking for over a year (we never met) and he said he can never be friends with a hot or attractive woman because he would want to fuck them. I don't know why but I took it upon me as he was basically saying that I am unattractive, when we matched he used to praise me but I feel like it's because he doesn't get matches online and lied. He knows what I look like from my pictures and has made fun of my chest size( or lack thereof). He would send me pictures of woman (with a cleavage) he saw online saying she is so hot. He knows that I am very insecure and under confident woman. I don’t feel like talking to him- is it what I am feeling valid?

I am a really late bloomer in terms of relationships and sex.

My question: how bad does it hurt when you get fingered for the first time. Would it bleed? How is it in comparison to PIV? The guy doesn’t know that I am a virgin yet so I just want to gather all information beforehand.

I made out for the first time in my mid 30s. Happy to report that it’s nothing life changing. I know his intentions are not serious and I know it won’t last, but I wanted to get it over with somebody I find attractive

So I ended up being friends with a guy I matched on a dating website. We ended up not dating due to some other reasons. We have been consistently in touch for over 8 months but have never met in person. Today, we needed up discussing how I am his only female friend. He ended up (“accidentally?)revealing that he can’t be friends with hot women because he would want to sleep with them. Then I asked him are you only friends with women you are not attracted to? He said if he is friends with hot women it would be hard if he is in a relationship. Then that obviously meant he doesn’t find me attractive. When we matched he used to say you are hot or pretty. And he still now or then flirts with me. Am I wrong to feel confused or a bit hurt? Like I know I am not hot and can’t be everyone’s preference , but the fact that he blatantly lied to me, and indirectly called me unattractive? He has in the past made fun of my chest size and he apologized after I stopped talking to him for a while. I enjoy talking to him otherwise and thought he was a good “friend” as we discuss most aspects of our lives, but this time around it feels weird as he knows I am insecure and lack confidence in general. What are your thoughts and how would you approach this?

I have been rejected majority of the times in my life. Every time I match with a guy and he asks me out on a date, I dread it- because I am so used to the face men make when they see me. It shattered my confidence so much. Today a guy I matched with wants to meet tomorrow. I look the worst than I did when I went on previous dates because of weight issues etc. and normally I tend to delay meeting as much as I can but I am trying to accept myself and getting used to the rejection- so I will be going tomorrow, to be rejected yet again and hurting myself over again.

I submitted my resignation and I am in my notice period. I haven’t used my PTO this year. Will they pay me for my unutilized PTO or is it better if I apply those days towards my notice period?

For me, most Punjabi men I connect with on dating apps work blue collar jobs. There is nothing inherently wrong with it as they are earning their own money, but I am unable to maintain my interest once I find that they didn’t want to pursue higher education/career. I want to be open minded but I can’t help it and I don’t think I connect with them. I don’t know what to do about this

I got lectured on my last mistake about two days back and recent one will definitely put me in the red zone. I am going to confess about the new mistake today. I have been losing sleep for many days now.i can’t believe I did what I did as I am generally very carefully. I work in a professional field.

This place fires people often but getting fired is my biggest fear. Should I quit and confess or wait for them to fire me? I would like to quit regardless of what they say because I don’t want to work in the firm anymore.

Advise please. How should I approach it?

I think I can manage but lately I have been having sleepless nights thinking about work or any of my mess ups . It's transactional law, not extremely stressful but I have a history of anxiety. I am relatively early in the profession so I don't want to regret it down the line., when new lawyers are waiting to take my position.

I want to be able to practice law related or law in a field that is relaxed without the added stress. In house jobs see hard to come by. What's my best bet?

Should I quit or let them fire me?

Would appreciate serious responses

I don’t know if it’s due to getting older or it’s just my brain, but I don’t feel as deeply as I used to. I miss that feeling

How long did you work there for?